Pregnancy

[moimoi]

So sorry you got that reaction!
When I first told my Mum when I had my first (I was 26) she told me to keep it quiet because she didn't want my step Dad finding out until he was in a good mood because he'd be annoyed.

Both me and my partner were both working full time, have our own home ect.
The reaction to my second was "How are you going to afford that?!"
And the reaction to this one was "When are you stopping?"

So I totally feel for you!

Thank you. I’m in a similar position, 31 and been with my partner for 8 years, both very good jobs, so not exactly shocking to get pregnant! It’s good (as crappy as it is) to know I’m not the only one who got an underwhelming response from our own bloody mothers.

Sending loads of love, what a horrible way for anyone to react, let alone your mum. I’m sure you are absolutely gutted. What on earth does she mean by “better than that?” Doesn’t make any sense at all.

Try and concentrate on you and your own little family. If she can’t be supportive of you during the time you need it most, she doesn’t deserve you x

Thank you, you’re completely right. I think she thinks I’ve ruined my life by the ‘better than that’ comment. I’m just glad I predicted that reaction, she’s a very negative person. It would have stung a lot harder if I was expecting a happy reaction, but it’s still upsetting. I wish I kept it quiet longer! My stepdad at least congratulated me and says he’s excited to become a grandad.

 

[Definitelyme]

First trimester is technically the shortest (if you find out at 4 weeks and it ends at 13 then that’s “only” 9 weeks) but feels like 47yrs.

 

[MrsJones83]

Woke up this morning and I just don’t feel pregnant at all, and I don’t mean so much the morning sickness etc...I just don’t! I mean I’m so grateful that my heads not down the toilet all the time and that Iv gone off food but I don’t know, it’s making me so panicked.
My friend who’s pregnant and the same 11 weeks as me, has bought a Christmas jumper with Xmas pudding on and bought her partner a card from bump for Christmas- but I haven’t even had the thought to do any of that! I’m just so worried I’m not pregnant anymore and it’s not real. I’m sure I will get to my 12 week scan next week they will say Iv wasted their time. After reading about Missed miscarriages I’m just so paranoid it will happen to me.
Has anyone else felt this way? Is there something wrong with me that I don’t feel excited at the minute? But worried? Xx

I find the early stages really hard, I didn’t have any symptoms like sickness etc, you can’t feel anything yet, hardly a bump, so I think what you’re feeling is really normal. Hang in there! Once you’ve had your scan and seen baby I’m sure it will feel more real xx

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Hi everyone, thanks for kind messages. Just got home after being at hospital all evening. Had blood tests and internal examination as they were concerned about ectopic pregnancy. Doctor happy with my examination for me to go home. Should get a phone call in the morning with blood test results. If HCG levels over 1000 then I’ll have a scan tomorrow. If under 1000 I’ll have another blood test on Thursday to check they have progressed in 48 hours as they would expect them to. I’m taking tomorrow off work to rest and wait for results.

Oh, they discovered the spotting is being caused by something (can’t remember name) which doctor not concerned about. It’s where there are cells that should be inside the cervix that have moved to outside the cervix, he could see them clearly during my examination. He said that these cells are much more sensitive and more prone to bleeding but nothing to be concerned about. He said it’s like I’ll get spotting caused by them every now and then and I shouldn’t be concerned unless bleeding gets worse.

So feeling like things are looking ok, just waiting for results tomorrow to see where we go from here.

Been refreshing this page all night hoping it was good news!

That's great that Dr let you home, fingers crossed your blood results are okay.
Good you have an answer to the spotting and it's not something to be overly worried about. Take care of yourself tonight x

 

[LittleMy]

For any mums hoping to breastfeed for the first time, I would say arm yourself with lots of information. I’ve breastfed 3 kids for 2+ years each and I will still read up this time to remind me. Things to look out for especially are:

•Good latching position for newborn and what to do if it’s not good
•Normal baby behaviour for a breastfed baby (eg feeding frequently and for long periods)
•Where to go for help (breastfeeding group, lactation consultant)
•And please remember not many midwives are up to date on breastfeeding and don’t have the specialist training needed to help if you have major problems, sadly. It’s one of the reasons the UKs bf rate is so poor.

