PTWM #38 M&S, Periods and Regatta Dens. The only thing she won’t sell is the rescue hens

[Maybebaby69]

Thread #39 suggestion; The lights are on but theres nobody home..

 

[Lucyinthesky88]

The latest post about only having your kids for 18 summers, what a load of old bollocks! I hate crap like this, you may only intend to have yours around until thay are 18 Racheelele but mine are 31 and married and 19 and still spend time with us as a family all summer long! God she fucks me off lol

Let’s be honest, she’s literally counting down the summers until all the tiny turds are out of her hair. All bar Wibble, who will be 35 and still sat propped up on the floor with pillows in front of Octonauts, terrified to speak in case his mum mistakes it for hunger and wallops a wrinkly old bap in his face

 

[LuckyBlueEyes]

She did it she asked the question and it’s still there 6 minutes later

 

[Scd1991]

Que long winded post about her nose...

one time I had a nose, a straight nose, a normal nose, I loved that nose, that nose was the only thing that kept me company in my bottom bunk after my mum abandoned me aged four... blah,blah,blah.... at that point I promised myself that all my children would always have a nose, never a nosebleed though! Bleeding should only be horrifically from a vagina.... never from a nose

 

[ShipShapShep]

I've just dropped my child off at school for the first time since March. It's only five and a half hours, one day a week, but I got back in the car and teared up.

Or.......in PTWM speak.....

I have stressed over this for weeks but I decided to send my baby to school today. I was mainlining Rescue Remedy so much that I've now run out (hint hint). As she let go of my hand, it felt like she was leaving for war and I began to sob horrifically. All the teachers came running out of the school and hugged me despite social distancing. I was gently guided back to my car, given a footrub to calm me down and then the Head came running out with a card about how amazing my child was for walking into her classroom. At this point I vomited horrifically and recorded my sob fest for the Gram.

 

[caitlinbullen]

Questions for the Aristotle of Devon

1. If you take donations intended for others, and spend them on tat for yourself, did that money ever really exist?

2. If I call it theft, and you call it a salary, who is right because who decided what those words mean anyway?

3. Which came first- the theft, or you being a Class-A twat?

4. If you say they're the #bekind daughters of Torquay, but we only ever see them behaving like brats....which are they?!

 

[ILoveUnicorns]

The lights are on, no ones home, somebody, anybody, please, please take her phone!!

 

[You can't hide now]

Those latest stories were quite literally bullshit. You could tell, the way she kept stopping, then embellishing further. She has absolutely no content so she’s trying to create something to get her huns frothing over. She’ll ‘wake up to’ 7000 messages tomorrow asking if the light was on

And asking her how many of her beans escaped and are now making a life for themselves in Mexico.

She probably never had beans when she was a child. Her mum probably took every can from the cupboard when she abandoned her. Then her dad remarried and got so caught up with his new wife that he never even thought to buy her beans. Her evil stepmother used to sit eating them straight from the tin in front of her, taunting her because she wouldn't let the beans live a nice, free life. And that's when she realised, at the age of 4, that not all beans have it easy and if she was ever lucky enough to be able to cook beans, she would always make sure that some were set free so they know they're loved, because she never knew she was. Not even when she was on her period.

 

[Dinnerbag]

Can I just say......
At the age of 4 my mum dragged me round big giant to do the food shopping, she wouldn’t let me stay in the play area they had so I vowed that day that I would never ever have to make my children do a big shop.
So this morning I went all on my own to Asda for my click and collect. As I pulled up there was a round of applause from all the keyworkers there doing there jobs because I managed to get up, dressed and drive all alone. They sobbed on bended knee as I loaded my shopping into my boot, praised my self restraint of never drinking as I placed the 6 cases of Carling on the back seat. As I closed the boot I noticed a young teenage girl vomiting horrifically because I managed to buy tampons and insert one without squatting over a mirror getting blood everywhere. once home, With the shopping I managed to put away single-handedly I sat down with a brew as the little turds made an appearance, leaving me fuming because I could of stayed in bed all morning.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door, stood there was the sweetest old man dressed head to toe in green, he handed me a bunch of flowers which made me feel like Elton john, and a card from Asda thanking me for using there shop.
If you want the real version please ask.... this was the embellished Rachel version

