Sali Hughes #13 The best new products I’ve been using for years

[PineappleQueen19]

This is an interesting read, about why people participate in gossip sites. A lot is well observed, but it’s v one-dimensional - shame it doesn’t go into what I have found here, the feeling of finally not feeling like you’re going mad because you’ve found other people who can smell the same bullshit from woefully under-regulated influencers. Also a shame comments were turned off, I think it would have been insightful.

Feels like it should have been paired with a counter piece from someone such as one of us, it just comes off sanctimonious on its own.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeand...e-gossip-drama-women-influencer-addiction-why

 

[Jade Mitzi]

Am assuming she has been on ‘holiday’? Holiday for me wouldn’t involve being glued to Twitter the entire time. Hmmm

 

[Tesla's Ghost]

Possibly not a popular opinion but I actually preferred the days of solely having magazine makeup/skincare adverts, the irony being they seemed more honest. No, I didn’t think I would look like the model, but the model wasn’t lying to my face, pretending to be my mate, it was just all brilliant fantasy.


View attachment 93208 View attachment 93210

Now you've sent me down the rabbit hole of looking at old Lancome ads with Isabella Rossellini, I just adore her.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Actually I do like those jeans - did it say where they are from? Don't know why I ask as I never wear them.

 

[Curio]

Actually I do like those jeans - did it say where they are from? Don't know why I ask as I never wear them.

I don’t know where those are from but they’re similar to Topshop Editors which are good.

 

[Aude]

This is an interesting read, about why people participate in gossip sites. A lot is well observed, but it’s v one-dimensional - shame it doesn’t go into what I have found here, the feeling of finally not feeling like you’re going mad because you’ve found other people who can smell the same bullshit from woefully under-regulated influencers. Also a shame comments were turned off, I think it would have been insightful.

Feels like it should have been paired with a counter piece from someone such as one of us, it just comes off sanctimonious on its own.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeand...e-gossip-drama-women-influencer-addiction-why

First, a warning. The article contains a description of an extremely cruel 18th century practice involving animals of which I was previously happy to be unaware.

Second, the article doesn't reflect my feelings about here at all. I don't wish SH ill in any way, I wouldn't revel in her misfortune (if she had any) and I certainly don't post here with the aim of doing her harm. I do though believe that we have the right to comment on the content anyone puts in the public domain and the broader issues it raises - and we do so here because it seems that elsewhere anything questioning or critical about a beauty influencer gets taken down or responded to aggressively by the influencer and/or their followers.

 

[rosemarina]

Thanks for the warning, @Aude. I’ll avoid it in that case. Sorry you had to read something like that.

 

[Blunderous]

Possibly not a popular opinion but I actually preferred the days of solely having magazine makeup/skincare adverts, the irony being they seemed more honest. No, I didn’t think I would look like the model, but the model wasn’t lying to my face, pretending to be my mate, it was just all brilliant fantasy.


View attachment 93208 View attachment 93210

Exactly. Advertising has always been dishonest, but it's the way 'influencers' take advantage of the parasocial relationship now that makes it so much worse. "Look at this unattainably beautiful person" is weirdly more wholesome than "Look at my cute dog, look at me in my PJs, look at my perfect skin that you can have if you buy this stuff*"

*and if you get some injections that I won't tell you about.

 

[bottlewrapper]

There is a double edge to the beauty industry. One side is all 'It's great and empowering and fun to make the best of yourself', but the other side is debt, competitiveness and obligation. Behind the dark side is all the knotty stuff we don't like to consider: oppression, vanity, female solidarity, racial preference, gender stereotypes, environmental destruction, animal testing etc.

The centre of it all is taking female normality and then shaming us for being that way. Leg hair, periods, fat, menopause etc, but at the heart of of it is aging.

It's one thing to adorn the body, which is joyful and fun, but anything obliterating female normality is oppressive. Hair dye becomes an expensive faff, let alone the pain and side effects of injectables - these are 'obliterating' how we are, not adding. That's why we're conflicted about them.

