Pregnancy

[Easilyannoyed]

I just bought a pregnancy vitamin and its all included
Congratulations.
The worrying is completely normal! No matter what number child you're on
Don't worry about not being able to contact them until Monday.
How far along are you if you are due September?

It says 5 weeks but I don’t really trust it because my periods are very all over the place and it asks for cycle length which my average is 44 days some checkers don’t go that high. I was meant to be seeking help through a clinic to test my fertility thank you so much I feel so happy I can say on here because I haven’t told anyone. I am just very anxious I’m going to order some tablets now I’ve only got folic acid xx

 

[Tui]

It gets more interesting once you start growing a real bump and having kicks etc. I’m really enjoying those things now

 

[Rainbow1]

I'm 19 weeks and don't feel excited, just very anxious and nervous and wanting the 21 week scan to arrive asap to make sure everything is ok even though everything was fine at the 13 week scan. I haven't bought any baby stuff yet.

And I know everyone carries differently, but I feel like I'm pretty small. I'm an average size 12 but my 'bump' just looks like I've had a massive kebab and chips when I raise my top. It's not rounded or anything and you wouldn't be able to tell if you saw me in the street. I suffer a lot from body dysmorphia so quite happy I'm not really showing, but also a little concerned that I probably should be bigger? Doesn't help that the 16-18 week appointments were cancelled so haven't been measured at all.

at 38 weeks just got the pram and bedside crib at the weekend

everyone had been asking me for weeks after the 20 week scan had I bought anything but to be honest I felt like I was ‘jinxing’ myself so put it off as long as possible!

I have found pregnancy such a stressful time I suppose not knowing what to expect! It’s so different for everyone and hard to not compare especially when you see posts on Instagram etc

 

[Sw4]

It's normal throughout the whole thing unfortunately!

Thanks, actually feel a bit silly now because a few minutes after writing that I (TMI) had to let a big one rip and it seemed to alleviate it I didn't even realise I was that gassy tonight!

 

[Tui]

I am planning to breastfeed but as this is my first baby I obviously have no idea how I will find it. One thing I don't like is the mental gymnastics to make bottle feeding on par with breast milk. Ultimately not everyone can breastfeed for various reasons and bottle feeding is a totally fine method to feed your baby, but in an attempt to not shame bottle feeding mums there seems to be a new huge resistance to accepting that breast milk is better nutritionally. It just seems anti science to me.
If I can't stick with breastfeeding I will happily feed with formula but I can acknowledge the benefits of one without rubbishing the other.

It is interesting I've seem lots of comments where people complain about how breastfeeding is too heavily pushed these days. I'm 30 and when I was born in NI the hospital put babies right on formula. I have loads of younger cousins and not one of them were breastfeed because the hospital pushed formula instantly. I think advocating for breast is better than those days at least.

I think it also depends on who you have around you. Growing up many of my cousins were bottle fed (although I’m ignorant of the reasons as I was a kid and didn’t pay attention to this stuff!)
Most of my friends (early 30s, university educated) breastfed their babies but they had access to support when they needed it. I think it doesn’t help that formula companies can throw money at advertising while breastfeeding doesn’t have the same endless pots of money! And I’ve heard some really bizarre advice about feeding getting doled out by health visitors, doctors or midwives to friends/colleagues when they were breastfeeding. As a doctor myself I can hold my hands up and say we get taught absolutely bugger all about how to breastfeed a baby. I vaguely remember learning how many ounces of formula babies of different ages should be having. I’m not an obstetrician/GP/paediatrician but still spent 5 years in uni so should really have been taught something about infant feeding!

 

[Jg182]

I can't imagine what you are going through, this was my biggest fear.
I know it's not possible for everyone but you could you have a harmony or other DNA test for accuracy? Its about 7-10 day turnaround.
Have they offered the CVS yet, you can have this now privately too? 3 days for definitive answer I believe.
When I was researching it, I found that the nuchal scan alone is not very accurate at all.
Also, the 1/100 quoted stat of miscarriage risk in Amniocentesis or CVS is misleading as usually the procedure is performed because the baby is at risk or poorly already so would have been lost even without the procedure.

