Pregnancy

[Katielle13]

Husband went shopping today and came back with a small jar. I was fuming inside I haven't had the urge to drink the liquid though do you know the gender of bump?

My partner also went for them and came back with a big jar but it was really small pickled onions, still good though I’m having a girl, due 3 weeks tomorrow!

 

[WhatABore]

Thought this was an interesting comparison for people in the early stages
6-12 weeks scale sizes

 

[MrsJones83]

Also check your hospital’s Facebook page, as mine has a dedicated maternity page and they’re doing weekly Facebook lives for feeding questions, ask the midwife, hospital tours, and giving all the latest Covid related maternity info.

Other useful fb pages:
Pregnant then screwed
Maternity Voices Partnership
Positive Birth Movement

 

[Octopies]

Could you have a tilted uterus? I always find sex painful and usually bleed too and apparently that's the cause!

I had a private scan at 10 weeks and they told me I had a tilted uterus, yes! I had no idea what it meant to be honest, I did have a quick Google. Didn’t realise it could be the cause of my problems :O

Might have just had a lightbulb moment - thanks!!!

 

[Definitelyme]

I am so shocked to hear about the crap hands off care people are getting.

Apart from my 12 week appointment when my history was taken over the phone rather than face to face (and scan etc all done as normal), everything where I am has been totally normal. TBF I’ve only managed to remember to make 1 midwife appointment but again it was normal, as were my 3 hospital appointments.

How are they expecting mums and babies to stay healthy and calm if they aren’t being treated properly?

 

[HoneyBee29]

Thinking about giving birth to a big baby is terrifying to me fair play to anyone that’s done it. I’m hoping mine is no bigger than 7lb honestly

 

[LittleMy]

I’m 10 weeks- First ever pregnancy-completely clueless! I’m 37 and have a slight heart problem
Iv seen the midwife but I was in such a state of shock that half of the things she said feels like a blur.
She gave me a password to access my pregnancy notes but I have no idea how to access them. She left 3 phone numbers but I can’t ring them until I’m 16 weeks!
I’m having my scan on the 23rd which is causing me anxiety as it’s so close to Christmas and I’m already prepared for the worst.
I’m extra anxious because Iv had to come off some tablets for my heart (my gp advised this) but Iv been feeling awful without them- high pulse, palpitations, out of breath, high blood pressure.And I’m still waiting to be referred to my cardiologist. The midwife said to expect a letter that week- but it’s been 3 weeks now.
I have no idea about what happens during the birth- ie- who is around you. I always naively assumed It was the midwife that was assigned to you but after reading a little about pregnancy that doesn’t seem the case. I’m totally blind in this!
The midwife was lovely but she said she’s leaving in March after 45 years and that upsets me because I feel il have to bond with someone else which is already making me panic.
I had a letter to see the obstetrician in January but I have no idea what that is for! And my mum keeps offering to pay private to see one of my choice but I have no clue on how to go about this. Has anyone any knowledge of this?
I’m so so clueless and really I have no idea how any of this goes. After watching the news about the maternity services yday I was in a sort of daze, just feeling really scared and anxious about the whole pregnancy and i just feel so overwhelmed: there seems to be so much to the whole process.
I feel stupid admitting how absolutely clueless I am on all of this but I guess if I speak up then maybe other people will admit they felt this way and I would feel less of an idiot.
But I feel really scared and alone in it all because there doesn’t seem to be any sort of contact with anyone until I’m 16 weeks and I suppose it feels a long and lonely road when you don’t know what to expect.
Sorry for offloading- I really am so happy I’m pregnant but I never ever thought I’d feel so scared about it.

Thanks for starting this thread xx

I think everyone feels that way the first time. I was shocked at the initial gaps between antenatal appointments. Once you enter the later stages, you tend to be in a lot more regularly for checks. For me, it didn’t even feel real until the 20 week scan, and a couple of weeks after when I could feel the baby moving. The second time around, everything seemed to happen much quicker, and my bump seemed to appear overnight once I took the test.

