what…Mummy Bones has graced us with another tall tale of domestic disaster and assures us that - just like Ruby - she's JANUINELY A JARMAPHYOBE, HONNASTLEE while seemingly going out of her way to jam her hands into dog tit:
Dirty Hands
(When life gives you lemons, squeeze them into your hand sanitizer...)I am a bit of a germophobe. Even before the pandemic, I always carried a mini bottle of hand sanitizer with me at all times. So, this week has been a bit of a reminder of why I still do...I was walking my lovely Lola on one...www.whatapalaver.co
I am a bit of a germophobe. Even before the pandemic, I always carried a mini bottle of hand sanitizer with me at all times. So, this week has been a bit of a reminder of why I still do...
I was walking my lovely Lola on one of our daily walks when she decided to do her morning poo. I rustled in my pocket and produced a flimsy bag to pick up the steaming deposit. The only thing was that as I was scooping up the poop, the side of my hand got smeared with the stuff. Freaking out, I wiped the debris on some nearby grass, before double bagging it and putting it in my 'warming pocket'. I had decided to dedicate my outer left pocket of my coat to storing bagged up dog poo until I could dispose of it in a bin.
Two days later and exactly the same thing happened but this time, I only had one bag with me and, luckily, some tissues. I wrapped tissue around the overflowing, undone bag and held my parcel upright during the remainder of my walk - looking like I was holding a small baby's soiled nappy. I got home, threw it in the bin and scrubbed my hands red raw clean. The next day, I invested in some heavy duty dog poo bags for future events such as these.
Later in the week, I popped into the supermarket to pick up some lunch bits en route to my friend's house but as I had time on my hands, I grabbed a takeaway coffee. I put the shopping on the passenger seat of my car, balanced the coffee cup on the central bit and gingerly shut the door before walking around to the driver's seat. I was looking forward to ten minutes sipping my coffee and reading a chapter of my book before I was on my merry way. In the time I opened the car door and sat down, I had forgotten about the coffee (brainfog alert) and managed to swipe my elbow into it and spill over the car seat covers. Argh. Luckily, it did have a lid on so not all was spilt - just a stream of hot liquid from the hole in the top. I wiped up the mess with a tissue and tried to rectify the situation but not feeling like Sarah Jessica-Parker, as I had intended, while I drank my coffee and turned the pages of my book with sticky fingers.
The next day, I attended an art class for the first time in years and I forgot how much fun it is to paint. There were about thirty women my age group and we met in a church hall with coffee shop attached, chatting, drinking and painting canvases - attempting to create pictures of bowls with lemons or hydrangeas in. It was such a colourful experience and I was on a high afterwards. We all managed to cover our hands with splotches of paint, plus the odd splodge on our cheeks.
So, my hands have been covered in a few different substances to usual but I have to say that 'clean dirt' such as paint and coffee is my ultimate preference to dog poo (you don't say). I will certainly make sure I keep a supply of hand sanitizer and tissues to hand for the forseeable.
Ruby Granger #44 To be or not to be pretentious, that is the subjective question.
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It seems to be A Thing at the moment; I've seen it on lots of 20-somethings who otherwise act their age.
I can't hate on it too much when I remember how horrible my feet are after a day of tights and close-toed school/work shoes!
Ruby's definitely her mother's daughter.
Both have a predictable tendency to wildly embellish or completely fabricate events for attention. With Ruby it's all her fake 72-hours-in-a-day accomplishments and pretending to be the most PRODOCKTIVE GARL HYOO AVVER LIVVED. With her mum it's the weekly occurrence of household disaster and crippling, deadly injuries that always end in no visit to the hosptial and are magically cured with a bit of rest and a cup of tea.
They're both partial to a bit of performative poverty to try to appear relatable, despite neither having to work, living in a manor home and owning several homes between them.
Neither of them appear to have any intention of getting a real job and will just exaggerate minor hobbies and busywork into full-blown, back-breaking careers (with Ruby it was her 3-hours-a-fortnight nepo job at her old school, her imaginary involvement in PONKERPOD TIBTEE, etc., with her mum it's a monthly call-in guest spot on her friend's local radio talk show).
Both are incredibly lazy and content to live in squalor, but will swear profusely that they're diligent, hard-working and obsessively clean and tidy.
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Special shout out to Clara the cleaner
omg Her mother is a complete nutcase. Apparently the apple didn't fall far from the tree. This explains so much!
