Pregnancy

[WhatABore]

Just going to rant a little

So Christmas eve, I phoned the GP because I thought I may have a UTI. She didn't do a urine test but put me on antibiotics anyway.
They appeared to have worked but not until the last day of them when I finally had no pain, that was the 31st.
Called today because the pain returned 2 days ago, was awake all night last night with it.
She said bring in a urine sample and it should be back by Friday.
So I go in instantly to get it, take it back straight away, to be told their currier left hours ago and the results won't be back until Monday.
The receptionist then says "If it is a UTI, I wouldn't advise leaving it that long"

I phoned the number they give you to call on your maternity packs, and she says they can't do anything only the GPs.

So basically I'm left in pain, until Monday at the earliest with a possible UTI

 

[WhatABore]

Thanks all!



I know, I honestly have no idea! And my partner keeps suggesting ridiculous names - Xerxes anyone?! The sonographer said she's very happy with the baby and all her comments when she was checking everything were "very nice", "perfect", so that's given me a lot of reassurance.

My mum has messaged me a couple times asking when my appointment was, but I still feel so sour about her reaction last week and how "disappointed" she was and "doesn't want to be a grandma" that I've been ignoring her, I do feel a bit bad though.

Men sometimes have the weirdest suggestions for names. My partner has been dead set on Rufus.
Sorry if anyone has a child called that... But I just can't picture anything other than a dog

 

[jazyblu]

I wanted a surprise initially but husband wanted to know. Again, previous miscarriage influenced my decision as I wanted to picture the baby better and glad we did find out, instantly changed my outlook and I could see myself with the baby in the future way better than I could before. Annoyingly most people presume it’s so you can decide what clothes to buy which for
me it was never about (although is Convenient to not have to only buy gender neutral as many shops don’t even have a gender neutral section beyond newborn!)

I was going back and forth on finding out early as we had a bit of a miscarriage scare and went through 3 awful weeks waiting for a follow up scan to see if the pregnancy was viable or not. I then realised I am currently pregnant, I'm already attached and if anything did happen I wouldn't regret finding out.
So many people assume it is just so you can paint a room pink or buy loads of gendered toys! I totally get that some people don't need to know the sex in order for it so feel "real" but for me I think it will help!
I just think the surprise of being handed a baby will be enough on delivery day, finding out the sex and still having to pick a name etc just seems like too much for one day to me

 

[moimoi]

What a horrible, awful thing to say

In the spirit of Christmas, I’ll leave it at that. She’s lucky I’ve put away my Halloween voodoo doll.

Congratulations to you and your partner. What exciting news, and I hope you have a smooth pregnancy!

She needs something!! But thank you! In hindsight I wish I just told her after it was born, which I know is ridiculous and I’d feel so sad if my own daughter felt like that.

Also told my partner’s parents tonight and they had much better reactions, his mum cried with happiness.

Good luck with everyone announcing theirs to family today! I hope to read nicer stories!!

 

[Definitelyme]

People are always so ready to rain on your parade...

Yes, having a new baby is a strain. You’re tired, you’re emotional, you’re stressed. So is your partner. Yes, it’s a change in your relationship. But all of that is manageable through communicating, honesty and remembering that you’re a team.

My DH was a single dad when I met him,
our now eldest boy was 2.5. His first wife passed when baby boy was 3 months old. I think that gave him a lot of insight into cherishing having that relationship and support. It also meant he was very, very good when the rest of our brood came along, and was already comfortable being a dad. He was a brilliant dad on his own to our biggest lad, and it was actually one of the reasons I said yes to marrying him.

I love watching him as a dad. It’s a really lovely thing to see another side of the person you love. He’s kind, he’s gentle, he’s the bringer of fun, the fixer of problems. and our kids adore him. Seeing your partner with your tiny newborn is all kinds of lovely (I think it’s something monkey-brain about seeing strong man with little human that makes you want more!) Seeing your 9 year old run straight for his dad when he scores a goal at footie is also just as lovely. I love our time as a family, I love being together as a six. I’m so glad our kids have him as their dad.

Yes, you’ll argue, you’ll disagree, there will be cock ups. You’re learning to be parents, and a family together. It’s only a true issue if you let it be

bloody hell, talk about making a whole load of hormonal women cry, that is beautiful

 

[Death2unicorns]

We never find out and haven’t this time either.

