Her family house is an hour away from Oxford, so I doubt she'll be staying on campus. This time she'll just be expecting mummy and daddy to make 4 trips a day back and forth from uni all week to drop her off and collect her.But remember when the longest she made it away from her parents at uni was 3 weeks and she didn't have half as much real work to dorip mummy and daddy bones, hope you like sleeping in your van in front of the college every weekend
Isn’t there a rule about living within 25 miles of the uni for Oxbridge? Years ago, I thought about applying for the MEd at Cambridge and one of the things that put me off was the rule about living within a specific distance of the university and I realised how much more expensive that was going to make it. Maybe it’s changed post-Covid but that seems like something Ruby maybe hasn’t thought of.Her family house is an hour away from Oxford, so I doubt she'll be staying on campus. This time she'll just be expecting mummy and daddy to make 4 trips a day back and forth from uni all week to drop her off and collect her.
"This was just the most efficient way," she'll say of the chauffeur arrangement. Meanwhile Daddy Bones will get his lawyer started on the divorce papers to get the hell away from this nightmare.
Same for Oxford.Isn’t there a rule about living within 25 miles of the uni for Oxbridge? Years ago, I thought about applying for the MEd at Cambridge and one of the things that put me off was the rule about living within a specific distance of the university and I realised how much more expensive that was going to make it. Maybe it’s changed post-Covid but that seems like something Ruby maybe hasn’t thought of.
"Oiy johst wanted tyoo rip off sommone alse's oiydeas based on moiy nyeu JANUINE lovv of Wass Handington - HONNASTLY moiy favoratt diracktorr.Randolph has been posting weird-ass tiktoks in an attempt to seem quirky or feign having a personality idk… and maybe I’m just sleep-deprived but this made me laugh
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Isn’t there a rule about living within 25 miles of the uni for Oxbridge? Years ago, I thought about applying for the MEd at Cambridge and one of the things that put me off was the rule about living within a specific distance of the university and I realised how much more expensive that was going to make it. Maybe it’s changed post-Covid but that seems like something Ruby maybe hasn’t thought of.
Not to worry - Mother Granger is unemployed and afaik you can evade tax from anywhere in the country so Daddy Bones is under no obligation to stay at home. They can move in with RoobsIsn’t there a rule about living within 25 miles of the uni for Oxbridge? Years ago, I thought about applying for the MEd at Cambridge and one of the things that put me off was the rule about living within a specific distance of the university and I realised how much more expensive that was going to make it. Maybe it’s changed post-Covid but that seems like something Ruby maybe hasn’t thought of.
I imagine her dubious crippling phobia of home invasion will make a sudden and convenient reappearance so she can get a doctor's note from a therapist to avoid campus.Yup, that rule around residency still exists. You can apply to live outside of the 25 miles “for good reason” but I can’t imagine any permissible reason Ruboid could offer, especially as she cannot drive and even to get the train to Oxford, she needs to be driven to the station, so it’s therefore not really a viable option. They only allow a 500 word explanation of why you’re requesting it too and Ruboid+words=/= sense
In her first year Ruby lived in a self contained studio flat on campus and seemed to do just fine, probably because she didn’t have to deal with flatmates. Oxford accommodation is quite spacious and private compared to regular uni accommodation (a lot of rooms have armchairs and coffee tables, for example) so I think she’ll be able to retreat to her room and keep to herself just fine lol. And she’ll love the fancy dinners they have 2x a week in the college because it’ll make her feel like she’s in Hogwarts, so she’ll brave social interaction for that experience"Oiy johst wanted tyoo rip off sommone alse's oiydeas based on moiy nyeu JANUINE lovv of Wass Handington - HONNASTLY moiy favoratt diracktorr.
Oiy lovv awhl of his films, like The Regal Tinnypawns, Beetle Pocket, Oiy Love Dogs and The Fantabulous Sir Badger. But most aspashiouly, my varry myost favourat Wils Mandleston myoovie is Roshmwoar, which is like Matilda but with a boy, syo not as gud as Matilda but still varry gud.
