Deeznutslol
VIP Member
BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FOCKIN BLINDERS
- Notice
gossip_guy
VIP Member
I'm shocked that the universe didn't collapse in on itself with that much smug, entitled narcissism in such a confined space.
Too soon?
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gossip_guy
VIP Member
Because life is short and time is precious, I've decided to only recap the new content in Ruby's latest routine video:
bratzsmack
New member
Kim is an absolute hero for this one
teflonpanda
Chatty Member
Was looking at Instagram on the bus and for a brief, terrible moment I thought I had fallen into some alternate universe where Jade and Jack are married and have a kid and that kid is Ruby. I mean, just look at them-
Ruby gives off shy child vibes here, convince me otherwise
Ruby gives off shy child vibes here, convince me otherwise
bananapeel
Well-known member
Never thought my username was going to be super Ruby applicable one day.
gossip_guy
VIP Member
Must try harder, Ruby.
gossip_guy
VIP Member
Ruby's back after an unannounced, unexplained hiatus (it's JANUINELY not because her dissertation, her influencer career and her academic prospects are all crumbling around her, what made you think such TARRABLE things?!) and...it's a routine video.
During her time off, Ruby has evidently taken a brief moment to REFLACKT on the stale, repetitive and indescribably incompetent filmmaking and editing techniques, as she starts this "new" video off with a different style than usual.
She starts out with a preview of all the wonders we'll see in this very video, like those movie trailers that show you a mini teaser for the short trailer you're already about to watch. The audio levels are a shitshow even in this section, and she left ambient background noise in some clips, not in others, and the audio levels are all over the place.
But! Even though she soundtracks this layer cake of acoustic fuckery with generic plinking piano music once again, it's a plinking piano track she hasn't reused 8 billion times! I mean, it's still the same rehashed crap we're witnessing, but at least this is something, I guess? Like if you were forced to eat cat litter every day for every meal of your life, served up on the same plate every time, eventually you'd just be relieved to see a slightly different design on the plate.
And speaking of the same old shit, this intro teaser that Ruby has added promises such riveting delights as...
Watching her stare at laptops with a face like a slapped arse.
She'll be leaving her camera unattended as she films herself walking up and down the same 15 feet stretch of pavement.
She'll dress like she stole her wardrobe from mismatched items found on the washing line of someone playing a French art student in a series of school plays.
She'll eat tiny servings of ridiculous "food", never once attempting to eat a full, nutritious meal.
She'll associate exclusively with young, blonde white girls, as though she can't bear to look at a world that isn't full of people who look like less desiccated variants of herself.
She'll do uncoordinated gymnastics while nobody pays attention and Ruby wishes her mummy were there to cheer her on and tell her how talented she is every time she almost lands on her face and shatters her spine.
But practicing her diving skills is important, too.
She'll also show us what's in her bag, even though she's done that several times before and according to her, she ALWAYS carries the same things in her bag AVVERY SINGLE DAY, so I'm not sure what new revelations are supposed to be unearthed in Ruby's bag aside from more dust and gifted snack bars.
Oh, and it's also a "night routine", because self-proclaimed former child genius Ruby is actually profoundly dumb, and along with the other 95% of the English language which she doesn't know the meaning of, she doesn't know what the word "routine" means, either. If something's routine, it a regular pattern which doesn't change, and there's no point showing it 326 billion times a year.
The music abruptly drops out and we're assaulted by the abrasive sounds of traffic rushing everywhere. You could say this is symbolic of Ruby's dread over her impending future, being slam-dunked from academia into life's dumpster to a cacophony of noise as the rat race rushes on noisily around her. But you could also say that it's Ruby's sheer lack of filmmaking skill and her inability to understand consistent sound levels and scene transitions even after 7 years of doing this shit. And you should definitely say that, because it's totally the case.
Anyway, it's 30th March, allegedly, so what the fuck Ruby's been doing for two weeks is a mystery.
"On my whey to my laaahst avar seminar!" Ruby says, about to cry.
And then she launches into super-serious documentary narration for some reason.
"The AND of the academic year is strange...(DISGUSTING SOUNDS OF LICKING LIPS)...ANDD...the AND of your time at university or school is even stranger..." That letter at the beginning of the work "end" is an 'E', Ruby; it goes "eh", much like most people's indifferent reaction to your terrible content.
Ruby starts waxing philosophical about how many "laaaahsts" there are: "Lahhst clahhhsses" (where Ruby learned nothing but to cannibalise other people's ideas and notes), "lahhst walks past your favourite buildings" (even though Ruby avoided campus like the fucking plague) and maybe even "laaahst conversations with FRANDS" (even though Ruby only socialised with one person, who happened to be her roommate).
"ANDD...you're so AWAAHR that these moiyt bee...LAHHSTS."
Ruby includes footage of campus, and it's supposed to come off as reflective, but it's all a mess of different speeds and awkward whip-pans for no reason.
But she's also narrating this with faux-pensive meditations on the impermanence of things while filming the outside of clinical-looking buildings as though this is a documentary about palliative care and she's trying to summon the courage to finally go inside to say goodbye to a dying relative.
Her sad, mournful narration is hilarious since, in actuality, she's just graduating from a uni that she didn't like and moving away from a place she actively avoided whenever possible.
And then she just switches back to her usual slapdash vlog style, as though she wanted to make a documentary-style video on the final days of uni but one of her two remaining brain cells wouldn't cooperate with the other, so she just threw a kitchen sink of mismatched crap together.
"Yokyay, I've JOST has my LAAHST evar saminar as an undergraduate hyahrr," Ruby says, and Exeter University's academic staff shuddered in unison at the prospect of her returning to study at Master's level there.
"I...am...gyoing to gyo and stoddy," Ruby says, but she also whips out her now-trademark "I'm totally lying" facial tic/poker tell:
"AND...THAN...I'M...gyowing to STODDY in town for a little bit and then I'M...meeting some FRANDS...for...brOnch...AT...twalve..."
Ruby's habit of emphasising the word "I" or "I'm" and then pausing as though waiting for an applause because she was mentioned has kicked into high gear into this video.
The bizarre pauses in her sentences make it seem like she's edited it together from multiple takes, even though she hasn't (this time, at least), so the only conclusion is that Ruby has started talking in as broken and disjointed a cadence as possible to cut out a step and save herself the effort of making herself sound like a garbled mess in editing. People can't complain that your editing makes you sounds like a seizure-ridden alien if you just start talking like that to begin with!
But she also does this face again when talking about seeing friends, studying and eating brunch, so we know none of those things will happen:
"YOUAREAWARE that things are gyowing to change but avverything remains syo normal in...the myoment."
Her narration abruptly returns out of nowhere, yoinking us from vlog style to low-quality documentary again. There's no flow or proper connective tissue, Ruby just jammed documentary voiceover into an unrelated vlog.
Ironically, Ruby talks about things being normal while harassing some sleeping ducks, because university?
And then she awkwardly films a stagnant murder pond for some reason, and she's probably cataloguing this spot in her mind as the place to drown Blakeney to prevent her from leaving at graduation. If Ruby can't co-opt all Blakeney's time 24/7, then nobody can. RIP Blakeney.
She continues her melancholy, melodramatic rambles about how "AVVERYTHING will change syoon". In a masterclass of unintentional comedic timing, she cuts from moaning about how time at uni is far too fleeting and she'll never get to see the wonderful buildings and people again to making flimsy excuses that she can't study on campus because her "WiFi isn't wahrking for some reason on campus" and flees uni as fast as possible.
If you were in any doubt, Ruby does not give a shit about uni. She does everything possible to avoid doing her own work. She never learns. She hates studying. She hasn't enjoyed being in an academic environment past the age of 12. She never enjoyed the university campus environment and has avoided socialising, extracurricular activities and on-campus studying wherever possible.
Her last video was possibly the first time she's ever shown herself studying in the uni library, and it likely only got filmed because she was getting called out here for only frequenting coffee shops, taking up space and buying nothing. Now there's a convenient, dubious excuse for why she HAS to study off-campus. She doesn't like studying, she likes to be seen studying and judged to be intelligent, and that has no merit to her if it's in an environment where other people are doing it smarter and more diligently than her. So she goes to coffee shops, where she can type drivel into Notion and make-believe that the regular peons getting a latte are VARRY IMPRASSED with her, because other students certainly won't be.
She's not sad about leaving academia. She's just terrified of adulthood and grown-up responsibility and wants to delay that as long as possible by clinging to the last thing people told her she was good and special at (y'know, when she was like 10 and got praise from a teacher who was likely just being polite and supportive to this weird, spoilt child who couldn't form coherent sentences).
This video might be remotely interesting if she sat down and was honest about her fear and apprehension surrounding adulthood, but instead it's more lies to avoid uni in a video about cherishing the uni experience?
On her way off campus, she rambles again about how it's the "LAAHST AVVAR TOIYME" she'll be on-campus. It's a nonsensical mush of "OIY'M...(dramatic pause)...blahblahblah...AND...blahblahblah...AND OIY'M...(dramatic pause)..." Her narcissism runs so deep that she can't even mention herself in the first person without pausing and looking around for the parade in her honour.
She peruses more secluded potential murder spots.
And then she's back at her uni house, dressed like a dishevelled elderly woman.
"I...DID stay on campus for a little bit...AND THAN I...came straight hyome as opposed tyoo gyowing into town," she says, defensively.
Ruby rambles that it didn't make sense to go into town to study, even though she has to go there later anyway to meet her definitely real, absolutely not fictional "friends" there later and has a tonne of studying to get done. Instead she wasted time detouring back home, changed her clothes and added an extra unnecessary link to her day's events.
"Also I'm...weirdly suddenly feeling not varry gud. Feeling a bit ill. I...just wanted to come home."
There's nothing weird about it, Ruby. You don't eat food, so of course your body is going to shut down and you're going to feel like shit.
