Ruby Granger #21 Dirty kitchen, messy car; I wonder where the planners are?

[Deeznutslol]

I remember there used to be an Exeter confessions page where you could do anon submissions and someone wrote this, so I think tbh she’s always been seen as a bit of a joke there. I think this post was too far though.

 

[gossip_guy]

Imagine Ruby getting bullied by Bully Maguire

"I'm gonna put some dirt dust and dead flies in your eye."

While we're on the subject of mind-boggling stupidity and Ruby's house of putrid squalor:

Inside Flood

Some friends were due to come over for a movie night and so I was running about trying to make the house look tidier and clean up before they arrived. I set the Roomba off downstairs and was soaking some dishes in the sink when my mobile rang. I answered but could hardly hear a word, so shut...

www.whatapalaver.co

Ruby's mother's latest blog is up and...as usual, there's a lot to digest.

"Some friends were due to come over for a movie night and so I was running about trying to make the house look tidier and clean up before they arrived. I set the Roomba off downstairs and was soaking some dishes in the sink when my mobile rang. I answered but could hardly hear a word, so shut myself in another room to take the call. Minutes passed and by the time I emerged, there were a couple of inches of water covering the kitchen floor. Argh! I had left the tap running."

As always with Ruby and her mother, stupidity causes a problem that they then wildly and blatantly embellish, but they're never to blame. Her mother's frequent bouts of dangerous idiocy are always framed as someone or something else's fault. Here she was simply too damn busy juggling all that cleaning, getting ready for another Tory Covid-spreader get-together, when some inconsiderate person decided to call her. "Argh!" indeed.

Let's unpeel the layers of stupidity here. "Soaking some dishes" generally means...well, soaking them - leaving them in a still body of soapy water. "Soaking some dishes" does not cranking the taps, standing back and having a glass of wine, which is what is being described as happening here for this whole thing to happen.

Now, we've seen this family's kitchen. We know that zero cleaning takes place. But this tall tale of allegedly unavoidable disaster raises obvious questions.

They have a dishwasher. This is the whole point of owning a dishwasher - for the convenience of being able to load it up and walk away. They're the laziest, most spoilt toffs who ever dodged their taxes. There is zero possibility that given the choice between the option of soaking dishes in the sink before hand-washing them, or just shoving them all in the dishwasher and letting nature take its course, that Ruby or her mother would choose the former.

To prove this point: Mother Granger previously posted a self-congratulatory blog about how she bought - (Gasp!) - an upright vacuum cleaner.

Feminist Housewife

Having lunch with old friends recently, I was told that I am not very feminist because of being super excited about my new 'Hoover' coming today. It is actually a Sebo but I was raised in the seventies and we called all vacuum cleaners 'Hoovers' back then. My friends did point out that it is a...

www.whatapalaver.co

This is evidently used as nothing more than a novelty decoration/beret holder in that house, since Ruby's mother sends a poor underpowered and unprepared Roomba up against the mountainous piles of dirt, grime, dust and god knows what else instead of vacuuming. It's a bit like putting a butter knife in the hands of a malnourished child and sending up against the entire Roman legion alone; that poor bastard is gonna die in seconds.

(Ruby's Roomba, praying for the sweet release of death.)

The fact that Ruby's family let a Roomba handle all their household cleaning explains a lot about how constantly filthy that house is, considering they aren't known to work great on hard surfaces and Ruby's home is all tile and hardwood. But regardless, it's very clearly the lazy option, instead of mopping the kitchen floor or hoovering the living room(s). So the idea that Mother Granger would willingly do dishes by hand when there's a more convenient/lazy option available doesn't make sense. Either she's lying (most likely) or she's an idiot (also a given). It's definitely both.

Now, from the sounds of it, Mother Granger was alone in the kitchen. So what was making so much noise that Mother Granger had to flee the room? Was the noise on the other end of the phone, and Ruby's mother's just a complete moron trying to escape it by changing her location? Or is cleanliness such an alien concept in their house that the sound of running water is apparently so unfamiliar and abrasive to Ruby's mother that she had to run away and put a closed door between her and it to be able to hear a phone call?

"The Roomba was stranded roller deep, so I scooped it up and put on the radiator to dry off - not sure that is recommended in the manual."

So...Ruby's mother had the Roomba cleaning the kitchen? Roombas generally don't seem to be especially loud, and there's the obvious solution: If it's making noise and you want it to stop, just switch it off for a few minutes.

And putting plastic objects on old, piping hot steel radiators is always a smart decision that never ends badly.

If Ruby's mother's attention span and object permanence are so non-existent that she'd run away leaving free-flowing water filling a plugged sink and shut herself in another room long enough for the kitchen to flood with water two inches deep on the floor, then it's easy to see where Ruby's complete life incompetence comes from.