 

[Grizzlybear]

Thanks for the warning, @Aude. I’ll avoid it in that case. Sorry you had to read something like that.

Likewise

 

[PennyBr]

This is an interesting read, about why people participate in gossip sites. A lot is well observed, but it’s v one-dimensional - shame it doesn’t go into what I have found here, the feeling of finally not feeling like you’re going mad because you’ve found other people who can smell the same bullshit from woefully under-regulated influencers. Also a shame comments were turned off, I think it would have been insightful.

Feels like it should have been paired with a counter piece from someone such as one of us, it just comes off sanctimonious on its own.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeand...e-gossip-drama-women-influencer-addiction-why

I did read the article despite the warnings and some concepts are interesting, i wasn’t aware of the specific habit from the 18th century, but it does take only half a paragraph, so if you see one paragraph starting with the ‘18th century’ just skip it.
The examples from reddit are extreme indeed, and i haven‘t noticed this behaviour on this thread ( i did attempt to follow 2 other threads on tattle and left due to how uncomfortable the commenters made me feel: there was no space for debate, or a balanced opinion just the extreme view). All i have noticed here is for any comments about the looks of SH there are dissenting views, which are respected ( eg commenters stating that they actually do like her make up, or a piece of clothing etc). The issues we mostly struggle with are: the rare disclosure of tweakments, the lazy writing in her column, the bullying, the attitude of knowing better than anyone else and the commercial relationships she entertains with brands whilst trying to come across as public service almost. When it is not, and she makes a living out of pretending to be an approachable friend, whilst getting paid, and forgetting to mention so.
And i love it when we go a bit off topic! And yes i am mostly a stalker here Love reading well rounded thoughts, or partially rounded ones, different opinions, a bunch of smart women just chatting. Thank you! Back to lurking.

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

I appreciate you folk a lot. I’ve been increasingly more self conscious of the lines across my forehead (apparently I haven’t spent my life frowning, I’ve spent it being extremely surprised, and have the lines to show for it), to the point where I fell down a bit of a rabbit hole when I got a leaflet through my door advertising special offers on a new beauty clinic that’s opened up a stone’s throw from my work, where I thought to myself that maybe a cheeky ‘weak dilute’ in my forehead would make me feel better. The reality is, it wouldn’t, though. I’d end up getting fixated about some other part of my face which I’d want to tweak, until I looked ridiculous. Or, it’d go wrong on the first go (let’s face it, it’s probably not adviseable to get cheap injectibles) and I’d forever look infinitely worse than I currently do and wish I’d never bothered. I needed your sensible responses these last few days and you really delivered. For a bunch of beefy-faced incels, you’re all alright you know!

 

[Jelly Bean]

I appreciate you folk a lot. I’ve been increasingly more self conscious of the lines across my forehead (apparently I haven’t spent my life frowning, I’ve spent it being extremely surprised, and have the lines to show for it), to the point where I fell down a bit of a rabbit hole when I got a leaflet through my door advertising special offers on a new beauty clinic that’s opened up a stone’s throw from my work, where I thought to myself that maybe a cheeky ‘weak dilute’ in my forehead would make me feel better. The reality is, it wouldn’t, though. I’d end up getting fixated about some other part of my face which I’d want to tweak, until I looked ridiculous. Or, it’d go wrong on the first go (let’s face it, it’s probably not adviseable to get cheap injectibles) and I’d forever look infinitely worse than I currently do and wish I’d never bothered. I needed your sensible responses these last few days and you really delivered. For a bunch of beefy-faced incels, you’re all alright you know!

I seriously think we have all been there - I've seriously contemplated getting the line between my eyebrows sorted out. But you are so right in that once I did that then I'd look at something else as a fault. Of course it is anyone's personal choice but I have a daughter (and now granddaughter) and my daughter has inherited that line and she is beautiful. I now try to look at my face and not see faults, or the crime of aging, but my face that my husband and family love (hopefully) and it has served me well.