Genius Ruby's solution to feeling exausted and ill is to just chug more water and take a "TAN minute" break. What a fucking moron. Kids, don't be like Ruby. If you're ill, listen to your body and rest. Also eat regular, substantial, nutritious meals. Water is not a meal plan.
She mentions that she finished something dissertation-related following a meeting with her dissertation supervisor the day before. She offers no further details. This marks something like 6 or 7 meetings she's had with her dissertation supervisor, not counting all the lengthy emails Ruby's undoubtedly harassed them with. I've not known anyone to take or need that many dissertation meetings, so Ruby's dissertation is clearly still a complete trainwreck.
Remember when Ruby was claiming that she couldn't focus or get any work done unless her desk was spotless and clutter-free? Anyway, here's an unrelated picture of Ruby's desk cluttered with empty mugs, bottles and cans.
Big-brain Ruby can't figure out why she feels like shit when she survives entirely on a variety of stagnant teas, water and Kombucha cans.
She magically switches to her third outfit of the "day" and the narration reappears.
Ruby rambles about how we don't know what it's going to be like to leave academia because we spend our formative years at school. She claims that we form out identities in an academic space and find out our identities while learning. It's abundantly clear that she's completely detached from reality.
She does not have the self-awareness the realise that she has no identity to speak of. Hers is a cobbled-together selection of stolen affectations cribbed from fictional children and the few friends who she made and imitated every style and nuance of. She's cultivated an identity as a bookworm, a scholar, a vegan, and a charitable advocate for kindness. Yet she's proven that she lies about reading and does all she can to avoid doing it. She actively dislikes studying and lies about the extent to which she does it, most of her essays being stitched together from a selection of cannibalised sources. She rarely sticks to a vegan diet. And she actively steals from charities and is a toxic influence to her audience. So, like...what is her identity, beyond being a compulsive liar, narcissist and charity thief?
Also, sure, people spend their formative years at school, but that's not all that they do with their lives. They find themselves and discover their identity by socialising. Interacting with people different than themselves. They try new things. They grow as people. Ruby hasn't done any of that. She's cocooned herself into her fake academic shell and done everything she can to never progress past the age of 12.
This is why you were supposed to actually live a life alongside uni, Ruby. You're not supposed to get to the end of uni with zero idea what your life will ever look life or what you could possibly do with any of your time if you remove academia from the mix. Your life wouldn't be such an unrelenting disaster right now if maybe you'd spent even a little time doing anything else but pretending to be smart and studious.
Ruby lies that YASS, she DID change her clothes, because the weather picked up and got a little warmer and so that meant that she had to change into an outfit comprised of the exact same amount of layers of the same thickness as before. If it got warmer, you'd just remove the wool grandma shawl throw from around your shoulders, you wouldn't change outfits for the third time that day.
For someone who lies about everything, you'd think she'd have improved at it by now, but she's just as bad at it as ever. But that's Ruby in all things, really: She has a select few interests and never improves or grows in any of them.
The lies continue as Ruby claims she's been VARRY PRODOCKTIVE by getting lots of writing done. But she's clearly already forgotten the fake timescales she's supposed to be living out in this video, so she spends an awkwardly long time trying to make up an impressive amount of time to have spent writing which won't conflict with anything else she's said. And as she does, she does weird hand gestures and scrunches up her face like she usually does when making shit up.
Lies confirmed.
Ruby rambles some more in narration about how she gauges the passage of time by the academic year instead of the normal calendar year. She neglects to mention, though, that she also is still living in the mentality of a primary school student. The terminology she uses ("half-term", "terms" instead of "semesters", "classes" instead of lectures/seminars, and so on) is rooted in school, not university, and she never mentally progressed beyond that.
Ruby drops what she thinks is a profound truth-bomb: "The ASS-ense - the core of of you - isn't tied to acadammicks." Yeah, no fucking shit. Almost nobody feels that way. You're the only dipshit out here acting like academia is the be-all and end-all of life and the only defining part of their personality.
So Ruby finally goes to meet the "FRANDS" she was scheduled to meet. I don't think they've ever appeared in Ruby's content ever before. They also don't interact with her at any point in the footage shown. They both face each other, pointed away from Ruby. It totally makes it look like Ruby just sat next to two strangers and started filming them, pretending they were friends.
Ruby congratulates herself on her latest lie and then it's time to change locations again.
She buys a donut "for later", so it's a given that this will never get eaten.
It's time for Ruby to show off what's in her bag. She tries to differentiate this from all the other "What's in my bag?" videos she's done by claiming this is a sports bag, when it's just the exact same bag she's shown off as her general school bag before.
She shows off the enamel pins on her bag (which looks absolutely filthy), for no other reason than to advertise her own brand's product: a "Can Be Kind" pin which is sold on "PONKIN' PRODOCKTIVTEA".
This pin isn't on the bag in the first shot and clearly isn't usually on her bag, but she slapped it on especially just to shill it. She posts an on-screen disclaimer:
But Ditch the Label are still waiting for the ad revenue money that Ruby claimed would be going to them if people watched her anti-bullying videos and sat through all the ads, then she blocked anyone who asked how much was raised. No money will go to a charity if it touches Ruby's hands, it'll vanish into her pockets. Just donate directly to the cause and don't enable or encourage her thievery and bullshit.
Her nail polish is also chipped and messy once again, and they magically become painted, chipped and repainted several times in this video, big shocker.
And, of course, it wouldn't be a Ruby video without an ad for gifted snack bars.
You might be shocked that she's declared this as a gifted product after months and months of blatantly shoehorning them into every single video undeclared. But don't worry, Ruby hasn't gone and learned a lesson or anything crazy like that.
The only reason that Ruby has declared this is because Holly declared a gifted ad for them a few days ago, making it incredibly hard for Ruby to advertise them undeclared yet again.
Holly's also not being entirely honest - Misfits have been providing Sixteenth "talent" with gifted crap for ages, so this isn't a new thing. It's also not an unbiased opinion if you were gifted the product, and stressing that it's not sponsored means nothing. If you were gifted the product, that's a form of payment. But at least she did the bare minimum and declared it as gifted, I guess.
Back to Ruby's bag, it's unsurprisingly full of clutter.
Talc powder, an entire bottle of shampoo, notepads, a "sweatSHART", a gigantic "wyartuh bottuww", random scrunchies, a small child's ballet socks, a fucking first aid kit and other assorted bullshit.
Oh, and a lavender eye mask for some reason. "You put it over your eyes." Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.
Yet another outfit change, this time for Bite Back, a "Shark Conversation" charity. Don't forget, sharks are people, too. If you have a friend who's a shark who you haven't spoken to in a while, why not reach out and talk to them? If you have elderly shark neighbours who don't get out of the house, drop by and chat with them. A little conversation can really make a big difference for any aquatic creatures who are struggling in their day-to-day life.
That "Smile, Smile, Smile" song that Ruby hasn't stopped using in every video for years is reused again to soundtrack footage of Ruby looking dishevelled and miserable as she films herself wandering the streets, without the bag she spent an entire section of the video telling us she was taking with her. Whoops.
Ruby does more bad trampolining, and is constantly fucking up her landings. Not-so-coincidentally, she hasn't eaten anything all "day", supposedly felt ill from exhaustion earlier this "day" and only took a ten minute rest, and now has no coordination. I'm sure those things aren't related, though...
She films herself "leaving", and it's clearly the same shot as before. She just did her usual lazy, insane habit of setting up the camera on the floor, leaving it unattended and then just walking up and down the street, back and forth in different directions, cutting it up and presenting it as different shots.
She gets home and is in like the 57th outfit of the day.
Remember, the key to being VARRY PRODUCTIVE is to just LOVE AVVERYTHING THAT YOU DYOO and that way, it will not feel like WAHHRK. It has nothing to do with lying about the timescales of everything and the amount that you accomplish. It's just about enjoying your work, just like Ruby very clearly is here.
If you don't look like this when you're having fun and enjoying things, you're clearly doing something wrong:
The narration reappears out of nowhere, as if Ruby suddenly remembered that this was a documentary or something.
Ruby's just repeating the exact same things over and over, though: "UNI IS ENDING! IT'S VARRY HARD BECAUSE I...AM SO IMMARSED IN ACADEMIC CULTURE. WHATAVVER WILL OIY DYOO?!"
Again, Ruby's done everything she can to avoid university culture, avoid other students, avoid campus, avoid the city her university is located and avoid doing any university work of her own. She is in no way immersed in university culture other than the superficial, fake personality she's crafted for herself as a supposedly studious genius.
Get the fuck out of here with this bullshit, Ruby.
This isn't food. This is a small sandwich diced into fractions with half a carrot chopped and positioned nearby.
If you'd had two full meals in this day, this might qualify as a snack. As your main meal, this is dangerously fucking stupid. Stop showing this shit, you unfathomable cretin.
After all the meandering drivel Ruby has been droning about this being her laaahst day with her laaahst "samminar", Blakeney casually reminds her that they have another seminar on Friday.
Ruby puts on her "ACKSHUALLY..." face.
"BOTT IT'S NOT A SAMMINAR, IT'S A WAHHRKSHOP." And then she looked VARRY smug, even though a seminar is basically just a workshop for students to discuss shit.
"I dyooo feel like I'm raddy tyoo finish moiy degreee..." Ruby says after spending an entire video saying the opposite.
After 10 minutes of recycled garbage, incompetent filmmaking and meandering, go-nowhere diatribes, Ruby decided this bullshit wasn't long enough, so she'd gonna slap even more rehashed crap on the dumpster fire.
"Boht I didn't QUITE manage to film a full night routine..." I mean, that's never stopped you before. You've never filmed a night routine in a single night, Ruby. You just stitch them together from old random footage.
Ruby is dressed like some kind of creepy, knockoff Christmas nutcracker decoration you'd find in your grandparents' attic or something.
Yet again, she conveniently ate a big lunch off-screen, so it's time for Ruby to do her approximation of washing her "TOPPERWAHRE".
