Ruby Granger #36 Pumpkin Bread Activity

[anakinskywalkers]

If she’s got in then good on her for breaking out of the Three Rejecteers. Can’t wait for Jack and Jade’s self-pity and passive aggressive posts “My casual magic of the day is hearing that my friend got into Oxford, I’m so happy about it, can’t you tell I’m so happy and not bitter in the slightest ”

 

[gossip_guy]

But remember when the longest she made it away from her parents at uni was 3 weeks and she didn't have half as much real work to do rip mummy and daddy bones, hope you like sleeping in your van in front of the college every weekend

Her family house is an hour away from Oxford, so I doubt she'll be staying on campus. This time she'll just be expecting mummy and daddy to make 4 trips a day back and forth from uni all week to drop her off and collect her.

"This was just the most efficient way," she'll say of the chauffeur arrangement. Meanwhile Daddy Bones will get his lawyer started on the divorce papers to get the hell away from this nightmare.

 

[CatCafe234]

Her family house is an hour away from Oxford, so I doubt she'll be staying on campus. This time she'll just be expecting mummy and daddy to make 4 trips a day back and forth from uni all week to drop her off and collect her.

"This was just the most efficient way," she'll say of the chauffeur arrangement. Meanwhile Daddy Bones will get his lawyer started on the divorce papers to get the hell away from this nightmare.

Isn’t there a rule about living within 25 miles of the uni for Oxbridge? Years ago, I thought about applying for the MEd at Cambridge and one of the things that put me off was the rule about living within a specific distance of the university and I realised how much more expensive that was going to make it. Maybe it’s changed post-Covid but that seems like something Ruby maybe hasn’t thought of.

 

[Griftwood]

Isn’t there a rule about living within 25 miles of the uni for Oxbridge? Years ago, I thought about applying for the MEd at Cambridge and one of the things that put me off was the rule about living within a specific distance of the university and I realised how much more expensive that was going to make it. Maybe it’s changed post-Covid but that seems like something Ruby maybe hasn’t thought of.

Same for Oxford.

 

[gossip_guy]

Randolph has been posting weird-ass tiktoks in an attempt to seem quirky or feign having a personality idk… and maybe I’m just sleep-deprived but this made me laugh
View attachment 1991030

"Oiy johst wanted tyoo rip off sommone alse's oiydeas based on moiy nyeu JANUINE lovv of Wass Handington - HONNASTLY moiy favoratt diracktorr.

Oiy lovv awhl of his films, like The Regal Tinnypawns, Beetle Pocket, Oiy Love Dogs and The Fantabulous Sir Badger. But most aspashiouly, my varry myost favourat Wils Mandleston myoovie is Roshmwoar, which is like Matilda but with a boy, syo not as gud as Matilda but still varry gud.

Oiy JANUINELY watched all of these films boht moiy thwaots on tham are proyvit, syo please ask nyo farrther qwasschons. Boiy popular demahnd, oiy will gyo back tyoo making moiy yooshual contant of wrinkled clyothes oiy gwot for free in ondeclared ads fwaor Misspah Teena."

Isn’t there a rule about living within 25 miles of the uni for Oxbridge? Years ago, I thought about applying for the MEd at Cambridge and one of the things that put me off was the rule about living within a specific distance of the university and I realised how much more expensive that was going to make it. Maybe it’s changed post-Covid but that seems like something Ruby maybe hasn’t thought of.

Looks like it's still the case. Ruby would never survive.

But it would not shock me at all if Ruby and/or her parents just rented another home in Oxford that she has no intention of living in and did everything possible to get around this. She couldn't stay in Exeter for a full week, and that was a familiar place with her BASST FRAND, she'll break down immediately at Oxford.

 

[paulpercy666]

Isn’t there a rule about living within 25 miles of the uni for Oxbridge? Years ago, I thought about applying for the MEd at Cambridge and one of the things that put me off was the rule about living within a specific distance of the university and I realised how much more expensive that was going to make it. Maybe it’s changed post-Covid but that seems like something Ruby maybe hasn’t thought of.

Not to worry - Mother Granger is unemployed and afaik you can evade tax from anywhere in the country so Daddy Bones is under no obligation to stay at home. They can move in with Roobs

 

[irunforfun]

Yup, that rule around residency still exists. You can apply to live outside of the 25 miles “for good reason” but I can’t imagine any permissible reason Ruboid could offer, especially as she cannot drive and even to get the train to Oxford, she needs to be driven to the station, so it’s therefore not really a viable option. They only allow a 500 word explanation of why you’re requesting it too and Ruboid+words=/= sense

 

[gossip_guy]

Yup, that rule around residency still exists. You can apply to live outside of the 25 miles “for good reason” but I can’t imagine any permissible reason Ruboid could offer, especially as she cannot drive and even to get the train to Oxford, she needs to be driven to the station, so it’s therefore not really a viable option. They only allow a 500 word explanation of why you’re requesting it too and Ruboid+words=/= sense

I imagine her dubious crippling phobia of home invasion will make a sudden and convenient reappearance so she can get a doctor's note from a therapist to avoid campus.

