Ruby Granger #36 Pumpkin Bread Activity

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She's back to moaning on TikTok about how she can't "fyocoss" at home and needs to "wahhrk" in public in order to focus. MANNY STODDIES HAVE SHOWN THAT A CHYANGE IN WAHHRKSPYACE ARE GUD FWORE FYOCOSSING!

She says she's going to write in a café and hopes this café is nice, as though she's going somewhere completely new and not just walking down the road to the café in her town, where her family have been going since childhood. What a lying little toad.

This is the same Ruby who's constantly moaning about "resistance" to sitting down and doing something or being unable to focus on anything for more than 15-30 minutes regardless of her surroundings (unless it's time to lie that she's studying or reading or writing for 48 hours straight, then her attention span magically fixes itself).

This is the same Ruby who spent half of uni passive-aggressively moaning about how much she dislikes studying in public spaces and avoiding the library. The only reason she takes her laptop out in public to pretend to "waahrk" is so that she can feel like she has an audience of everyday peons gazing in awe at her "prodocktiviteee" while they scoff on their simpleton sandwiches. That's why she hated the library - everyone was there to study and they were all smarter than Ruby.

Ruby, you have no "waahrk" to do. These "taaahsks" you apparently have are self-imposed. If you find them boring, just don't do them. If you find it a chore to write because you have no genuine interest or passion, just don't do it. It's really bleeping simple. The more you force yourself to waste all your free time doing something you don't want to do, the less you'll like it.

Most importantly, staring at your laptop screen in a slightly different place isn't going to help when your attention span and general mental faculties have been withered away by prolonged malnutrition. Try eating actual meals instead of tiny portions of nothing and 5 small desserts a day, you might find you can finally outthink a block of wood. A well-balanced diet of nutritious food = better health and improved concentration. MANNY STODDIES HAVE SHYOWN IT. Maybe spend less time pretending to be busy in cafés and more time eating a decent meal.
 
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Ugh I can’t cope with her night routine video. She makes me so annoyed. I just don’t get why she has to plan every second of her life, it’s so unhealthy.

And the part at the end where she’s like “I set my alarms the night before but it means if I’m in the wrong headspace I’ll end up going on social media!!” Like girl, so what? Is it really that big of a deal? I feel like she’s so focused on being “perfect” and it comes across sooo fake and try hard.
 
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Chapter 3 of Erimentha Parkers to do list:

Plot -
- The girls go to Geography and Ruby sits at the same table and Kimberleigh and then they all get told off because Kimberleigh was talking. Ruby nearly dies from shame
- They had to say words to do with geography to go on a mind map. Ruby basically thinks everyone else is an idiot for saying simple things like mountain and river. Ruby originally was going to comment on “the sustainable city of Curitiba” but instead decided to say Globalisation, and spends a full page of the book spouting facts no one cares about
- After class she holds her teacher hostage to give her a 16 page booklet on hurricanes she made over the summer for shits and giggles. Teacher then suggests (while probably fearing for her life) that Ruby does a presentation on this to the class
- At lunch Ruby invites an American girl round her house at the weekend so they can build a science experiment volcano together
- Ruby goes to fill up a water jug and Izzy spills water on her, causing Ruby to have to change into the spare set of clothes she brought to school
- Back in class Izzy and Kimberleigh are saying that Ruby pushed her and that's why she got water spilt on her

Quotes:
  • “I haven’t got told of since I was about five and am distraught that I have made a bad first impression”
  • “But instead of saying cheese as I had been asked to, I had been thinking very hard about how such a tremendous depression ever came to be”
  • “She takes a fountain pen from her shirt’s pocket protector which is just like the ones businessmen wear in the movies!
  • “The only one which is unsalvageable is ‘Erimentha Parker’s list of the best pencil brands”
  • “I’m not a psychopath” I say nearly in tears, “Even if I had deliberately spilt the water, which I didn’t, I don’t have the other symptoms that the DSM say are essential for a diagnosis"
 
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I mean, I kind of want her to be accepted at Oxford. The content now is getting kind of too sad to watch. In Oxford, she would at least get back on Studytube and also face actual real-life challenges she has never experienced before – in studies and otherwise. Also, that gives so much hope to others that it is possible to get into Oxbridge even as somebody clearly not that into full-on academic life without many publications, conference speeches, huge achievements etc.
 
