I feel depressed just thinking about the Emily Dickinson Museum.
Ruby Granger #44 To be or not to be pretentious, that is the subjective question.
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Haha I'd forgotten all about that moment. Now I feel worse. Thank u.
Seriously though. That Boston trip was the most miserable-looking holiday I've seen. Ruby did nothing to sell the place!
That screenshot looks like something on a horror film...
Did jade give her some pointers during her visit? Not quite for her eye banging technique down thoughWhy the long arm roobs, get back to being productive
I aslo have a feeling that she did it because it would look good on her Oxford application
how is no one mentioning the hitachi magic wand just sat on the floor behind her?
I... what...ok
Are we sure it's not a hairdryer?
It’s definitely a hair dryerAre we sure it's not a hairdryer?
Buzzing in the night,
Whispers of electric delight,
Sensations take flight.
Whispers of electric delight,
Sensations take flight.
I don't think I could cope with erotic literature from our Ruby. The word salad would kill the mood
Doesn't it look a bit big to be a magic wand
There’s all kinds of Harry Potter/Hermione jokes I could make here but they’re too obvious to be funny 
This thread has taken an unexpected turn.
They're still funny tbh.There’s all kinds of Harry Potter/Hermione jokes I could make here but they’re too obvious to be funny
Can we please not go down this slippery slope? 
Straight to jail
The problem is (from someone who lives here) is that she came at the worst time of the year. It's cold, windy, and it gets dark at 4 PM in the fall. She came around the end of the witch tourist crowd and it doesn't help that many of the museums here that she wanted to go to were far out (Concord and Amherst). Amherst especially sucks. It's a uni town way far out in the boondocks that has UMass, but even the UMass students hate it out there because there's no train to get back to Boston. Ruby went in thinking that she could take the train everywhere (which is true for GREATER Boston) but she didn't take into account she was going in the literal boondocks.Haha I'd forgotten all about that moment. Now I feel worse. Thank u.
Seriously though. That Boston trip was the most miserable-looking holiday I've seen. Ruby did nothing to sell the place!
Mummy Bones has graced us with another tall tale of domestic disaster and assures us that - just like Ruby - she's JANUINELY A JARMAPHYOBE, HONNASTLEE while seemingly going out of her way to jam her hands into dog tit:
www.whatapalaver.co
I am a bit of a germophobe. Even before the pandemic, I always carried a mini bottle of hand sanitizer with me at all times. So, this week has been a bit of a reminder of why I still do...
I was walking my lovely Lola on one of our daily walks when she decided to do her morning poo. I rustled in my pocket and produced a flimsy bag to pick up the steaming deposit. The only thing was that as I was scooping up the poop, the side of my hand got smeared with the stuff. Freaking out, I wiped the debris on some nearby grass, before double bagging it and putting it in my 'warming pocket'. I had decided to dedicate my outer left pocket of my coat to storing bagged up dog poo until I could dispose of it in a bin.
Two days later and exactly the same thing happened but this time, I only had one bag with me and, luckily, some tissues. I wrapped tissue around the overflowing, undone bag and held my parcel upright during the remainder of my walk - looking like I was holding a small baby's soiled nappy. I got home, threw it in the bin and scrubbed my hands red raw clean. The next day, I invested in some heavy duty dog poo bags for future events such as these.
Later in the week, I popped into the supermarket to pick up some lunch bits en route to my friend's house but as I had time on my hands, I grabbed a takeaway coffee. I put the shopping on the passenger seat of my car, balanced the coffee cup on the central bit and gingerly shut the door before walking around to the driver's seat. I was looking forward to ten minutes sipping my coffee and reading a chapter of my book before I was on my merry way. In the time I opened the car door and sat down, I had forgotten about the coffee (brainfog alert) and managed to swipe my elbow into it and spill over the car seat covers. Argh. Luckily, it did have a lid on so not all was spilt - just a stream of hot liquid from the hole in the top. I wiped up the mess with a tissue and tried to rectify the situation but not feeling like Sarah Jessica-Parker, as I had intended, while I drank my coffee and turned the pages of my book with sticky fingers.
The next day, I attended an art class for the first time in years and I forgot how much fun it is to paint. There were about thirty women my age group and we met in a church hall with coffee shop attached, chatting, drinking and painting canvases - attempting to create pictures of bowls with lemons or hydrangeas in. It was such a colourful experience and I was on a high afterwards. We all managed to cover our hands with splotches of paint, plus the odd splodge on our cheeks.
So, my hands have been covered in a few different substances to usual but I have to say that 'clean dirt' such as paint and coffee is my ultimate preference to dog poo (you don't say). I will certainly make sure I keep a supply of hand sanitizer and tissues to hand for the forseeable.
Dirty Hands
(When life gives you lemons, squeeze them into your hand sanitizer...)I am a bit of a germophobe. Even before the pandemic, I always carried a mini bottle of hand sanitizer with me at all times. So, this week has been a bit of a reminder of why I still do...I was walking my lovely Lola on one...
I am a bit of a germophobe. Even before the pandemic, I always carried a mini bottle of hand sanitizer with me at all times. So, this week has been a bit of a reminder of why I still do...