"I grabbed some old dog towels and threw them about to soak up the access spillage, when the doorbell rang. I let in my guests, who hardly battered an eyelid when they saw the chaos in front of them."

No fucking shit. If they'd visited your home before, they're undoubtedly well aware of the putrid state of squalor your house is perpetually in. They're more likely to be shocked that anyone in the family was pretending to do housework.

And how many "dog towels" do they own that we're to believe that she mopped up most of a two inch kitchen flood with them?

"Cathy offered to mop up but I said not to worry, as it would most probably evaporate overnight or while we watched the film - she looked dubious."

The state of horrifying mess and filth that infests their home is so commonplace that even the guests are offering to clean, because the people who live there clearly won't.

Ruby's mother believed that two inches of water would just evaporate overnight - if not in two hours - in a house with no modern heating system in the dead of winter.

Again, either she's lying her ass off and this two inch high flood of water was actually a small puddle, or just didn't exist, or she's a colossal moron. It's still both.

"I had hardly a clue what was going on during the latest Bond."

Ruby's mother, to no surprise, is easily confused by a relatively straightforward popcorn action movie.

Another week, another wildly embellished tale of disaster that (if it even happened) was the result of stupidity, but is blamed on the unfair whims of outside forces. This family is too dumb to function.

 

[username21]

Ruby's kicking off the New Year with her latest attempt to sweep this whole "Being a terrible businessperson and terrible person in general" thing under the rug without consequence. It's a new year! A time to forgive and forget the money she owes her customers and various charities!

As the famous song goes: "Should auld monetary pilfering be forgot and never brought to mind?" In Ruby's mind, absolutely. Ruby's a Tory, and they're not supposed to deal with annoying things like comeuppances.

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Ruby starts the year as she means to go on: By clinging to the past and living in squalor.

This is a vlog covering the last few days of the year, Ruby claims. The flowers on her windowsill were delivered to her mid-December and looked near death then. Rub keeps them proudly on display still, even though they look pathetically wilted.

She starts the day by "making her bed" - i.e., pulling a throw over her bed to avoid having to change the sheets or adjust their sloppy hanging-off-the-mattress fit in any way. It's an approach she uses in every aspect of her life: Toss a metaphorical rug over anything messy or unfortunate, like criticism and requests for planner refunds, and hope it magically fixes itself.

"I always use the last few days of the year to REE-SAT and RE-FLACKT," she says, and I assume she means "Reset the Pumpkin Productivity order system to purge all refund requests and complaint emails to avoid dealing with them, and reflect on all the new money in the bank".

"I'm basically trying to do things that will set me up well for the new year," she says, then aptly cuts to a shot of her running full-sprint away from responsibility and consequences.

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Ruby says her morning walk through a muddy field is the highlight of her day, which doesn't sound like a good thing, and she can't have enjoyed it too much since she spent 85% of this walk setting up her camera to film herself walking back and forth from an embarrassing amount of different angles.

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Most of the later shots in the video are the same angle as earlier ones, but Ruby's walking in a different direction. Nothings says "Mindfully enjoying a carefree walk in nature" quite like setting a camera up on a fence, walking twenty feet, turning around and then walking back to collect the camera and then doing this all again multiple times throughout the walk.

She trails off on one of her now-obligatory "walking through fields" casual magic nonsensical diatribes.

"I'm SO aware right now of why I love winter so mOch? I always think it's because I love Christmas aaaand I always think, 'Oh, after Christmas I'm gyowing to bee syooo down in the dumps because Christmas will be ovah, but...gyowing on this walk now, I remember just like I love just...I love winter." (Take a break here to down your headache pills of choice because Ruby's mangling of the English language feels like a violent verbal assault on the cerebral cortex.)

She claims January and February are her new favourite months, but since she says every single month is her new favourite month when it rolls around, this means nothing - it's merely her brain telling her mouth to make sounds just to confirm she's still conscious.

Ruby twirls around in the wind and mud and rants how much the weather reminds her how much she loves Winter. Only...this isn't Winter weather. This is British weather. Wet, windy, cloudy and muddy? That's the weather you get in the UK most of the year.

"Last January when I was just going on these walks every morning, I got into the habits of going on these walks every morning."

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Rubes, this is your latest reminder that the body requires nutrients for the brain to function.

When you don't eat for long periods of time, the speech centre of your starved, barely-functional brain offers up shit like, "Back when I was doing that thing I was doing, I was doing that thing I was doing!" And the now-impaired judgement centre of your brain thinks, "Sounds good to me! Lets say that out loud and share it online!" The end result is this embarrassing video.