Unsurprisingly, Ruby just gives the inside of the bowl and the lid a quick scrub, but doesn't even attempt to clean the outside, despite her grubby hands being all over it, it being shoved in a dank and dusty bag and touching all manner of filth along the way. She thinks that time-lapsing the footage will fool people into thinking she's being super busy and thorough, but sorry, Ruby, you're not fooling anyone, you still live like a swamp troll.
The absolute state of this place...
She chugs some water and then goes to retrieve her mug to wash that, too.
She rinses it with water, gives the inside and one small lip-sized section of the rim a quick wipe and that's it.
So it's no great shock that the now "clean" mug looks like this:
Rancid and stained, nobody should be drinking from this.
Ruby complains that the tea tastes soapy. She claims to have cleaned it too much and just not rinsed it well enough.
After a second, off-screen clean, it still looks like this:
What a ghastly little goblin she is.
And don't forget, this is her routine. So every night, she drinks soapy tea and fails to clean anything despite several attempts, apparently.
She shows off yet another snack bar. Given everything we know about Ruby, this is yet another undeclared ad. It's also all she eats.
After that, she watches a YouTube video by Lydia Violetta. I've never heard of her before, but looking at her YouTube channel, she's a young blond StudyTuber with an apparent eating disorder, so Ruby's still incapable of engaging with anyone or anything that's not all about her, identical to her or that she can steal ideas and inspiration from.
She claims to then be "stoddying", but she has notes for her own book open, so her dissertation is a lost cause at this point.
And then, once again, she tells us that she and Blakeney cooked a big, substantial meal together...
"BOHTT! I...DIDN'T film that." The weird "but" is absolutely fucking deafening. Learn to edit Ruby, damn.
And, big surprise, all Ruby's big, nutritious meals conveniently don't get filmed, or her camera dies, or her mum fell down the stairs, or she discovered she has a sister, or something beyond her control prevented her from filming it.
Ruby continues her unrelenting campaign of stupidity by once again climbing all over her desk to close her curtains even though they're in arm's reach while sat at the desk.
I mean, look at this shit. Her arms are bent 90 degrees at the elbow and her hands are past the middle of the desk. You'd have to work hard not to touch the curtains when leaning across the desk. The desk also isn't especially wide, so you could also lean around it to close them. There's zero need to traverse the desk like a malnourished mountain climber to close the curtains. What a fucking moron.
And then she reveals that she's got yet another weird stash of food and drink squirreled away in her room.
Ruby, this is what kitchen cupboards are for. You're not living in prison. Blakeney's not going to steal all your food and shiv you in the kitchen.
But I guess Ruby wouldn't feel like a child at boarding school if she didn't stash food contraband in her sock drawer.
She then confirms once and for all - not that any confirmation were needed - that she has no clue what "admin" means.
"These are just small tahhhsks - things that don't necessarily need that much brainpower but equally are important."
Ruby hilariously claims she's ready to graduate from uni when she doesn't seem educated beyond the level of the average 11 year old.
Ruby, perhaps it's time to just stop making videos altogether and start learning basic foundation stuff.
Here's a book that would be perfect for your intelligence level:
During her time off, Ruby has evidently taken a brief moment to REFLACKT on the stale, repetitive and indescribably incompetent filmmaking and editing techniques, as she starts this "new" video off with a different style than usual.
She starts out with a preview of all the wonders we'll see in this very video, like those movie trailers that show you a mini teaser for the short trailer you're already about to watch. The audio levels are a shitshow even in this section, and she left ambient background noise in some clips, not in others, and the audio levels are all over the place.
But! Even though she soundtracks this layer cake of acoustic fuckery with generic plinking piano music once again, it's a plinking piano track she hasn't reused 8 billion times! I mean, it's still the same rehashed crap we're witnessing, but at least this is something, I guess? Like if you were forced to eat cat litter every day for every meal of your life, served up on the same plate every time, eventually you'd just be relieved to see a slightly different design on the plate.
And speaking of the same old shit, this intro teaser that Ruby has added promises such riveting delights as...
Watching her stare at laptops with a face like a slapped arse.
She'll be leaving her camera unattended as she films herself walking up and down the same 15 feet stretch of pavement.
She'll dress like she stole her wardrobe from mismatched items found on the washing line of someone playing a French art student in a series of school plays.
She'll eat tiny servings of ridiculous "food", never once attempting to eat a full, nutritious meal.
She'll associate exclusively with young, blonde white girls, as though she can't bear to look at a world that isn't full of people who look like less desiccated variants of herself.
She'll do uncoordinated gymnastics while nobody pays attention and Ruby wishes her mummy were there to cheer her on and tell her how talented she is every time she almost lands on her face and shatters her spine.
But practicing her diving skills is important, too.
She'll also show us what's in her bag, even though she's done that several times before and according to her, she ALWAYS carries the same things in her bag AVVERY SINGLE DAY, so I'm not sure what new revelations are supposed to be unearthed in Ruby's bag aside from more dust and gifted snack bars.
Oh, and it's also a "night routine", because self-proclaimed former child genius Ruby is actually profoundly dumb, and along with the other 95% of the English language which she doesn't know the meaning of, she doesn't know what the word "routine" means, either. If something's routine, it a regular pattern which doesn't change, and there's no point showing it 326 billion times a year.
The music abruptly drops out and we're assaulted by the abrasive sounds of traffic rushing everywhere. You could say this is symbolic of Ruby's dread over her impending future, being slam-dunked from academia into life's dumpster to a cacophony of noise as the rat race rushes on noisily around her. But you could also say that it's Ruby's sheer lack of filmmaking skill and her inability to understand consistent sound levels and scene transitions even after 7 years of doing this shit. And you should definitely say that, because it's totally the case.
Anyway, it's 30th March, allegedly, so what the fuck Ruby's been doing for two weeks is a mystery.
"On my whey to my laaahst avar seminar!" Ruby says, about to cry.
And then she launches into super-serious documentary narration for some reason.
"The AND of the academic year is strange...(DISGUSTING SOUNDS OF LICKING LIPS)...ANDD...the AND of your time at university or school is even stranger..." That letter at the beginning of the work "end" is an 'E', Ruby; it goes "eh", much like most people's indifferent reaction to your terrible content.
Ruby starts waxing philosophical about how many "laaaahsts" there are: "Lahhst clahhhsses" (where Ruby learned nothing but to cannibalise other people's ideas and notes), "lahhst walks past your favourite buildings" (even though Ruby avoided campus like the fucking plague) and maybe even "laaahst conversations with FRANDS" (even though Ruby only socialised with one person, who happened to be her roommate).
"ANDD...you're so AWAAHR that these moiyt bee...LAHHSTS."
Ruby includes footage of campus, and it's supposed to come off as reflective, but it's all a mess of different speeds and awkward whip-pans for no reason.
But she's also narrating this with faux-pensive meditations on the impermanence of things while filming the outside of clinical-looking buildings as though this is a documentary about palliative care and she's trying to summon the courage to finally go inside to say goodbye to a dying relative.
Her sad, mournful narration is hilarious since, in actuality, she's just graduating from a uni that she didn't like and moving away from a place she actively avoided whenever possible.
And then she just switches back to her usual slapdash vlog style, as though she wanted to make a documentary-style video on the final days of uni but one of her two remaining brain cells wouldn't cooperate with the other, so she just threw a kitchen sink of mismatched crap together.
"Yokyay, I've JOST has my LAAHST evar saminar as an undergraduate hyahrr," Ruby says, and Exeter University's academic staff shuddered in unison at the prospect of her returning to study at Master's level there.
"I...am...gyoing to gyo and stoddy," Ruby says, but she also whips out her now-trademark "I'm totally lying" facial tic/poker tell:
"AND...THAN...I'M...gyowing to STODDY in town for a little bit and then I'M...meeting some FRANDS...for...brOnch...AT...twalve..."
Ruby's habit of emphasising the word "I" or "I'm" and then pausing as though waiting for an applause because she was mentioned has kicked into high gear into this video.
The bizarre pauses in her sentences make it seem like she's edited it together from multiple takes, even though she hasn't (this time, at least), so the only conclusion is that Ruby has started talking in as broken and disjointed a cadence as possible to cut out a step and save herself the effort of making herself sound like a garbled mess in editing. People can't complain that your editing makes you sounds like a seizure-ridden alien if you just start talking like that to begin with!
But she also does this face again when talking about seeing friends, studying and eating brunch, so we know none of those things will happen:
"YOUAREAWARE that things are gyowing to change but avverything remains syo normal in...the myoment."
Her narration abruptly returns out of nowhere, yoinking us from vlog style to low-quality documentary again. There's no flow or proper connective tissue, Ruby just jammed documentary voiceover into an unrelated vlog.
Ironically, Ruby talks about things being normal while harassing some sleeping ducks, because university?
And then she awkwardly films a stagnant murder pond for some reason, and she's probably cataloguing this spot in her mind as the place to drown Blakeney to prevent her from leaving at graduation. If Ruby can't co-opt all Blakeney's time 24/7, then nobody can. RIP Blakeney.
She continues her melancholy, melodramatic rambles about how "AVVERYTHING will change syoon". In a masterclass of unintentional comedic timing, she cuts from moaning about how time at uni is far too fleeting and she'll never get to see the wonderful buildings and people again to making flimsy excuses that she can't study on campus because her "WiFi isn't wahrking for some reason on campus" and flees uni as fast as possible.
If you were in any doubt, Ruby does not give a shit about uni. She does everything possible to avoid doing her own work. She never learns. She hates studying. She hasn't enjoyed being in an academic environment past the age of 12. She never enjoyed the university campus environment and has avoided socialising, extracurricular activities and on-campus studying wherever possible.
Her last video was possibly the first time she's ever shown herself studying in the uni library, and it likely only got filmed because she was getting called out here for only frequenting coffee shops, taking up space and buying nothing. Now there's a convenient, dubious excuse for why she HAS to study off-campus. She doesn't like studying, she likes to be seen studying and judged to be intelligent, and that has no merit to her if it's in an environment where other people are doing it smarter and more diligently than her. So she goes to coffee shops, where she can type drivel into Notion and make-believe that the regular peons getting a latte are VARRY IMPRASSED with her, because other students certainly won't be.