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i really want to read erimentha parks book to know exactly what's written in it, and also i feel like i would have great fun reading it, but they don't sell it here and i could not find epub for zero money anywhere on the internet... that sucks, because i am definitely not going to order it with international shipping lol.
you could buy the ebook on amazon, read it on your device (for example, desktop kindle version). you can get a refund of the book if you give it back within 7 days.
 
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you could buy the ebook on amazon, read it on your device (for example, desktop kindle version). you can get a refund of the book if you give it back within 7 days.
I think you can only get a refund if you've read less than 10% of the book.
 
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Her new "Wes Anderson inspired" YT-short is just so annoying.
a) would never have guessed any connection to Wes Anderson, the whole "cinematography" is totally off.
b) grow up! Probably over 90% of YT-viewers are facing more problems than ever before thx to the state of the world, but yeah, baguette is happiness. I mean there is nothing wrong with noticing the little pleasures of life and making light hearted content also in troubled times. But Ruby always comes across as so incredibly tone-deaf bc she has the worldviews of a 5yo. Why cant you just say you had a nice baguette and were happy about it?

 
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I mean, I kind of want her to be accepted at Oxford. The content now is getting kind of too sad to watch. In Oxford, she would at least get back on Studytube and also face actual real-life challenges she has never experienced before – in studies and otherwise. Also, that gives so much hope to others that it is possible to get into Oxbridge even as somebody clearly not that into full-on academic life without many publications, conference speeches, huge achievements etc.
I get what you mean, but I disagree about it being something that’d give hope to others about getting into Oxford tbh. At the end of the day she has been privately educated since the age of 5, has had access to such amazing opportunities that the vast majority of young people living in the UK (and all around the world) just simply do not have. Frankly, I do think she could have achieved more by this point given how easy her life has been.
There are enough mediocre rich kids who were born with a silver spoon in every orifice doing well already, it’d give me more hope to see someone who has come from dirt, or has had loads of challenges to overcome in life getting into Oxford rather than Ruby.
 
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I've honestly had enough of these Tory kids with private educations being the face of academic establishments. Ruby is currently reading Babel and I know she's reading it for all the wrong reasons. R. F. Kuang is a woc who is documenting her struggles as an academic via a dark academia perspective (I actually met her at the Tolkien lecture and she is genuinely one of the sweetest and most amazing people to talk to) and I know Ruby is only reading it because Oxford and Dark Macadamia.
 
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Her new "Wes Anderson inspired" YT-short is just so annoying.
a) would never have guessed any connection to Wes Anderson, the whole "cinematography" is totally off.
b) grow up! Probably over 90% of YT-viewers are facing more problems than ever before thx to the state of the world, but yeah, baguette is happiness. I mean there is nothing wrong with noticing the little pleasures of life and making light hearted content also in troubled times. But Ruby always comes across as so incredibly tone-deaf bc she has the worldviews of a 5yo. Why cant you just say you had a nice baguette and were happy about it?

Oh, Christ, please don't let her ruin Wes Anderson...

She's literally never watched a Wes Anderson film in her entire life.

Wes Anderson, known for tight symmetrical framing, smooth panning shots and colourful overhead shots of carefully-arranged objects.

Ruby: "Mummy, johst wave the camera about randomly! Alsyo make shore tyooo film in portrait myode! That is hyow Wass Ahhndingson wohld dyo it! And than oiy will johst slap somm random taxt on top in a varoyity of randomly-chyosen fwonts! Johst loike moy favorat filmographer, Wells Mandington!"

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That was a comment from yesterday on her TikTok about how she can't focus because she's not in a café. She's just doing her usual thing of latching onto a reference a commenter made and trying to make it another forced part of her fake identity now. It's beyond embarrassing. God, I loathe her.
 