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Ruby says that taking a walk in December reminds her of all those walks she took in January. No fucking shit. You were walking in the exact same field, because you never leave home. It's a guaranteed recipe for déjà vu.

She says the walk is "really meditative" because she doesn't listen to music and lets herself think. And if this is the level of insightful thoughts she comes up with, she should really start taking headphones to drown that nonsense out.

After more footage of her walking through fields that goes on for far too long (Ruby resorts to time-lapse for half of it, and even then it drags on pointlessly), she's back home.

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"LOOK how muddy my legs got." You aimed for every muddy puddle like a hyperactive 4 year old, what did you think would happen?

And those can't be jeans, right, Ruby? Because you made a preachy point in a recent video about how you don't own and never wear those, so this must be some kind of mistake, surely?

Ruby's going to get changed because her clothes are wet and "moddy", but first she points out that she's listening to The Cinematic Orchestra.

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Rather than just telling people what album it is, she awkwardly just shows her screen. Strange, no? Almost as if she's conspicuously showing her screen to display the date. Y'know, the date on your phone that you can very easily change to pretend it's a different date...? That or she saw French on the album art and wisely didn't attempt to pronounce it, even though the English translation is right there.

As sloppy editing causes her sentences to overlap each other, Ruby says one of the things she does at the end of every year is to compile a memory video of the best things that happened that year.

Since Ruby never steps outside her comfort zone or try anything new whatsoever, she can (and probably will) just recycle last year's video. Contents will include:

• Spent 90% of the academic year with parents.
• Spent 98.5% of time in Exeter with Blakeney.
• Frolicked in fields behind house.
• Got lots of money through questionable means.
• Browsed Waterstones. Touched everything. Bought nothing.

And that's about it.

She makes more tea, because in Ruby's mind it's a great substitute for food.

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Then Ruby tries to place her tea strainer back on its holder thing. I say "try", because somehow even placing a light tea strainer in a clearly visible holder proves taxing for her. She misses by inches, acts confused, then has to try again.

There's major "Fry misses the big red button" vibes from Ruby failing at the most simple hand-eye coordination task:



Ruby, this is your latest reminder that the body requires nutrients for the brain to function.

When you don't eat for long periods of time, the part of the brain that controls coordination of visual perception and fine motor control starts failing to work as well. This means your eyes see something, your brain tells your hands, "Sure, dude, it's right there! Go for it!", when really it's not "right there" at all. It's 6 inches west of "there".

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The thing you definitely want to see a person with impaired motor functions and non-existent attention span doing is playing with fire.

Ruby has almost set herself and her desk on fire several times before, by spilling nail polish all over a desk with burning candles on it, or by waving her sweater over naked flames because she wasn't paying attention to her immediate surroundings.

Here, she lights a match and while holding it in the air, burning, she gets distracted and starts reading the matchbox.

Ruby mentally adds an achievable goal to her 2022 goals list:

Though this isn't a 'What I got for Christmas' video, Ruby randomly starts mentioning things she got for Christmas. A candle from her cousin. Gold tea cups (because Ruby loves gold, in case her willingness to do or say anything for more money didn't give that away).

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Apparently her parents bought her multiple of these for when she has tea parties for her friends, which she claims happens often.

It's assumed that this is a children's tea party situation and all the guests are imaginary.

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While Ruby's pulling out random gifts that she got, she posts a lengthy disclaimer on-screen.

She's not doing this to show off, but lots of people asked what she got for Christmas, apparently. So...make a video about that if it's in high demand, Ruby. That's what a content creator does: Give their audience what they ask for.

If you don't want to, or feel conflicted, don't do that. If you couldn't be bothered, make an Instagram story or post. But be consistent. This isn't a gift haul video. Interrupting an unrelated video that's supposed to be about you preparing for the New Year to show off expensive trinkets you were given is especially blatant, and the very definition of showing off.

It's like if you were talking to someone about their plans for the weekend, and then mid-conversation, apropos of nothing, they just opened their wallet and just showed you their wads of cash, mentioned that there's a lot more where that came from, then defensively said "I'm not showing off."

Christmas isn't about gifts, she stresses in her disclaimer, it's about family. But she didn't veer this video off-course to tell viewers about what she did with her family over Christmas, did she? She did it to show off her gold-covered gifts.

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Her mother got her another beret. She mentions that she never considered herself a hat person until Blakeney pointed out that she wears a lot of hats. Note that Blakeney did not say this was a flattering habit, only that she wore them a lot.

Wearing a beret, pearl necklace and holding a gold china tea cup, she could not look more like a pampered rich girl cliché. And she keeps rattling off gifts she got. Hot water bottles, sewing machines, tea light holders.