We won’t be having a nursery, we didn’t for our last baby either. I co-sleep with my babies so there is no point in having a room that isn’t ever used!

love this post! Really resonates with me, I done up a nice nursery and bought a gorgeous expensive sleigh-style cot, with visions in my head of popping my little girl down to sleep in her beautiful cot while I potter around getting on with things, and has my now 20 month old little angel ever once slept in that beautiful expensive cot?? No she bloody hasn’t not even once in her whole life!! she screams bloody murder if I try to get her to sleep on her own.

Something I feel that all first time mums should be made aware of is that there is a strong chance that the baby will prefer to sleep with you, and that’s absolutely normal and not something to try and ‘train’ them out of - some things well worth reading up on before the baby gets here are: safe co-sleeping/safe bed-sharing (yes it can be done safely and is often a life saver for the parents who aren’t getting any sleep because baby screams as soon as they are put down to sleep on their own) normal baby sleeping patterns, 4th trimester, attachment theories, and baby-led parenting/ evolutionary parenting, these things are unfortunately not even touched on in most antenatal classes but will help you understand your babies behaviours and needs a bit better, there’s an unbelievable amount of ridiculously wrong info out there about what’s normal for a babies sleep patterns and leads some parents into doing things like forcing unrealistic routines and early night weaning

the birth and afterwards - some things I wish someone had told me - someone else mentioned it but labour pains can just be all in your bum and back - I didn’t have a single contraction across the front of my belly, just had constant crippling pain across my back for the entire time, didn’t even know when I was having a contraction as the pain was constant, I couldn’t sit down or lie down as I couldn’t bend my back, it was nothing like what I’d seen on tv with a women clutching her tummy as a contraction rips through her then stops until the next one, didn’t feel a thing in the front of my belly! (Turned got my little girl was in an awkward back to back position), don’t feel like you have to try and get through this without pain relief, the moment I had the epidural my labour actually become an amazing positive experience and I had fully bought into the idea from things like hypno birthing that my labour would only be positive and amazing if I didn’t take all the drugs

breastfeeding after the birth can give you such bad uterus contractions you will feel like you are in labour again, will make you pour with blood, but is amazing for getting your uterus back to its normal size much quicker!

just wanted to share some of my thoughts, and read through this thread to try and gear myself up to go for baby number 2!

 

[IncognitHoe]

I’m 12 weeks Christmas Day it will feel like such a relief getting to that point This is my second but I have not been myself at all this pregnancy hoping things get better soon because me summed up in one day is - honestly. SEND HELP 12 week scan next week so that’s keeping me going I did go private at 8 weeks too just because I’m an impatient mare and needed confirmation that I’m definitely preggo blessings and good luck on your journeys mumas

 

[HoneyBee29]

It usually does, and then you get to the final hurdle and time seems to stop. I went to 42 weeks with my first and vividly recall how miserable I felt in those last couple of weeks. It dragged. I was so heavy and sore (he was almost 11lbs at birth).

OMG 11lbs it has kind of hit me now the last few weeks though that oh shit I’ve to a push a baby out of my hoo ha in less than 3 months

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Had my 12 week scan today. Measuring 13 weeks. Been told baby has too much fluid at back of neck measuring 5.3mm. Got to wait on blood test results then keep testing for chromosome issues if comes back high chance. Said other issues could include heart defects.
I’m devastated. I can’t find any postive stories online.

Exactly what @WhatABore said, you never do hear positive stories online because they get a good outcome. Sorry I don't have any advice either.

 

[Jg182]

I’m going for a private scan today! As I’m 12 weeks on Boxing Day so my 12 week scan isn’t till January and I’m impatient. Would like to tell close family for Xmas!! I’m so nervous. Had one at 7+5 and all was fine!!

 

[MrsJones83]

My friend is due identical twin boys three weeks before me. She went for a dating scan and there was one baby, went for her 12 week scan and there were two! I’m 23+4 today.

 

[Hbirdette]

Hey Thankyou for your reply.
we had The call this morning to say chance of Down syndrome is 1 in 4. So have decided to go straight to the invasive testing to find out for definite. Luckily it’s gonna be tommorow so we don’t have to wait to long, then get back results in 3 days. I don’t think our chances are looking too postive at the moment.