And for all FTM I would suggest reading up about the fourth trimester, again a bit about normal baby behaviour. So often babies are expected to feed them sleep and be put dow alone when the reality is that’s totally alien to them and many won’t want to!

I agree about the fourth trimester. It was a bit of a shock to the system for me when I had my firstborn. I had an emergency cesarean and then spent a week in hospital afterwards with a newborn expected to do everything by myself. The hormone crash around day 3 made me bawl my eyes out, I was so low and missing the support of my OH. Definitely don’t have too many expectations for how the birth will be - birth plans are a good guide to let your choices be known but be open to anything happening on the day(s).

 

[littlepup]

I'm 19 weeks and don't feel excited, just very anxious and nervous and wanting the 21 week scan to arrive asap to make sure everything is ok even though everything was fine at the 13 week scan. I haven't bought any baby stuff yet.

And I know everyone carries differently, but I feel like I'm pretty small. I'm an average size 12 but my 'bump' just looks like I've had a massive kebab and chips when I raise my top. It's not rounded or anything and you wouldn't be able to tell if you saw me in the street. I suffer a lot from body dysmorphia so quite happy I'm not really showing, but also a little concerned that I probably should be bigger? Doesn't help that the 16-18 week appointments were cancelled so haven't been measured at all.

The earliest they would usually measure you would be the 25 week appointment with the NHS so please don't feel you're missing out on care you would usually get.
A girl I know found out she was pregnant same week as me, only she was 5 1/2 mths and only went to the doctor because she could feel movements and thought something was terribly wrong with her. She was about a size 14 but wasn't showing at all. (still smoking, drinking, farming and lifting at work etc) She's now got a healthy, chunky little boy.

I don't blame you for not having bought anything, a lot of people don't. Again I think things like Instagram give the wrong impression of the average person with influencers setting up full nurseries by 30 weeks and showing off different outfits for every day before they're even here etc.
You don't need even a quarter of the shite they have either.

 

[Definitelyme]

One time she’d accidentally printed 4, but because I’d only paid for 2 she wouldn’t let me have the others, even though they were just going in the bin!

Cannot believe that! What a jobsworth!

 

[Astonishing]

I feel sooooo ill constantly!
this pregnancy is so different to my last ones!
I’m tired, grouchy, sick so so sick.

This one was another little accident/blessing
But I feel so different aswell!
I’m hoping to avoid a section this time though as it will 100% be my last (even though I said that last time)

 

[MrsJones83]

I am hoping so! Eldest will be 8 when this baby arrives, my son will be 5.5 and my current youngest will be 2.5. What about yours? I love the reaction I’ve been getting this time when people ask if it’s my first and then I say “no my fourth” they all go !! Really amuses me for some reason! I look quite young for my age (34) and lots of people always tell me I don’t look old enough to have any kids!

I’m 35 - mine will be 5, 3 and 2 when this one arrives. The amount of people who have asked if it was planned though

 

[elloelloello]

YaaY what was it like? I really want to book my own private scan but just really nervous! Really happy for you thanks for letting us all know xxxx

It was fine, I had it through the NHS and it was an internal. Very nerve wracking and I had to go by myself but just a huge relief it’s not ectopic.
Try not to be nervous, and if you want an early scan then go for it! Xxx

 

[moimoi]

I've got my 20/21 week scan tomorrow, will see if my maternal instinct that it's a girl is right or not! I've definitely been feeling lots of little kicks lately too!

My vomiting and nausea has come back, been stuck in bed all day. Though could also be down to the amount of Celebrations I've scoffed over the past few days.

 

[Greys1324]

So pleased to have found this thread!
I’m 16 weeks with my first, I’ve been so uncomfortable this week feeling a lot of stretching in my stomach and hip pain. We’ve booked a private gender scan for 27th Dec as my partner can’t attend my 20 week scan. Can’t wait to find out as I think it’ll all seem a bit more real then as at the moment I still have days when I question if it’s really happening!

 

[Definitelyme]

Hi I’m 38+2. Due on Christmas Day! So scared lol

Don’t be scared!! What is it that’s worrying you? Is this your first baby? It’s absolutely normal to feel nervous though, it’s such a big thing is about to happen to your body, and your life!

