Relationship Issues - HELP 😞

Tamij · Jun 20, 2021

You’ve had some excellent advice here and I agree with most of it.
Bin him off. He’s effectively already walked away from you, so in all honesty, what exactly are you going to miss?
Then go and find this friend and shag him. You’re not cheating if it’s over. Besides, he can’t not pay his child maintenance. The CSA will ensure that.

Clairer86 · Jun 20, 2021

HankMcPrank said:
I thought this, was utterly convinced. But no just him and his mum.

no, there is a reason. I personally think it’s pathetic. When I was on the implant I had mood swings so would never live with me because of my moods

I am sorry you are going through this, but to be completely honest there are some massive red flags surrounding this! He sounds abit controlling- i mean in the way he wont have sex with you but expects you to be happy, and then him saying 'please dont cheat' and yet wont address his issues. And as for your supposed mood swings, that just sounds really childish (on his part, you dont sound childish). It just doesnt seem like a relationship to me. Its up to you, but i couldnt live like that. You deserve happiness and a partner who respects you, loves you, is intimate and who you can communicate with.

BettyCrockerr said:
So what has him putting on weight got to do with anything though? Sorry but it’s nonsense.
Forget him for a minute. What do YOU want? What do you want your life to be like? You deserve so much more than this. He’s not offering you anything.

I think there’s more going on here than he’s letting on. Another women perhaps or he’s using escorts/webcam girls etc

@BettyCrockerr you ALWAYS give the best advice on here! I love reading all your posts (in a non stalker/strange way, i promise!). I wish you were my friend in real life!

BettyCrockerr said:
So what has him putting on weight got to do with anything though? Sorry but it’s nonsense.
Forget him for a minute. What do YOU want? What do you want your life to be like? You deserve so much more than this. He’s not offering you anything.

I think there’s more going on here than he’s letting on. Another women perhaps or he’s using escorts/webcam girls etc

@BettyCrockerr you ALWAYS give the best advice on here! I love reading all your posts (in a non stalker/strange way, i promise!). I wish you were my friend in real life!

HankMcPrank · Jun 20, 2021

Scorpihoe said:
This guy is honestly ridiculous, I don’t even have words. He cheated, he threatened to stop child maintenance…he moved out 4 years ago and barely sees his kids…

OP text him that it’s over and go fuck that other guy. Fuck him twice if you have to

don’t tempt me, I want him round tonight the only thing that puts me off is I don’t have a morning after pill

newtoyou said:
Tbh I agree. You’ve told him you want someone else and he’s done nothing to show you he’s willing to fight for you other than say “no don’t do it” (did you tell him you’ve had phone sex with the other guy?).

yes I did.

The mood swings were because I was on the implant. I bled on and off and was a right hormonal hen if I do say so myself

Wowitsme · Jun 20, 2021

Clairer86 said:
@BettyCrockerr you ALWAYS give the best advice on here! I love reading all your posts (in a non stalker/strange way, i promise!). I wish you were my friend in real life!

I second this!

BettyCrockerr · Jun 20, 2021

Wowitsme said:
I second this!

https://giphy.com/dILZwwhulFUn6

newtoyou · Jun 20, 2021

HankMcPrank said:
don’t tempt me, I want him round tonight the only thing that puts me off is I don’t have a morning after pill

yes I did.

The mood swings were because I was on the implant. I bled on and off and was a right hormonal hen if I do say so myself

Just thought if you’re worried about him threatening you for cheating, put your break up in a text (maybe after you tell him on the phone or whatever). Keep the text so you have proof of when you split with him. Just for you own peace of mind, not that you’ll ever have to show it to the allowance people.

Scorpihoe · Jun 20, 2021

@HankMcPrank go and get some condoms/morning after pill or get him to bring some.

OP I hope you have the best sex of your life tonight

BettyCrockerr · Jun 20, 2021

newtoyou said:
Just thought if you’re worried about him threatening you for cheating, put your break up in a text (maybe after you tell him on the phone or whatever). Keep the text so you have proof of when you split with him. Just for you own peace of mind, not that you’ll ever have to show it to the allowance people.

agree. Please have a read through this and start taking steps to get something set up.

Child Maintenance Service

How to set up or manage a child maintenance arrangement, including what to do if a parent does not pay, how to contact the Child Maintenance Service, and signing in to your account.

www.gov.uk

HankMcPrank · Jun 20, 2021

Scorpihoe said:
@HankMcPrank go and get some condoms/morning after pill or get him to bring some.

OP I hope you have the best sex of your life tonight

he’s coming tomorrow night after work... I’m gonna dress up & oh he will be coming....

Scorpihoe said:
@HankMcPrank go and get some condoms/morning after pill or get him to bring some.

OP I hope you have the best sex of your life tonight

I cannot wait he sends me wild over the phone. I’d marry him tomorrow

Shesaidwhat? · Jun 20, 2021

Scorpihoe said:
@HankMcPrank go and get some condoms/morning after pill or get him to bring some.

