Ruby's already reached her deranged Secret Garden, 'gorping at all the mundanities of her backyard like she can't function because it's so beautiful' stage of living at home.
Unsurprisingly for someone obsessed with firestarting and trying to burn things down, she's most struck by the shade of brown in the bonfire. Fitting, too, because that shade of brown matches the bullshit she's coming out with.
Such a surprise that she then went onto write a book where she bombards the reader about how much better her self-insert character is compared with her "peers" and her little brother.
I can only hope the dynamic between her and Martha growing up wasn't actually like that. I'd hate to think Martha grew up thinking her identity was "the not-academic daughter" because of Ruby deliberately and repeatedly calling attention to her excessive studiousness in an effort to set herself apart from Martha.
Ruby's back after an unannounced, unexplained hiatus (it's JANUINELY not because her dissertation, her influencer career and her academic prospects are all crumbling around her, what made you think such TARRABLE things?!) and...it's a routine video.
During her time off, Ruby has evidently taken a brief moment to REFLACKT on the stale, repetitive and indescribably incompetent filmmaking and editing techniques, as she starts this "new" video off with a different style than usual.
She starts out with a preview of all the wonders we'll see in this very video, like those movie trailers that show you a mini teaser for the short trailer you're already about to watch. The audio levels are a shitshow even in this section, and she left ambient background noise in some clips, not in others, and the audio levels are all over the place.
But! Even though she soundtracks this layer cake of acoustic fuckery with generic plinking piano music once again, it's a plinking piano track she hasn't reused 8 billion times! I mean, it's still the same rehashed crap we're witnessing, but at least this is something, I guess? Like if you were forced to eat cat litter every day for every meal of your life, served up on the same plate every time, eventually you'd just be relieved to see a slightly different design on the plate.
And speaking of the same old shit, this intro teaser that Ruby has added promises such riveting delights as...
She'll be leaving her camera unattended as she films herself walking up and down the same 15 feet stretch of pavement.
She'll dress like she stole her wardrobe from mismatched items found on the washing line of someone playing a French art student in a series of school plays.
She'll associate exclusively with young, blonde white girls, as though she can't bear to look at a world that isn't full of people who look like less desiccated variants of herself.
She'll do uncoordinated gymnastics while nobody pays attention and Ruby wishes her mummy were there to cheer her on and tell her how talented she is every time she almost lands on her face and shatters her spine.
But practicing her diving skills is important, too.
She'll also show us what's in her bag, even though she's done that several times before and according to her, she ALWAYS carries the same things in her bag AVVERY SINGLE DAY, so I'm not sure what new revelations are supposed to be unearthed in Ruby's bag aside from more dust and gifted snack bars.
Oh, and it's also a "night routine", because self-proclaimed former child genius Ruby is actually profoundly dumb, and along with the other 95% of the English language which she doesn't know the meaning of, she doesn't know what the word "routine" means, either. If something's routine, it a regular pattern which doesn't change, and there's no point showing it 326 billion times a year.
The music abruptly drops out and we're assaulted by the abrasive sounds of traffic rushing everywhere. You could say this is symbolic of Ruby's dread over her impending future, being slam-dunked from academia into life's dumpster to a cacophony of noise as the rat race rushes on noisily around her. But you could also say that it's Ruby's sheer lack of filmmaking skill and her inability to understand consistent sound levels and scene transitions even after 7 years of doing this shit. And you should definitely say that, because it's totally the case.
Anyway, it's 30th March, allegedly, so what the fuck Ruby's been doing for two weeks is a mystery.
"On my whey to my laaahst avar seminar!" Ruby says, about to cry.
And then she launches into super-serious documentary narration for some reason.
"The AND of the academic year is strange...(DISGUSTING SOUNDS OF LICKING LIPS)...ANDD...the AND of your time at university or school is even stranger..." That letter at the beginning of the work "end" is an 'E', Ruby; it goes "eh", much like most people's indifferent reaction to your terrible content.
