RuB or not RuB
Ruby Granger #36 Pumpkin Bread Activity
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the fact that she markets these as
night routines which implies they are done…routinely… except every week she apparently does different things 
why doesn’t she just call them nighttime vlogs or something idek, she’s just so obsessed with “routine” videos despite evidently not knowing what that word meansI have decided to suffer for your enjoyment and re-read Erimentha's to do list, and because I am nice I am going to share some thoughts and quotes with you all
Chapter 1:
Plot -
The book opens with Ruby, I mean Erimentha writing a to do list before her first day of school, and then reading a little princess (I completely forgot how much of a self fan fiction this was by Ruby). Our first big difference is poor Erimentha is POOR, she is on a scholarship. But this girl has been reading the news every day since she was in year 4 so ya know she is smart. Our main character is sad she wasn't born in a time of world wars, poverty and disease because now her stupid school doesn't do boarders and she wants midnight feasts and sleepovers. She also has a scrapbook which contains every article, photo and review she could find online, oh and a photo of a random ex pupil who was there in the 40s who she tried to contact. We find out Erimentha spent the whole summer on BBC bitesize and spoke to a "real-life" pupil to prepare for the academic year
Quotes -
- "Even though I can't always understand everything I understand what adults mean when they talk about constituencies and defence ministers and council tax" (I think this was meant to be a flex of how smart she is????)
- "I am 'Intelligent beyond my years'" (and very humble as well ...)
My mental health is already a mess and I don't think this book will help matters but someone has got to do it
Chapter 1:
Plot -
The book opens with Ruby, I mean Erimentha writing a to do list before her first day of school, and then reading a little princess (I completely forgot how much of a self fan fiction this was by Ruby). Our first big difference is poor Erimentha is POOR, she is on a scholarship. But this girl has been reading the news every day since she was in year 4 so ya know she is smart. Our main character is sad she wasn't born in a time of world wars, poverty and disease because now her stupid school doesn't do boarders and she wants midnight feasts and sleepovers. She also has a scrapbook which contains every article, photo and review she could find online, oh and a photo of a random ex pupil who was there in the 40s who she tried to contact. We find out Erimentha spent the whole summer on BBC bitesize and spoke to a "real-life" pupil to prepare for the academic year
Quotes -
- "Even though I can't always understand everything I understand what adults mean when they talk about constituencies and defence ministers and council tax" (I think this was meant to be a flex of how smart she is????)
- "I am 'Intelligent beyond my years'" (and very humble as well ...)
My mental health is already a mess and I don't think this book will help matters but someone has got to do it
I could totally see Ruby saying this to herself as a 22 year old
Chapter 2 of Erimentha Parker. This is all I can cope with for now:
Plot -
I am going to start just calling our main character Ruby as its easier to write and quite frankly is the truth. Ruby wakes up in her single bed and Ruby thinks back to when she was offered a double bed by her parents and refused because she is obviously a child and god forbid she has a big bed. She instead asked if her brother Nathan could have one and recalled having to apologise to a shopkeeper because he jumped on the bed and she clearly hates Martha, I mean Nathan. And her parents suspired her (a 11 year old I think???) to a filing cabinet ... Spends a while waffling on about the view from her window, but fails to mention the family of dead flies on her windowsill. Mother granger decides to drive her to school on her first day and she has her backpack filled with post it notes, a poetry anthology, a Malory towers book, a Florence Nightingale biography and her book of reminders (which has 15 reminders for today!). Mother Granger asks Ruby if she wants to come in with her but Ruby says no. Not because she wants to appear cool, but because she memorised the map of the school over the summer. Another girl comes in the reception and her mother says she needs to give some medication to the Nurse. Ruby notes that the child looks healthy enough and remembers a time she badly sprained an ankle playing tennis and had to take ibuprofen for days (I really honestly have no idea what the point of any of this was, well so far the whole book has been pointless).
Ruby gets taken to her form class where we meet Mr Aldridge a history Teacher, who will soon be exposed to Ruby and never mentally recover from their interactions. Ruby noes how there is a timeline across the walls but how he did a tit job as the photographs are "computer generated and pixelated" so she makes a note to remake it because obviously something made by her is far better than what was probably a class project that lots of people were proud of. Ruby then drools over him a bit because he went to Cambodia and he is "clearly very cultural" and she writes down Cambodia on her to do list so she can pester him about it later. Honestly things begin to sound a little bit dodgy as she tells everyone a fact, and Mr Aldridge said he did know that so she found herself "getting a little hot". They get given a PowerPoint on friendship and problems they may experience but Ruby finds it pointless as she is already an expert in friendship from having read friendship self help books. Ruby also has her first interaction with our evil vilin of the story Kimberleigh. The two girls clash because Ruby thinks two girls skirts are "frightfully short and Kiberleigh says having them that long is "social suicide"
Quotes -
- "When I turned ten, my parent said that I could exchange my wrought iron single bed for a double one ... I had refused the offer, knowing it would be a complete waste of money. I don't seem to take up much room when I sleep; either I curl up in a ball or lay with my hands by my sides, as straight as a 2B pencil"
- "I get changed more slowly than usual, making sure my shirt is tucked in, my skirt is exactly one inch below my kneecap and my knee-high green socks are even"
- "I close my eyes to the morning and say a mental hello to the large oak tree just outside my window"
- "I always make sure it is filled with clean water so that I can pretend every morning that I was born in the nineteenth century"
- " [Florence Nightingale] is one of my greatest inspirations, after J. K. Rowling, Barak Obama and Queen Elizabeth I"
- "Her shoes are just as sensible as they were last May: brown penny loafers not too different from the ones I am wearing myself"
- " I can feel [her eyes] boring into the back of my neck like UV sun rays on unprotected skin"
Plot -
I am going to start just calling our main character Ruby as its easier to write and quite frankly is the truth. Ruby wakes up in her single bed and Ruby thinks back to when she was offered a double bed by her parents and refused because she is obviously a child and god forbid she has a big bed. She instead asked if her brother Nathan could have one and recalled having to apologise to a shopkeeper because he jumped on the bed and she clearly hates Martha, I mean Nathan. And her parents suspired her (a 11 year old I think???) to a filing cabinet ... Spends a while waffling on about the view from her window, but fails to mention the family of dead flies on her windowsill. Mother granger decides to drive her to school on her first day and she has her backpack filled with post it notes, a poetry anthology, a Malory towers book, a Florence Nightingale biography and her book of reminders (which has 15 reminders for today!). Mother Granger asks Ruby if she wants to come in with her but Ruby says no. Not because she wants to appear cool, but because she memorised the map of the school over the summer. Another girl comes in the reception and her mother says she needs to give some medication to the Nurse. Ruby notes that the child looks healthy enough and remembers a time she badly sprained an ankle playing tennis and had to take ibuprofen for days (I really honestly have no idea what the point of any of this was, well so far the whole book has been pointless).