She's not sad about leaving academia. She's just terrified of adulthood and grown-up responsibility and wants to delay that as long as possible by clinging to the last thing people told her she was good and special at (y'know, when she was like 10 and got praise from a teacher who was likely just being polite and supportive to this weird, spoilt child who couldn't form coherent sentences).
This video might be remotely interesting if she sat down and was honest about her fear and apprehension surrounding adulthood, but instead it's more lies to avoid uni in a video about cherishing the uni experience?
On her way off campus, she rambles again about how it's the "LAAHST AVVAR TOIYME" she'll be on-campus. It's a nonsensical mush of "OIY'M...(dramatic pause)...blahblahblah...AND...blahblahblah...AND OIY'M...(dramatic pause)..." Her narcissism runs so deep that she can't even mention herself in the first person without pausing and looking around for the parade in her honour.
She peruses more secluded potential murder spots.
And then she's back at her uni house, dressed like a dishevelled elderly woman.
"I...DID stay on campus for a little bit...AND THAN I...came straight hyome as opposed tyoo gyowing into town," she says, defensively.
Ruby rambles that it didn't make sense to go into town to study, even though she has to go there later anyway to meet her definitely real, absolutely not fictional "friends" there later and has a tonne of studying to get done. Instead she wasted time detouring back home, changed her clothes and added an extra unnecessary link to her day's events.
"Also I'm...weirdly suddenly feeling not varry gud. Feeling a bit ill. I...just wanted to come home."
There's nothing weird about it, Ruby. You don't eat food, so of course your body is going to shut down and you're going to feel like shit.
Genius Ruby's solution to feeling exausted and ill is to just chug more water and take a "TAN minute" break. What a fucking moron. Kids, don't be like Ruby. If you're ill, listen to your body and rest. Also eat regular, substantial, nutritious meals. Water is not a meal plan.
She mentions that she finished something dissertation-related following a meeting with her dissertation supervisor the day before. She offers no further details. This marks something like 6 or 7 meetings she's had with her dissertation supervisor, not counting all the lengthy emails Ruby's undoubtedly harassed them with. I've not known anyone to take or need that many dissertation meetings, so Ruby's dissertation is clearly still a complete trainwreck.
Remember when Ruby was claiming that she couldn't focus or get any work done unless her desk was spotless and clutter-free? Anyway, here's an unrelated picture of Ruby's desk cluttered with empty mugs, bottles and cans.
Big-brain Ruby can't figure out why she feels like shit when she survives entirely on a variety of stagnant teas, water and Kombucha cans.
She magically switches to her third outfit of the "day" and the narration reappears.
Ruby rambles about how we don't know what it's going to be like to leave academia because we spend our formative years at school. She claims that we form out identities in an academic space and find out our identities while learning. It's abundantly clear that she's completely detached from reality.
She does not have the self-awareness the realise that she has no identity to speak of. Hers is a cobbled-together selection of stolen affectations cribbed from fictional children and the few friends who she made and imitated every style and nuance of. She's cultivated an identity as a bookworm, a scholar, a vegan, and a charitable advocate for kindness. Yet she's proven that she lies about reading and does all she can to avoid doing it. She actively dislikes studying and lies about the extent to which she does it, most of her essays being stitched together from a selection of cannibalised sources. She rarely sticks to a vegan diet. And she actively steals from charities and is a toxic influence to her audience. So, like...what is her identity, beyond being a compulsive liar, narcissist and charity thief?
Also, sure, people spend their formative years at school, but that's not all that they do with their lives. They find themselves and discover their identity by socialising. Interacting with people different than themselves. They try new things. They grow as people. Ruby hasn't done any of that. She's cocooned herself into her fake academic shell and done everything she can to never progress past the age of 12.
This is why you were supposed to actually live a life alongside uni, Ruby. You're not supposed to get to the end of uni with zero idea what your life will ever look life or what you could possibly do with any of your time if you remove academia from the mix. Your life wouldn't be such an unrelenting disaster right now if maybe you'd spent even a little time doing anything else but pretending to be smart and studious.
Ruby lies that YASS, she DID change her clothes, because the weather picked up and got a little warmer and so that meant that she had to change into an outfit comprised of the exact same amount of layers of the same thickness as before. If it got warmer, you'd just remove the wool grandma shawl throw from around your shoulders, you wouldn't change outfits for the third time that day.
For someone who lies about everything, you'd think she'd have improved at it by now, but she's just as bad at it as ever. But that's Ruby in all things, really: She has a select few interests and never improves or grows in any of them.
The lies continue as Ruby claims she's been VARRY PRODOCKTIVE by getting lots of writing done. But she's clearly already forgotten the fake timescales she's supposed to be living out in this video, so she spends an awkwardly long time trying to make up an impressive amount of time to have spent writing which won't conflict with anything else she's said. And as she does, she does weird hand gestures and scrunches up her face like she usually does when making shit up.
Lies confirmed.
Ruby rambles some more in narration about how she gauges the passage of time by the academic year instead of the normal calendar year. She neglects to mention, though, that she also is still living in the mentality of a primary school student. The terminology she uses ("half-term", "terms" instead of "semesters", "classes" instead of lectures/seminars, and so on) is rooted in school, not university, and she never mentally progressed beyond that.
Ruby drops what she thinks is a profound truth-bomb: "The ASS-ense - the core of of you - isn't tied to acadammicks." Yeah, no fucking shit. Almost nobody feels that way. You're the only dipshit out here acting like academia is the be-all and end-all of life and the only defining part of their personality.
So Ruby finally goes to meet the "FRANDS" she was scheduled to meet. I don't think they've ever appeared in Ruby's content ever before. They also don't interact with her at any point in the footage shown. They both face each other, pointed away from Ruby. It totally makes it look like Ruby just sat next to two strangers and started filming them, pretending they were friends.
Ruby congratulates herself on her latest lie and then it's time to change locations again.
She buys a donut "for later", so it's a given that this will never get eaten.
It's time for Ruby to show off what's in her bag. She tries to differentiate this from all the other "What's in my bag?" videos she's done by claiming this is a sports bag, when it's just the exact same bag she's shown off as her general school bag before.
She shows off the enamel pins on her bag (which looks absolutely filthy), for no other reason than to advertise her own brand's product: a "Can Be Kind" pin which is sold on "PONKIN' PRODOCKTIVTEA".
This pin isn't on the bag in the first shot and clearly isn't usually on her bag, but she slapped it on especially just to shill it. She posts an on-screen disclaimer:
But Ditch the Label are still waiting for the ad revenue money that Ruby claimed would be going to them if people watched her anti-bullying videos and sat through all the ads, then she blocked anyone who asked how much was raised. No money will go to a charity if it touches Ruby's hands, it'll vanish into her pockets. Just donate directly to the cause and don't enable or encourage her thievery and bullshit.
Her nail polish is also chipped and messy once again, and they magically become painted, chipped and repainted several times in this video, big shocker.
And, of course, it wouldn't be a Ruby video without an ad for gifted snack bars.
You might be shocked that she's declared this as a gifted product after months and months of blatantly shoehorning them into every single video undeclared. But don't worry, Ruby hasn't gone and learned a lesson or anything crazy like that.
The only reason that Ruby has declared this is because Holly declared a gifted ad for them a few days ago, making it incredibly hard for Ruby to advertise them undeclared yet again.
Holly's also not being entirely honest - Misfits have been providing Sixteenth "talent" with gifted crap for ages, so this isn't a new thing. It's also not an unbiased opinion if you were gifted the product, and stressing that it's not sponsored means nothing. If you were gifted the product, that's a form of payment. But at least she did the bare minimum and declared it as gifted, I guess.
Back to Ruby's bag, it's unsurprisingly full of clutter.
Talc powder, an entire bottle of shampoo, notepads, a "sweatSHART", a gigantic "wyartuh bottuww", random scrunchies, a small child's ballet socks, a fucking first aid kit and other assorted bullshit.
Oh, and a lavender eye mask for some reason. "You put it over your eyes." Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.
Yet another outfit change, this time for Bite Back, a "Shark Conversation" charity. Don't forget, sharks are people, too. If you have a friend who's a shark who you haven't spoken to in a while, why not reach out and talk to them? If you have elderly shark neighbours who don't get out of the house, drop by and chat with them. A little conversation can really make a big difference for any aquatic creatures who are struggling in their day-to-day life.
That "Smile, Smile, Smile" song that Ruby hasn't stopped using in every video for years is reused again to soundtrack footage of Ruby looking dishevelled and miserable as she films herself wandering the streets, without the bag she spent an entire section of the video telling us she was taking with her. Whoops.
Ruby does more bad trampolining, and is constantly fucking up her landings. Not-so-coincidentally, she hasn't eaten anything all "day", supposedly felt ill from exhaustion earlier this "day" and only took a ten minute rest, and now has no coordination. I'm sure those things aren't related, though...
She films herself "leaving", and it's clearly the same shot as before. She just did her usual lazy, insane habit of setting up the camera on the floor, leaving it unattended and then just walking up and down the street, back and forth in different directions, cutting it up and presenting it as different shots.
She gets home and is in like the 57th outfit of the day.
Remember, the key to being VARRY PRODUCTIVE is to just LOVE AVVERYTHING THAT YOU DYOO and that way, it will not feel like WAHHRK. It has nothing to do with lying about the timescales of everything and the amount that you accomplish. It's just about enjoying your work, just like Ruby very clearly is here.
If you don't look like this when you're having fun and enjoying things, you're clearly doing something wrong:
The narration reappears out of nowhere, as if Ruby suddenly remembered that this was a documentary or something.
Ruby's just repeating the exact same things over and over, though: "UNI IS ENDING! IT'S VARRY HARD BECAUSE I...AM SO IMMARSED IN ACADEMIC CULTURE. WHATAVVER WILL OIY DYOO?!"
