I second this!@BettyCrockerr you ALWAYS give the best advice on here! I love reading all your posts (in a non stalker/strange way, i promise!). I wish you were my friend in real life!
- Notice
Just thought if you’re worried about him threatening you for cheating, put your break up in a text (maybe after you tell him on the phone or whatever). Keep the text so you have proof of when you split with him. Just for you own peace of mind, not that you’ll ever have to show it to the allowance people.don’t tempt me, I want him round tonightthe only thing that puts me off is I don’t have a morning after pill
yes I did.
The mood swings were because I was on the implant. I bled on and off and was a right hormonal hen if I do say so myself
BettyCrockerr
VIP Member
Well yeah - what does he expect from you? That your going to keep living like this?
you don’t live together- is there a reason?
BettyCrockerr
VIP Member
Right.
he doesn’t work - is there a reason why? How does he support himself if he doesn’t work?! Presumably if he isn’t working he is claiming money in the form of benefits? in which case, its very easy for him to be located because payments are all via bank transfer and linked to his NI number.
He is lying to you about solicitors. Please stop allowing him to manipulate you.
tinkertailorsoldierspy
Chatty Member
It sounds like you've been given some really good advice OP. It's very easy to get into a situation which goes on and on for years and it's only when you really stop at look at it (with objective eyes) that you realise how strange it is.
Quite simply a partnership is two people working together with support and respect and it doesn't sound like you have any of that from him.
He doesn't seem interested in fixing that so it doesn't seem like you have much choice but to move on. Although I'm sure it's not easy, especially with children involved. But hopefully you'll find your way through this.
Quite simply a partnership is two people working together with support and respect and it doesn't sound like you have any of that from him.
He doesn't seem interested in fixing that so it doesn't seem like you have much choice but to move on. Although I'm sure it's not easy, especially with children involved. But hopefully you'll find your way through this.
HankMcPrank
VIP Member
I don’t know why he’s avoiding me. I’m broken xx
My friend has said he would happily come round tomorrow fuck I said don’t. Wouldn’t be able to control myself. Friends with benefits would be frowned upon.
My friend has said he would happily come round tomorrow fuck I said don’t. Wouldn’t be able to control myself. Friends with benefits would be frowned upon.
HankMcPrank
VIP Member
he’s coming tomorrow night after work...
I’m gonna dress up & oh he will be coming....I cannot wait he sends me wild over the phone. I’d marry him tomorrow
LaurieLaurie
VIP Member
It makes me worry the kids aren’t being put first.
Shesaidwhat?
VIP Member
I second what @Scorpihoe says enjoy every second
LaurieLaurie
VIP Member
I’d bet you anything you will feel better for it in a weeks time and realise he’s bringing nothing to your life.
The firm I work for deals in some areas of family law, however I am by no means any expert. He can make allegations against you all he likes, however unless he has any evidence of these allegations, they will have little bearing in court. Providing your children are happy, well looked after and comfortable with you, which I am in no doubt they are, social services would not want to aid a man who does barely anything for the children in taking them away from you. They will always seek to keep children where they are happy. I would strongly advise seeking your own advice. Some firms offer a 30 mins free consultation, which I would seek if I were you.
Courts will ALWAYS expect matters to go through some form of mediation etc before going directly to court - court should be an absolute last resort if other resolution options have failed.
BettyCrockerr
VIP Member
have you contacted citizens advice?Thanks but I’ve come to my senses that that is the worst thing possible with the way I’m feeling.
Yes he has got solicitors involved so thanks all.
CSA can’t do anything he’s not at a fixed abode.
But I’m not bothered anymore with what people joke or make me out to be. I could potentially lose my kids especially with the malicious words and accusation.... but yeah, laugh....like other people have done
thanks.
Nah it’s alright yeah, thanks tho.
how do you know he has solicitors involved?
he lives with his mother - that’s his home address. It makes no difference anyway, the CSA take the payments from his salary before he gets paid, it’s an automatic deduction.
HankMcPrank
VIP Member
Thank you. It’s not just sex I wanted to show him I love him, 12 years and first love means a lot to me. But he’s not interested so it’s absolutely fine.
I’m gonna have a soak and just chill.
I really do xx
I’m gonna have a soak and just chill.
I really appreciate it
I really do xx
Tamij
VIP Member
This is what I’m so incredulous about.
ridiculous.
misscookiedough
Active member
Get rid. Waste of time. I honestly can't understand why you're even tolerating him.
HankMcPrank
VIP Member
agree with you on that. The more I pressure him. The more he gets put off.
I don’t know. He doesn’t live with me, I’ve moved house to be closer to him but he hasn’t been in the town since we’ve moved in March!
I said he needs to go the GP and he won’t, mentioned I’d have the depo injection so definitely no more pregnancies. Nope. Suggested the snip he went nuts and said nothings wrong with him.
HankMcPrank
VIP Member
Thanks all for the lovely advice.
See what today brings.
See what today brings.
BettyCrockerr
VIP Member
agree. Please have a read through this and start taking steps to get something set up.
Child Maintenance Service
How to set up or manage a child maintenance arrangement, including what to do if a parent does not pay, how to contact the Child Maintenance Service, and signing in to your account.