Just think though, you’re experiencing pregnancy during a pandemic, outwith ordinary circumstances. You’re bound to be extra anxious. I can’t advise on the medical notes side as mine were always a physical booklet and not electronic. Is the obstetrician appointment perhaps in relation to your heart condition? It may mean that you’re considered high risk (don’t worry, I was considered high risk second time around and saw an obstetrician as well as midwife) and they may just want to keep a closer eye on you in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters. I’m sure you’ll be just fine. I hope all goes well and you enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

 

[Tui]

I hate ‘breast is best’. No. Fed is best. My friend felt so much pressure to breast feed that her son started to lose weight. The moment he was put on formula he gained weight like anything. I’m a firm believer in doing what is right for you and your baby because in 18 years, no child is going to give a damn about how they were fed as an infant.

Formula fed babies do that anyway though as the baby doesn't moderate their intake in the same way a breastfed baby does. There are lots of breastfeeding solutions to breastfeeding problems that may or may not involve formula. I have a close friend who had a very traumatic delivery with her first, jaundiced sleepy baby, midwives telling her it was just a “nice tan like his dad” (baby and dad are Caucasian and my friends a doctor and knows what jaundice looks like). She chose to use formula in the end after trying valiantly to bf with no support while shell shocked from the delivery. I can tell she felt so awfully guilty over it and I felt so bad for her that she didn’t get the support she needed. If it’s a pure choice then that’s totally fine as no woman should be forced to breastfeed if she doesn’t want to, but I think a lot more could be done to support and educate women who start off wanting to breastfeed and then get made to feel like a failure when they are the ones who have been failed.

I don’t want to divert the thread into a breastfeeding v formula debate though as I know it is an emotive subject ! I’m still figuring this stuff out, FTM and all that.

Has anyone else starting planning nursery decoration? We have just bought a house (long-standing magnolia-walled flat dwellers) so loving the idea of completely decorating a room (which won’t be used for 6 months ). We’ve chosen Dulux Mint Macaroon paint and I’ve decided it’s going to be an ocean/under the sea theme, primarily as I bought the most beautiful changing mat covered in octopuses, coral and fish patterns

 

[moimoi]

Just catching up on all of this today, so interesting to hear everyone's experiences so far. I'm based in London and just had the one scan at 13 weeks and 16-18 week midwife appointment cancelled cause of covid and no phone appointment. Next appointment is my 20 week scan.

During my first scan, it took her around 50 minutes because the baby was flipping around all over the place and she couldn't get the measurements. But I found the sonographer quite cold, I felt awkward asking anything because she was in her words "too busy concentrating". She didn't even tell me my due date until I asked at the very end. She let me have a wee midway through my scan because it was taking so long, I came back with the sample, I didn't know what to do with it and asked her if she took it, and the disgust on her face "no, no, no!" It's my first, I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

Plus I didn't get a photograph, which I was disappointed about. I had to take a picture using my phone of the screen. Are other people having to do that? Is that a thing now? Or is my hospital stingy?

 

[Octopies]

What are your thoughts on finding out the sex? My husband always said he didn't want to know until we had a positive test and then he was like "I need to know NOW"

I'm not fussed about boy or girl, and we won't have overly gendered baby stuff but to me it will be a really big thing for bonding. It makes the whole arrival of the baby less abstract and we can start calling it he or she and then using their name before birth.

I did the sneak peek test on Saturday and apparently will find out this weekend or next Monday!

I found out the sex because this was an unplanned pregnancy and although I’ve been with my partner a very long time we never expressed a desire for kids.

But when I found out I was pregnant we knew we wanted the baby but it didn’t make it any easier to get my head around the idea. It didn’t help that I was two months when I found out I was pregnant so it felt like everything was happening so quickly.

I wanted to find out the gender as I thought it would help me to get used to the idea / bond with the baby. And it 100% has. When I found out we are having a girl I was absolutely beaming all the way home, I kept crying with happiness, it just felt so right. (I had no preference either way re sex!)

It definitely helped me feel closer to the alien growing inside me - my daughter!!!

 

[jazyblu]

I am planning to breastfeed but as this is my first baby I obviously have no idea how I will find it. One thing I don't like is the mental gymnastics to make bottle feeding on par with breast milk. Ultimately not everyone can breastfeed for various reasons and bottle feeding is a totally fine method to feed your baby, but in an attempt to not shame bottle feeding mums there seems to be a new huge resistance to accepting that breast milk is better nutritionally. It just seems anti science to me.
If I can't stick with breastfeeding I will happily feed with formula but I can acknowledge the benefits of one without rubbishing the other.