Again, Ruby's done everything she can to avoid university culture, avoid other students, avoid campus, avoid the city her university is located and avoid doing any university work of her own. She is in no way immersed in university culture other than the superficial, fake personality she's crafted for herself as a supposedly studious genius.
Get the fuck out of here with this bullshit, Ruby.
This isn't food. This is a small sandwich diced into fractions with half a carrot chopped and positioned nearby.
If you'd had two full meals in this day, this might qualify as a snack. As your main meal, this is dangerously fucking stupid. Stop showing this shit, you unfathomable cretin.
After all the meandering drivel Ruby has been droning about this being her laaahst day with her laaahst "samminar", Blakeney casually reminds her that they have another seminar on Friday.
Ruby puts on her "ACKSHUALLY..." face.
"BOTT IT'S NOT A SAMMINAR, IT'S A WAHHRKSHOP." And then she looked VARRY smug, even though a seminar is basically just a workshop for students to discuss shit.
"I dyooo feel like I'm raddy tyoo finish moiy degreee..." Ruby says after spending an entire video saying the opposite.
After 10 minutes of recycled garbage, incompetent filmmaking and meandering, go-nowhere diatribes, Ruby decided this bullshit wasn't long enough, so she'd gonna slap even more rehashed crap on the dumpster fire.
"Boht I didn't QUITE manage to film a full night routine..." I mean, that's never stopped you before. You've never filmed a night routine in a single night, Ruby. You just stitch them together from old random footage.
Ruby is dressed like some kind of creepy, knockoff Christmas nutcracker decoration you'd find in your grandparents' attic or something.
Yet again, she conveniently ate a big lunch off-screen, so it's time for Ruby to do her approximation of washing her "TOPPERWAHRE".
Unsurprisingly, Ruby just gives the inside of the bowl and the lid a quick scrub, but doesn't even attempt to clean the outside, despite her grubby hands being all over it, it being shoved in a dank and dusty bag and touching all manner of filth along the way. She thinks that time-lapsing the footage will fool people into thinking she's being super busy and thorough, but sorry, Ruby, you're not fooling anyone, you still live like a swamp troll.
The absolute state of this place...
She chugs some water and then goes to retrieve her mug to wash that, too.
She rinses it with water, gives the inside and one small lip-sized section of the rim a quick wipe and that's it.
So it's no great shock that the now "clean" mug looks like this:
Rancid and stained, nobody should be drinking from this.
Ruby complains that the tea tastes soapy. She claims to have cleaned it too much and just not rinsed it well enough.
After a second, off-screen clean, it still looks like this:
What a ghastly little goblin she is.
And don't forget, this is her routine. So every night, she drinks soapy tea and fails to clean anything despite several attempts, apparently.
She shows off yet another snack bar. Given everything we know about Ruby, this is yet another undeclared ad. It's also all she eats.
After that, she watches a YouTube video by Lydia Violetta. I've never heard of her before, but looking at her YouTube channel, she's a young blond StudyTuber with an apparent eating disorder, so Ruby's still incapable of engaging with anyone or anything that's not all about her, identical to her or that she can steal ideas and inspiration from.
She claims to then be "stoddying", but she has notes for her own book open, so her dissertation is a lost cause at this point.
And then, once again, she tells us that she and Blakeney cooked a big, substantial meal together...
"BOHTT! I...DIDN'T film that." The weird "but" is absolutely fucking deafening. Learn to edit Ruby, damn.
And, big surprise, all Ruby's big, nutritious meals conveniently don't get filmed, or her camera dies, or her mum fell down the stairs, or she discovered she has a sister, or something beyond her control prevented her from filming it.
Ruby continues her unrelenting campaign of stupidity by once again climbing all over her desk to close her curtains even though they're in arm's reach while sat at the desk.
I mean, look at this shit. Her arms are bent 90 degrees at the elbow and her hands are past the middle of the desk. You'd have to work hard not to touch the curtains when leaning across the desk. The desk also isn't especially wide, so you could also lean around it to close them. There's zero need to traverse the desk like a malnourished mountain climber to close the curtains. What a fucking moron.
And then she reveals that she's got yet another weird stash of food and drink squirreled away in her room.
Ruby, this is what kitchen cupboards are for. You're not living in prison. Blakeney's not going to steal all your food and shiv you in the kitchen.
But I guess Ruby wouldn't feel like a child at boarding school if she didn't stash food contraband in her sock drawer.
She then confirms once and for all - not that any confirmation were needed - that she has no clue what "admin" means.
"These are just small tahhhsks - things that don't necessarily need that much brainpower but equally are important."
Ruby hilariously claims she's ready to graduate from uni when she doesn't seem educated beyond the level of the average 11 year old.
Ruby, perhaps it's time to just stop making videos altogether and start learning basic foundation stuff.
Here's a book that would be perfect for your intelligence level:
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teflonpanda
Chatty Member
Ruby: *gets sponsored by Netflix to promote their shows, which she claims she watches and enjoys*
Also Ruby: "My limit for Netflix is Zero Minutes"
Netflix really got themselves a great ambassador here, huh.
gossip_guy
VIP Member
Ruby starts her day with a small prayer to the Gods of Productivity.
"Dearest Productivity Gods, please grant me nothing but First grades and the opportunity to steal more charity money. Notion bless me. Amen."
But Ruby remembers that it's kinder to be grateful for the charity money you already stole than to wish for more to steal.
And then she smiles, because she has a lot of stolen charity money.
Ruby continues to not know how emoticons and emojis work and accidentally gives the mention of waking up with a smile a weird, suggestive tone.
Ruby was evidently just grinning at nothing for the better part of an hour, since she claims she woke up at 6:30am, but it's a while after 7am when she gets out of bed to turn off her alarm.
Ruby starts every morning with a breath of fresh air, because breathing in the dust, mold and dirt that permeates every inch of her room overnight must be hell on the lungs.
Her mind must still be on all the charity money she swindled, because she starts grinning like a psychopath again.
After bodychecking with some morning stretches, where Ruby mentions that she's "fallen out of the habit of doing yoga", she brushes her hair so violently that you'd think it owed her
The end result is a hairline as patchy, full of glaring holes and painful to look at as her videos.
Not satisfied, she angrily twists her fucked-up hair into a bun and is apparently ready to start her day.
Ruby grabs a stagnant glass of water that's been gathering dust overnight and chugs it down.
She's once again pretending to read while brushing her teeth, but all she's accomplishing is ruining a perfectly good book. The cover looks new, but the pages are speckled with stains/mold. Ruby spitting all over it for her morning "Oiy'm syoo spashul!" affectation probably isn't helping. This is one of two separate montages of Ruby brushing her teeth while pretending to read in this video.
Remember, Ruby is an avid bookwork who ALWAYS takes care of her books.
After that, it's just ten more minutes of the exact same rehashed shit we've seen in every other video.
Ruby stares at laptops and claims to be REALLY enjoying "STODDYING" while looking so miserable you'd think she were reading a court order forcing her to return the charity money she took.
Ruby waves her eating disorder in everyone's face, lovingly preparing tiny servings of the same 4 ingredients for every "meal" (with peas in Shreddies, naturally). No more than a couple of bites is eaten, and no full, substantial meal is prepared.
The whole video is just the same thing she's shown 5,000 times before, only she looks on the brink of collapse.
It also feels like she's been on Tattle again, because she's fully doubled down on the denial and contradictions while attempting to address and debunk the criticisms from here in the most laughably lazy and unbelievable ways.
Ruby pretends she doesn't actually hate her pets, even though she instantly forgets that one of her dogs died last year (that or she just reused months-old narration). When she's playing with her dog with her mum, she obviously never does this usually and just parrots all the things her mum says and does with the dog.
Ruby: "Breaks are VARRY important!"
Also Ruby: "Breaks should be productive. Here's 95 hours of tasks crammed into one fabricated day, good luck keeping up with me while also taking breaks!"
Ruby: "I ALWAYS loiyke tyoo disinFACT moiy laptop AVVERY noight as part of moiy daily rootineee." (Lazily swabs a couple of patches of her laptop outer shell.)
Meanwhile:
Ruby: "My room is VARRY cold ALL THE TOIYME!"
Also Ruby: (Leaves the curtains on her single-glazed, no insulation windows open overnight to let all the cold air in, so that she can "wake up with the sun"...only to wake up hours after sunrise and immediately open all the windows.)
Ruby: "I need things to be clean. I can't concentrate if it's messy."
Meanwhile:
Ruby spends a tonne of time telling us she's always hyper-productive and accomplishes many things all day, and ALWAYS HONESTLY gets engrossed in her work and distracted from the world around her because she's enjoying it SYO MOCH, and she's getting ALL THE WAHHRK done on her dissertation. But she shows no evidence of any of that. Then later complains that she has trouble staying focused on things.
Ruby: "YASS, this video was filmed across tyoo days becoss my grandparents were hyarr and it wouldn't be reFLACKtive of moiy actual day otherwise."
What about every single other daily routine or "day in my life" video that was filmed across multiple days/months? Do your grandparents visit you every single day, no matter where you are?
If she'd been saying from the beginning of these vlogs, "I have a lot of shit to do that I can't film, or things that filming would distract me from, so this is more of a recreation of a day in my life than an uninterrupted record of an actual day" then nobody would've mentioned it.
Instead, she fabricates a timeline where she has 76 hours of productivity crammed into a single day to make all her young, naĂŻve fans jealous that they can't accomplish as much, and will inevitably work themselves sick trying. And Ruby once again addresses criticism with 3% truth, 97% lies. This video is like 4+ days of footage. In the first time she's ever acknowledged filming on multiple days, Ruby admits to only two.
And she's lying to herself, as well.
She complains throughout this video that she finds it hard to concentrate in the afternoon, or can't be productive at bedtime. It's lunacy, and Ruby handwaves her inability to concentrate or stay focused for the majority of the day away as just a sign to switch to different "tahhsks". She doesn't consider the glaring ED-lephant in the room as the root cause of her brain's inability to function or focus.
