Sali Hughes #13 The best new products I’ve been using for years

[Jelly Bean]

Speaking of friends I'm sure I've shared this with you all before but hey ho.

A few years ago I was out for an office leaving do dinner and there were about 20 of us. I was quite dressed up and had made an effort. Anyway at some point my friend shouted down the table to me apropos nothing - 'Jelly you could have such a pretty face if only you had Botox and a different hairstyle'. Awkward silence all round with people then looking at me closely saying 'but she doesn't need Botox etc' with my friend then pointing out exactly where I needed it. I have rarely been so upset and humiliated. Bizarrely we are still friends. She did one of those 'I was so drunk I don't remember a thing about last night' things.
Years later I still have not had it but those words do ring in my ears sometimes. It is hard I think to not look at your aging face as something shameful.
Also I wonder if I had lots of money would I do it? Is a sign of wealth and freebies a smooth shiney face? While we peasants fight over bog roll in Tesco's with our beefy wrinkly faces?

 

[SqualorVictoria]

Speaking of friends I'm sure I've shared this with you all before but hey ho.

A few years ago I was out for an office leaving do dinner and there were about 20 of us. I was quite dressed up and had made an effort. Anyway at some point my friend shouted down the table to me apropos nothing - 'Jelly you could have such a pretty face if only you had Botox and a different hairstyle'. Awkward silence all round with people then looking at me closely saying 'but she doesn't need Botox etc' with my friend then pointing out exactly where I needed it. I have rarely been so upset and humiliated. Bizarrely we are still friends. She did one of those 'I was so drunk I don't remember a thing about last night' things.
Years later I still have not had it but those words do ring in my ears sometimes. It is hard I think to not look at your aging face as something shameful.
Also I wonder if I had lots of money would I do it? Is a sign of wealth and freebies a smooth shiney face? While we peasants fight over bog roll in Tesco's with our beefy wrinkly faces?

Not quite on the same level but years ago at a fancy black tie office do, I was asked by someone "why are you not wearing fake tan, you'd be so much better if you did" and someone else said "yes next time you'll have to get properly dolled up with fake tan". I love my pale skin and think fake tan looks ridiculous on pale skins. I sometimes think that pressure comes from other women and not men.

 

[Grizzlybear]

Speaking of friends I'm sure I've shared this with you all before but hey ho.

A few years ago I was out for an office leaving do dinner and there were about 20 of us. I was quite dressed up and had made an effort. Anyway at some point my friend shouted down the table to me apropos nothing - 'Jelly you could have such a pretty face if only you had Botox and a different hairstyle'. Awkward silence all round with people then looking at me closely saying 'but she doesn't need Botox etc' with my friend then pointing out exactly where I needed it. I have rarely been so upset and humiliated. Bizarrely we are still friends. She did one of those 'I was so drunk I don't remember a thing about last night' things.
Years later I still have not had it but those words do ring in my ears sometimes. It is hard I think to not look at your aging face as something shameful.
Also I wonder if I had lots of money would I do it? Is a sign of wealth and freebies a smooth shiney face? While we peasants fight over bog roll in Tesco's with our beefy wrinkly faces?

what the absolute duck?! Says more about her than it does about you tbh. People have said similar to me over the years. It’s tough to be so sanguine when directed at you personally. I’m sure you look great! God, people are garbage sometimes

Not quite on the same level but years ago at a fancy black tie office do, I was asked by someone "why are you not wearing fake tan, you'd be so much better if you did" and someone else said "yes next time you'll have to get properly dolled up with fake tan". I love my pale skin and think fake tan looks ridiculous on pale skins. I sometimes think that pressure comes from other women and not men.

This was my top feedback for years. Additionally, I used to work in the beauty industry and was handed a bottle of fake tan once and told to apply it from then on reader, I did not. It was back when fake tan looked like you’d rolled in wotsits

 

[bottlewrapper]

It is hard I think to not look at your aging face as something shameful

You make an important point - this is what the whole industry is designed to do at its rotten heart. If aging is presented as shameful, grooming becomes 'self care', therefore, the more grooming you do the better. Never mind that you're impoverishing yourself - it's a effectively a tax on being female, but we're also ruining the planet. And the standard seems to get higher and higher and more and more expensive and involved. Ugh.

 

[GTL Old-Timer]

I am as pale as the bathroom tiles in my house and if anyone told me to fake-tan, I'd tell them to do one.

On the subject of Sali's g-d awful writing, (it's utter shite) she might want to take note of George Orwell's (ya know, an ACTUAL proper writer) guide to writing well:

 

[Tesla's Ghost]

my friend

Does your friend have a husband named Eric?

 

[Curio]

It’s lucky Esther Coren didn’t write that Caitlin article, she’d have been eviscerated.

 

[ProudNose]

Has Sali ever mentioned having Profhilo?

 

[melfish]

The whole beauty industry is based on a foundation of shame. Whatever way you cut it - keep telling yourself it's fun, or self-expression, or self-care - at the very root it is appealing to a sense of shame. And it's a whole layer of concern that men need not even concern themselves with

On that basis alone, is should be rejected for what it is, but alas ...

