Ruby Granger #10 house is an eyesore, dresses like torycore, 30+ routines, how many more?

[yayadumpling]

Absolutely. Once you get into a perfectionist mindset it's tough to shake it off. Whatever you do you never feel like it's good enough and it stops you from achieving results because any result that's not perfect feels like a complete failure to you.
I struggle with perfectionism a lot, especially last year when I was in my second year of university. I dreaded the idea of getting a grade that was any less than perfect. Like, even a 28/30 would have been unacceptable for me. Everyone around me kept telling me that I placed too high expectations on myself.
Now that I'm in my third year and I only have a couple exams left before I graduate I'm much more relaxed about that. I don't have the energy to worry so much about perfect grades, I have too much on my plate.

i totally agree with this.

i'm nearly in my mid 20s and being a perfectionist for so many things is hard. i've never been a perfectionist to Ruby's extent, however i have always hated getting under a certain percentage for tests and essays. i was very thankfully fine during uni and got marks that were good for my perfectionist self. a lot of the time i really did place my self worth on my marks.

as i'm getting older and experiencing life i definitely am loosening up a but more but again, IT'S SO HARD!!!!! so, if anyone here is a teen and is an extreme perfectionist pleaseeeee work on it to loosen yourself up!

(sorry for the horrid grammar, it's late and i wanted to type this out lol)

 

[buflesse]

Found the video, her “analysis” starts around 8:12. I slightly misquoted her, but it’s not any better in the original.

'It articulates not just moments but feelings'....Jesus Christ

 

[studyttubingbetoxictho]

'It articulates not just moments but feelings'....Jesus Christ

you mean like... literally ALL books

 

[Ilaariaa]

'It articulates not just moments but feelings'....Jesus Christ

If I were the University of Exeter I'd be embarrassed to be represented by someone like this, let alone pay them to do it

 

[CatCafe234]

i totally agree with this.

i'm nearly in my mid 20s and being a perfectionist for so many things is hard. i've never been a perfectionist to Ruby's extent, however i have always hated getting under a certain percentage for tests and essays. i was very thankfully fine during uni and got marks that were good for my perfectionist self. a lot of the time i really did place my self worth on my marks.

as i'm getting older and experiencing life i definitely am loosening up a but more but again, IT'S SO HARD!!!!! so, if anyone here is a teen and is an extreme perfectionist pleaseeeee work on it to loosen yourself up!

(sorry for the horrid grammar, it's late and i wanted to type this out lol)

It’s also worth reminding yourself that once you move out of a system that is assessed by scores or grades then it’s going to be increasingly hard to achieve perfection if you’re measuring ‘perfect‘ by getting 100% or an A*. In the world of work there’s rarely a mark-scheme to work towards and when you’re working on projects where the criteria constantly change or where they’re just not that clear to begin with, you’re never going to achieve perfection. It’s also worth remembering that once you move away from scores and grades, ‘perfection’ is an entirely subjective criteria and what’s perfect to me might not be to you, and vice versa. So you could work yourself silly and still have produced something that other people will criticise, sometimes heavily. I have terrible perfectionist tendencies and one of the most important (and hardest ...) lessons I’ve had to learn is that I need understand when good enough is good enough. I’ve had to balance my need for perfection against reality - how much time do I realistically have, what are people expecting (which is usually way less than my own standard) and what can I physically do.

Also, I made the point a while back on Holly Gabrielle’s thread that she makes a big thing out of graduating top of her year at Cambridge and implies, quite heavily, that the only way to do that is to study excessively like her. The point I’d make to counter that is we don’t know who came second, or by how much. I’d hazard a guess that there wasn’t a lot in it and I’d also guess that the second-ranked person probably had a more realistic lifestyle. Yes, it’s lovely to come first but not at any cost, and not when it’s in something that really isn’t going to matter a few months down the line.

