Questions for those who have been through menopause

[Notworthy]

Forgot about the clumsiness, I went through a period where I kept falling over

Yes you can get it on the NHS but it's a fight to get it.

Well that's your experience but it wasn't mine. The female GP was great. I saw a young male GP recently and he was useless.

The point is, it's not about gender, it's whether they have an interest. I've seen 3 female GPs, one youngish, 1 mid 30s and 1 late 50s all shite, 1 told me I wouldn't notice the symptoms because I had the coil, 1 told me all she knew about menopause was what patients had told her and 1 tried to put me on anti depressants as apparently thats the recommended treatment for my symptoms when NICE guidelines specifically say not to do so if there is no history of depression. It's pretty shit when GPs can't keep up with guidelines about womens health when 50% of their patients are female.

 

[imnotarobot]

I have to say this is what upset me the most about it all. Going from being very confidant and outgoing then bam! Anxiety and panic attacks.

Me too. In my worst minutes I’ve decided my husband is going to leave me. He’s given me no reason to think that, he’s been totally the same and is as supportive as he can be and I can see that in the moments of clarity, but for some stupid reason this is what I narrow my anxiety on. It’s unbearable. And I can’t keep asking him like some mental case or the poor bugger WILL leave me just for some peace! Strong me seems to have disappeared.

I’ve been put on HRT, have only just started it and are now halfway though the two week grey pills. I noticed a massive spike in anxiety on about day four/five of them and so I’m hoping it isn’t going to be like this every month. I won’t be able to bear it.

Has anyone been on antidepressants as well as HRT?. i go back to the doctor first week in May and I’m thinking of asking for those too.

Snap. I've run 2 successful businesses and been in hospitality 30 years and all if a sudden I'm questioning whether I can manage a new business. It feels as though I've lost the best part of myself which was my confidence and fearlessness and turned into this negative, quivering wreck.

I am sorry. Menopause is a fucking bitch, excuse my French.

 

[Woolmercardington]

I'm 44 this year. I do notice that my usual PMS symptom of being a bit impatient and irritable has become feeling very low with negative thoughts. Been like that for about a year and am wondering if the change is peri related.

I'm worried about getting anxiety. I'm such a laid back person and hate the thought of becoming overly anxious. So many women in my workplace who are on their late 5Os/early 60s are like this and I assume it is a long lasting effect from menopause.

My mum is like this, too. She drives me round the bend. It's really upsetting to think your personality might change so much.

 

[Woolmercardington]

I agree, it's wrecked my life, my symptoms would have easily been manageable if I'd know what was causing them instead of thinking it was my business and my family making me feel crap. I have a coil so no idea if I'm done and I've never had a hot flush. My symptoms were mental more than physical. main physcial symptoms were insomnia, weight gain and joint pain. Having diarised my symptoms and tracked back, I'd say the symptoms started affecting me at 46 and from online forums, that appears to be pretty normal. It's frustrating when I try to have a conversation with women about menopause and they tell me they are too young for it to be that when they have just finished telling me they can't lose weight and they aren't sleeping well, but when practically every article mentions the magic 51 years old, I suppose it isn't surprising. GPs are useless, when I had my mirena changed I asked the GP how I would know when I hit enopause and she said "Oh you probably won't even notice" no offer of a leaflet or symptoms to look out for, of course I went skipping out of there thinking I'd dodged a bullet. Called the Britih Menopause Society and asked if there were posters or leaflets I could distribute and apperantly they don't have the budget for it.
My biggest bugbear is that it is considered a Female issue, it's not , it's a societal issue. I have 2 Male friends whose wives divorced them during Peri. My one piece of advice to any Woman in their 40's suddenly wanting to change what was a good life is to think long and hard about what is driving that desire.


I totally get that, it's horrible, I'm single but my poor Son really got put through it, I didn't talk to him for months in a vain attempt to get him to fuck off out of my life. I wish more was said about these symptoms rather than keeping it at hot flushes (which I haven't had)

I bet donkey's years ago, when menopause was never spoken about at all, women must have thought they were literally going mad. Like you say, all that was ever mentioned was hot flushes. Funnily enough, I know one or two oder women who literally hate hearing about the menopause in mainstream media. I wonder if it's because they were of a 'put up and shut up' generation as their attitude is very much about not 'making a fuss' and 'just get on with it'.