They have said if the results come back high chance of chromosome issues that the nhs will do a dna test which is 99.9% accurate so I’m assuming similar to harmony. They did mention a CVS too. She said placentas at the front so would make cvs easier to do. Then if all comes back fine they will take a closer look at heart for defects.
This is what I was dreading too, but I still can’t quite believe it’s happening to us. Just really not sure how I’m gonna get through this next few weeks, my mental health is bad anyway and anxiety is though the roof.

 

[Chickenandgravy]

For those of you that have already had a baby....what's the one thing you wish you had been told the first time around?

I'm terrified of labour so I've got the feeling I might regret asking this

 

[Gilmoregirl18]

I am 30 weeks, so far I have spoke to midwife over the phone at 8 weeks, saw her at 9, 16, 24 and 28 weeks, due to see her again when I am 34 weeks.
At my 24 week appointment, I had high blood pressure, so was sent to the DAU for monitoring, it came down instantly, but I now have to go weekly for blood pressure check, blood tests and monitoring on baby to check for signs of pre eclampsia.

Although it's a pain going back and forth to the hospital, I am glad me and the baby are getting the right care, it's shocking to hear all your stories about the lack of care being given.

 

[Octopies]

Ladies can I ask something really embarrassing I’ve been desperate to ask someone but feel really stupid and at least I’m anonymous here.

I’m 24 weeks with my first. I’ve only slept with 1 person and I’m mid 20s so I’ve never had a smear test etc. To be honest I’ve never had anything ‘medical’ happen to me in my life so naturally finding this all very strange and very anxious about it all.

I have always found sex quite painful / uncomfortable and always felt like my partner is too ‘big’ (he’s average it just ‘feels’ that way!). I also find tampons quite painful to use. I went to the doctors about the sex thing when I was at uni as it would cause me to bleed and they just told me to use more lube and sent me away. Nobody has ever actually checked it out. (Boyfriend was also a virgin Til he met me so can’t tell me what’s ‘normal’ or not )

anyway now I’m really scared that medically I might have something ‘wrong’ down there or I might be quite small/ have an issue and nobody would know about it (until it’s too late and I can’t push a baby out of there!!)


Is it possible to be too small to give birth (btw I’m not a small person I’m a 5ft7 wide hipped size lady!!)

i am really considering raising this with my midwife and asking her to ‘take a look’ to settle my nerves as I feel like a freak would that be nuts?!

 

[swimming]

Is anyone else getting worried about not being able to buy bits for the baby due to covid restrictions/lockdown until March? I’m T4 in Essex atm. I’m due in May and will buy most things online but I’m clueless about prams and had planned to start looking this month so I could have a look/try out a few. I also need to upgrade my car as it’s tiny, panicking now that I won’t have a chance to get either before baby arrives!

Omg me!

I am T4 and due in June. I was hoping to go to John Lewis and have a play with all the prams. I was hoping for a travel system and I’ve saved so hard to get a budget of £1500 for a travel system so I want the full experience (unlikely, I know). But something doesn’t sit right with me buying online with that cost and then possibly having the faff of sending it back if it doesn’t suit.

It’s extremely stressful and I can’t help but feel bitter and angry at all the clowns around here swanning around Home Bargains etc still and yet I can’t go out and make a meaningful purchase for my first baby.

 

[Stimpii]

It’s incredible what people say to you when you’re pregnant isn’t it?? I miscarried in April, when I got pregnant with this baby and subsequently saw my doctor for something unrelated they asked me first if I was “still pregnant” and then if it was planned!

I had a miscarriage before each of my boys and people would still ask when we were trying again after it happened. Some people have no clue.

I know how hard pregnancies after loss are so sending you lots of love

 

[Tui]

I did three because I didn’t believe the first one it was a cheap one - 2 for £5 at the pharmacy. Then i did one of those clear blue week indicator ones just to make sure!