Really really thinking of you at this difficult time I totally get why you would go for that procedure straight away. How are the doctors being with you? I hope they have told you about a charity called ARC which I spoke to a few times and they are really helpful. I am mutual friends with a fetal medical consultant and she said there’s a lot of women who get given this result and it can come back as totally fine. I know it’s not always the case but it can be sometimes. Please remember that the tests you’ve had so far are only about 70% accurate (this is what I was told by my consultant) whereas you will get much more accurate results from the other test. I’ll keep you in my thoughts

 

[Tui]

Sorry for the random question..

I just stupidly logged into babycentre and joined my birth club.. I’m around 5.2 weeks I think and all the ladies on there are chatting about taking more tests and seeing the weeks progress on the clear blue digital and it’s made me worried! I only did one test and got a positive 1-2 weeks clear blue. Making me doubt myself and I feel like I should do more tests?

Even though I know my test wouldn’t give me a false positive it has me worried. Did you all just do the one test or did you do a few?

I know I shouldn’t be worrying about something so stupid going to stay away from the baby apps I think

Nah it’s bollocks. Don’t waste your money. I did lots of tests but I was a bit addicted to peeing on a stick and I bought the bulk bought cheapie strips online. Stopped testing after 6-7 weeks. The progression thing is nonsense as HCG doesn’t rise in a linear fashion. I think it just gives anxious women something to focus on which I understand

 

[Definitelyme]

We never make any big announcements. We tell family, and then close friends as and when it “comes up”, so if we see them it’s obvious I am pregnant, or if it comes up in convo. I would say most people we know still don’t know I’m pregnant (24 weeks) simply as it hasn’t come up and I don’t obviously see many people atm. Don’t feel you have to tell everyone (or anyone) in a big way.

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Thanks for starting the thread!

I'm 18 weeks and 4 days, my first one and terrified as I have no idea what to do. It was really an emotional time when I found out as it was unplanned and I really wasn't sure what I was going to do. I even got to the point of going to Marie Stopes and getting the pills, they were actually lovely and I had a few counselling sessions with them, they weren't pushy at all. I still feel completely terrible about it though and worried I'm gonna get some kind of bad karma for it!

Also needing to move out of our current place by end of February, want more space for the baby and move out of the city to save money and a bit safer. Moving is stressful for anyone but trying to find a place with a baby on the way and during these times with restricted viewings is a nightmare.

I had a termination this time last year and I was plagued by the thought that because id done that I didn't deserve this one and something would happen. Ultimately it was the right decision for me at the time.

So I totally get where you're coming from with that angle!

 

[Tui]

I’m also team boy! Planning on calling him Alexander. Thankfully a name we agreed on fairly painlessly, my husband hated loads of my suggestions for girls names so it’s just as well he’s a boy!

Pram wise I have gone for an Uppababy Vista V2. Bit on the pricey side but gets excellent reviews and my two friends love theirs. It’s very easy to collapse down, has a huge basket and can be converted into a double if any future babies come along while the first is still in the pram. Also has lots of nice little features included like mesh vents and rain cover. Got a Cybex Cloud Z car seat as it is compatible with the pram, rotates and reclines so no time limit for using it when out with the pram. Again, a pricey option but I got my cot for £70 off Facebook and a second hand bedside crib so I saved £330 that way!

 

[Jg182]

Really really thinking of you at this difficult time I totally get why you would go for that procedure straight away. How are the doctors being with you? I hope they have told you about a charity called ARC which I spoke to a few times and they are really helpful. I am mutual friends with a fetal medical consultant and she said there’s a lot of women who get given this result and it can come back as totally fine. I know it’s not always the case but it can be sometimes. Please remember that the tests you’ve had so far are only about 70% accurate (this is what I was told by my consultant) whereas you will get much more accurate results from the other test. I’ll keep you in my thoughts

Thankyou. Tbh so far they have just suggested I think about my options if this test was to come back postive. I feel like they are preparing me for the worse.
I do worry if these come back negative to what other problems they might find.
my heads just a mess tbh. I don’t know what to think really.

 

[Definitelyme]

In terms of labour, be open to anything as you just never know what’s going to happen.

And it’s not fun, but some of us have been back for may rounds so it’s not too awful (and I’ve had some pretty rough times!)