It is interesting I've seem lots of comments where people complain about how breastfeeding is too heavily pushed these days. I'm 30 and when I was born in NI the hospital put babies right on formula. I have loads of younger cousins and not one of them were breastfeed because the hospital pushed formula instantly. I think advocating for breast is better than those days at least.

 

[Kitt]

Lying awake absolutely terrified. Woke up about 40 mins ago and started getting pain very low in abdomen. At first it was leading to passing wind and I was like ok intense trapped wind. Then the pain got worse and worse. I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything like it. Stopped passing wind and just started to feel sick. I got really hot and queasy. Went to the toilet and was sick a bit. Pain eased. I went for a wee and wiped, no blood but bit of colour in discharge. Lying in bed now and pain starting to come back. I’m 5 weeks and 2 days so I’m so frightened I’m losing it I’m so scared.

 

[CrimeJunkie]

Anyone got any tips on getting through the first trimester without too much anxiety?

I don’t know if that’s possible (bloody wish it was!) but definitely try and avoid googling every single symptom/worry and stick to the NHS website if you need advice!

I think it’s because you literally have no idea what’s going on in there and unless we could have weekly scans there will always be worry and anxiety unfortunately.

 

[allforthegram]

Morning everyone! I’ve been lurking this thread since I first saw it!
currently 36 weeks... I am so uncomfortable at night constantly up and down peeing and changing sides... my hips and lower back are so uncomfortable especially. I have a gigantic support pillow That isn’t cutting it anymore..
Any tips or is it just because baby is that size now?! First one so I am clueless

 

[Definitelyme]

I agree! I have about 20 girls names that I love and only one boys name, and my partner doesn’t like it.. but it’s fine I have 8 months of graft just in case I have a boy

maybe you can do what I managed with our only son (so far, I’m convinced this one is a boy). I told my husband the name I liked. He said no. Then a month later he comes to me saying "what about this name?"....he truly believes to this day he thought it up himself. Plant a small seed and let him claim it as his own

 

[Definitelyme]

My OH has been allowed to my scans, but not my midwife or consultant appointments.



I think once Christmas has passed the weeks will fly by! What are your age gaps?

I am hoping so! Eldest will be 8 when this baby arrives, my son will be 5.5 and my current youngest will be 2.5. What about yours? I love the reaction I’ve been getting this time when people ask if it’s my first and then I say “no my fourth” they all go !! Really amuses me for some reason! I look quite young for my age (34) and lots of people always tell me I don’t look old enough to have any kids!

 

[MrsJones83]

Hi I’m 8 weeks and have been thinking of getting a private scan just before Christmas as were both off and thought it would be special. We’re also not allowed partners into the 12 week scan and can’t imagine not having hubby there. Do you think it was worth it? I will be just over 9 weeks. We feel it would be special to tell close family over Christmas if everything seems fine. Do people think that silly? I’m really in two minds and would love any advice X

I would personally wait until between 12-16 weeks, baby is soooo small at 9 weeks that there wouldn’t really be a lot to see, after 12 weeks it’s a lot clearer and more baby like! I had a dating scan at 9 weeks because I wasn’t sure on my dates, it was just a blob on the screen, so I didn’t bother with a picture. It was reassuring to see it and know there was a heartbeat though.

 

[WhatABore]

Oh I hate that when people tell you how bad it is when you become a mum- how you will never sleep again, and never do this and never do that! It’s not that I’m not realistic but it’s not really helpful is it? I find it all abit negative.

Thinking of you and hope all goes ok. Lots of love xx

I hated all the comments when I was pregnant with my first. People ask how you are and you say tired. And their response was "Just wait until you've had the baby, then you'll know what tired is"
I hate all the comments

 

[Kitt]

Had a GP call today and they said to call back when I’m 7 weeks and they’ll refer me to a midwife. Midwife appointment won’t be until 10 weeks. Bit disappointed. Glad we have the private early scan booked for 7 weeks so we can at least see if everything’s ok.

 

[MrsJones83]

21 weeks pregnant with 4th baby, struggling with PGP, my c-sec is 18 weeks tomorrow!