RECRAP
A SQUID VID. I'm gonna be sick before I even begin...
Off to a good start - we begin with their SOP of kids being incorrectly strapped in on the way...to school? Jonathan claims he broke his back at baby ballet ... yeah I'm not even going to ask!
They're making a roll call for each of the kids... and Emilia brings up Squid...as if Squid was also part of this gang off to school. "Squid would be four now, a year older than Alessia."
"Emilia just asked me when is Squiddy's birthday..." What the
duck... now they want to make up a birthday for him so that they can celebrate it?
Considering that Squid was never actually a baby... it's absolutely disgusting that they involve the kids like that.... and just for clickbait and views! COME ON! Unless they constantly bring it up, none of the kids would even remember it at that point, it was more than 3 years ago! That's almost half of Emilia's entire life. I'm no expert but I don't think it's healthy for Alessia and Andrea especially to include a dead baby that was never even a real baby and is obviously something they don't understand. I feel sooo sorry for Alessia, one day she'll think the whole Squid Story is why her parents
dislike her so much.
Can't get over the fact that there's a squid tattoo, an anna tattoo, the very big E tattoos and but the As got no real estate on the leprechaun.
Also, while J is explaining some squid stuff to Emilia, it looks like Eduardo does something (like...take something from her, hit her? I don't know?) to Alessia in the background which makes her cry.... but I'm sure the Squid business is more important.
Emilia wants Dec 25th to be Squid's bday, because that way he will get more presents. WHAT THE
duck. If they had lost a baby from SIDS etc. and the kids had known the baby, maybe then I would feel differently but... yeah... no. Just no. Alessia is getting ignored this whole time, I hate it so much.
Back at the house, one of the dogs is eating Anna's slippers and trying to destroy it - ummm... that's precisely why you should pay attention when the dogs growl at your children, Princess. We're treated to spy cam footage of the incident. How exciting!
Alessia is picked up from school, sucking her thumb, not strapped in properly (this is getting so repetitive) ...and J interviews her about school. She says no and won't play along, but he claims she told him loads just a minute before. Right. Then we get to this heartbreaking bit. I mean, it's about her saying no to everything... but can you not ask these kinds of questions???????
"Do you love daddy?" She shakes her head, no."Does daddy love Alessia?" She shakes her head, no."Do I love Alessia?" Shakes her head. "Does anyone love Alessia?" No. "Oh my goodness, no one loves Lessi." I'm fuming. Why can't he ask her if she's Spiderman 10 times, does it have to be about LOVE? He does say I love you Lessi a few times at the end of the scene, but that's still a terrible dialogue IMO. I would never.
Anna is making pasta for the kids. "I've got oil and butter in the pan... I should be adding bacon as well." Jonathan ate the bacon. Good. Why do you need oil and butter? Food issues....food issues.... but it's brown pasta, so you know, it's all healthy. Anna says Eduardo is lazy and doesn't do his reading unless she does it with him in the car. He's five. He's not lazy, he's a little boy who prefers playing to doing his homework. Dinner is at 5 and it looks disgusting to me. Anna claims she's had birthday cake for the past 5 days so she needs to cut herself off. SURE.
Alessia just woke up from her nap, she sleeps with 10 books in the bed and it's the cutest. The Es got picked up at school and are taken to gymnastics. Anna ponders "Hopefully Jonathan will survive with the babies. Do you guys think Daddy will survive with the babies?" First of all, they aren't technically babies anymore and Jonathan isn't you, Princess. He can handle a mean toddler and a tyrant.
Back at the house Jonathan is trying to work while simultaneously watching the kids. Andrea nearly fell off the couch, but everyone did survive - YAY.
Jonathan and Anna are off to date night and we get to come along. It's so romantic! Just them two and 1.9 Million subscribers. Jonathan is such a man child, he sometimes talks to Anna like she's one of the kids.
There's a boring ass rant at the end where he says there should be a part of government that should be in charge of creating happiness. please create laws that prevent the exploitation of children and force you to properly secure your kids in the Car seats first!