 

[Tui]

1st pregnancy following IVF treatment in July. 6 years to get here, stage 3 endometriosis, blocked Fallopian tubes and PCOS, that was stopping me from getting pregnant! Anyway, had my 20 week scan recently, all went well in terms of his size and no abnormalities found, found out the sex and then at the end she tells me I have placenta previa, after a brief explanation I totally freaked out so have researched since and feel abit more calmer about it now, there isn’t a lot I can do, only hope that it moves on its own, however, I’m not fussed about a C-section if it came to it. Have had horrendous morning sickness up until around 3 weeks ago, (now 23 weeks) had 3 weeks of being able to feel slightly normal again and get back to work, then I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, insulin controlled. I have read so much about gestational diabetes occurring due to being overweight and the foods you eat! This couldn’t be further from the truth, obviously having a high BMI doesn’t help, but I am not overweight and always been careful about what I eat, my paternal family members have it and I have PCOS so my risk of getting it was pretty high regardless of weight.
I’ve felt pretty low in mood since the diagnosis, im
Constantly on edge incase I’ve eaten too much of something, not eaten the right thing, not eaten enough, it’s a bloody minefield! One thing I will say, my Hospital trust have been absolutely amazing, so supportive and schedule in an appointment every 2 weeks until the baby is here to keep an eye on things, this is the standard for everyone I believe! But the diabetes midwives have been brilliant (who knew they were even a thing) I feel like I’m chatting to a close friend when I speak to them, it makes such a difference to my anxiety. I hope the next 3/4 months go nice and smoothly and I don’t have any issues with the diabetes, my little boy is the most important thing to me now and I’ve not even met him yet! It’s crazy how we can love something so much that we haven’t even seen. Luckily I have an amazing husband and family who are really supportive so have been picking me up when I’ve had a few tears, it’s not good to bottle things up.

The best feeling in the world is feeling him moving, kicking around! I smile and laugh so much when he’s really active, it’s a lovely reassurance that he’s doing just fine in there. It’s taken ALOT of hard work to get here, IVF is probably the most physically and mentally draining experience of my life so I feel totally blessed to be in this position. I do my best not to moan to anyone (other than my husband) about pregnancy symptoms, as I know how difficult it is for those who are struggling to conceive, or perhaps had a recent miscarriage or stillbirth. It’s absolutely your right to moan and feel fed up during pregnancy, cause it isn’t easy, but I will always have that in the front of my mind to be mindful of what I say and to who.

I hope that last bit doesn’t make me sound like a bitch, I’m just flying the flag for my fellow infertile friends who i have met along the way and haven’t yet had their baby. I will always support them even though I have been successful this time round,

I agree, I try hard not to moan and to be honest have very little to moan about apart from all the usual covid related shit we are all dealing with. I had a loss in April and my SIL had a miscarriage not long after, after nearly a year of trying with PCOS. She’s now waiting for IVF with my BIL so I’m very aware of fortunate my husband and I are to have had two pregnancies, even though one was not successful.

Also love the baby kicks, I felt movement fairly early (16 weeks) and it was so incredibly reassuring after that to know that he is ok in there.

I would bring it up with your midwife.
However, if it isn't something they've picked up on a scan, I don't think you have too much to worry about

You won’t pick much up on a scan that would cause symptoms like that. Sounds like dyspareunia or vaginismus? I think it definitely needs discussing with your midwife and if they don’t take it seriously, your GP. They may not want to do a speculum in pregnancy but if you struggle with tampons they may need to consider how that might affect internal examinations in labour. The blood supply to your pelvis/genitalia increases by 30+% in pregnancy and the tissues get more stretchy and pliable so this won’t necessarily cause you any problems, but I think if you’re mentally worried about it that could make you tenser and exams more uncomfortable. Definitely worth mentioning! But you shouldn’t be too small for a baby, vaginas are very stretchy!!!!

 

[nillal]

Don’t be scared!! What is it that’s worrying you? Is this your first baby? It’s absolutely normal to feel nervous though, it’s such a big thing is about to happen to your body, and your life!

Right now the birth, I’m having panic attacks over it. I Don’t have a lot of support and I don’t feel ready. I’m under perinatal mental health care but don’t feel it’s been helping much.