Just resurrecting this thread as I had some great advice and support. I am hoping that some of the posters who were so kind and helpful are still around.
My friend who I previously mentioned as being in prison is now unfortunately back in prison. She’s on remand at the moment but is pretty certain she’s facing at least 18 months (so essentially 9 months)
This time was a little different as last time she was taken from court and was prepared but this time she was arrested at home and had nothing. She was able to get some money to me and gave me a list of things she needs, which caused me some stress (I’m autistic, I always struggle buying stuff for others- I barely know what I want for myself half the time!) so I did my best for her.
I know about the virtual visits and stuff but I’ve promised her that this time I will for sure go and visit her in person.
So I have some more questions (sorry)
1) Can I send her a Christmas present? And is there anything I should particularly avoid sending or anything that might be particularly helpful? She said that should be fine but I like to be prepared.
2) I want to make sure she’s got money at least as her last UC payment won’t last all that time. I’ve sent her a tenner already but could I set up a standing order every month so she’s at least got something?
3) Also, what are in person visits like? Despite my autism I’m very independent, but I do struggle with stress and get upset easily. I work for a government department so I’m used to strict rules and things and have no issues following them, I’m just wondering if I would struggle with the environment.
I spoke at length to her on Friday and she’s told me she’s fine and not to worry. She sounds quite upbeat- she actually said she’s relieved she’s going to be in prison for Christmas as she lives on her own and has no family. I’m the only person who has stuck by her (she knows I don’t condone what she did, however I don’t judge her for it) and I’m at the other end of the country with a full time job and a full time caring responsibility for my husband so I can’t really do much practically but offer my support (and do her shopping!
I sort of knew she had gone back to prison, she was housebound due to her medical problems and when she didn’t answer when I rang her I knew straight away. I felt awful that I got really cross with her when she called and told me (as she got sent back to prison due to doing something stupid which several people, including me had warned her not to do) and I did apologise for losing my temper. But thankfully- she understood and told me that she didn’t blame me for getting cross with her. I was in a busy station when she last rang and then I had to get on a train so I was limited to what I could say but I think we both said everything that needed saying.
She’s told me not to worry and I think I’m better prepared than last time. I do miss her hugely- and we were due to have a big night out in November that I had booked flights etc for, which I am gutted about but it is what it is. I miss her loads and keeping my fingers firmly crossed for a good outcome when she’s in court next month.