She says her sister Martha got her the sewing machine because Ruby wants to make her own clothes. Ruby can't even iron her own clothes, there's no chance she'll bother learning make them from scratch. Ruby's mother got her an embroidery kit last year, and that still goes unused.

Ruby also mentions that Martha got her a shark adoption/tracking gift so she can GPS track a shark in the Bahamas. Because, as you know, Ruby's a STAUNCH PROPONENT of shark conservation. You can tell by the way she made one slapdash video about it a year and a half ago, never mentioned it again until she got this gift and then quickly reposted someone else's shark conservation Insta story a couple of days ago.

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After briefly considering work for another Dickens essay that's due in two weeks, Ruby decides to write some meandering essays in thankyou cards instead.

Pro tip, Ruby: If you want to thank someone, don't do it by giving them even more pages of your inane drivel to wade through to start the new year. Give them the gift of leaving them the fuck alone for a while.

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In her third outfit for this "day", Ruby goes for a run to the post box. Because if anything's a good idea when you're malnourished and haven't eaten all day, it's subjecting your body to strenuous exercise.

When she's back, it's time to clear old SD cards. Doesn't seem very efficient, since Ruby regularly needs access to all that old footage to recycle it in videos and try to pass it off as new, but anyway.

When she's done with that, she says she's going to help her mum tidy "the snug", which is apparently their name for one of their 473 living rooms, and then--

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Umm... Hey, Rubes...? The fuck is this?

Ruby casually pans around the "snug" to reveal she owns a child's primary school desk and it's kept up the corner so she can pretend to be a nine year old in detention.

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If that weren't unsettling enough, Ruby opens the fucking thing to reveal that she's adorned it with Harry Potter clippings and stocked it with childish items such as a Matilda pencil case.

Without a trace of irony, sarcasm or self-awareness, she proudly says that her new desk organisation "genuinely looks SO good".

Ruby is a twenty-one year old woman. She bought a child's bed. Dresses like a child most of the time. Reads children's books exclusively. She idolises fictional children and tapes their photos all over her walls. And now this. Adopting the lifestyle of a prepubescent child is not a fun personality quirk. It's a creepy-as-fuck sign of serious mental instability.

Ruby claims that some of the desk's contents are her mum's. Not buying it, Ruby.

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It's suddenly a new day, but old habits burn bright - quite literally - as Ruby goes pyro again.

After narrowly avoiding setting something on fire again, she says she's finishing off Vee Kativhu's book 'Empowered'. It's taken her so long to (pretend to) read it because she was simply too busy with (pretending to read) Christmas literature and poetry, which can only be read in December. According to Goodreads, the only other thing Ruby read (or pretended to read) in December besides Vee's book was A Tale of Two Cities.

But let's go back to Goodreads for a second.

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Firstly, this review is terrible, and if this is the level of critical skill she applies at university, it's a wonder she hasn't failed out by now.

Now, obviously, a Goodreads review doesn't need to be an in-depth critical essay, but this vague, incompetently-written "review" tells almost nothing about the book, and like all Ruby's reviews, seems written by someone who read no more than the cover blurb.

Ruby makes grand, sweeping statements about the book, but gives zero examples.

"She gives practical advice, but also (and more importantly) shares kind and encouraging words."

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This sentence could apply to almost any self-help book, and no examples or further details are given, because Ruby clearly didn't read it.

"Elements are heartbreaking (especially since we know and love Vee so much)..." Do we, Ruby? Not everyone knows who Vee is. You might know her because you share the same management team, which is likely the only reason you've written this "review" (and your relationship to Vee is also something you should absolutely be declaring in a glowingly positive review, but you clearly left that part out). But you are not the focal point of the universe. Most people have no idea who Vee is, as evidenced by her book having almost no reviews.

"...and show's why..." And which year of an English lit degree are you in again, Ruby? What's that apostrophe doing there?

"...Vee shows how she turns everything into lemons and then lemonade."

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Ruby, the expression "turning lemons into lemonade" is a metaphor for taking a bad situation (a bitter lemon) and turning it into something positive (sweet lemonade). If Vee "turns everything into lemons and then lemonade", you're saying she's taking a good situation, creating her own problems and then fixing them. Sounds stupid, doesn't it? Have you considered taking an indefinite vow of silence? Clearly the whole language thing is an uphill struggle for you.

"All young people should read this." That's a bold statement, Rubert. Literally every single young person should read it? Yet you only rated it 4/5? It's almost as though...you didn't read the book, had nothing to say because you didn't read the book, gave the book an overwhelmingly positive review which made no mention of the obvious bias and conflict of interest you have since you know the author, and then took a star off (without anything in the review to justify this lower rating) to pre-empt any claims of this being a shady, fake positive review.