She doesn't mention her bizarre compulsion to always be at least pretending to be busy (while accomplishing nothing) as a stupidly misguided and toxic thing.
She shows yet again that, alongside the 689 planners, trackers and to-do lists she claims to use, she's going to make another one for overall tasks.
But she makes sure to include things she's already completed so that she can instantly cross them off and reward herself undeservedly to fool herself into thinking she's not floundering, and trick the audience into thinking she's accomplishing big things very quickly.
She's fully committed to childhood regression again, and casually mentions that she goes to say good morning multiple times to her parents in the same two hour morning, as though she's terrified they'll run away the second she leaves the room. Then her mummy indulges her with tea parties in the garden while she dresses like a child.
Ruby confused her "Writing for Children" module with the "Writing to Traumatise Children" module, judging by the nightmare illustrations she shows.
Her book is a Christmas story for kids, but Ruby clearly just drew an alien in a wig:
She aims to hand this in as her final assignment for university and not only pass, but get a first.
And her dissertation isn't looking any better, either, since she's still trying to build it around stolen ideas she's cribbed from Liz Stanley and that AI "let the algorithm do your research for you" app Genei (which she advertises, yet makes no mention of her relationship with the brand or that they're a paid sponsor of her).
It's no wonder she keeps having to rewrite this shit after every meeting with her dissertation supervisor, but Ruby still hasn't solved the core problem that this barely-tangential nonsense has almost nothing to do with English Literature.
And this is why we'll never get another Dissertation Diary. She's still no further ahead than she was months ago.
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CatCafe234
VIP Member
And the daddy bit … let’s just say that people got a bit thirsty at the height of lockdown. It was not our proudest moment.
. Generously priced for 99p in a charity shop.
teflonpanda
Chatty Member
While Mother Granger waits round the corner at the local Cambodian pizza hut, telling everyone who will listen about her menopause. Meanwhile, Daddy Bones can maybe use the trip for some business opportunities, or go surfing on the beach. ("My parents just happened to have an appointment in Cambodia that very week, so they varry kindly offered to drive me there! I am genuinely syoo excited for this exciting opportunity of going to Cambodia and teaching the Cambodian children about English literature because I do think that education is syo, syo important!" *grimacing smile*)
Mr.Mistoffelees
Chatty Member
Ruby: I had coffee for the first time ever today!!!
Also Ruby, literally one second later: I've always hated the taste of coffee.
The math ain't mathing
Also Ruby, literally one second later: I've always hated the taste of coffee.
The math ain't mathing
gossip_guy
VIP Member
It's Easter Monday, the last few hours of the long Bank Holiday in the UK are upon us.
Maybe you were stressed that you had a lot of work and studying to get done over the break. If so, Ruby's here, right on time, several days late, to show you how to plan out your Easter studying schedule, just in case you find yourself travelling back in time four days to when this video might have been useful to someone.
It's a planning video that wasn't well planned, containing planning that is woefully inefficient and stupid, so of course Ruby resorts to advertising "Nyotion".
"Syo I'm hyaar on moiy Nyotion page. I'm varry proud of moiy Nyotion SATTUP," Ruby says, even though her Notion page looks like some godawful outdated relic from the early days of the internet, when website graphic design was in its infancy and gifs were the hottest new thing.
As well as taking a child's approach to decorating her Notion page, Ruby has used it as yet another intensely creepy shrine to fictional children. The top banner prominently features Year 1 Hermione at her smuggest and most insufferable, while a monolithic gif of Anne of Green Gables looking hopelessly bored takes up a third of the page.
So motivational! This combination of images does at least capture Ruby's two major emotional states: Smug as can be and bored as fuck.
In celebration of Easter, Ruby has unintentionally raised a chicken and egg conundrum: Did Ruby model her new perpetually bored and disdainful look after this gif she found of Anne, who she imitates in every way she can, or did she post this because she's perpetually bored and disdainful and this animated image of one of her fictional child idols depicts how she sees herself: 13 years old and horribly dissatisfied with everything.
Motivational quotes on planners aren't unusual, but the way Ruby has phrased this most definitely is. Generally people just put a quote, along with attribution to the person who said it. Like:
"Acimen's writing is rich and quiscent." - Ruby "Granger".
Generally people don't put "Here's a good line from Jonathon H. Whoeverthefuck" before quotes. Who is Ruby writing this reminder note to? One of her imaginary friends? Ruby offers no insight to herself as to what she finds "good" about the line. Presumably she took it far too literally, and assumed Nietzsche meant, "Be cruel, then have a party." Which would explain why she treats her fanbase like shit and steals from charities, then merrily twirls around her garden.
She did at least put "Work" in inverted commas, which implies she's to some degree aware of how little effort she puts into anything. But we've established before that she has no idea how quotation marks work, so...
Ruby says you should start with "tyoo dyoo lists". Ruby claims to write like 653 to-do lists a day and clearly none of them help her stay organised in any way. Her YouTube schedule is non-existent, she's behind on all her work and her life is a crumbling mess in every conceivable way. But I'm sure one extra to-do list will turn it all around.
She outlines all the work she has due:
Her dissertation is due on the 5th May.
Her "children's...litruchurr...writing...WAHHRRK" is also due, comprising of a 2,000 words "ASS-ay" and a "pwartfyolio" made up of a 4,500 word "ACKStract" and a "500 wahrd pitcherbook".
"AND awwhl of that's due in loike the span of 48 hours," she says, as though she's been given an insurmountable task.
But...that doesn't mean you only have a 48 hour timespan to get it done, Ruby. There may be multiple deadlines close to each other, but that's the finish line. You've had over a year to plan up to that. How can you still be so staggeringly disorganised and behind every time for everything, yet still think you're in any position to tell other people how to plan their academic work?
Here's a more accurate and fitting gif for your Notion page, Ruby:
It's easy to see why Ruby finds Notion and her complex, convoluted system of planners, to-do lists, notebooks, schedules, calendars, alarms and carrier pigeon reminders so useful. I mean, where would she be without this to-do list she's crafted, which reminds her that for an essay, she needs to write multiple paragraphs and a conclusion? It's not like that's the basics of an essay are easy to remember after four years of university or anything.
Ruby points out for the billionth time that she LOVES classical music, even though she doesn't know what classical music is and just assumes it's any instrumental song featuring a piano.
Ruby's got deadlines fast approaching, is behind in all her work and ill-prepared and struggling with all of it. So, rather than sit down and do it, Ruby is going to plan her study playlist, because she seems to be under the impression that unearthing just the right song from the soundtrack to a movie she has never seen might unlock some part of her feeble brain that actually functions.
She violently and obnoxiously wags her finger around like she's erratically trying to conduct six different invisible orchestras.
She shows her laptop screen, and it's once again encrusted in layers of filth, grime, dust and fingerprints (even though this still isn't a touchscreen). I'm not sure why this would be the case, since Ruby ALWAYS disin-FACTS her laptop and everything else in a five mile radius several times a day and would NAVVER, AVVER lie...
The end result after lots of time-lapse footage of her updating her playlists is that Ruby is going to listen to essentially all the same songs as she has for the past few years, only she's now added the Band of Brothers score. Another soundtrack to another piece of film/TV that Ruby has never watched and doesn't fit study sessions in any way. But it features a piano, and that's good enough for Ruby!
Ruby LYOVES NYOTION and has used it for YAHHRS, but according to the tabs she accidentally left on-screen, she apparently has to Google how to add gifs into her Notion page. Remember when Ruby made multiple wholes video about how amazing Notion is, sponsored and paid for by Notion, in which Ruby raved about how easy-to-use and intuitive Notion is? And she can't even figure out how to add a gif into a page without assistance and research.
She also plans to embed her Spotify playlist into her Notion page. Why? No reason, other than Ruby's brain doesn't work. Naturally, she couldn't figure out how to embed her Spotify playlist into Notion (presumably because nobody would ever have any real reason to do that) and had to Google that, too, although she conveniently doesn't mention that.
Additional stupidity is revealed: Ruby's dissertation deadline is the 5th May. She's given herself the deadline of 30th April, for some reason. I mean, sure, it's great if you can have all your work done a while before the deadline so you can stop worrying about it quicker. But Ruby has supposedly been working on her dissertation for a year and a half. She didn't start writing it until a few weeks ago and is already on her seventh draft, which highlights how much of a mess this whole thing is, because she never used any of that planning time wisely, didn't structure it properly and still stupidly planned for a PhD-level piece of work at Undergrad level.
But putting aside her utter lack of common sense and planning, setting internal deadlines when you're already behind and stressed isn't going to help. It's just going to mean you just created an additional, much closer deadline to stress about for the same piece of work. Because she's inevitably not going to be done by 30th April.
Speaking of profoundly stupid and inefficient uses of time, Ruby yet again claims she ALWAYS uses her "MAHHHSTER TYO-DYOO LIST" in addition to all the lists on Notion that serve the same purpose. Ruby has proven time and time again that she rarely, if ever uses her own products outside of promotional ads, but the fact that she's even suggesting this redundant bullshit as a smart use of time is ridiculous.
Ruby adds lists within lists, including some "jarneral" tasks for self-care.
Her personal priorities include "not forgetting that it is spring".
She also apparently needs to remind herself to spend time with family, even though she spends every waking moment trying to figure out a way to reattach her umbilical cord to her mother and won't go four minutes without calling her, writing to her or throwing a tantrum if she strays too far.
Ruby loves studying so much that she has to write entire journal tasks telling herself to enjoy it. If you hate something so much that it stresses you beyond anything else, the solution isn't to just force yourself to enjoy it.
She launches into a condescending rambling diatribe about how education is a choice, and you could technically give up if you wanted, but instead you could give yourself a reminder of why you should continue.
She goes off on a tangent about burnout and says that she read somewhere (and thus took as gospel) the idea that burnout isn't working yourself too hard to the point of mental/physical exhaustion, but burnout is just not seeing productive results from working too hard. It's okay to work 24 hours a day and destroy yourself mentally and physically, just as long as you're seeing some minor improvement or reward from your work, because Ruby read it from some unnamed source. What a fucking moron.