 

[Chopsuey]

Hi ladies, I’m new to Tattle but loving it so far. Didn’t realise there was pregnancy section so thought I’d join in.
I’m 21 weeks today and utter miserable. I had bad sickness from 5 - 15 weeks. Had two weeks from 15-17 weeks of pure respite, felt great and then since 17-18 I’ve felt like utter shit, worst pain in my ribs at my right side on my back and my front. Mood has dipped and just feel sad all the time.
I swear I will be doing this once and once only! kudos to those of you on your second + !

 

[MrsJones83]

Hi I’m 38+2. Due on Christmas Day! So scared lol

Don’t be scared, you can do it!

 

[moimoi]

I'm going to give breastfeeding a go even though it makes me feel very nervous and anxious after reading stories about it, but I'm FULLY content that if it doesn't work out for the baby or I guess 'selfishly' for me, then I'm fine to admit 'defeat' and not feel guilty about formula! There's definitely way too much pressure re: breastfeeding and as people have said as long as the baby is fed!

 

[Stimpii]

Well I just went for a scan, saw a heartbeat but they said its measuring as 6 weeks not 7 and also apparently its lower down in the uterus than they expect
I'm not really sure what that means so am now feeling a bit flat. They have advised I have another scan in a weeks time

I had a scan at 7 weeks with my 2nd, I was moved back to 6 weeks, Then at my 12 week scan was moved forward a week again. They’re so small at this stage and a heartbeat is a positive sign. Not sure what baby being lower down means but try and stay positive

 

[BettyCrocker]

I am planning to breastfeed but as this is my first baby I obviously have no idea how I will find it. One thing I don't like is the mental gymnastics to make bottle feeding on par with breast milk. Ultimately not everyone can breastfeed for various reasons and bottle feeding is a totally fine method to feed your baby, but in an attempt to not shame bottle feeding mums there seems to be a new huge resistance to accepting that breast milk is better nutritionally. It just seems anti science to me.
If I can't stick with breastfeeding I will happily feed with formula but I can acknowledge the benefits of one without rubbishing the other.

It is interesting I've seem lots of comments where people complain about how breastfeeding is too heavily pushed these days. I'm 30 and when I was born in NI the hospital put babies right on formula. I have loads of younger cousins and not one of them were breastfeed because the hospital pushed formula instantly. I think advocating for breast is better than those days at least.

The problem is there’s not a choice - certainly in my experience the expectation is that you will want to breastfeed, that you will breastfeed and that no matter how hard it is or how damaging the experience you WILL breastfeed. I saw women crying and having a horrendous time in hospital because breastfeeding just wasn’t happening for them and the nurses/midwifes were offering no support - one man asked to make up a bottle of formula and the nurse said “oh no, we don’t have facilities for that, she’s just going to have to persevere with breast feeding” - I think that’s bloody awful.

 

[Gem2212]

18 weeks pregnant with 1st baby , don’t even know where to start with moans

 

[littlepup]

Almost 32 weeks with my first here. I came across these Videos on YouTube today, 1/2 way through the second but I’ve found them helpful so far. I’m the kind of person that likes to understand the mechanics of things and this lady explains things well it seems. She actually explains that some labours can be so quick due to the shape of the pelvis.

As I say, my first so I’m no expert but I’ve read many times a portable bidet, or pretty much a squeezey bottle with a spout on it is amazing for post birth wees so you can spray the water over your bits while you wee to dilute it and use cool or warm water for relief when needed.

I had no idea about the extended bleeding after, all the crap that’s got to come out. I guess I had in mind that the placenta was attached inside in a similar way to the umbilical cord to the baby but no, apparently it leaves a dinner plate size open wound in your uterus hence such a long bleed time!!? I feel so dense about so much, even general biology, but you just don’t find out until you have reason to I guess.

The weirdest symptoms I have are nose bleeds and really dry, cracked feet which I’ve never had before. All common when you google it but no one tells you these things. The PGP, rib flare, bleeding gums, lightening crotch, swollen bits. I’m sure there’s some kind of conspiracy not to let on about these things so as not to put people off not to mention my boobs being unrecognisable already