 

[laynelo_]

I don’t think the 25 mile rule will bother her. She’s clearly willing to give up anything (mainly her dignity, i.e., the embarrassing how I dealt with Oxford rejection videos) to go to Oxford even if that means leaving the comfort of her filthy den.

I’m interested to see how quick she changes her stance on grades not being important any longer (conveniently made after she attained a first class degree at a RG uni). If she gets any grades less than a first - which is the only acceptable grade in her mind - then she’ll double down on the grades aren’t important stance but she even gets a sliver of a first it’ll be bombarded in our faces. Alongside, of course, ‘Oxford student’ in every video title.

I wonder how she’ll announce her acceptance as we all know if she gets rejected I don’t think her ego would even allow her to announce publicly again she got a knock back from her dream uni.

 

[gisellejoly]

"Oiy johst wanted tyoo rip off sommone alse's oiydeas based on moiy nyeu JANUINE lovv of Wass Handington - HONNASTLY moiy favoratt diracktorr.

Oiy lovv awhl of his films, like The Regal Tinnypawns, Beetle Pocket, Oiy Love Dogs and The Fantabulous Sir Badger. But most aspashiouly, my varry myost favourat Wils Mandleston myoovie is Roshmwoar, which is like Matilda but with a boy, syo not as gud as Matilda but still varry gud.

Oiy JANUINELY watched all of these films boht moiy thwaots on tham are proyvit, syo please ask nyo farrther qwasschons. Boiy popular demahnd, oiy will gyo back tyoo making moiy yooshual contant of wrinkled clyothes oiy gwot for free in ondeclared ads fwaor Misspah Teena."



View attachment 1991296

Looks like it's still the case. Ruby would never survive.

But it would not shock me at all if Ruby and/or her parents just rented another home in Oxford that she has no intention of living in and did everything possible to get around this. She couldn't stay in Exeter for a full week, and that was a familiar place with her BASST FRAND, she'll break down immediately at Oxford.

In her first year Ruby lived in a self contained studio flat on campus and seemed to do just fine, probably because she didn’t have to deal with flatmates. Oxford accommodation is quite spacious and private compared to regular uni accommodation (a lot of rooms have armchairs and coffee tables, for example) so I think she’ll be able to retreat to her room and keep to herself just fine lol. And she’ll love the fancy dinners they have 2x a week in the college because it’ll make her feel like she’s in Hogwarts, so she’ll brave social interaction for that experience

 

[rubysdeadfly]

The bullies behind her call her pick-me Parker since she always puts her hand up

my head canon is that they're all actually feminist icons and are calling her out for her internally misogynistic pick me girl behaviour

 

[figgypud]

She could easily get around the 25 mile rule by staying in Oxford when she has lectures and running home whenever she doesn't.

"Aaaand it was my mum's friend's son's cousin's girlfriend's parrot's barthday syo I did gyo hyome this weekand aha!"

 

[gossip_guy]

Ngl the only reason I want Ruby to get accepted is coz I know how triggered the other head studytubers like Jade and Jack will be lmfao

Imagine her getting accepted into Oxford the same week Jack is absolutely buried in controversy. After years of her being the one to cause herself non-stop bad PR while Jack gets endless success and a Waterstones deal, this'd be like Christmas come early for her.

 

[yeya]

Imagine her getting accepted into Oxford the same week Jack is absolutely buried in controversy. After years of her being the one to cause herself non-stop bad PR while Jack gets endless success and a Waterstones deal, this'd be like Christmas come early for her.

What’s happened with Jack?

 

[gossip_guy]

What’s happened with Jack?

Spoiler: OT

He set up a membership subscription thing on YouTube where fans could pay him £6 a month (he initially tried to charge £20 a month until he got wrecked by backlash).

For that cash, fans would get access to a Discord and a few other dubious perks (an exclusive monthly Q&A video, a readalong livestream, he'd reply to 40 comments (how generous!), provide daily questions in Discord and he'd buy a few people a month a book from their Amazon wishlists).

He took their money for 3-4 months without delivering on any of what he promised. He ghosted the Discord, offered a few dubious excuses when subscribers tried to address it with him in private, then ignored them all for weeks.