 

[Ilaariaa]

It’s also worth reminding yourself that once you move out of a system that is assessed by scores or grades then it’s going to be increasingly hard to achieve perfection if you’re measuring ‘perfect‘ by getting 100% or an A*. In the world of work there’s rarely a mark-scheme to work towards and when you’re working on projects where the criteria constantly change or where they’re just not that clear to begin with, you’re never going to achieve perfection. It’s also worth remembering that once you move away from scores and grades, ‘perfection’ is an entirely subjective criteria and what’s perfect to me might not be to you, and vice versa. So you could work yourself silly and still have produced something that other people will criticise, sometimes heavily. I have terrible perfectionist tendencies and one of the most important (and hardest ...) lessons I’ve had to learn is that I need understand when good enough is good enough. I’ve had to balance my need for perfection against reality - how much time do I realistically have, what are people expecting (which is usually way less than my own standard) and what can I physically do.

Also, I made the point a while back on Holly Gabrielle’s thread that she makes a big thing out of graduating top of her year at Cambridge and implies, quite heavily, that the only way to do that is to study excessively like her. The point I’d make to counter that is we don’t know who came second, or by how much. I’d hazard a guess that there wasn’t a lot in it and I’d also guess that the second-ranked person probably had a more realistic lifestyle. Yes, it’s lovely to come first but not at any cost, and not when it’s in something that really isn’t going to matter a few months down the line.

I also think that being competitive can be just as damaging as perfectionism. Obsessing over being the best or coming first is unhealthy. You should aim at being the best you can be and you shouldn't care what everyone else does.

 

[NotAnArtist]

I also think that being competitive can be just as damaging as perfectionism. Obsessing over being the best or coming first is unhealthy. You should aim at being the best you can be and you shouldn't care what everyone else does.

I'd be really interested in the advice Ruby and Holly, respectively, would give on seminars that require group-work/ team-work. I could see Ruby being focused on getting her specific part 'perfect' and struggling with that, and Holly being too eager to show that she is 'better' than her teammates. Grades are relational, of course, but it feels like Ruby is more focused on showing how her *grades* are good, and Holly a bit more on how her grades are *better* than the grades other people got (but tbh, I think both don't show the most constructive attitude... I think Ruby's approach is better when taken in a more balanced manner, but she doesn't do that imo).

If she stays in academia for a while, Ruby's approach might work out a little bit better for her because she'll do a lot of projects independently. Holly will be part of labs where the goal is to stand out by doing good work, but not really by flat-out beating your teammates. Thriving in a competitive field doesn't mean that one should treat everyone as competition - you don't just network with senior researchers but also with peers, you'll teach students who want to do a good job but don't (try or care to) overachieve, you don't need your fellow PhD candidates *below* you, you need them *behind* you, to have your back, and you need to have their back.

(ok this just became an OT academia rant... long story short, I would love to see more of how Ruby behaves, or portrays herself to behave, in teamwork situations, and think she might not be the easiest but also not the actual worst person to work with)

 

[CatCafe234]

I'd be really interested in the advice Ruby and Holly, respectively, would give on seminars that require group-work/ team-work. I could see Ruby being focused on getting her specific part 'perfect' and struggling with that, and Holly being too eager to show that she is 'better' than her teammates.

I can see Ruby managing team-work quite well as long as she’s the team leader and everyone else does as they’re told. I can see her getting quite stressed with misbehaving team-members or anyone who doesn’t do exactly what they’re told exactly when and how they’re told to do it. With Holly, I just get the impression that she would engage with the team only minimally, and then the day before the deadline she would pull out a completely finished version of the project that she’d worked on alone which she then insists is submitted as it’s clearly better. Or she’d just do it and hand it in and then tell everyone afterwards that‘s what she’s done, whilst playing the martyr about how much work she’s had to do.