After all these years of us wondering how they can live in such squalor... Turns out they enjoy the dirt
I suppose if you'd never been to her house or watched her daughters you tube videos, you might believe that she's a germophobe. One glance into that kitchen tells me that she isn't.
They do produce some crap, her and Ruby. I don't know what it is that makes Clara think people want to read what she writes/ are interested in her etc but hey ho it gives us a laugh
No no they have a cleaner. Named Clara. Mama Bones does no such cleaning! Unless you count the dishwasherI suppose if you'd never been to her house or watched her daughters you tube videos, you might believe that she's a germophobe. One glance into that kitchen tells me that she isn't.
They do produce some crap, her and Ruby. I don't know what it is that makes Clara think people want to read what she writes/ are interested in her etc but hey ho it gives us a laugh
Clara needs to be fired cause she isn't doing a good job
I don’t watch Jade’s videos normally but she made one about her visit to Oxford to see Ruby. What is all of this insufferable “casual magic” “kind soul” rubbish they both keep going on about?
Someone said it earlier in the thread but they 100% tried to spin that some random kind lady bought them the afternoon tea when it’s definitely a PR gift. Sure they might have been approached by the manager of the restaurant randomly but the narrative they’ve built around it is so fabricated.
Also the part where Jade says “I love going to my friends favourite spots rather than what’s touristy” and then she shows a clip of them in Cafe Nero. A chain that you can go to in any part of the UK…
edit:
Unsurprisingly there’s a segment that talks about the Oxford rejection. At least Jade actually reflects on the rejection and talks about how 18 year old her wasn’t right for that environment (unlike Ruby has in the past). It is weird to me that Ruby has tried to scrub out the past rejection with the “I’m living my dream” now narrative.
Someone said it earlier in the thread but they 100% tried to spin that some random kind lady bought them the afternoon tea when it’s definitely a PR gift. Sure they might have been approached by the manager of the restaurant randomly but the narrative they’ve built around it is so fabricated.
Also the part where Jade says “I love going to my friends favourite spots rather than what’s touristy” and then she shows a clip of them in Cafe Nero. A chain that you can go to in any part of the UK…
edit:
Unsurprisingly there’s a segment that talks about the Oxford rejection. At least Jade actually reflects on the rejection and talks about how 18 year old her wasn’t right for that environment (unlike Ruby has in the past). It is weird to me that Ruby has tried to scrub out the past rejection with the “I’m living my dream” now narrative.
Oh I seeeeee thank you. Well, the kitchen still looks mucky. I get that older places don't look like Mrs Hinchs place, but even so it's grotty looking.
This is all bullshit though, she’s just trying to pretend she didn’t want it after all but it still stings - especially since she’s bringing it up constantly after so many years lol
Real. I went to another uni that gets a lot of oxbridge rejects and the mentality of 'oh I don't care/I hate them/I'm better off here' only to immediately apply for a postgraduate there is HUGE. Never understood it myself - a lot of their departments are only good if you want connections (which Lazy, sorry, I meant Lady Bones is going to have to rely on, let's be honest here) and it seems to mostly benefit those who are good at forging social connections. Everyone I know who went for their subject who did their postgraduate (if they chose to do one) degree went elsewhere. Always a weird one...
We have a day in the varied and exciting life of an AXEFUD Masters student over on tt, set to audio from The Secret History: ”She was still a girl, a slight, lovely girl…” I need to physically hold down my eyeballs so they don’t roll right out of my head 
edit: the more I look at it, the more I’m reminded of how someone compared her default fake smile to Wallace & Gromit, and that somehow makes the cringy audio so much funnier
also I came across a recent video of hers on yt this morning and she was talking about Joseph Swetnam’s pamphlet The Arraignment of Women, only she keps saying ”sweet man” and ”arrangement”
edit: the more I look at it, the more I’m reminded of how someone compared her default fake smile to Wallace & Gromit, and that somehow makes the cringy audio so much funnieralso I came across a recent video of hers on yt this morning and she was talking about Joseph Swetnam’s pamphlet The Arraignment of Women, only she keps saying ”sweet man” and ”arrangement”
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That head tilt in every photo makes me irrationally angry
The 3rd pic looks especially creepy lol felt like her head was going to be keep tilting and tilting
Why would anyone judge her for using Google Books, am I missing something?
Also, did she crack the screen of her computer? possibly from lugging it back home and then back to uni during winter break?
Why would anyone judge her for using Google Books, am I missing something?
Also, did she crack the screen of her computer? possibly from lugging it back home and then back to uni during winter break?