What's worse is that Ruby herself, now that she can't steal other people's ideas and has actually had to do her own work for her dissertation, just constantly looks utterly done.
She visibly hates studying, does everything she can to avoid doing her own work and spent all of university adhering to an assembly-line system of joylessly constructing essays from other people's ideas, thoughts and work while avoiding reading the main texts. The only thing she gets out of it is the hollow praise from strangers on the internet who believe her lies and think she's some gifted, diligent genius who can work 37 hours in a 24 hour day.
And she still keeps lying here.
Yet again, despite all evidence to the contrary, Ruby claims she just reminds herself that she enjoys studying and that it is important to her and that does the trick.
Ruby says she couldn't work as much or as hard as she does, or get the grades that she does if she didn't enjoy it. Firstly, people find success in things they hate all the time. Second, Ruby doesn't work as much or as hard as she claims. She doesn't mention that she lies about the extent to which she reads, studies, or the fabricated timescales of her daily vlogs, and so on. She just omits that and humble-brags that she is seeing massive success from working hard despite the stress, because she enjoys it.
So if you're feeling burnt out and ready to quit and put your time to better use doing something you enjoy and are passionate about, instead just force yourself to enjoy it and "change the way you study" to make yourself like it.
And if your unsure what it's like to enjoy studying, why not try looking in a mirror when doing essay work. You'll know you're having fun when you start pulling this face at all times:
Ruby keeps rambling. She says she found studying stressful at times, but just said to herself, "WOW! You have the opportunity to study for three years at uni and learn about English! How cool is that?" (Reminder: Ruby has studied English for three years at uni and still cannot speak basic English.)
She also claims to "understand how the world works on a molecular level" because she studied science at A-Level...
It's all just lies. Ruby never learns anything. She never challenges herself. She doesn't love literature, she doesn't understand language and never cares to improve at it. I don't know if she's lying to herself or just her audience, but it's all just a pointless waste of time.
Ruby tosses together some "break ideas", and it's some of the same nonsense from that study break video she did. She reminds herself to get some tea, even though she is a self-described "tea aficionado", but does not remind herself to eat anything at all. She reminds herself to read a chapter of her own book for some reason. And she reminds herself to learn a poem by heart, which is just studying if you have to force yourself to do it.
She specifies that you should have breaks to relax but combine them with study breaks within your study session which contain activities which contribute to your studies, which, yet again, is not a fucking break, Ruby. Good lord.
Ruby moves on to study snack recommendations, but this is just a thinly-veiled ad section.
She uncovers one of the weird food stashes that she hides around her room like a complete fucking lunatic, like she has some debilitating fear that home invaders will break in to steal all of her bland and tasteless snack bars if they're left out in the open.
She pulls three boxes of snack bars from under her bed.
She mentions that two of the boxes were "koindlee" sent to her by Misfits. The other box is from Perkier, and Ruby says that "Parkier bars" are her "parsonal favourite". She fails to mention, however, that these were also gifted to her by Perkier. She also fails to mention that she has a long-standing business relationship with Perkier:
She hasn't bothered mentioning this relationship, or declaring any of the gifted snack bars from them that she shoehorns into all her videos, for month on end.
As well as being a lying scumbag, she's an irresponsible one as well; she highlights all the gifted snack bars as great study food but yet again never attempts to recommend eating substantial, nutritious meals.
More lies come as Ruby once more makes the hilariously stupid claim that she uses both her academic and yearly planners from PONKIN' PRODOCKTIVTEE, because she wants to try to fool people into buying both from her. Both planners look suspiciously pristine, as though she never touches them beyond fabricating some entries for the sake of Instagram ads.
Her nails look like crap yet again. They're painted, but have that strange, perfect line of black filth around the fingernails, like she painted over a layer of dirt.
Speaking of dirt, Ruby claims she's going to clean her "DASK" because it's "a little bit clottered" and she wants it to be "a really gud space forrr WAHRKING".
When people say "a little bit cluttered", generally you think there's like, some stray papers, a charger cable and what-not lying around. Not several festering, filthy mugs and cups, or multiple porridge bowls that have been left in the sun for at least the entire video.
And "a good place to work" should include a suitable chair, not a ratty, torn and grimy armchair with no proper back support. By all means, get use out of the chair, but at least clean it up a little or put a throw cover on it, and don't use it for prolonged desk use when it's not designed for that.
Ruby lies some more, saying that she REALLY likes cleaning her desk often with disinfectant. She stresses this lie with a weird claw-like hand gesture:
The irony of her lying about how clean she likes to keep everything while her hands are visibly covered in filth? Priceless.
She goes downstairs on a hunt for the cleaning supplies she never uses and is surprised by something in the kitchen.
Off-screen, she probably called the police and screamed that there was a stranger intruding in her home. Then after much explanation and reminding Ruby that she's not an only child, she finally remembered that she has a sister.
It's just Martha, who is also home and apparently filming a video, too. That sounds infinitely more watchable than the shitshow Ruby has cobbled together, but sadly Martha hasn't uploaded that and says she probably never will.
Ruby's back in her room and has probably already forgotten Martha exists again, since object permanence is probably the last thing Ruby's withered peanut brain is capable of understanding. After pretending she cleans regularly, while just swiping the main surface of her desk with a cloth and calling it a day, she magically changes outfits.
She then gets to work with more redundant busywork, planning things she's already planned with daily schedules, with alarm reminders alongside it. Reminder: Ruby claims to do this kind of bullshit every single day, yet is constantly disorganised, behind with work and never learns to plan any more efficiently than wasting her time with nonsense like this.
In a contradictory ramble of an outtro, Ruby says that it's important that people remember that studying and academia is not the be-all, end-all, after spending her entire YouTube career instilling in people the idea that they can never work too hard, gaslighting them with fabricated routines to trick them into thinking it's possible to cram more in a day than is feasible, and that academia is the most important thing ever.
Take care of yourself, Ruby says, after spending months and years subjecting impressionable viewers to recommendations that they should just drink lots of water, small dry snacks and tiny portions of ridiculously stupid "food" while working themselves to death.
"Because studying should be fun!" Ruby says. And then she pulls this face, because Ruby definitely has fun studying:
Maybe you were stressed that you had a lot of work and studying to get done over the break. If so, Ruby's here, right on time, several days late, to show you how to plan out your Easter studying schedule, just in case you find yourself travelling back in time four days to when this video might have been useful to someone.
It's a planning video that wasn't well planned, containing planning that is woefully inefficient and stupid, so of course Ruby resorts to advertising "Nyotion".
"Syo I'm hyaar on moiy Nyotion page. I'm varry proud of moiy Nyotion SATTUP," Ruby says, even though her Notion page looks like some godawful outdated relic from the early days of the internet, when website graphic design was in its infancy and gifs were the hottest new thing.
As well as taking a child's approach to decorating her Notion page, Ruby has used it as yet another intensely creepy shrine to fictional children. The top banner prominently features Year 1 Hermione at her smuggest and most insufferable, while a monolithic gif of Anne of Green Gables looking hopelessly bored takes up a third of the page.
So motivational! This combination of images does at least capture Ruby's two major emotional states: Smug as can be and bored as fuck.
In celebration of Easter, Ruby has unintentionally raised a chicken and egg conundrum: Did Ruby model her new perpetually bored and disdainful look after this gif she found of Anne, who she imitates in every way she can, or did she post this because she's perpetually bored and disdainful and this animated image of one of her fictional child idols depicts how she sees herself: 13 years old and horribly dissatisfied with everything.
Motivational quotes on planners aren't unusual, but the way Ruby has phrased this most definitely is. Generally people just put a quote, along with attribution to the person who said it. Like:
"Acimen's writing is rich and quiscent." - Ruby "Granger".
Generally people don't put "Here's a good line from Jonathon H. Whoeverthefuck" before quotes. Who is Ruby writing this reminder note to? One of her imaginary friends? Ruby offers no insight to herself as to what she finds "good" about the line. Presumably she took it far too literally, and assumed Nietzsche meant, "Be cruel, then have a party." Which would explain why she treats her fanbase like shit and steals from charities, then merrily twirls around her garden.
She did at least put "Work" in inverted commas, which implies she's to some degree aware of how little effort she puts into anything. But we've established before that she has no idea how quotation marks work, so...
Ruby says you should start with "tyoo dyoo lists". Ruby claims to write like 653 to-do lists a day and clearly none of them help her stay organised in any way. Her YouTube schedule is non-existent, she's behind on all her work and her life is a crumbling mess in every conceivable way. But I'm sure one extra to-do list will turn it all around.
She outlines all the work she has due:
Her dissertation is due on the 5th May.
Her "children's...litruchurr...writing...WAHHRRK" is also due, comprising of a 2,000 words "ASS-ay" and a "pwartfyolio" made up of a 4,500 word "ACKStract" and a "500 wahrd pitcherbook".
"AND awwhl of that's due in loike the span of 48 hours," she says, as though she's been given an insurmountable task.
But...that doesn't mean you only have a 48 hour timespan to get it done, Ruby. There may be multiple deadlines close to each other, but that's the finish line. You've had over a year to plan up to that. How can you still be so staggeringly disorganised and behind every time for everything, yet still think you're in any position to tell other people how to plan their academic work?
Here's a more accurate and fitting gif for your Notion page, Ruby:
It's easy to see why Ruby finds Notion and her complex, convoluted system of planners, to-do lists, notebooks, schedules, calendars, alarms and carrier pigeon reminders so useful. I mean, where would she be without this to-do list she's crafted, which reminds her that for an essay, she needs to write multiple paragraphs and a conclusion? It's not like that's the basics of an essay are easy to remember after four years of university or anything.
Ruby points out for the billionth time that she LOVES classical music, even though she doesn't know what classical music is and just assumes it's any instrumental song featuring a piano.