Ruby starts waxing philosophical about how many "laaaahsts" there are: "Lahhst clahhhsses" (where Ruby learned nothing but to cannibalise other people's ideas and notes), "lahhst walks past your favourite buildings" (even though Ruby avoided campus like the fucking plague) and maybe even "laaahst conversations with FRANDS" (even though Ruby only socialised with one person, who happened to be her roommate).
"ANDD...you're so AWAAHR that these moiyt bee...LAHHSTS."
Ruby includes footage of campus, and it's supposed to come off as reflective, but it's all a mess of different speeds and awkward whip-pans for no reason.
But she's also narrating this with faux-pensive meditations on the impermanence of things while filming the outside of clinical-looking buildings as though this is a documentary about palliative care and she's trying to summon the courage to finally go inside to say goodbye to a dying relative.
Her sad, mournful narration is hilarious since, in actuality, she's just graduating from a uni that she didn't like and moving away from a place she actively avoided whenever possible.
And then she just switches back to her usual slapdash vlog style, as though she wanted to make a documentary-style video on the final days of uni but one of her two remaining brain cells wouldn't cooperate with the other, so she just threw a kitchen sink of mismatched crap together.
"Yokyay, I've JOST has my LAAHST evar saminar as an undergraduate hyahrr," Ruby says, and Exeter University's academic staff shuddered in unison at the prospect of her returning to study at Master's level there.
"AND...THAN...I'M...gyowing to STODDY in town for a little bit and then I'M...meeting some FRANDS...for...brOnch...AT...twalve..."
Ruby's habit of emphasising the word "I" or "I'm" and then pausing as though waiting for an applause because she was mentioned has kicked into high gear into this video.
The bizarre pauses in her sentences make it seem like she's edited it together from multiple takes, even though she hasn't (this time, at least), so the only conclusion is that Ruby has started talking in as broken and disjointed a cadence as possible to cut out a step and save herself the effort of making herself sound like a garbled mess in editing. People can't complain that your editing makes you sounds like a seizure-ridden alien if you just start talking like that to begin with!
But she also does this face again when talking about seeing friends, studying and eating brunch, so we know none of those things will happen:
"YOUAREAWARE that things are gyowing to change but avverything remains syo normal in...the myoment."
Her narration abruptly returns out of nowhere, yoinking us from vlog style to low-quality documentary again. There's no flow or proper connective tissue, Ruby just jammed documentary voiceover into an unrelated vlog.
And then she awkwardly films a stagnant murder pond for some reason, and she's probably cataloguing this spot in her mind as the place to drown Blakeney to prevent her from leaving at graduation. If Ruby can't co-opt all Blakeney's time 24/7, then nobody can. RIP Blakeney.
She continues her melancholy, melodramatic rambles about how "AVVERYTHING will change syoon". In a masterclass of unintentional comedic timing, she cuts from moaning about how time at uni is far too fleeting and she'll never get to see the wonderful buildings and people again to making flimsy excuses that she can't study on campus because her "WiFi isn't wahrking for some reason on campus" and flees uni as fast as possible.
If you were in any doubt, Ruby does not give a shit about uni. She does everything possible to avoid doing her own work. She never learns. She hates studying. She hasn't enjoyed being in an academic environment past the age of 12. She never enjoyed the university campus environment and has avoided socialising, extracurricular activities and on-campus studying wherever possible.
Her last video was possibly the first time she's ever shown herself studying in the uni library, and it likely only got filmed because she was getting called out here for only frequenting coffee shops, taking up space and buying nothing. Now there's a convenient, dubious excuse for why she HAS to study off-campus. She doesn't like studying, she likes to be seen studying and judged to be intelligent, and that has no merit to her if it's in an environment where other people are doing it smarter and more diligently than her. So she goes to coffee shops, where she can type drivel into Notion and make-believe that the regular peons getting a latte are VARRY IMPRASSED with her, because other students certainly won't be.
She's not sad about leaving academia. She's just terrified of adulthood and grown-up responsibility and wants to delay that as long as possible by clinging to the last thing people told her she was good and special at (y'know, when she was like 10 and got praise from a teacher who was likely just being polite and supportive to this weird, spoilt child who couldn't form coherent sentences).