Btw I know my there their and they’re are wrong, that’s what happens when you don’t proof read....apologises to anyone that is twitching right now xx

 

[You can't hide now]

Can anyone give me a quick explanation on the light in window story haven't been on her stories for a few days and I'm lost

Basically she gets up for a piss every night at 2.20am and looks at the house across the road, that always has a light on. The light wasn't on the other night so she thought the owner of the house, who she doesn't know and has never met, had fallen and died. She pestered Joyce about it and bored us all to tears. Then last night, the light wasn't on, then it was on, and there was a man in a scream mask waiting to murder her. She pestered Joyce about it and bored us all to tears. Her mate from Huddersfield is going to drive down and knock on the door of the house, that Rachaeaeaele has shown us all, because Rachaeaeaeaele is so worried. Not only that, but her baked beans have to be saved in pairs so that they're not lonely and so when they move out to build a new life in some exotic city, they have a mate to start a family with. Trees that fall and destroy 3, or 4 cars, only make a sound if someone is listening and cows only moo if someone can hear. She doesn't understand why we don't slide about if the earth is round and the chicken and the egg thing blows her mind and makes her hair literally stand up on end and her eyebrows try to escape off the top of her forehead. She's had 71789429294 messages from followers that are all as mental as she is and one of them believes potatoes have feelings...

Hope that has cleared it up for you...

P.S. If you have a spare 14 hours, her stories still aren't worth watching. They're full of someone who is irrelevant and really fucking dull, trying to pretend to be interesting and quirky.

 

[Skirmish1979]

They prob don’t know where Issac is, Rach prob sent him to return the trolley at m&s the other day then forgot he existed and drove home without him.

Isaac & Seb are down the shop buying sanitary products. They think nothing of it

 

[caitlinbullen]

Thread?
Before we all thought she was just lazy, after this week we know she’s bats**t crazy.

 

[Skirmish1979]

Who was it that said Joyce gave them fanny gallops?? That still true?

Joyce makes my fanny drier than the Sahara

 

[FridaK]

Congrats to me @FridaK for the thread title. .
(Feel a bit of a div doing it myself, but the thread was over )
Previous threads in the tag

Topics being discussed lead me to take these two screenshots for a closer look and I feel it’s a fair representation of what kind of couple we are dealing with. (Solidarity with Wilby for the future, poor kid )
As you were gals

 

[Mufasa]

God she is so bloody predictable a blind man with no nose could see through her shit!

Hasn’t mentioned M&S in her entire time on social media. Yet in the last week we’ve had;

Rachel showing the M&S till belt full of shopping
Rachel bragging about an M&S spirit she ‘bought’ for her mate
Rachel showing off Edie’s M&S plastic toys that she never puts down*
*except when she’s crying over Roblox presumably?
Rachel showing her and Josh eating M&S ready meals and picky bits for dinner last night

Then WHADDAYA KNOW?! Hey guys M&S are paying me to talk about some plastic crap that costs a fortune swipe up

 

[Lozzymawozzy]

I don't understand how you can rescue poor, horrifically treated hens from slaughter and then have half a chicken on your plate for tea maybe it's just the vegetarian in me

 

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

I'm pretty sure we've got a scream mask in the loft, any of you huns want to paypal me the money for a train down from Scotland? I'll quite happily go and stand on her driveway at 2am in the morning wearing it.

 

[FromOopNorth]

My mate asked on FB for autobiography suggestions, by strong women who have fought the patriarchy, beaten the system against the odds, inspired people etc etc.

I bet you can guess what someone suggested???

Yes they fucking did!!

 

[Tiredbones]

All the "huns" need a life, a stiff drink and good rogering imagine them all in a conference hall... reminds me of the Ronald Dahl film "the witches"

This witch is my son's great-nan His great-grandad is a witch further back

 

[DipsyDoodle]

I'm pretty sure we've got a scream mask in the loft, any of you huns want to paypal me the money for a train down from Scotland? I'll quite happily go and stand on her driveway at 2am in the morning wearing it.

DM me your bank details hun and I'll put the money straight into your account. Then in a few weeks when you haven't been and I ask you what you've spent the money I donated on you can block me