Ruby gets taken to her form class where we meet Mr Aldridge a history Teacher, who will soon be exposed to Ruby and never mentally recover from their interactions. Ruby noes how there is a timeline across the walls but how he did a tit job as the photographs are "computer generated and pixelated" so she makes a note to remake it because obviously something made by her is far better than what was probably a class project that lots of people were proud of. Ruby then drools over him a bit because he went to Cambodia and he is "clearly very cultural" and she writes down Cambodia on her to do list so she can pester him about it later. Honestly things begin to sound a little bit dodgy as she tells everyone a fact, and Mr Aldridge said he did know that so she found herself "getting a little hot". They get given a PowerPoint on friendship and problems they may experience but Ruby finds it pointless as she is already an expert in friendship from having read friendship self help books. Ruby also has her first interaction with our evil vilin of the story Kimberleigh. The two girls clash because Ruby thinks two girls skirts are "frightfully short and Kiberleigh says having them that long is "social suicide"
Quotes -
- "When I turned ten, my parent said that I could exchange my wrought iron single bed for a double one ... I had refused the offer, knowing it would be a complete waste of money. I don't seem to take up much room when I sleep; either I curl up in a ball or lay with my hands by my sides, as straight as a 2B pencil"
- "I get changed more slowly than usual, making sure my shirt is tucked in, my skirt is exactly one inch below my kneecap and my knee-high green socks are even"
- "I close my eyes to the morning and say a mental hello to the large oak tree just outside my window"
- "I always make sure it is filled with clean water so that I can pretend every morning that I was born in the nineteenth century"
- " [Florence Nightingale] is one of my greatest inspirations, after J. K. Rowling, Barak Obama and Queen Elizabeth I"
- "Her shoes are just as sensible as they were last May: brown penny loafers not too different from the ones I am wearing myself"
- " I can feel [her eyes] boring into the back of my neck like UV sun rays on unprotected skin"
Thanks for sharing @LostGhosts. Hope you're recovering from your ordeal.
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HALLO it's Oakbee *tree waves its branches*
Don't forget David Cameron! I just knew Mary Seacole wouldn't get a look in...
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Who goes to sleep in a shower?
Are we cruising towards an Oxford era?!
More like an Oxford LARP era.
oh my god she’s been accepted hasn’t she
More content for us I guess, if true
Beret over the eyebrows, always a good look. She looks like a smug toadstool.
Looks like melted candlewax.
Ruby better watch out if this guy keeps it up.Somebody give Rubes some 
so she can cut off those dead ends.
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so she can cut off those dead ends.---
Oh help. Here we go.. uploads by Rubes..My morning routine as a post-grad at University of Oxford, my 28 & a half hour day study routine at the University of Oxford, making tea as a post-grad at the University of Oxford using my post grad mug, moving into my room as a post-gradulate English student at the University of Oxford, lighting candles and collecting dead flies at UoO, my annual bed linen changing as a post-grad, trying to make friends as an introverted post grad, my night time routine updated in my first week as a post grad, coping without Ma Bones as a post grad, how to be a productive as a post. grad, finding a new Blakeney as a newbee at Oxford, going home for a long weekend (lasting 5 weeks) as a post grad and finally why I left Oxford to pursue a life as a 2b pencil. The last idea is a possibility the others, I think, more probabilities.
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If Ruby got into Oxford, I think we would know immediately. I don't think she could contain herself and refrain from announcing it to the entire world. She has no friends. Who else is she going to celebrate than herself looking in a mirror? Looking at herself in a camera, of course. I took her recent haul as more of a continued approach to learning how to write and pretend she is living in Oxford. Because she is just not Oxford material at all.
i really want to read erimentha parks book to know exactly what's written in it, and also i feel like i would have great fun reading it, but they don't sell it here and i could not find epub for zero money anywhere on the internet... that sucks, because i am definitely not going to order it with international shipping lol.
I agree that the haul might not a solid indicator about acceptance
But she probably filmed an announcement video (of rejection or acceptance) and she will put out some teaser story on insta as soon as she finishes editing. I think shes silent now bcz doesnt wanna kill the hype until shes able to release the anouncement vid.
The other thing is, she hasn't actually told us all that she applied to Oxford, right? It was discovered accidentally by her leaving a visible note on one of her videos. A checklist on applying to Oxford for her Masters. She blurred it for most of the vid, but there was a quick snippet of a clip where it was not blurred. So its not like she's announced the application to Oxford, only that she hopes to do her Masters this year.
Am I on the right track?
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