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The book could be great, I have no idea. I don't know anything about Vee other than she's an influencer repped by the same agency as Ruby, Jack Edwards (who also gave it an even-more-vague 5 star review without declaring his link to Vee), Eve Cornwell and Jade Bowler.

But I'm instantly suspicious of any book where the cover pull quotes are all from the author's friends/influencer pals. And when all talent repped by the same agency as her, who were all invited to a launch party event and gifted free books, are out there dropping positive reviews without declaring their relationship to her, this makes this whole affair and everyone involved look suspicious as fuck. Vee's book currently has only ten reviews. Two are from her agency peers. They're both glowingly positive, and neither mention their ties to Vee.

That said, this is a Ruby video recap, so let's get back to that.

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Ruby marked the book as complete at 3:46am on December 29th...

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Now, putting aside the fact that Ruby ain't going to be awake and reading at nearly 4am even if she did read things, here she is, still reading (or pretending to read) the book's final chapters at sunrise on December 29th:

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The sun rises between 07:00 and 08:00 in the UK currently.

Make it make sense, Ruby.

Also, please note the "framed" picture to the right of her. Ruby not only seems to think pictures go on the outside of already occupied picture frames, instead of, y'know, inside them...but she's also just slapped a bit of tape in only a couple of corners, so the picture's hanging off. So aesthetic!

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After another outfit change, there's footage of Ruby putting her coat and hat on that goes on forever.

And then she goes trudging around in the muddy fields again.

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(Pictured: Ruby with all the Pumpkin Productivity customers who received their planners on time.)

And since she's back in the field again, of course we get an obligatory casual magic ramble.

"I LOVE mist. Mist might be my favourite weather, maybe even more than snow. Probably even more than rain, and THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING because I love rain." Why does Ruby do this? Why does every new thing she encounters have to be her FAVOURITE? Same reason she constantly claim she ALWAYS does things she never does: Narcissists and compulsive liars often exaggerate and lie about the tiniest things for attention or just for no reason at all. Everything's a competition, and Ruby always has to win, even if the only other opponent is her last remaining brain cell.

After another outfit change (her third outfit of the "day"), Ruby shows off a sad, tiny piece of toast and a small, Shrek-green smoothie.

Spoiler: TW: Ruby's "Food"

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She manically points and flails her hand around like she's trying to perform a magic trick. It's partially effective: She's made her integrity disappear.

She eats her tiny, portion of toast and then reveals she's drinking three drinks at once, because that's entirely normal and not at all a bizarre substitute for actual food. In addition to her smoothie, she also has a cup of tea and a glass of water.

Then it's time for her to work on that Dickens essay she cast aside the day before.

"It's nine thirty...let's get cracking," she says, with zero enthusiasm.

She eats a tiny orange/satsuma and makes a point to shove a clock in the frame for a time-lapse.

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Why would anyone do this, unless they're trying to prove something or impress someone? They wouldn't. It also means nothing, since clocks can be easily adjusted to show whatever time you want. But clearly Ruby's been reading Tattle and getting defensive.

"I've responded to some emails," she says. Only a month late with those Pumpkin Productivity emails, huh?

She's also going to subject another family member to a meandering thankyou card.

Ruby's family every time they get post:

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This time she's going to pad out the card by sending her granddad a framed photo. Now, remember the part where she displayed a baffling inability to use photo frames?

Well, she hasn't exactly improved with time.

She places the frame face-down on the desk. Takes off the back of the frame. Puts the photo in. So far so good!

Now all that's left is to pop the back cover back in, and--

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For some reason, instead of doing that, Ruby decides the pick the entire thing up by its unsecured glass pane. Why? I have no fucking idea. But the whole thing collapses in her hand and falls apart and then she abruptly cuts away.

Ruby, this is your latest reminder that the body requires nutrients for the brain to function.

"I wrote a card to a...com-pany THAT..."

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"I wrote a card to a...com-pany THAT...parcel to my granddad."

Ohhh, "accompany"...

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You really out here just using language any which wrong way you feel like, huh, Ruby?

Ruby inserts bizarre pauses and alien cadence into her sentence and still pronounces it "a-com-panny", not "a-cum-panny".

After mangling the English language some more, she moves on to just general stupidity.

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So...Ruby apparently has essays to write. And she also keeps going on about how much she values time with her family. And here she is, alone in her room, writing up notes in Notion for Vee's book for herself. A book she didn't actually read.

She appears to be flicking through the pristine, unread book, grabbing random passages and transcribing random "thoughts"/quotes into Notion. Who is this for? What purpose does this serve? I mean, her Goodreads review certainly didn't benefit from any of this. Why's she treating the random book she was gifted and pretended to read like it's an essay?