Ruby's got deadlines fast approaching, is behind in all her work and ill-prepared and struggling with all of it. So, rather than sit down and do it, Ruby is going to plan her study playlist, because she seems to be under the impression that unearthing just the right song from the soundtrack to a movie she has never seen might unlock some part of her feeble brain that actually functions.
She violently and obnoxiously wags her finger around like she's erratically trying to conduct six different invisible orchestras.
She shows her laptop screen, and it's once again encrusted in layers of filth, grime, dust and fingerprints (even though this still isn't a touchscreen). I'm not sure why this would be the case, since Ruby ALWAYS disin-FACTS her laptop and everything else in a five mile radius several times a day and would NAVVER, AVVER lie...
The end result after lots of time-lapse footage of her updating her playlists is that Ruby is going to listen to essentially all the same songs as she has for the past few years, only she's now added the Band of Brothers score. Another soundtrack to another piece of film/TV that Ruby has never watched and doesn't fit study sessions in any way. But it features a piano, and that's good enough for Ruby!
Ruby LYOVES NYOTION and has used it for YAHHRS, but according to the tabs she accidentally left on-screen, she apparently has to Google how to add gifs into her Notion page. Remember when Ruby made multiple wholes video about how amazing Notion is, sponsored and paid for by Notion, in which Ruby raved about how easy-to-use and intuitive Notion is? And she can't even figure out how to add a gif into a page without assistance and research.
She also plans to embed her Spotify playlist into her Notion page. Why? No reason, other than Ruby's brain doesn't work. Naturally, she couldn't figure out how to embed her Spotify playlist into Notion (presumably because nobody would ever have any real reason to do that) and had to Google that, too, although she conveniently doesn't mention that.
Additional stupidity is revealed: Ruby's dissertation deadline is the 5th May. She's given herself the deadline of 30th April, for some reason. I mean, sure, it's great if you can have all your work done a while before the deadline so you can stop worrying about it quicker. But Ruby has supposedly been working on her dissertation for a year and a half. She didn't start writing it until a few weeks ago and is already on her seventh draft, which highlights how much of a mess this whole thing is, because she never used any of that planning time wisely, didn't structure it properly and still stupidly planned for a PhD-level piece of work at Undergrad level.
But putting aside her utter lack of common sense and planning, setting internal deadlines when you're already behind and stressed isn't going to help. It's just going to mean you just created an additional, much closer deadline to stress about for the same piece of work. Because she's inevitably not going to be done by 30th April.
Speaking of profoundly stupid and inefficient uses of time, Ruby yet again claims she ALWAYS uses her "MAHHHSTER TYO-DYOO LIST" in addition to all the lists on Notion that serve the same purpose. Ruby has proven time and time again that she rarely, if ever uses her own products outside of promotional ads, but the fact that she's even suggesting this redundant bullshit as a smart use of time is ridiculous.
Ruby adds lists within lists, including some "jarneral" tasks for self-care.
Her personal priorities include "not forgetting that it is spring".
She also apparently needs to remind herself to spend time with family, even though she spends every waking moment trying to figure out a way to reattach her umbilical cord to her mother and won't go four minutes without calling her, writing to her or throwing a tantrum if she strays too far.
Ruby loves studying so much that she has to write entire journal tasks telling herself to enjoy it. If you hate something so much that it stresses you beyond anything else, the solution isn't to just force yourself to enjoy it.
She launches into a condescending rambling diatribe about how education is a choice, and you could technically give up if you wanted, but instead you could give yourself a reminder of why you should continue.
She goes off on a tangent about burnout and says that she read somewhere (and thus took as gospel) the idea that burnout isn't working yourself too hard to the point of mental/physical exhaustion, but burnout is just not seeing productive results from working too hard. It's okay to work 24 hours a day and destroy yourself mentally and physically, just as long as you're seeing some minor improvement or reward from your work, because Ruby read it from some unnamed source. What a fucking moron.
What's worse is that Ruby herself, now that she can't steal other people's ideas and has actually had to do her own work for her dissertation, just constantly looks utterly done.
She visibly hates studying, does everything she can to avoid doing her own work and spent all of university adhering to an assembly-line system of joylessly constructing essays from other people's ideas, thoughts and work while avoiding reading the main texts. The only thing she gets out of it is the hollow praise from strangers on the internet who believe her lies and think she's some gifted, diligent genius who can work 37 hours in a 24 hour day.
And she still keeps lying here.
Yet again, despite all evidence to the contrary, Ruby claims she just reminds herself that she enjoys studying and that it is important to her and that does the trick.
Ruby says she couldn't work as much or as hard as she does, or get the grades that she does if she didn't enjoy it. Firstly, people find success in things they hate all the time. Second, Ruby doesn't work as much or as hard as she claims. She doesn't mention that she lies about the extent to which she reads, studies, or the fabricated timescales of her daily vlogs, and so on. She just omits that and humble-brags that she is seeing massive success from working hard despite the stress, because she enjoys it.
So if you're feeling burnt out and ready to quit and put your time to better use doing something you enjoy and are passionate about, instead just force yourself to enjoy it and "change the way you study" to make yourself like it.
And if your unsure what it's like to enjoy studying, why not try looking in a mirror when doing essay work. You'll know you're having fun when you start pulling this face at all times:
Ruby keeps rambling. She says she found studying stressful at times, but just said to herself, "WOW! You have the opportunity to study for three years at uni and learn about English! How cool is that?" (Reminder: Ruby has studied English for three years at uni and still cannot speak basic English.)
She also claims to "understand how the world works on a molecular level" because she studied science at A-Level...
It's all just lies. Ruby never learns anything. She never challenges herself. She doesn't love literature, she doesn't understand language and never cares to improve at it. I don't know if she's lying to herself or just her audience, but it's all just a pointless waste of time.
Ruby tosses together some "break ideas", and it's some of the same nonsense from that study break video she did. She reminds herself to get some tea, even though she is a self-described "tea aficionado", but does not remind herself to eat anything at all. She reminds herself to read a chapter of her own book for some reason. And she reminds herself to learn a poem by heart, which is just studying if you have to force yourself to do it.
She specifies that you should have breaks to relax but combine them with study breaks within your study session which contain activities which contribute to your studies, which, yet again, is not a fucking break, Ruby. Good lord.
Ruby moves on to study snack recommendations, but this is just a thinly-veiled ad section.
She uncovers one of the weird food stashes that she hides around her room like a complete fucking lunatic, like she has some debilitating fear that home invaders will break in to steal all of her bland and tasteless snack bars if they're left out in the open.
She pulls three boxes of snack bars from under her bed.
She mentions that two of the boxes were "koindlee" sent to her by Misfits. The other box is from Perkier, and Ruby says that "Parkier bars" are her "parsonal favourite". She fails to mention, however, that these were also gifted to her by Perkier. She also fails to mention that she has a long-standing business relationship with Perkier:
She hasn't bothered mentioning this relationship, or declaring any of the gifted snack bars from them that she shoehorns into all her videos, for month on end.
As well as being a lying scumbag, she's an irresponsible one as well; she highlights all the gifted snack bars as great study food but yet again never attempts to recommend eating substantial, nutritious meals.
More lies come as Ruby once more makes the hilariously stupid claim that she uses both her academic and yearly planners from PONKIN' PRODOCKTIVTEE, because she wants to try to fool people into buying both from her. Both planners look suspiciously pristine, as though she never touches them beyond fabricating some entries for the sake of Instagram ads.
Her nails look like crap yet again. They're painted, but have that strange, perfect line of black filth around the fingernails, like she painted over a layer of dirt.
Speaking of dirt, Ruby claims she's going to clean her "DASK" because it's "a little bit clottered" and she wants it to be "a really gud space forrr WAHRKING".
When people say "a little bit cluttered", generally you think there's like, some stray papers, a charger cable and what-not lying around. Not several festering, filthy mugs and cups, or multiple porridge bowls that have been left in the sun for at least the entire video.
And "a good place to work" should include a suitable chair, not a ratty, torn and grimy armchair with no proper back support. By all means, get use out of the chair, but at least clean it up a little or put a throw cover on it, and don't use it for prolonged desk use when it's not designed for that.
Ruby lies some more, saying that she REALLY likes cleaning her desk often with disinfectant. She stresses this lie with a weird claw-like hand gesture:
The irony of her lying about how clean she likes to keep everything while her hands are visibly covered in filth? Priceless.
She goes downstairs on a hunt for the cleaning supplies she never uses and is surprised by something in the kitchen.
Off-screen, she probably called the police and screamed that there was a stranger intruding in her home. Then after much explanation and reminding Ruby that she's not an only child, she finally remembered that she has a sister.
It's just Martha, who is also home and apparently filming a video, too. That sounds infinitely more watchable than the shitshow Ruby has cobbled together, but sadly Martha hasn't uploaded that and says she probably never will.
Ruby's back in her room and has probably already forgotten Martha exists again, since object permanence is probably the last thing Ruby's withered peanut brain is capable of understanding. After pretending she cleans regularly, while just swiping the main surface of her desk with a cloth and calling it a day, she magically changes outfits.
She then gets to work with more redundant busywork, planning things she's already planned with daily schedules, with alarm reminders alongside it. Reminder: Ruby claims to do this kind of bullshit every single day, yet is constantly disorganised, behind with work and never learns to plan any more efficiently than wasting her time with nonsense like this.
In a contradictory ramble of an outtro, Ruby says that it's important that people remember that studying and academia is not the be-all, end-all, after spending her entire YouTube career instilling in people the idea that they can never work too hard, gaslighting them with fabricated routines to trick them into thinking it's possible to cram more in a day than is feasible, and that academia is the most important thing ever.
Take care of yourself, Ruby says, after spending months and years subjecting impressionable viewers to recommendations that they should just drink lots of water, small dry snacks and tiny portions of ridiculously stupid "food" while working themselves to death.
"Because studying should be fun!" Ruby says. And then she pulls this face, because Ruby definitely has fun studying:
