Thanks to
@Imfinallyhere for the thread title, I edited for the swear. We're sending you for your very own weekend away in a shitty student flat with skiddy bedsheets, you'll have to bring your own fizzy cat's piss though!
Last thread recap:
- Lip Filler Lisa is, as always, a cunt.
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- Wobble and his animals were taken for a lovely festive day out....at the Volvo garage. With both adults at home without jobs, you'd think one of them could do errands while the other looked after the level 3 autistic, violent toddler. Anyway, they've had the "worst day in months" with "meltdown after meltdown" and "he hurt himself lots". If he was whingey it was probably because he's 3 and he was dragged to the car showroom, and he got very bored very quickly
yet again no evidence of any meltdowns or Wilbert being hurt.
-
@chickenshopcharlie regaled us all with a highly amusing round up of the implosion of a WhatsApp group set up by the Patreon huns, the full details can be found here
https://tattle.life/threads/ptwm-16...money-rach-tell-the-truth.36072/post-13190810 it's a long read, but I promise it's worth it! The "hubster"
of a hun (code name Derek) promised to come on Tattle and fuck us all up (here's the voice note
https://tattle.life/threads/ptwm-16...money-rach-tell-the-truth.36072/post-13197933), unfortunately poor old Derek didn't manage to keep to his word, and we all remain sadly unfucked! It turns out the huns have been raising money amongst themselves "for the prison babies", with one of them giving out her PayPal and bank details - sound familiar?! Rambo asked them not to discuss Tattle as it "makes her poorly", yeah sick at the thought of her loyal PatreCON customers coming here and seeing us talking sense about her scamming.
- some dickhead has sent a little gift for Wobbly (a colouring book). Of course Rancid thinks it's totally lush and not at all creepy that a complete stranger has managed to work out her address
- the parents of the year are taking their favourite kids off to Longleat for the day, and old Socks 'n' Sliders Steve asserted his authority by giving Isaac specific instructions for what to do when his delivery of a bird turns up. Oh, and Lula's not coming either, she's manning the till at the tat shop. On Patreon, Ratchet had said they were going to get up and off to Longleat between 7 and 8am, but at 10am they were still at home because loads of huns told her it was really busy. Ratfink emailed Longleat saying she's got an autistic child and asking if there's anything they can do (most SEN parents who need to make use of any special provisions would have done this in advance so they can plan appropriately, but what would they know?).
- meanwhile, Bratsy video called Scouse Jenna while she was cleaning her room naked - early attempt at starting her own Only Fans?
- it appears that the visit to the Volvo garage was to get Sloshy a new car, as while the monkeys were climbing all over it, he could be heard saying "I only got this yesterday". Who picks up a brand new car and the next day takes it to a safari park?
- apparently the queues were too long to get dinner, so instead the kids were given ice cream in the rain, and Wilby had a meltdown in the car on the way home (did he Raq? Was it actually a meltdown, or was it because he was tired, bored and hungry, because his ridiculous parents didn't plan properly for taking 2 children out for the day?).
- meanwhile, in Liverpool, Bratsy's trying to launch herself as an influencer, showing "a random day in the life, getting my eyebrows done". Yawn.
- Rectum threw a party for the women at the centre (aka her employees and hangers on), with the sort of buffet that hasn't been seen since a church hall kid's party in 1989.
- Rambo spent some quality family time with Mannah and her husband on Christmas Eve - by getting them to fold her laundry while she filmed them in the kitchen. Such an amazing host!
- on Christmas day, Wilbert was given more animals, and Edie commented "all we need now is Seb and Betsy"
has Seb moved out as well?
- Edie's got the Dior lip oil she asked for, complete with her name engraved on it (which would have made it £40, entirely appropriate for a 9 year old). Apparently Lula had wrapped all Edie's presents, because Ratface was clearly far too busy.
- as a special Christmas treat, we finally got to hear about Sloshy's row with the bin man. Thrilling stuff, although Slosh was disappointed that he didn't knock on the door to congratulate him on doing his recycling correctly the next week.
- OF COURSE there's a "FML" story about having no cooking oil, so Volvo Victor has packed all the kids up in his new motor to go off to try and get some so they can make their dinner. Horse Pubes Helen is missing Bratsy, and won't do a Christmas picture without her, but it's all ok because they're off to Liverpool to see her in a couple of days. The Santa at Wilbert's preschool went off sick, so they asked old Red Wine Raymond to step into the role. Luckily the fake beard covered most of his face and the tic tac teeth, so he didn't scare the kids too much.
- she's probably on the beg for an ad deal, because she tagged the cookware they're cooking their Christmas dinner with.You can use whatever pots and pans you like hun, your husband still serves up dishwater gravy!
- on Boxing Day Rancid and Merlot Malcolm headed out with some of the kids to have a boozy lunch Arsetrid and Simon, and Sloshy was complaining about Lula being bored and slumped on the table. Rumplestiltskin spilt her hot chocolate on Arsetrid's cream coloured jeans, and afterwards in the park she bit Lula on the head
- the trip to visit the golden child is looming, and Rectum couldn't be more excited to be reunited with her favourite. Meanwhile, Bratsy can't do anything without Jenna reporting back to BV Brenda, with texts being screenshot and shared
- despite claiming that she can't drive on the motorway, Lip Filler Lesley managed to drive all the way to Liverpool, which apparently took ten hours. Well done hun, you definitely deserve a fizzy cat's piss or two after that!
- Silky Penis Steve was allowed out without Ratchet surgically attached! I mean, he was only allowed to take Wilbert to the zoo, and probably had to send his live location to the most beautiful woman in his world every 30 seconds to make sure he wasn't falling chipolata first into a hot female keeper.
- the older kids appear to have been left to their own devices in a strange city while the gruesome twosome headed out for a meal. Poor little level 3 autistic, violent Wilby, staying in a strange place surrounded by strange people, however will he cope? Just fine, apparently
- it turns out that the "lush" Airbnb that Rabies rented in the city centre is actually some scummy student accommodation with locks on all the doors
no expense spared when she's off to love Knife Tattoo Nigel the hardest, but when the kids are involved it's the cheapest and shittest she can find. Tallulah had a medical emergency involving passing blood clots "the size of a fist, with veins", and was taken to hospital, but the wait was 12 hours so her loving mother took her back to the shit rental (and put a clot in the freezer to show the doctor when they get home). Excellent parenting, not only not bothering to get appropriate medical advice at the time, but talking about it to the paying huns.
Just a reminder that a D&C police officer was dismissed for misconduct, with the date of this article being the same date as a certain person started their "career break"...
'Through their actions the officer undermined the public’s trust and confidence in the police force'
www.devonlive.com
Running total of overnight breaks away since Joyce started his career break on 15 June:
Night at Herpes Lodge (midweek)
Night in Exeter (Saturday)
Night in London (midweek)
July:
Joyce's birthday - one night at Boringdon Hall (midweek), then two nights (Friday and Saturday) in a lodge in Cornwall with Arsetrid and Simon.
October:
Herpes Lodge (weekend), night in London (mid week in half term), Friday night in Southampton
November - 2 nights in London (Sunday and Monday)
December - 5 nights in Jubai
If you are new, please read the wiki (pink button at the top) and if you are in need of support or advice in relation to domestic abuse, there are some links and helplines listed at the bottom of the wiki page