 

[Marzipan]

I had 2 moles removed last April. Had wanted them done for years and years. Haven't regretted it. No-one has noticed. But I prefer how I look without them. Not younger. Just prefer not seeing them. All cosmetic/vanity. Unnecessary procedure and arguably could have put the money to "better" use. But I dont see that as the same as Botox/fillers which is a slippery slope as you've got to keep going. And I want my face to reflect the true me at every stage of my life. Even though Ive been told I look "full of hell" - despite being joyful inside - presumably due to the frown lines, hooded eyelids and downturned mouth. Tomorrow we are burying my 101 year old step-grandmother. I hope I get to that age with gratitude for every wrinkle and age spot.

 

[Jelly Bean]

I had 2 moles removed last April. Had wanted them done for years and years. Haven't regretted it. No-one has noticed. But I prefer how I look without them. Not younger. Just prefer not seeing them. All cosmetic/vanity. Unnecessary procedure and arguably could have put the money to "better" use. But I dont see that as the same as Botox/fillers which is a slippery slope as you've got to keep going. And I want my face to reflect the true me at every stage of my life. Even though Ive been told I look "full of hell" - despite being joyful inside - presumably due to the frown lines, hooded eyelids and downturned mouth. Tomorrow we are burying my 101 year old step-grandmother. I hope I get to that age with gratitude for every wrinkle and age spot.

Gosh she got to a good age. I'm sorry for your loss.
I agree with you that I think we need to appreciate an aging face is a lovely face with all it's attendant and interesting changes. My mum is 89 and has a lovely lively face. Sad times when and if intervention is seen as the norm.

 

[Marzipan]

Gosh she got to a good age. I'm sorry for your loss.
I agree with you that I think we need to appreciate an aging face is a lovely face with all it's attendant and interesting changes. My mum is 89 and has a lovely lively face. Sad times when and if intervention is seen as the norm.

Maybe I'm just jealous as I've got one of those faces that goes down at the mouth and the outer eyelids so I genuinely look better if I just "cheer up luv" but equally would look absolutely ridiculous with Botox/fillers as the natural structure of my face is flat to saggy! but whatever - shouldnt we focus on more constructive things?! Yet I love cleansing and skincare and makeup and perfume -just aware of its limits. Thank you for kind words.

 

[Curio]

I’m going back to the prior discussion here but I’ve been thinking again about how if I opened a restaurant I’d get good and presumably critical reviews. While they’d sting, they’re part of running a business, particularly in the online era; and kindness doesn’t preclude honest feedback where you’re taking people’s money. Influencers are running a business by making themselves and their followers the product.

While I’m sure I might inwardly fume, I would ultimately not follow this line of business as I don’t think I have a thick enough skin to take the feedback. I just don’t think you can have your cake and eat it.

It irritates me that it’s usually women doing this as it seems it’s doing a disservice to other businesswomen in responding to honest feedback with a ‘waaah, why can’t everybody be kind’ response and perpetuating the emotional women in business trope. I wouldn’t get away with that in the corporate world. A combination of ‘suck it up buttercup’ and ‘if you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen’ applies.

 

[RayRayJay]

Sorry to hear about your step grandmother @Marzipan I hope the day is filled with happy reflection.

I really love the skin of older, as in 80 year old, ladies. When it's all soft, filled with lovely lines and blemish free. It even looks nice with chin hairs grown in.

 

[Curio]

Finally to add to my stream of consciousness, if they don’t like what’s being said then don’t follow, and scroll by - or no, wait, if that doesn’t work then?

I’m so sorry @Marzipan

 

[Marzipan]

Thanks all - no sympathy needed - as in most families it was a complicated relationship and will be an interesting day (but yes, hopefully some laughs and nice memories too!). Not sure I agree about the chin hair though...