OP I hope you have the best sex of your life tonight

I second what @Scorpihoe says enjoy every second

Welshgal · Jun 20, 2021

I’m a bit late but wow seriously wtf.
I’m awfully sorry for you but I can only agree 100% with many of the posts here.
Break it off with your “partner” (not even sure I can call him that) and move on. Apart from that one other guy there are many other men who will not only give you what you need but also be more of a father figure to your kids! I get the low sex drive due to putting on weight but not seeing his kids!? That’s messed up

Mrs Cucumber · Jun 20, 2021

If you don't live together and haven't has sex in 4 years that's not a relationship that's a friendship at that.
Be careful/mindful of bringing over men into your children's home to shag them.

misscookiedough · Jun 20, 2021

Get rid. Waste of time. I honestly can't understand why you're even tolerating him.

Clairer86 · Jun 20, 2021

So ive read the entire thread now, and i was far too polite in my previous post! The man is a fucking wanker. His behaviour regarding your children is shocking and his 'reason' is fucking ridiculous tbh. Also, and im sorry to say this but i wouldnt be surprised if he was still seeing/sleeping with the woman who he previously had an affair with. You need to live your life, he isnt bringing anything to the relationship. His behaviour towards you and the children tells me everything i need to know about this 'man'. He sounds like a controlling piece of shit who is doing nothing than waste your time and he is letting his children down. You dont need him, please remember that

Penguinandthepinecone · Jun 20, 2021

Erm, just to add that the morning after pill is not meant to be used as protection (you seem to imply that your chosen method of protection is going to be the morning after pill?!) You do need to use a Condom. You could literally catch a life-changing STD with a man that you barely know in your first shag in four years. This whole situation sounds bizarre to me. With regard to your ‘partner’, don’t you have any mutual couple friends, what do they think of this strange set-up? How old are your children? What do they think of their Dad and his weird living choices? Do you work? Does he work? I just cannot picture how this has gone-on for so long and you’re only just realising that you’v been manipulated into this controlling set-up where you (and your children) are just ‘kept’

HankMcPrank · Jun 20, 2021

Penguinandthepinecone said:
Erm, just to add that the morning after pill is not meant to be used as protection (you seem to imply that your chosen method of protection is going to be the morning after pill?!) You do need to use a Condom. You could literally catch a life-changing STD with a man that you barely know in your first shag in four years. This whole situation sounds bizarre to me. With regard to your ‘partner’, don’t you have any mutual couple friends, what do they think of this strange set-up? How old are your children? What do they think of their Dad and his weird living choices? Do you work? Does he work? I just cannot picture how this has gone-on for so long and you’re only just realising that you’v been manipulated into this controlling set-up where you (and your children) are just ‘kept’

All our mutual friends side with him. I have one nearly teenager and two under 10

Penguinandthepinecone said:
Erm, just to add that the morning after pill is not meant to be used as protection (you seem to imply that your chosen method of protection is going to be the morning after pill?!) You do need to use a Condom. You could literally catch a life-changing STD with a man that you barely know in your first shag in four years. This whole situation sounds bizarre to me. With regard to your ‘partner’, don’t you have any mutual couple friends, what do they think of this strange set-up? How old are your children? What do they think of their Dad and his weird living choices? Do you work? Does he work? I just cannot picture how this has gone-on for so long and you’re only just realising that you’v been manipulated into this controlling set-up where you (and your children) are just ‘kept’

yeah he’s bringing some ribbed goodies.

Mrs Cucumber said:
If you don't live together and haven't has sex in 4 years that's not a relationship that's a friendship at that.
Be careful/mindful of bringing over men into your children's home to shag them.

He wouldn’t be staying over x

BettyCrockerr · Jun 20, 2021

Mrs Cucumber said:
If you don't live together and haven't has sex in 4 years that's not a relationship that's a friendship at that.
Be careful/mindful of bringing over men into your children's home to shag them.

Yeah I have to agree, be careful with any other men you get involved with. Yes, you can abs should feel free to have sex and enjoy yourself with whomever you like but you have children in your care who need to be protected - you can’t have random guys rocking up at your home for a shag - from a safe gaurding point of view and also don’t assume your kids will be oblivious to what’s going on, and if you are sleeping with guys you need to use proper protection from STIs aswell as pregnancy.

HankMcPrank said:
All our mutual friends side with him. I have one nearly teenager and two under 10

yeah he’s bringing some ribbed goodies.

He wouldn’t be staying over x

Your mutual friends are a bunch of weirdos.
sorry but everything you have divulged about this set up is completely bizzare and shambolic and is not in anyway a “normal” set up for a relationship or family.

HankMcPrank · Jun 20, 2021

I’ve known him for years x

lisa94xo · Jun 20, 2021

HankMcPrank said:
To add if i did it all child maintenance would stop also. That’s his threat.

No, he doesn’t ask how they are I have to tell him they’re okay. Or what they’ve been up to.

Im okay thank you. Xx

Sorry if this sounds harsh but I don't understand how you can still have feelings for a man who clearly doesn't fancy you, has cheated on you & most of all doesn't seem to care a jot about his kids, to the point of threatening not to support them?! I also find it quite worrying that from your posts you seem to care more about your sex life than the well-being of your children & their relationship (or lack of) with their father?
What exactly do you get out of this relationship? If you're contemplating having sex with someone else, surely that means the relationship is effectively dead. Why do you keep subjecting yourself and your children to more heartache?

Shesaidwhat? · Jun 20, 2021

HankMcPrank said:
All our mutual friends side with him.

They side with a grown man who’s cheated and is hiding in his mum’s box room rather than being a father and won’t even put up a fight to save his relationship with his partner? Sounds like your partner isn’t they only one you should be getting rid of.

Relationship Issues - HELP 😞

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