I do think the injectables are a bridge too far and if we survive as a species we will look back on their use with puzzlement, but that doesn't mean I haven't thought about them myself

 

[lipsticktaser]

I think the thing with injectables, is it makes woman look so generic. Go on a night out in any city centre and there are swarms if identical faces. There have always been trends in clothes (the black work trousers and denim jacket crew, and anything zara) and hair (hello balayage).
but now their is no character in face anymore. Everyone just has the same Tight, aggressive, duck face.

 

[melfish]

I

I think the thing with injectables, is it makes woman look so generic. Go on a night out in any city centre and there are swarms if identical faces. There have always been trends in clothes (the black work trousers and denim jacket crew, and anything zara) and hair (hello balayage).
but now their is no character in face anymore. Everyone just has the same Tight, aggressive, duck face.

It's very boring, isn't it?

It's like when everyone got straight, ultra-white chiclet teeth

 

[AmberSpyglass]

Has Sali ever mentioned having Profhilo?

I don’t think she had mentioned having it done herself, she has talked about Mesotherapy which might be similar if I recall correctly.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Yes it is boring. I think it makes faces look so hard too - I mean the skin actually looks hard, not soft and peachy as normal skin looks. It is so sad when a naturally pretty woman first comes into the public eye and then feels the need for Botox, lip fillers, white tombstone teeth losing the individuality that was so lovely.

 

[ProudNose]

Sali does have that waxy unusual quality I have seen with injectables. Smooth but also weirdly lumpy in spots.

 

[bottlewrapper]

Everyone just has the same Tight, aggressive, duck face.

I noticed this too. So many surly (but pouty) expressions. What I do think is a shame is how injectables are rarely good from all angles, so women's faces are created to look good pouting straight/3 quarters on, but in reality very odd from other angles (see Madonna, Kylie J for examples).

There was a study too (maybe Harvard but I can't remember) which looked at empathy, which is conveyed through mirroring micro facial expressions. These micro expressions are lost with injectables, so studying children and mothers with pumped faces it was discovered that the children have less empathy because they don't learn to read the micro expressions. That's chilling.

 

[Tesla's Ghost]

And it's a whole layer of concern that men need not even concern themselves with

From my extensive psychological knowledge (zero) and clinical experience (zero), a man with a small is a bigger problem to society than a woman with wrinkles or small breasts. So, not only is it medically induced, but for society's sake, the cosmetic industry should really focus on this issue!

 

[bottlewrapper]

a man with a small is a bigger problem to society than a woman with wrinkles or small breasts

No injectables for those though!

 

[Jade Mitzi]

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS 'SUBTLY' LOKING DRAMATICALLY AND ILLOGICALLY MUCH, MUCH BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE' {{{her capitals}}}.

She then goes on to say how of course you can alter your appearance as long as it is joyful and fun and creative eg through hair, clothing, makeup etc then:

But women living in fear of aging, and pulling painful and expensive tracks to hide it from the world, does not say something amazing about us as human beings. It makes us look as though we were made to do it, by big boys. It makes us look like losers. It makes us look like cowards. And that's the last thing we are'.

cannot abide CM so hadn’t seen this. So is it a sly dig at her friend Sali’s smidges, tweaks and dilutes? Sali must have had a squirm reading that?

A good Sunday read from Jessica DeFino

“Everyone’s all about de-stigmatising dermal fillers and Botox, that’s fine. I want to de-stigmatise wrinkles and ageing and sagging normal faces. I think it stems from sometimes feeling less beautiful or less worthy than those that do get these treatments and I wonder where the cycle stops. If we continue down this path, how will it affect future generations? I’m interested in exploring that more than I’m interested in assuaging my own appearance anxiety with injectables”

https://fashionista.com/.amp/2019/07/injectables-fillers-self-care

that is the sort of article a genuine beauty writer should be writing. I think as so many have alluded to, Sali just isn’t a good enough writer, she tried in The Pool to broaden her horizons and it was dull, self serving and clumsy. Nobody came knocking to pay her for such poor output. So, she jumped into the IG influencer arena and is floundering around in there, but still trying to pretend to be an impartial journo type. She needs to decide what she is and not try to straddle both camps badly.

 

[Jelly Bean]

cannot abide CM so hadn’t seen this. So is it a sly dig at her friend Sali’s smidges, tweaks and dilutes? Sali must have had a squirm reading that?

Funnily enough I immediately thought of SH when I read the Caitlin Moran bit. The description of people's faces being 'well rested' and 'oh I just have a good skincare routine'. It becomes especially complicated if that person is recommending skincare products. It is harder for other women who buy all the products recommended for anti aging etc who don't realise it isn't a level playing field, but who think a line or wrinkle is actually abnormal and they just aren't buying the RIGHT stuff.

 

[Jade Mitzi]

Possibly not a popular opinion but I actually preferred the days of solely having magazine makeup/skincare adverts, the irony being they seemed more honest. No, I didn’t think I would look like the model, but the model wasn’t lying to my face, pretending to be my mate, it was just all brilliant fantasy.