I literally made an account to jump in here on the whole productiveness conversation, because I was really moved by the post that she made about how she normally wouldn’t take a relaxing vacation bc she viewed it as unproductive. I used to be JUST like her, and bc of that, I hypothesize that her need to be productive stems from insecurity. I never had many friends growing up, I wasn’t outstanding at sports (I’m in the USA where that has a lot more purchase), but the thing I was good at was school. So because that was the only area in my life where I received praise, I thought that was all I was good for, and the moment I stopped being good at school I would be worthless as a person. Because I was shy and didn’t have friends or people who seemed to like me for who I was, I felt that I needed to make up for that, to prove that I deserved to exist. So I filled my days with “productive” things similar to what Ruby does because that’s all I had going for me. It wrecked my mental health because I viewed EVERYTHING that wasn’t academic as a waste of time, even something like shopping with my parents, because I would come out of those experiences with “nothing to show” for them and I needed something to show for the things I did, because I had spent so long trying to fit in and had nothing to show for that. It got to the point where my parents would beg me to STOP doing my homework lol. I’m in a MUCH better place in my life now and I’ve gotten so much better with these things, and it’s because of that that Ruby saddens me so much. If she thinks the way I once thought, that would make a lot of sense as to why she behaves the way she does.