She even whips out the clock to show off how much time she claims to be wasting on this performative insanity. It's staggeringly stupid.

Then she moves onto her "New Year's Resolutions", which she wrote in November.

As a tribute to Ruby, I'll recycle my comments for this page from back when she first unveiled it. Although, since I'm being honest about it, that's not very Ruby at all. Whoops.

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She evidently has no clue what the word "yearly" means, since two thirds of this "yearly planner" section is taken up with space to detail your wish list for life in five years or just the distant future.

Ruby has filled hers with goals that are either laughably unattainable (for her, at least) or where the bar is so low that it'll be hard not to accomplish ("Publish an article "somewhere"" - y'know, like a blog. Done! "Read Emma by Jane Austen" - Ruby will read the Sparknotes summary and mark this done.)

She's also set herself up for disappointment by expecting a first for her degree, even though she's struggling to meet deadlines or come up with even a basic foundation for her dissertation. Good luck with the Masters thing, Ruby!

Ruby thinks she can get a book deal, even though her dwindling popularity and vanishing relevance takes her out of the running for a vanity book deal, and no way can she get one on her own merits. Considering her lack of talent, her inability to use language coherently and the book she self-published being a major red flag to publishers, I wouldn't count on this happening, if I were her.

"Work with an anti-bullying charity."

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Why this is still on her list after the anti-bullying week disaster (any proof that any of the ad revenue for those videos went to charity yet, Ruby?) and her own fabricated history of bullying is a mystery, but she should probably avoid walking through that PR minefield again.

"Tangibly promote letter-writing"? What nonsense is this?

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After the old resolutions, she adds some more.

• "Read more selectively." Ruby doesn't read anything as it is, aside from children's books. That's about as selective as it gets already.
• "Try and declutter significantly." This is on her list every year. Her home is always a shithole and nothing changes.
• "Develop a better night routine." What is her obsession with night routines?
• "Donate 10% of everything I earn." This has been suggested to her countless times on here whenever she gets all preachy about charity while doing nothing charitable. She won't even give charities back the money she took from them. She ain't going to give them her own money, too. The fact that she's put this as a future goal instead of just doing it right away with nothing stopping her is as big a sign as any.
• "Do more charity work/volunteering." Another suggestion that's been thrown at her on Tattle. She won't actually do this. She will move the goalposts, consider a reposted Insta story to be "charity work" and consider this done.

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"Fully enjoy my last term." This year, Ruby has avoided campus as much as possible, complained about how much she hates studying on campus, is constantly falling behind with uni work and has generally appeared miserable at uni. Off to a great start, Ruby! Remember the "academic resolutions" she set (go home less, embrace uni culture, etc.) and gave up on in a day? This is that again.

"Send articles to magazines and competitions." Ruby employing the "If I send my drivel literally everywhere, someone will eventually read and publish it!" desperation approach.

"Work with Royal Mail." This doesn't mean Ruby will actually do any work or attempt to get a job at Royal Mail (or anywhere). She will just try to court a partnership deal for them to pay her to made shit-quality paid ads where she offers "Did you know?" historically inaccurate facts about the postal service and letter writing.

"Get a first for my degree." Why? This is out of your control, Ruby. Just put "Work to the best of my ability" and be happy with what you get instead of peddling this nonsense to people. And since you regularly cut every corner you can to avoid doing the work, a first isn't something you're entitled to or deserve.

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Her 'Things to Do in 2022' list is a similar mix of 'can't fail' tasks, obvious shit that she needs to do anyway ("Complete my dissertation"? You need to do that anyway to graduate, Ruby) and pie-in-the-sky bullshit that will never happen.

"Publish a book"/"Release an audiobook". Never going to happen unless she self-publishes again.

"Solo travel to Rome". This will be like that "solo trip" to Devon, where she'll go with her family and do everything she can to hide their presence on social media to make herself seem more independent.

"Sort out library in full"/"declutter the loft" these are both rooms in her parents' home. Not only will she not bother doing these, but it's a sign that she has zero intention of even considering moving out after graduation if she's planning on claiming two more rooms as her own.

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And then another walk in a field, this time with her cousins, mother and aunt.

Ruby shouts to get their attention. "Wooooo! Smile everyo--"

As everyone but her mother glares at her with confusion, she abruptly and awkwardly cuts away.

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The video's almost over but the stupidity's not finished yet!

After yet another outfit change, Ruby mentions that she takes lots of screenshots to remind herself of things on her phone. I'm not sure how this is supposed to work as a reminder system, and evidently neither is Ruby, as she forgets about all the screenshots she's taken. So now she's going through over a month's stockpile of forgotten screenshots and transcribing what she thinks they might've been for into Notion.