I know exactly how you feel though, I’m only six weeks and I feel like time has slowed down and I have forever to go before it’ll seem real! So tempted to get an early scan but really on the fence with it, I feel like I’d like to know now if something is wrong but then if anything is ambiguous it’ll be another agonising wait for the 12 week one!

The first trimester feels like the longest, it drags for ages even though all three are the same length!

 

[teddypicker89]

39 weeks today!
Other half hasn't been allowed to come to a single nhs appointment and it's our first, but feeling grateful that he can be there throughout the birth and no restrictions on how long he can stay after baby is born.

We booked two private scans - one at 10 weeks and another just before 20 weeks so he could be there to see baby - not cheap but really worth it to have him there!

 

[Octopies]

Hi lovely people just wondering if anyone can help settle my nerves.

I’m 28 weeks, FTM, baby was very unplanned but a happy surprise. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 7 years. We are very close. I keep getting jittery / panicky about how this is going to change our relationship. I really treasure our alone time and I know we won’t really have any again. I’m scared, if I’m honest, that we’ll grow apart! If anyone wants to share the positive ways in which having a baby changed their relationship I would be so grateful... feels like from the minute you get pregnant people love to tell you how crap your life’s gonna be...

 

[elloelloello]

Hey everyone.

Been lurking on here for a few days, I had an ectopic back in January 2020. Found out I was pregnant just before Christmas and been having awful one sided pelvic pain just like I did with my ectopic minus the bleeding. Went for a early ultrasound today to confirm and I have a healthy 7week babies heartbeat beating away at me. I am so overwhelmed right now I can’t quite believe something positive has happened to me. I just thought I’d share my news here as I don’t want to share with family and friends just yet can’t believe it

This has made me cry!! I went through the same thing as you at the very end of February so know what you’ve been through it’s awful.
So happy for you and your baby looks so cosy in there!! !!
I have my scan tomorrow, nervous but excited.
How exciting though, you must be totally overwhelmed and bursting with happiness

 

[littlepup]

Feeling a bit rubbish this evening. My mom called and asked how I am, I said feeling a bit down what with feeling sick all day every day. I just feel a bit pathetic being this floored by pregnancy when I’m not even 6 weeks. And she said ‘well you wanted to be pregnant.’ And all this shit. Basically telling me off for feeling down.

Of course I want to be pregnant. I’m so so happy I’m pregnant, I feel so lucky. But surely I’m also allowed to feel a bit fed up with feeling sick all day every day so early in pregnancy. I feel like I have a long road ahead and it overwhelmed me a bit this evening. My moms never had morning sickness so she can hardly comment. Just feel a bit shit now. Won’t be telling her anything, I’ll just tell her I’m fine if she asks.

Tell her to have a chat with me
I HATE pregnancy, I hate everything about it. From about 7 weeks I felt sick every day and when that stopped I have been in excruciating pain 24/7 bar about 2 weeks respite. My tits are ruined, my arse is huge, I’m constipated, I sweat like crazy, have random hairs growing in random places and I can’t sleep. Worst of all, it’s totally fucked with my mental health and relationships because I’ve been such a bitch to everyone.

Do I want this baby? More than anything!!!
Will I be pregnant again? God willing, absolutely!!!
Does any of this really matter at all? Not a chance, but right now it’s not ideal.
I’m 38, nearly 39, this is my first pregnancy, I am very well aware of longing for a baby and it never happening, I do not take it for granted, I appreciate how lucky and what a privilege it is to have this. But I don’t like it.
It’s a process to get to the goal. You don’t have to like the process and you don’t have to pretend it’s not shit to want the end result.

If you say you hate dieting and exercise but want to get slim no one says you should be lucky to have the food or the legs to run, they accept it. Don’t like flying but love the holiday, that’s fair enough ‘all that travelling is such a pain’ they’ll say.
There’s something about pregnancy that people seem to think they can just shit on, give opinions that makes you want to just keep your mouth shut. Don’t, don’t let their negativity guilt you or make you feel shit. (Obviously you can be tactful but) You’re allowed to feel whatever you want to feel.