I was walking my lovely Lola on one of our daily walks when she decided to do her morning poo. I rustled in my pocket and produced a flimsy bag to pick up the steaming deposit. The only thing was that as I was scooping up the poop, the side of my hand got smeared with the stuff. Freaking out, I wiped the debris on some nearby grass, before double bagging it and putting it in my 'warming pocket'. I had decided to dedicate my outer left pocket of my coat to storing bagged up dog poo until I could dispose of it in a bin.
Two days later and exactly the same thing happened but this time, I only had one bag with me and, luckily, some tissues. I wrapped tissue around the overflowing, undone bag and held my parcel upright during the remainder of my walk - looking like I was holding a small baby's soiled nappy. I got home, threw it in the bin and scrubbed my hands red raw clean. The next day, I invested in some heavy duty dog poo bags for future events such as these.
Later in the week, I popped into the supermarket to pick up some lunch bits en route to my friend's house but as I had time on my hands, I grabbed a takeaway coffee. I put the shopping on the passenger seat of my car, balanced the coffee cup on the central bit and gingerly shut the door before walking around to the driver's seat. I was looking forward to ten minutes sipping my coffee and reading a chapter of my book before I was on my merry way. In the time I opened the car door and sat down, I had forgotten about the coffee (brainfog alert) and managed to swipe my elbow into it and spill over the car seat covers. Argh. Luckily, it did have a lid on so not all was spilt - just a stream of hot liquid from the hole in the top. I wiped up the mess with a tissue and tried to rectify the situation but not feeling like Sarah Jessica-Parker, as I had intended, while I drank my coffee and turned the pages of my book with sticky fingers.
The next day, I attended an art class for the first time in years and I forgot how much fun it is to paint. There were about thirty women my age group and we met in a church hall with coffee shop attached, chatting, drinking and painting canvases - attempting to create pictures of bowls with lemons or hydrangeas in. It was such a colourful experience and I was on a high afterwards. We all managed to cover our hands with splotches of paint, plus the odd splodge on our cheeks.
So, my hands have been covered in a few different substances to usual but I have to say that 'clean dirt' such as paint and coffee is my ultimate preference to dog poo (you don't say). I will certainly make sure I keep a supply of hand sanitizer and tissues to hand for the forseeable.
So they're both insufferable? Good to know. I grew up fairly near where she went to school (the towns nearby and the school she went were... very much not alike) and I knew slightly too many mums like this from when I was working.Mummy Bones has graced us with another tall tale of domestic disaster and assures us that - just like Ruby - she's JANUINELY A JARMAPHYOBE, HONNASTLEE while seemingly going out of her way to jam her hands into dog tit:
Dirty Hands
(When life gives you lemons, squeeze them into your hand sanitizer...)I am a bit of a germophobe. Even before the pandemic, I always carried a mini bottle of hand sanitizer with me at all times. So, this week has been a bit of a reminder of why I still do...I was walking my lovely Lola on one...
I am a bit of a germophobe. Even before the pandemic, I always carried a mini bottle of hand sanitizer with me at all times. So, this week has been a bit of a reminder of why I still do...
I was walking my lovely Lola on one of our daily walks when she decided to do her morning poo. I rustled in my pocket and produced a flimsy bag to pick up the steaming deposit. The only thing was that as I was scooping up the poop, the side of my hand got smeared with the stuff. Freaking out, I wiped the debris on some nearby grass, before double bagging it and putting it in my 'warming pocket'. I had decided to dedicate my outer left pocket of my coat to storing bagged up dog poo until I could dispose of it in a bin.
Two days later and exactly the same thing happened but this time, I only had one bag with me and, luckily, some tissues. I wrapped tissue around the overflowing, undone bag and held my parcel upright during the remainder of my walk - looking like I was holding a small baby's soiled nappy. I got home, threw it in the bin and scrubbed my hands red raw clean. The next day, I invested in some heavy duty dog poo bags for future events such as these.
Later in the week, I popped into the supermarket to pick up some lunch bits en route to my friend's house but as I had time on my hands, I grabbed a takeaway coffee. I put the shopping on the passenger seat of my car, balanced the coffee cup on the central bit and gingerly shut the door before walking around to the driver's seat. I was looking forward to ten minutes sipping my coffee and reading a chapter of my book before I was on my merry way. In the time I opened the car door and sat down, I had forgotten about the coffee (brainfog alert) and managed to swipe my elbow into it and spill over the car seat covers. Argh. Luckily, it did have a lid on so not all was spilt - just a stream of hot liquid from the hole in the top. I wiped up the mess with a tissue and tried to rectify the situation but not feeling like Sarah Jessica-Parker, as I had intended, while I drank my coffee and turned the pages of my book with sticky fingers.
The next day, I attended an art class for the first time in years and I forgot how much fun it is to paint. There were about thirty women my age group and we met in a church hall with coffee shop attached, chatting, drinking and painting canvases - attempting to create pictures of bowls with lemons or hydrangeas in. It was such a colourful experience and I was on a high afterwards. We all managed to cover our hands with splotches of paint, plus the odd splodge on our cheeks.
So, my hands have been covered in a few different substances to usual but I have to say that 'clean dirt' such as paint and coffee is my ultimate preference to dog poo (you don't say). I will certainly make sure I keep a supply of hand sanitizer and tissues to hand for the forseeable.
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