So alongside her complex, pointless busywork system of using dozens of concurrent paper and digital planners and so on alongside Notion, Ruby also uses this screenshot system that clearly doesn't work. Isn't there reminder sections in your planner for this, Ruby?

Note that Ruby is always obsessed with finding a new morning and night routine (even though they always stay the same) yet never once considers streamlining her bullshit system of numerous redundant planners that wastes most of her day with busywork. And then she wonders why she's always late for things, always falling behind on work and never has time for anything.

What a fucking dipshit.

Happy New Year, everyone!

I just wanted to thank you so much for this. As someone who

Spoiler: TW

almost unalived myself during the holidays

I wan't in too great a mood to watch endless video footage of her frolicking, opening tea and prAsents in that childish, callous way of hers. But this thing you wrote...it made me laugh for the first time in days, and I just wanted to tell you that this is just a gossip forum, but for someone who reads here it might mean a tiny bit more than that. Sorry for taking up space and time.

 

[miabaileyemblin]

We shame her gift-giving abilities but this is actually sweet

 

[gossip_guy]

The irony of Ruby listening to a band named 'Thieves' after her company has been taking people's money and not supplying a product in return... This clown is incapable of reading a room.

Ruby, less 'Arrival of the Birds' and more 'Arrival of the Planners'.

 

[GoinDowntown]

Ruby Granger # 22: Roomba Granger and the Art of War

 

[hart301]

Ruby Granger #22: I can’t relate to Sun Tzu, and neither should you.

 

[Bookperuser]

I bet she didn’t post “What I got for Christmas” to avoid comments from people who ordered planners who would have said, “guess what I DIDN’T get for Christmas”

 

[gossip_guy]

Ruby might be laying low on the video front, but she's offering up more terrible/dubious book reviews on Goodreads!

It's one star for Sun Tzu's 'The Art of War'. Ruby doesn't believe there's any value in this book that she likely didn't read, even though it's still used for strategy and motivation from corporate boardrooms to sports teams.

Ruby couldn't find a way to apply the timeless, multi-purpose motivational advice found in this textbook to "modern-day conflict". By "modern-day conflict", I presume she means getting deservedly criticised by swindled customers and those she's incessantly subjecting to lies and toxic content bullied online.

Since Ruby is incapable of understanding anything more obtuse and metaphorical than a Buzzfeed listicle, here's a few quotes pulled at random and how she might apply them to her own disaster of a life:

Sun Tzu: “Be extremely subtle even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious even to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate.”

Here, Ruby, is a prime learning experience for you. To break this quote down into terms you'll understand: Say less easily-disproven lies about yourself online and your critics will have less ammunition to use against you.

Sun Tzu: "Do not repeat the tactics which have gained you one victory, but let your methods be regulated by the infinite variety of circumstances."

Let's apply this to your endless assembly line of recycled content, Rubes. When you get a million views for releasing a video that's vaguely original for your channel, the lesson to be learned is that people want to see new content - something original and surprising. The wrong tactic is to just make the same Victorian routine video 500 times and expect the same viewer count, then cry on Instagram when you don't get it.

Sun Tzu: "Treat your men as you would your own beloved sons. And they will follow you into the deepest valley."

Now, apply this to your fans. If you treat them with respect, honesty and kindness and work hard to entertain them, they'll stick with you. But if you subject them to endless triggering content, lie to them about every single thing, swindle them out of the money they spent to support your business and only provide them with the most embarrassingly lazy, amateurish content, they're not going to remain loyal for long, are they?

Sun Tzu: "Rewards for good service should not be deferred a single day."

Give back the charity money, Ruby. Do it now.

Ruby claims to have read this 273 page book in a day. Knowing Ruby, she read a paragraph, got bored and marked it 'read'.

Ruby was disappointed that a text dating back to 5th Century BC wasn't modern and relatable enough for her, but dropped a 5 star rating on outdated instructional text for archaic letter-writing techniques:

This was only 26 pages long, so much more Ruby's speed. No wonder she loved it! If it contained storybook pictures and pop-up sections, this would've been her favourite book of all time.

And she continues skimming books for dissertation quotes. She notices superficial aesthetics above all else, but the letters are sometimes uncomfortable. Uncomfortable how? Ruby gives no examples. That's tough to do when you only flicked through the book without reading it.

 

[Griftwood]

New video is up! Oxford trip with Mother Granger and Daddy Bones, although she does her best to make it look like she went all by herself, to the point of showing her mum what she got when they get back, as if she wasn’t there all along holding Roobee’s hand the whole time in case the flashbacks from her Oxford rejection hit her unawares Letter-writing, buying gifts for viewers because she totally is a kind and generous person who will randomly surprise you with a gift instead of shipping your planner on time in the first place Also, she finally started working on her essay on Tuesday (or some other day of the week, because who tf knows with all the outfit changes). Also also, ”lol I literally changed outfits twice within an hour” what could she be doing that makes it necessary for her to (supposedly) change outfits this many times per day? Does she just drool a whole lot? Does she randomly have explosive diarrhea all up her back? What gives?

 

[Griftwood]

So she woke up at 4:30, took TWO HOURS to wash her face and ”have breakfast”, and then started ”work” at 6:30? Considering we’ve seen morning routines from her where she accomplishes reading, breakfast, two outfit changes and a 45-minute walk in about an hour, she’s really flagging. Or taking a really long time to poop. Or lying.

 

[buflesse]

How it started vs how it's going

Someone posted 'I got my dispatch email today!!!!' As if It's a cause for celebration that it took almost a month for them to be dispatched.

 

[Princess Peach]

Thread Title:

Perfect Little roomba never weArs jeaNs, Never stEals from chaRities and certainly never cleanS

(Hint.....can you find the 'planners'?)

 

[Fastgirl154]

Just coming in to thank everyone who has been putting spoilers over ruby’s food and Ed discussions. It means I can enjoy my morning coffee and tattle read without getting too triggered.

Seriously appreciate it and it actually does make a difference in terms of how safely I can pop on here and read!!!

 

[Caladan]

Hi guys, I've been reading the threads for a while and this is my first post. I apologize in case I make any grammatical mistakes, English is not my first language.

I'm from Spain, 19, and I always find it surprising when people push Ruby to move out ASAP, as if not doing so was embarrasing or something that was going to impact her development massively, which I have noticed is a commonly held opinion in anglosaxon countries. I think this might be an unpopular opinion, but I don't think there's anything wrong with living with your parents in your early 20s.

I don't know anyone my age who has already moved out or that is planning on doing so in the following years. This is probably because of cultural differences, but most people who go to uni here live with their parents until at least their mid twenties, and it's seen as completely normal. Many people make it to their late 20s without ever having lived on their own (unless they did a year abroad or studied in another province), and still manage to be well-adjusted adults. I think the average age for moving out was 28 or 29. Also, because wages are so low compared to housing prizes, it would be nearly impossible to rent a decent place after graduation. I don't think it is as much of an issue as you make it out to be, as long as she is able to adapt once she does move out.

 

[xoxoxo13]

I preferred this video to most of what she's put out for the last year. Thought it was less contrived. Lots of sentences that didn't make much sense though.

I noticed that she put 'solo travel to Rome' on her list of things to do in 2022. Good for her if she goes through with it.

Maybe she should start with a solo trip to Aldi? You know, setting small, achievable goals? Like she preaches in her videos?

 

[strawberrylemonade514]

"I wake up between 6 and 7. But this particular morning, I actually woke up at 4:30."

I usually wake up somewhere around 6-7 too. If I wake up at 4:30, I'll go back to sleep

Some times I can't believe I would literally idolize her and think "What would Ruby do? " Now I'm just like...I don't even think she knows what she's doing.

 

[Griftwood]

I’m a little uncomfy discussing the gender/orientation of someone who is possibly underage (haven’t gone sleuthing to find out how old they are and don’t intend to) and in any case hasn’t asked to be the topic of conversation on a snark board relating to their wacko cousin. Can we just agree that Ruby is a piece of scum who would totally deadname someone (and probably has) and move on?

 

[Phoebe Weatherfield]

Ruby gave a rating for Sun Tzu's "The Art of War"...

...and that rating was one star...

...because she thinks it's not relevant to the modern day...



Sorry, I just can't get over all three of those points! What's next, will she give the Epic of Gilgamesh only one star because it violates the typical narrative structure of the classic Victorian Gothic novel?

Looking forward to the following:

"Madame Bovary" - one star - "woman gets into trouble after too much mail order shopping."
"Moby Dick" - one star - "man goes fishing"
"The Old man and the sea" - one star - "an old man goes fishing"
"First term at Malory Towers" - five stars - "a wonderful story of school with lacrosse and midnight feasts where the teachers are splendid and nobody wears jeans or swears or does anything nasty and common EVER. HURRAH!"

 

[Phoebe Weatherfield]

Ruby? Lying? How very dare you…

In case anyone is in any doubt - I have recently been blocked from Ruby's YouTube channel because I asked - very politely - how much money we had all raised from watching the adverts in her "bullying" video (the one she took down). She had previously assured me that the money would still be donated, even although she had removed the video. But when asked how much had been raised, I was blocked. Enough said.