 

[Scapier88]

I can imagine Ruby in a office been really confused why when other people do the tea and coffee run everyone doesn't have individual tea pots

 

[kingdomhearts]

I can imagine Ruby in a office been really confused why when other people do the tea and coffee run everyone doesn't have individual tea pots

Imagine her saying, “Would anyone like ceremonial tea?” when she’s doing the tea round

 

[LitNerd]

Imagine her saying, “Would anyone like ceremonial tea?” when she’s doing the tea round

I mean I’d honestly be surprised if she even got to 3pm or earlier without either expecting to be able to leave, stop for an hour and a half of tea or “work so hard” by writing her hundredth to do list

 

[Scapier88]

I mean I’d honestly be surprised if she even got to 3pm or earlier without either expecting to be able to leave, stop for an hour and a half of tea or “work so hard” by writing her hundredth to do list

What do mean i can't go for an hour walk and doing ballet class I've ticked three things off my to do list look its on notion

 

[Ilaariaa]

I mean I’d honestly be surprised if she even got to 3pm or earlier without either expecting to be able to leave, stop for an hour and a half of tea or “work so hard” by writing her hundredth to do list

Kinda like how little kids act on their first day of school

 

[NotAnArtist]

What do mean i can't go for an hour walk and doing ballet class I've ticked three things off my to do list look its on notion

though to be fair, that just seems to be a work/study from home thing... lots of us who don't have a commute make up for the lack of movement like that, or use our time a bit more flexibly. Her pre-pandemic routines weren't really like this, as far as I recall...

 

[gossip_guy]

Not sure if this has been mentioned before, but I noticed she has Jane Goodall's Masterclass listed on her Linkdin/CV.

She does know that's not an accredited course for her to put on her CV, right?

It's a half-step removed from putting 'Watched an interview with Jane Goodall on YouTube' on her CV in her education section, or slapping 'I saw the behind the scenes documentary on the DVD of The Secret Garden and this has given me extensive knowledge of filmmaking and horticulture' on there.

 

[marketgoblin]

'It articulates not just moments but feelings'....Jesus Christ

ruby makes me embarassed to have studied english lmao i swear not all of us are this dumb

Also, I made the point a while back on Holly Gabrielle’s thread that she makes a big thing out of graduating top of her year at Cambridge and implies, quite heavily, that the only way to do that is to study excessively like her. The point I’d make to counter that is we don’t know who came second, or by how much. I’d hazard a guess that there wasn’t a lot in it and I’d also guess that the second-ranked person probably had a more realistic lifestyle. Yes, it’s lovely to come first but not at any cost, and not when it’s in something that really isn’t going to matter a few months down the line.

it may seem a little cruel but i've actually kind of enjoyed (in a perverse way) watching holly flounder since graduating because she is illustrating so perfectly that studying and grades mean nothing, ultimately, and that the other skills that you develop while at uni are so much more important in the long run. she has absolutely no idea what to do with her life, she behaves like an actual child and it's not looking like she has a particularly bright future ahead of her at the moment....despite coming top of her year at one of the best universities in the world. just shows that cambridge (and working youself stupidly hard) is not a ticket to success

i think her videos have a great message, actually: going out and making friends, developing interpersonal skills and maturity....these things will get you further than studying alone

 

[gossip_guy]

ruby makes me embarassed to have studied english lmao i swear not all of us are this dumb

It has that 'I didn't bother reading the book but got called on to talk about it in the seminar' energy. Just ramble vague nonsense that could apply to any written work and hope nobody asks follow-up questions.

 

[Scapier88]

It has that 'I didn't bother reading the book but got called on to talk about it in the seminar' energy. Just ramble vague nonsense that could apply to any written work and hope nobody asks follow-up questions.

That's how she is on the book club zoom calls when she actually attends them

 

[Ilaariaa]

Not sure if this has been mentioned before, but I noticed she has Jane Goodall's Masterclass listed on her Linkdin/CV.

She does know that's not an accredited course for her to put on her CV, right?

It's a half-step removed from putting 'Watched an interview with Jane Goodall on YouTube' on her CV in her education section, or slapping 'I saw the behind the scenes documentary on the DVD of The Secret Garden and this has given me extensive knowledge of filmmaking and horticulture' on there.

Oh God why

 

[xoxoxo13]

this looks so creepy?