Oiy JANUINELY watched all of these films boht moiy thwaots on tham are proyvit, syo please ask nyo farrther qwasschons. Boiy popular demahnd, oiy will gyo back tyoo making moiy yooshual contant of wrinkled clyothes oiy gwot for free in ondeclared ads fwaor Misspah Teena."
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Looks like it's still the case. Ruby would never survive.
But it would not shock me at all if Ruby and/or her parents just rented another home in Oxford that she has no intention of living in and did everything possible to get around this. She couldn't stay in Exeter for a full week, and that was a familiar place with her BASST FRAND, she'll break down immediately at Oxford.
my head canon is that they're all actually feminist icons and are calling her out for her internally misogynistic pick me girl behaviourThe bullies behind her call her pick-me Parker since she always puts her hand up
Imagine her getting accepted into Oxford the same week Jack is absolutely buried in controversy. After years of her being the one to cause herself non-stop bad PR while Jack gets endless success and a Waterstones deal, this'd be like Christmas come early for her.Ngl the only reason I want Ruby to get accepted is coz I know how triggered the other dickhead studytubers like Jade and Jack will be lmfao
What’s happened with Jack?Imagine her getting accepted into Oxford the same week Jack is absolutely buried in controversy. After years of her being the one to cause herself non-stop bad PR while Jack gets endless success and a Waterstones deal, this'd be like Christmas come early for her.
What’s happened with Jack?
I think it was written by Mother Granger.At first, I totally believing that Ruby wrote that, but then it became clear that this person had actually read at least two books, so there's no way it could be Ruby.
I read all of them and would like a prize.If I had to read this thesis worthy review on Erimentha then you lot do too!
I’ve numbered the THIRTEEN screenshots in case they upload out of offer… may the odds be ever in your favour.
Nah, Mummy and Daddy Bones have also applied. They’re going to be in every lecture and tute with her “just in case”.But remember when the longest she made it away from her parents at uni was 3 weeks and she didn't have half as much real work to dorip mummy and daddy bones, hope you like sleeping in your van in front of the college every weekend
You get … the pride of knowing you clearly have better focus than me, as i couldn’t make it past the first pageI think it was written by Mother Granger.
I read all of them and would like a prize.It was such a full review. Too full.
Erimentha Parker Chapter 9 (turns out the last two chapters were both called Chapter 8) - Not much actually happens in this chapter but we are treated to some amazing quotes
Plot -
- Ruby reads through all the emails sent to her from older students and staff calling her rude and inappropriate
- She looks at her sent emails and sees there have been lots of emails sent to students and teachers. This included telling someone they look like a pig, "a horrible photography of a bloody scar" and an email to Miss Solomon saying she is her best friend in the whole wide world
- Ruby is horrified, not only because these are unformal and humiliating. She decides not to tell her parents and just cries
- The next day at school Ruby goes to find her form tutor to explain she didn't send the emails. They talk to another teacher. The teachers also agree to not tell Ruby's parents (this would never happen in real life, they would have a duty to tell the parents wouldn't they?)
Quotes -
- "I sit staring at the screen. Its brightness bores into my frontal lobe, inducing a slight headache and I close my eyes to escape the light"
- Upon reading another email calling her out for being rude Ruby says "I resist the urge to correct the girls grammar, knowing it is neither the time nor the place"
- "Telling them would raise a barrel of difficult questions and would damage my painstakingly crafted persona"
- "According to www.anxietyscentre.com, you sweat a lot when you are stressed and this is certainly true tonight"
- "When I look in the mirror the next morning, the tender epithelial tissue under my eyes has been bruised violet"
- When talking about her dry lips she says "They hang repulsively with slimy petroleum gel and the distinct odour of cocoa butter"
- "All I can taste is the flavourless whiteness of the milk"
- "His nose hairs quiver in the artificial breeze"
- "A brief shudder of hope rushes up my vertebral column"
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