Oh and pregnancy has actually cleared my skin right up so there’s a positive

 

[Sw4]

Can I join? First pregnancy, 9+6 today and I have my harmony test and early scan on Tuesday when I'll be 10+3, then my NHS scan on the 23rd.

I am so so anxious. I feel like I've had a pretty easy ride so far in terms of symptoms (mainly just tiredness and loss of appetite in the evenings, only very mild nausea) so I feel like at some point everything is going to come crashing down. I can't even think about the birth or other baby stuff atm, I'm hoping the scan on Tuesday shows good news.

 

[Stimpii]

We were planning to tell our parents our news face to face over Christmas (currently 12 weeks) but just been put into tier 4 so all plans are off. Going to have to announce over FaceTime instead now

We announced ours over a video call with a load of my family back in June. Even tho it would have been nicer to do it in real life it was still fun. You could screen record it too so you’ll be able to watch it back.

Try and think of a fun way to get it into the video call

 

[WhatABore]

So Iv got an appointment on Thursday with the obstetrician- I’m 15 weeks- and I have no idea why I’m seeing him. I presume it’s because I’m high risk due to my age and a heart problem. But what sort of thing should I expect when I get there? Will he do tests? Or just talk to me? I’m getting abit anxious about it because I don’t know what to expect! I know that sounds abit silly, but I just don’t know what sort of things they deal with. I’m totally clueless

I think it'll be similar questions to a midwife appointment.
They'll probably tell you the risks included with you being a bit older, anything that may affect your heart, and how they'll be keeping an eye on you. I'd imagine that's about it

I argued with my mum about this kind of thing the other day. It's been almost 40 years since she had babies, not every single thing I say needs her input. Just let me have it.
I wish people would just stop fucking saying 'Oh just you wait...' like it's some kind of competition or they need to show how much they know and how naive I am. I get it, I'm well aware it's hard, but it's my experience, let me find out just like you did, just like every single other mother did.
It's never constructive and like 'Oh, the tiredness doesn't get better for a long time but google 4th trimester and get a white noise machine" - It's always "Just you wait, you don't know tired until you've had a newborn screaming and puking on the bed at 4am *smug smile*"


I'm so glad you're going in, everything you said indicated a serious situation not to be ignored. I so hope it's just regular pregnancy twangs and relieved that you'll know for sure

Please ladies, there's no room for 'I don't want to bother them' or 'It's probably nothing, don't want to cause a fuss'. The way things are right now with reduced midwife contact, lack of face to face, stay informed of the key symptoms for common complications like diabetes and pre-eclampsia and advocate for yourself with the professionals. Miscarriage is not the worst outcome, pregnancy is the most dangerous thing the average woman can go through.


The Pregnancy Book | HSC Public Health Agency (hscni.net) - chapter 2 might help
Or This
Good to ask those kind of questions when they book you or call your midwives and ask, they will definitively know all of the answers, each hospital can be different.
At first I found myself overwhelmed and shell-shocked every contact and I'd forget everything they said. Now I write down and write down questions before appointments.

Exactly.
And then after you've had your baby, you can say about how good they are, how well they sleep or bad, how chilled they are ect ect. And it's always "Oh just wait until this stage, just wait until that age"

None of it has been as bad as anyone has ever made out.
Even now when I've experienced it twice, I still get told "Just wait until labour if you're in pain now. Just wait until you have 3"
How about just wait until you shut up

Had my 12 week scan today. Measuring 13 weeks. Been told baby has too much fluid at back of neck measuring 5.3mm. Got to wait on blood test results then keep testing for chromosome issues if comes back high chance. Said other issues could include heart defects.
I’m devastated. I can’t find any postive stories online.

Sorry to hear this
I can't advice as it isn't something I've experienced personally.
All the stories online tend to be the bad ones though, people don't tend to write about the good stories

 

[Al26]

Thank you everyone I'm feeling a little better now! Will try and stay calm and positive this next week
Hope everyone else is feeling well