 

[House of Tea]

I personally think more should be invested in education of what the menopause is and the myriad of symptoms that creep up on us. I sold my business, got a well paying job and quit that too before I found out that it was the menopause making me feel like shit, not the business or job. I estimate it's cost me atleast £100,000 in lost income. I wasn't in denial either, I'd even asked my GP when I had my coil changed how I would recognise when I was menopausal and she just blew me off telling me I'd probably not even notice.

Apparently GPs get half a days training on menopause. There are plans to change that, belatedly. I went to see a locum GP recently and as an aside she said she does not believe in HRT. I wasn’t there for that, but if I was, imagine the difficulty I would have had in getting it.

 

[ClockworkDolly]

The thing with the menopause is that no two women are the same. Some will get hot flushes, some won’t.

My narcissistic ex-boyfriend thought he knew all about the menopause and thought he could diagnose me himself, such a twat he was, amongst other things. He used to read the Daily Fail health pages and thought he knew it all.

 

[Notworthy]

I think the worse thing is anxiety. Here I am, 4.24am. Been awake since 3. Have to get up at 6. I feel things more, like several layers of skin are missing. I am talking mentally rather than physically! I worry so much. I hate myself for it. I used to be ballsy and with a zest for life. I am now a little mouse who trembles at everything.

Me too and I spoke to a friend about this exact thing the other day and she was the same. Both formally driven women but a shell of our former selves. It sucks

 

[Notworthy]

Yes to everything you have said, iv even found myself with horrible thoughts of just walking away from my marriage thinking I’m better off on my own then a few days later I look at my husband and think I would be lost without you, my head gets so confused and mixed up at times. So thankful for this thread

The dissociation if horrible, I would have that at the same time as my weight peaked, I remember going to a BBQ with my entire family there, looking round at them and thinking, you know what all you lot do is trap me here, can't you all fuck off and then I can move on Thats when I realised what the hormones were doing to me as I had the smell and the weight gain at the same time. Looking back it had been going on for a couple of years atleast before I made the link. Look at the stories of women marrying some greek guy 20 years younger and nearly all the women are late 40's

 

[ginger tea]

I’m like this too, think it’s because I have zero patience now lol

Yeah probably that to

Makes me sick hearing "super heros" brag that they did the menopause with no help

Some of the women that iv spoken to regarding menopause have been a bit smug about it “oh I was fine didn’t take HRT” they made me feel as if I should just get on with it and why would I ask for help or take anything

 

[Woolmercardington]

I agree, the benefits of HRT aren’t really discussed. It’s also proven to prevent/lessen a lot of bladder issues such as urgency and UTIs but they never say about that either

Yes, I mean someone might 'sail through' the menopause, no HRT believed to be required - but I still think about the long-term health impacts of having three vital hormones missing from your body.

My mum for example, never took HRT - her menopause could be considered 'mild' for lack of a better word - she's 66 now and for the past number of years has suffered terribly with bladder issues/UTI's and gout (which she discovered is usually menopause related in women of 60). Plus her stress and anxiety over really innocuous things is still at peak level.

She never really will acknowledge any of this is a lasting effect of the menopause, though, because, "Oh, it's nothing to do with that. I had that years ago."

 

[Notworthy]

These helped me with hot flushes.

Vogel Menoforce Sage

When you get rid of periods you think you end up with more cash because you don’t buy sanitary products. Not a hope. Money is diverted onto menopause products instead. It is hard work being a woman. It takes hard cash being a woman.

Have you noticed the Boots advert for face creams for menopausal women the cheeky fuckers.

 

[Suzesnooze]

I’ve had the pain for a few years, usually right before a period and sometimes very couple of months like halfway through my cycle but now it’s almost always there and I need to take pain meds for it or put a heat pad on

I would definitely get it checked out. One problem with peri menopause is there is such a large list of symptoms that sometimes we put everything down to peri when in fact it could be an underlying health problem, so best to see your GP I would say.

 

[Douce Vipere]

These helped me with hot flushes.

Vogel Menoforce Sage

I’m seeing a nutritionist who focus on menopausal women. There’s a bunch of things involved but the main thing she recommends for hot flushes are red and purple food: berries, tomatoes, eggplant, radicchio, anything in those colours. At least 3 portions of those a day. I’m on early days still, haven’t have enough yet to start seeing results- it takes a month for that. It’s just food, no harm trying. I’m hopeful, those hot flushes are killing me, I’ll try anything.

 

[Jwren]

This is interesting, I currently as well as still being crazily oestrogen deficient (despite patches and top up gel), I’ve got folate anemia, a vitamin d deficiency and my testosterone is too low. So I’m taking them all to the max as well as general b vitamins. But I’ve not tried magnesium. I am desperately trying to balance it all as I’m constantly exhausted, in pain and the low oestrogen does seem to be triggering a pots like illness I could go without. Blood tests again this week to see if any of them need to be adjusted more.