This video might be remotely interesting if she sat down and was honest about her fear and apprehension surrounding adulthood, but instead it's more lies to avoid uni in a video about cherishing the uni experience?
On her way off campus, she rambles again about how it's the "LAAHST AVVAR TOIYME" she'll be on-campus. It's a nonsensical mush of "OIY'M...(dramatic pause)...blahblahblah...AND...blahblahblah...AND OIY'M...(dramatic pause)..." Her narcissism runs so deep that she can't even mention herself in the first person without pausing and looking around for the parade in her honour.
And then she's back at her uni house, dressed like a dishevelled elderly woman.
"I...DID stay on campus for a little bit...AND THAN I...came straight hyome as opposed tyoo gyowing into town," she says, defensively.
Ruby rambles that it didn't make sense to go into town to study, even though she has to go there later anyway to meet her definitely real, absolutely not fictional "friends" there later and has a tonne of studying to get done. Instead she wasted time detouring back home, changed her clothes and added an extra unnecessary link to her day's events.
"Also I'm...weirdly suddenly feeling not varry gud. Feeling a bit ill. I...just wanted to come home."
There's nothing weird about it, Ruby. You don't eat food, so of course your body is going to shut down and you're going to feel like shit.
Genius Ruby's solution to feeling exausted and ill is to just chug more water and take a "TAN minute" break. What a fucking moron. Kids, don't be like Ruby. If you're ill, listen to your body and rest. Also eat regular, substantial, nutritious meals. Water is not a meal plan.
She mentions that she finished something dissertation-related following a meeting with her dissertation supervisor the day before. She offers no further details. This marks something like 6 or 7 meetings she's had with her dissertation supervisor, not counting all the lengthy emails Ruby's undoubtedly harassed them with. I've not known anyone to take or need that many dissertation meetings, so Ruby's dissertation is clearly still a complete trainwreck.
Remember when Ruby was claiming that she couldn't focus or get any work done unless her desk was spotless and clutter-free? Anyway, here's an unrelated picture of Ruby's desk cluttered with empty mugs, bottles and cans.
She magically switches to her third outfit of the "day" and the narration reappears.
Ruby rambles about how we don't know what it's going to be like to leave academia because we spend our formative years at school. She claims that we form out identities in an academic space and find out our identities while learning. It's abundantly clear that she's completely detached from reality.
She does not have the self-awareness the realise that she has no identity to speak of. Hers is a cobbled-together selection of stolen affectations cribbed from fictional children and the few friends who she made and imitated every style and nuance of. She's cultivated an identity as a bookworm, a scholar, a vegan, and a charitable advocate for kindness. Yet she's proven that she lies about reading and does all she can to avoid doing it. She actively dislikes studying and lies about the extent to which she does it, most of her essays being stitched together from a selection of cannibalised sources. She rarely sticks to a vegan diet. And she actively steals from charities and is a toxic influence to her audience. So, like...what is her identity, beyond being a compulsive liar, narcissist and charity thief?
Also, sure, people spend their formative years at school, but that's not all that they do with their lives. They find themselves and discover their identity by socialising. Interacting with people different than themselves. They try new things. They grow as people. Ruby hasn't done any of that. She's cocooned herself into her fake academic shell and done everything she can to never progress past the age of 12.
This is why you were supposed to actually live a life alongside uni, Ruby. You're not supposed to get to the end of uni with zero idea what your life will ever look life or what you could possibly do with any of your time if you remove academia from the mix. Your life wouldn't be such an unrelenting disaster right now if maybe you'd spent even a little time doing anything else but pretending to be smart and studious.
Ruby lies that YASS, she DID change her clothes, because the weather picked up and got a little warmer and so that meant that she had to change into an outfit comprised of the exact same amount of layers of the same thickness as before. If it got warmer, you'd just remove the wool grandma shawl throw from around your shoulders, you wouldn't change outfits for the third time that day.
For someone who lies about everything, you'd think she'd have improved at it by now, but she's just as bad at it as ever. But that's Ruby in all things, really: She has a select few interests and never improves or grows in any of them.
The lies continue as Ruby claims she's been VARRY PRODOCKTIVE by getting lots of writing done. But she's clearly already forgotten the fake timescales she's supposed to be living out in this video, so she spends an awkwardly long time trying to make up an impressive amount of time to have spent writing which won't conflict with anything else she's said. And as she does, she does weird hand gestures and scrunches up her face like she usually does when making shit up.
Ruby rambles some more in narration about how she gauges the passage of time by the academic year instead of the normal calendar year. She neglects to mention, though, that she also is still living in the mentality of a primary school student. The terminology she uses ("half-term", "terms" instead of "semesters", "classes" instead of lectures/seminars, and so on) is rooted in school, not university, and she never mentally progressed beyond that.
Ruby drops what she thinks is a profound truth-bomb: "The ASS-ense - the core of of you - isn't tied to acadammicks." Yeah, no fucking shit. Almost nobody feels that way. You're the only dipshit out here acting like academia is the be-all and end-all of life and the only defining part of their personality.
So Ruby finally goes to meet the "FRANDS" she was scheduled to meet. I don't think they've ever appeared in Ruby's content ever before. They also don't interact with her at any point in the footage shown. They both face each other, pointed away from Ruby. It totally makes it look like Ruby just sat next to two strangers and started filming them, pretending they were friends.
It's time for Ruby to show off what's in her bag. She tries to differentiate this from all the other "What's in my bag?" videos she's done by claiming this is a sports bag, when it's just the exact same bag she's shown off as her general school bag before.
She shows off the enamel pins on her bag (which looks absolutely filthy), for no other reason than to advertise her own brand's product: a "Can Be Kind" pin which is sold on "PONKIN' PRODOCKTIVTEA".
This pin isn't on the bag in the first shot and clearly isn't usually on her bag, but she slapped it on especially just to shill it. She posts an on-screen disclaimer:
But Ditch the Label are still waiting for the ad revenue money that Ruby claimed would be going to them if people watched her anti-bullying videos and sat through all the ads, then she blocked anyone who asked how much was raised. No money will go to a charity if it touches Ruby's hands, it'll vanish into her pockets. Just donate directly to the cause and don't enable or encourage her thievery and bullshit.
Her nail polish is also chipped and messy once again, and they magically become painted, chipped and repainted several times in this video, big shocker.
And, of course, it wouldn't be a Ruby video without an ad for gifted snack bars.
You might be shocked that she's declared this as a gifted product after months and months of blatantly shoehorning them into every single video undeclared. But don't worry, Ruby hasn't gone and learned a lesson or anything crazy like that.
The only reason that Ruby has declared this is because Holly declared a gifted ad for them a few days ago, making it incredibly hard for Ruby to advertise them undeclared yet again.
Holly's also not being entirely honest - Misfits have been providing Sixteenth "talent" with gifted crap for ages, so this isn't a new thing. It's also not an unbiased opinion if you were gifted the product, and stressing that it's not sponsored means nothing. If you were gifted the product, that's a form of payment. But at least she did the bare minimum and declared it as gifted, I guess.
Back to Ruby's bag, it's unsurprisingly full of clutter.
Talc powder, an entire bottle of shampoo, notepads, a "sweatSHART", a gigantic "wyartuh bottuww", random scrunchies, a small child's ballet socks, a fucking first aid kit and other assorted bullshit.
Yet another outfit change, this time for Bite Back, a "Shark Conversation" charity. Don't forget, sharks are people, too. If you have a friend who's a shark who you haven't spoken to in a while, why not reach out and talk to them? If you have elderly shark neighbours who don't get out of the house, drop by and chat with them. A little conversation can really make a big difference for any aquatic creatures who are struggling in their day-to-day life.
That "Smile, Smile, Smile" song that Ruby hasn't stopped using in every video for years is reused again to soundtrack footage of Ruby looking dishevelled and miserable as she films herself wandering the streets, without the bag she spent an entire section of the video telling us she was taking with her. Whoops.
Ruby does more bad trampolining, and is constantly fucking up her landings. Not-so-coincidentally, she hasn't eaten anything all "day", supposedly felt ill from exhaustion earlier this "day" and only took a ten minute rest, and now has no coordination. I'm sure those things aren't related, though...
She films herself "leaving", and it's clearly the same shot as before. She just did her usual lazy, insane habit of setting up the camera on the floor, leaving it unattended and then just walking up and down the street, back and forth in different directions, cutting it up and presenting it as different shots.
She gets home and is in like the 57th outfit of the day.
Remember, the key to being VARRY PRODUCTIVE is to just LOVE AVVERYTHING THAT YOU DYOO and that way, it will not feel like WAHHRK. It has nothing to do with lying about the timescales of everything and the amount that you accomplish. It's just about enjoying your work, just like Ruby very clearly is here.
If you don't look like this when you're having fun and enjoying things, you're clearly doing something wrong:
The narration reappears out of nowhere, as if Ruby suddenly remembered that this was a documentary or something.
Ruby's just repeating the exact same things over and over, though: "UNI IS ENDING! IT'S VARRY HARD BECAUSE I...AM SO IMMARSED IN ACADEMIC CULTURE. WHATAVVER WILL OIY DYOO?!"
Again, Ruby's done everything she can to avoid university culture, avoid other students, avoid campus, avoid the city her university is located and avoid doing any university work of her own. She is in no way immersed in university culture other than the superficial, fake personality she's crafted for herself as a supposedly studious genius.
Get the fuck out of here with this bullshit, Ruby.
This isn't food. This is a small sandwich diced into fractions with half a carrot chopped and positioned nearby.
If you'd had two full meals in this day, this might qualify as a snack. As your main meal, this is dangerously fucking stupid. Stop showing this shit, you unfathomable cretin.
After all the meandering drivel Ruby has been droning about this being her laaahst day with her laaahst "samminar", Blakeney casually reminds her that they have another seminar on Friday.
"BOTT IT'S NOT A SAMMINAR, IT'S A WAHHRKSHOP." And then she looked VARRY smug, even though a seminar is basically just a workshop for students to discuss shit.
After 10 minutes of recycled garbage, incompetent filmmaking and meandering, go-nowhere diatribes, Ruby decided this bullshit wasn't long enough, so she'd gonna slap even more rehashed crap on the dumpster fire.
"Boht I didn't QUITE manage to film a full night routine..." I mean, that's never stopped you before. You've never filmed a night routine in a single night, Ruby. You just stitch them together from old random footage.
Unsurprisingly, Ruby just gives the inside of the bowl and the lid a quick scrub, but doesn't even attempt to clean the outside, despite her grubby hands being all over it, it being shoved in a dank and dusty bag and touching all manner of filth along the way. She thinks that time-lapsing the footage will fool people into thinking she's being super busy and thorough, but sorry, Ruby, you're not fooling anyone, you still live like a swamp troll.
After that, she watches a YouTube video by Lydia Violetta. I've never heard of her before, but looking at her YouTube channel, she's a young blond StudyTuber with an apparent eating disorder, so Ruby's still incapable of engaging with anyone or anything that's not all about her, identical to her or that she can steal ideas and inspiration from.
She claims to then be "stoddying", but she has notes for her own book open, so her dissertation is a lost cause at this point.
And then, once again, she tells us that she and Blakeney cooked a big, substantial meal together...
"BOHTT!I...DIDN'T film that." The weird "but" is absolutely fucking deafening. Learn to edit Ruby, damn.
And, big surprise, all Ruby's big, nutritious meals conveniently don't get filmed, or her camera dies, or her mum fell down the stairs, or she discovered she has a sister, or something beyond her control prevented her from filming it.
Ruby continues her unrelenting campaign of stupidity by once again climbing all over her desk to close her curtains even though they're in arm's reach while sat at the desk.
I mean, look at this shit. Her arms are bent 90 degrees at the elbow and her hands are past the middle of the desk. You'd have to work hard not to touch the curtains when leaning across the desk. The desk also isn't especially wide, so you could also lean around it to close them. There's zero need to traverse the desk like a malnourished mountain climber to close the curtains. What a fucking moron.
Ruby's mugs remind me of working retail and all our mugs being heavily stained because our drinks sometimes had to sit there for a while when we were serving customers before we could heat them up again.
Apparently she has given up on the Birdshit and Blend for now and has taken to drinking the blood of the living to give her strength for that final stretch. (Seriously, that is one seriously unappetizing drink, imho! Why does she think this is good instagram content!)
I think the dress looks nice! The necklace, too. Something about it seems kind of 90s French red carpet to me, but maybe I also have no idea what I’m taking about. That’s definitely a possibility as well tbh. You can just tell that she’s very uncomfortable wearing it and she must not have expected to wear it without anything over it.
I’m kind of worried about some of the consequences of this, though.
I think that this dress would not look that great on any normal person who has an ounce of body fat on them. I’m worried that all of the positive comments she’s getting now that she’s really revealed herself will lead to more ED behavior since she’s gotten praise for her very thin appearance.
She has done it herself on her latest instagram post
My mother may have had many faults, but she would never have let me attend a red carpet premier in a tailcoat, and I think I love her a little bit more for that today
Apparently Ruby got soOoOoO many messages of people complimenting her outfit that night. Either she's overexaggerating or she only chose which messages she wanted to read.. My friend's message is still left on unread!
tommy shelby? is that you? the resemblance is uncanny hahhahha
also, thank you to all the wonderful tattlers on this thread for keeping me entertained while I am recovering from jaw surgery
Don't get me wrong, I think Heartstopper is a great series for LGBT+ teens. If I'd had that series when I was younger, I would have felt very happy to see myself represented. But it's not groundbreaking.
I do find it interesting how Ruby only seems to engage with queer romance - specifically gay male romance, thinking of how much she raved about Call Me By Your Name. But is that performative because she feels like she can't criticise queer romance in the same way she can heterosexual romances?
I know we all despair of the plinkety plonk and the neverending sugarfucking plumfairy, but let us give thanks here and now that at least she no longer slaps THIS atrocity on absolutely everything, like she did at one point. Begins around 9:05 and continues all the way through to the end.
Also when it comes to meeting a lot with her tutor, maybe she just goes to their set office hours everytime and takes all their time not giving a fuck about other students. It makes it super awkward cause it would be weird to throw her out. Many try hard students at my uni were doing that, sitting at the teacher's office door half an hour earlier to be first and then taking most of their time when others were waiting outside too. Super lame behaviour.
The new outfit post on her instagram really helps illustrate just how much more confident she looks in anything resembling a school uniform... She's positively glowing!
No no no, you’ve been counting it wrong my dear. In true Ruby style, each reply is a book in itself.
Not willing to do the maths but let’s just say you’ve got a few up on Roobes
I watched Ruby's recent video and I'm just wondering what she was actually doing with her dissertation and it felt that it was just a lot of busywork. Or she was trying to find a coherent argument in her dissertation that seems to be a mishmash of ideas? I didn't do that much faffing around with mine at the end though I did get my partner and my friend with master's degrees to look over it for me as I'm just very dyslexic but it was ready to go pretty much other than that. Is she going to rewrite it again? I'm thinking that she is floundering a lot now, stretching it out as either the dissertation is a mess or she is stretching out her time as a student for it being her last assignment? I do wonder how close to the deadline Ruby hands in things, I feel she hands things in things last minute, like an hour before it's due (five minutes was my record admittedly!)
I fee like she's 100% overcomplicating the dissertation... an UG dissertation isn't that hard to do well on if you are organised and have a coherent topic / line of argument to your work. I was done with mine over a month before the deadline because once you've written it, there's not really much more you can do other than minor edits and proof reads !
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