I'm an queer person who has written gay fanfiction for years, and consumes a lot of MLM romance - I think it's interesting that there's a perception that it's just straight women that write this and consume that media. I've definitely called my own intentions into question before because I gravitate towards MLM couples instead of WLW romance, even in mainstream literature. I think a lot of it is fetishism that's more internalised in society, and also because MLM couples were far more visible to me when I was younger than any other type of queer love. I don't think I was aware that lesbianism was actually a thing outside of a petty insult until I was in my early teens, whereas being gay was more mainstream.
For context, the main reason I continue to write gay fanfiction is because I consume a lot of media that have predominantly male characters, and therefore predominantly male relationships. For example my main fandom is JJBA, and although I headcanon most of the female characters as WLW in some way (eg. Lisa Lisa) there's not really any other present female protagonists to 'ship' them with. Media is still very male-dominated, and I think that's a big reason why MLM is overrepresented to the point of fetishism. It's more of a systemic issue rather than a problem specifically with writers and consumers, but I would urge cis straight women to pick apart how they're writing their gay relationships because, in my experience, those people are the ones with the most egregious examples of fetishism (like the majority of the Larry Stylinson or Phan fandoms lol, but shipping real people is another issue entirely).
There was a big discussion in Eve's thread before she came out as gay accusing her of queerbaiting, which was incredibly frustrating. I think there's an issue of assuming that traditionally good-looking, effeminate women or female-presenting people are straight because that's the way the male gaze is coded. I don't think it does any good to say that Ruby is or is not LGBTQ+, unless she comes out specifically saying she is one way or the other. It's an incredibly personal issue and I wouldn't want to be the contributing factor to forcing someone to come out just so they don't come across as queerbaiting or pretending to be gay when they're not. I do agree that Ruby never before expressing interest in the LGBTQ+ community in any way is telling, though. Also annoying because I would have loved to be at the Heartstopper premiere
I struggle with the concept of Ruby washing her hands a lot/too much. They live in squalor (both her family home and at uni) and she touches everything eg all the books in Waterstones. She gets on her hands and needs to wash the years-of-filth floor without a second thought. She frequently has food or other unidentifiable stuff on her hands in her vlogs and stories. I could go on. I just don’t see it.
OCD-like symptoms can be varied depending on who it is, she might have symptoms you'd expect (eg. hand-washing) but not fulfil the stereotype you're thinking of. It's got far more to it than just being clean, and you could very easily need to compulsively hand-wash but not worry about mess around you. She's got other symptoms that possibly suggest OCD or a similar anxiety disorder, such as her need to plan her essays five million times before actually writing, which could imply that she does compulsively hand wash. I understand why you wouldn't understand it, but mental illness is incredibly personal and differs from person to person, and OCD in particularly is very misrepresented in media.
(I'm not saying Ruby definitely has OCD, but
@bunnys post got me thinking, in conjunction with my best friend having OCD, so I know a lot about it and just want to try and clarify)