Not sure if you already know this so just ignore if you do. You need sufficient Magnesium levels to absorb Vit D and regulate it, taking vitamin D also depletes magnesium so it’s really important you get enough Magnesium. Unfortunately there aren’t reliable blood tests for Magnesium levels as it’s mostly stored in our bones and muscle. I’ve added a few links that give a little more info on the importance of Magnesium and a screenshot showing some Magnesium deficiency symptoms just in case low levels are a possibility for you.

If you do decide to take magnesium take it at least 2 hours before, or after folate as it may prevent the folate from being properly absorbed. I take magnesium glycinate as it’s kinder on the tummy but there are other magnesiums and also different forms. You can get it in a gel form which I’ve used rubbing a little on the soles of my feet before I go to sleep, or there’s magnesium salts to soak in but of course check it’s right for you.

https://www.imaware.health/blog/vitamin-d-and-magnesium?sscid=21k7_ks2p7&

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28471760/

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Tried to add this to my post above about magnesium but it had timed out.

Why is Magnesium important? - Menopause Treatment

why-is-magnesium-important? A diet rich in magnesium is vital for your body to turn food and supplements into energy fuel

menopausetreatment.co.uk

 

[Pixie06]

I'd never suffered from PMT, but in my late 30's/early 40's like clockwork 3 days before my period I'd lose the plot over the smallest thing like a bath towel being left on the floor. It's quite terrifying how it can make you feel and behave.

 

[Snooper82]

I’ve got Meg Matthew’s book the new hot and the Liz Earle menopause guide. I prefer the LE one and it was more informative I think but liked the MM one too. I’ve had lots of symptoms and issues, I’m probably just over a year into Peri (45) and had to have mirena removed due to a big bleed dislodging it. I started Menopace Plus 6 months ago which have helped and also take (wait for the essay) B12, C, D, magnesium with calcium, evening primrose with starflower and a probiotic. Also take collagen for skin nails hair and joints. The tingling hands and feet has stopped (always right before period), periods are still quite hideous for first couple of days but are now quite irregular and last ages. Mostly I’m bloody knackered. Been taking everything for six months and definitely feel much better though.

 

[House of Tea]

It’s good to have another perspective. I used to be on Louise Newson’s menopause matters forum and there were a lot of posters pushing HRT but there was also a lot of others who it didn’t agree with and who struggled with it.

At the moment I’m doing OK without it but quite a few of my friends are on it but some of them are struggling to find the right combination.

I do get annoyed with all the celebs who are on it and talk about testosterone etc but it’s because they’ve gone private. It’s hard to get testosterone on the NHS.

I remember on the MM forum a lot of them tried to complain about a Professor Studd who they went to privately yet he would give all of them the exact same regime and of course every woman is different and it didn’t work for a lot of them but he was raking the money in.

I do get annoyed about the celebs. They are in a completely different arena to a lot of women. Pushing themselves forward as experts but not relying on the NHS is bloody annoying and smacks of band wagoning.

 

[Suzesnooze]

45, started with a frozen shoulder. Now know this is a symptom of perimenopause

Yes it’s really common. I had it and two of my friends.

I also started age 45 and had a lot of joint aches and feelings of extreme tiredness and low mood. I then started getting a dry vagina (and really dry skin). I lost my sex drive and even if I have sex I found I lost my ability to orgasm. It just sort of peters out just as I reach orgasm! Most annoying!

Feelings of inadequacy, losing confidence, anxiety, brain fog etc, etc. The list is endless really!

 

[Rowan]

My worse symptoms were insomnia and anxiety. Also joint pain, hair loss and tingling hands and feet.
I'm not sure if I recommend it as such because it depends on the individual and their stage of menopause.

 

[Lalla]

Not a question, a statement of fact.

Bastard chin hairs. I have been walking around with two very long ones for God knows how long just under my chin. Just didn’t see them until just now. Mortifying. An inch and a half long each.

🧔‍♀️

They are the devil's work.

I remember first having one or two in my late 30s. And I'd pluck one then and see it again in a month. Now at 50 the fuckers are rampant. If I leave it more than a few days there are loads.

Has anyone gone through menopause without hot flushes? I remember my mum suffering these all the time for years. I'm pretty sure I am menopausal but not one hot flush, and not many other symptoms....not sure if I've just been extremely lucky or if it's common to escape lightly.