It wouldn’t surprise me considering she never looks after her belongings, but sometimes my laptop screen just photographs like that even though there aren’t any scratches/cracks on it, so it might also just be that.
I’m just going to leave this here, but I would also like to share the tip on removing coffee stains that randomly popped up in my social media just now (context: we had an election this past weekend and ”election coffee” is something you MUST do after voting) - coffee stains are best removed by 1) blotting the coffee out with a kitchen towel and 2) rubbing with a wet sponge and a bit of dish detergent.
Absolutely no need to let your coffee stay on your clothes over the weekend, as Roobee suggests in her diary entry below. Reminder: Roodassbeech is a sloppy goblin of a person, whereas you are not. You have a choice. Use your agency and wear clean clothes. Coffee stains can, and should, be removed.
Absolutely no need to let your coffee stay on your clothes over the weekend, as Roobee suggests in her diary entry below. Reminder: Roodassbeech is a sloppy goblin of a person, whereas you are not. You have a choice. Use your agency and wear clean clothes. Coffee stains can, and should, be removed.
I'm guessing she's put so much emphasis on her incredibly fake "OIY'M YONLY INTRASSTED IN OWWWLD-FASHIONED THINGS!" persona and the "ONROIVALLED BEEYEUUUTEEEA OF THE PHYSICOL BOCK AS OBJACKT" routine that in her mind she's created some imaginary backlash that'll unfold in the comments if she were to (GASP!) read a digital book.
In reality, nobody's going to be judging anyone for reading on a convenient platform to them and anyone with sense will assume she's not likely to read any book, regardless of their form.
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Can I just say TMI?Mummy Bones has graced us with another tall tale of domestic disaster and assures us that - just like Ruby - she's JANUINELY A JARMAPHYOBE, HONNASTLEE while seemingly going out of her way to jam her hands into dog tit:
Dirty Hands
(When life gives you lemons, squeeze them into your hand sanitizer...)I am a bit of a germophobe. Even before the pandemic, I always carried a mini bottle of hand sanitizer with me at all times. So, this week has been a bit of a reminder of why I still do...I was walking my lovely Lola on one...
I am a bit of a germophobe. Even before the pandemic, I always carried a mini bottle of hand sanitizer with me at all times. So, this week has been a bit of a reminder of why I still do...
I was walking my lovely Lola on one of our daily walks when she decided to do her morning poo. I rustled in my pocket and produced a flimsy bag to pick up the steaming deposit. The only thing was that as I was scooping up the poop, the side of my hand got smeared with the stuff. Freaking out, I wiped the debris on some nearby grass, before double bagging it and putting it in my 'warming pocket'. I had decided to dedicate my outer left pocket of my coat to storing bagged up dog poo until I could dispose of it in a bin.
Two days later and exactly the same thing happened but this time, I only had one bag with me and, luckily, some tissues. I wrapped tissue around the overflowing, undone bag and held my parcel upright during the remainder of my walk - looking like I was holding a small baby's soiled nappy. I got home, threw it in the bin and scrubbed my hands red raw clean. The next day, I invested in some heavy duty dog poo bags for future events such as these.
Later in the week, I popped into the supermarket to pick up some lunch bits en route to my friend's house but as I had time on my hands, I grabbed a takeaway coffee. I put the shopping on the passenger seat of my car, balanced the coffee cup on the central bit and gingerly shut the door before walking around to the driver's seat. I was looking forward to ten minutes sipping my coffee and reading a chapter of my book before I was on my merry way. In the time I opened the car door and sat down, I had forgotten about the coffee (brainfog alert) and managed to swipe my elbow into it and spill over the car seat covers. Argh. Luckily, it did have a lid on so not all was spilt - just a stream of hot liquid from the hole in the top. I wiped up the mess with a tissue and tried to rectify the situation but not feeling like Sarah Jessica-Parker, as I had intended, while I drank my coffee and turned the pages of my book with sticky fingers.
The next day, I attended an art class for the first time in years and I forgot how much fun it is to paint. There were about thirty women my age group and we met in a church hall with coffee shop attached, chatting, drinking and painting canvases - attempting to create pictures of bowls with lemons or hydrangeas in. It was such a colourful experience and I was on a high afterwards. We all managed to cover our hands with splotches of paint, plus the odd splodge on our cheeks.
So, my hands have been covered in a few different substances to usual but I have to say that 'clean dirt' such as paint and coffee is my ultimate preference to dog poo (you don't say). I will certainly make sure I keep a supply of hand sanitizer and tissues to hand for the forseeable.
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Anyway came across this short on Youtube and I had to leave it here
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