One of the subscribers got sick of it and took the issue to Reddit and it blew up over the last few days. Jack has been furiously deleting negative comments, accusing a YouTube channel who very diplomatically discussed the scandal of "platforming hatred" against him and generally he's handled it all in the most Ruby-esque way possible. It's a trainwreck.

 

[StatusWoe]

At first, I totally believing that Ruby wrote that, but then it became clear that this person had actually read at least two books, so there's no way it could be Ruby.

I think it was written by Mother Granger.

If I had to read this thesis worthy review on Erimentha then you lot do too!
I’ve numbered the THIRTEEN screenshots in case they upload out of offer… may the odds be ever in your favour.

I read all of them and would like a prize. It was such a full review. Too full.

 

[Griftwood]

bestie I’m sure Hemingway used more than two fingers and didn’t actually bleed

 

[Calabria]

But remember when the longest she made it away from her parents at uni was 3 weeks and she didn't have half as much real work to do rip mummy and daddy bones, hope you like sleeping in your van in front of the college every weekend

Nah, Mummy and Daddy Bones have also applied. They’re going to be in every lecture and tute with her “just in case”.

The Bones Family do Mansfield College!
---

I think it was written by Mother Granger.



I read all of them and would like a prize. It was such a full review. Too full.

You get … the pride of knowing you clearly have better focus than me, as i couldn’t make it past the first page

genuinely think that person might have a Rubella shrine. Run Ruby Run!

 

[LostGhosts]

Erimentha Parker Chapter 9 (turns out the last two chapters were both called Chapter 8) - Not much actually happens in this chapter but we are treated to some amazing quotes

Plot -
- Ruby reads through all the emails sent to her from older students and staff calling her rude and inappropriate
- She looks at her sent emails and sees there have been lots of emails sent to students and teachers. This included telling someone they look like a pig, "a horrible photography of a bloody scar" and an email to Miss Solomon saying she is her best friend in the whole wide world
- Ruby is horrified, not only because these are unformal and humiliating. She decides not to tell her parents and just cries
- The next day at school Ruby goes to find her form tutor to explain she didn't send the emails. They talk to another teacher. The teachers also agree to not tell Ruby's parents (this would never happen in real life, they would have a duty to tell the parents wouldn't they?)


Quotes -
- "I sit staring at the screen. Its brightness bores into my frontal lobe, inducing a slight headache and I close my eyes to escape the light"
- Upon reading another email calling her out for being rude Ruby says "I resist the urge to correct the girls grammar, knowing it is neither the time nor the place"
- "Telling them would raise a barrel of difficult questions and would damage my painstakingly crafted persona"
- "According to www.anxietyscentre.com, you sweat a lot when you are stressed and this is certainly true tonight"
- "When I look in the mirror the next morning, the tender epithelial tissue under my eyes has been bruised violet"
- When talking about her dry lips she says "They hang repulsively with slimy petroleum gel and the distinct odour of cocoa butter"
- "All I can taste is the flavourless whiteness of the milk"
- "His nose hairs quiver in the artificial breeze"
- "A brief shudder of hope rushes up my vertebral column"

 

[kittykatherine]

”his nose hairs quiver in the artificial breeze” stoopppp it I’m wheezing

Erimentha Parker Chapter 9 (turns out the last two chapters were both called Chapter 8) - Not much actually happens in this chapter but we are treated to some amazing quotes

Plot -
- Ruby reads through all the emails sent to her from older students and staff calling her rude and inappropriate
- She looks at her sent emails and sees there have been lots of emails sent to students and teachers. This included telling someone they look like a pig, "a horrible photography of a bloody scar" and an email to Miss Solomon saying she is her best friend in the whole wide world
- Ruby is horrified, not only because these are unformal and humiliating. She decides not to tell her parents and just cries
- The next day at school Ruby goes to find her form tutor to explain she didn't send the emails. They talk to another teacher. The teachers also agree to not tell Ruby's parents (this would never happen in real life, they would have a duty to tell the parents wouldn't they?)


Quotes -
- "I sit staring at the screen. Its brightness bores into my frontal lobe, inducing a slight headache and I close my eyes to escape the light"
- Upon reading another email calling her out for being rude Ruby says "I resist the urge to correct the girls grammar, knowing it is neither the time nor the place"
- "Telling them would raise a barrel of difficult questions and would damage my painstakingly crafted persona"
- "According to www.anxietyscentre.com, you sweat a lot when you are stressed and this is certainly true tonight"
- "When I look in the mirror the next morning, the tender epithelial tissue under my eyes has been bruised violet"
- When talking about her dry lips she says "They hang repulsively with slimy petroleum gel and the distinct odour of cocoa butter"
- "All I can taste is the flavourless whiteness of the milk"
- "His nose hairs quiver in the artificial breeze"
- "A brief shudder of hope rushes up my vertebral column"