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Her new "Wes Anderson inspired" YT-short is just so annoying.
a) would never have guessed any connection to Wes Anderson, the whole "cinematography" is totally off.
b) grow up! Probably over 90% of YT-viewers are facing more problems than ever before thx to the state of the world, but yeah, baguette is happiness. I mean there is nothing wrong with noticing the little pleasures of life and making light hearted content also in troubled times. But Ruby always comes across as so incredibly tone-deaf bc she has the worldviews of a 5yo. Why cant you just say you had a nice baguette and were happy about it?

Aside from the "step one" (which she's stolen off another tiktoker who makes high quality, Wes Anderson esque videos) nothing about this is Wes Anderson at all
 
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"Step One on Finding Happiness" makes no sense either. This is someone who feels she's qualified to teach English.
 
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Chapter 3 of Erimentha Parkers to do list:

Plot -
- The girls go to Geography and Ruby sits at the same table and Kimberleigh and then they all get told off because Kimberleigh was talking. Ruby nearly dies from shame
- They had to say words to do with geography to go on a mind map. Ruby basically thinks everyone else is an idiot for saying simple things like mountain and river. Ruby originally was going to comment on “the sustainable city of Curitiba” but instead decided to say Globalisation, and spends a full page of the book spouting facts no one cares about
- After class she holds her teacher hostage to give her a 16 page booklet on hurricanes she made over the summer for shits and giggles. Teacher then suggests (while probably fearing for her life) that Ruby does a presentation on this to the class
- At lunch Ruby invites an American girl round her house at the weekend so they can build a science experiment volcano together
- Ruby goes to fill up a water jug and Izzy spills water on her, causing Ruby to have to change into the spare set of clothes she brought to school
- Back in class Izzy and Kimberleigh are saying that Ruby pushed her and that's why she got water spilt on her

Quotes:
  • “I haven’t got told of since I was about five and am distraught that I have made a bad first impression”
  • “But instead of saying cheese as I had been asked to, I had been thinking very hard about how such a tremendous depression ever came to be”
  • “She takes a fountain pen from her shirt’s pocket protector which is just like the ones businessmen wear in the movies!
  • “The only one which is unsalvageable is ‘Erimentha Parker’s list of the best pencil brands”
  • “I’m not a psychopath” I say nearly in tears, “Even if I had deliberately spilt the water, which I didn’t, I don’t have the other symptoms that the DSM say are essential for a diagnosis"
I greatly appreciate your service but can you please clarify for me if those quotes are genuine direct quotes or your own on-brand inventions… I don’t know what to believe anymore… she didn’t really write “Erimentha Parker’s List of the Best Pencil Brands”… did she?
 
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I greatly appreciate your service but can you please clarify for me if those quotes are genuine direct quotes or your own on-brand inventions… I don’t know what to believe anymore… she didn’t really write “Erimentha Parker’s List of the Best Pencil Brands”… did she?
Yes she did. For context when Izzy threw water on her, her to do list pad got ruined and her list of best pencil brands was stuck on top due to its importance ad that one got ruined. This is an actual thing that happened.

All the quotes are real parts of the book, and there are so many more I could include
 
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“I’m not a psychopath” I say nearly in tears, “Even if I had deliberately spilt the water, which I didn’t, I don’t have the other symptoms that the DSM say are essential for a diagnosis"
No bleeping way is this book real, actually convinced she’s trolling even writing that thinking that’s acceptable💀

Her even attempting to write children’s book is so weird to me her only frame of reference is her weird fantasy about her own childhood which as a pretentious little middle class child was far from the average childhood… if she wants to actually write a successful children’s book she’s going to need to actually interact with kids.
 
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She’s asked AI to write a poem about Oxford University in the style of Ammilee Dickinson. We plumb new depths every day.
 
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She’s asked AI to write a poem about Oxford University in the style of Ammilee Dickinson. We plumb new depths every day.
Send thoughts and prayers to her agent, whose inbox is now likely being clogged with AI-generated novel drafts about precocious Tory girls being bullied with Ruby’s name slapped on.
 
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