Pregnancy #55

Hashtagnotspon · Mar 4, 2024

Laughalong said:
Has anyone read any parenting books / pregnancy books? I’ve just bought this one - and finding it extremely insightful. I don’t have a good relationship with my mum, she’s a dick. My upbringing was bad and probably has left me traumatised and wanting to make sure I don’t project any of this onto my child - so an extremely good read. I’d probably even recommend it even if your childhood on the whole was decent, as it’s still thought provoking. It’s not a “traditional” parenting book full of cliches etc

Amazon product

For some reason the book you've posted doesn't show for me. But I've been "reading ahead" and reading some gentle parenting books because the example of parenting I got from my parents was the worst (I'm no contact with them). Also been in counselling just because I want to work on me so I can be the best parent I can. Feel like I'm acutely aware of what the results of bad parenting look like so want to do as much as I can to limit it.

My OH had a pretty idyllic upbringing compared to me but definitely feel like everyone could benefit from being a bit introspective. Parenting is hard so being aware of what your issues may be in advance is great for everyone I think.

Laughalong · Mar 4, 2024

Hashtagnotspon said:
For some reason the book you've posted doesn't show for me. But I've been "reading ahead" and reading some gentle parenting books because the example of parenting I got from my parents was the worst (I'm no contact with them). Also been in counselling just because I want to work on me so I can be the best parent I can. Feel like I'm acutely aware of what the results of bad parenting look like so want to do as much as I can to limit it.

My OH had a pretty idyllic upbringing compared to me but definitely feel like everyone could benefit from being a bit introspective. Parenting is hard so being aware of what your issues may be in advance is great for everyone I think.

It’s called The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (And Your Children Will Be Glad You Did).

Basically about making sure your upbringing and experiences doesn’t affect your childs. Even small things that didn’t go your way as a child, such as not getting loads of presents. How to not end up feeling any resentment/jealousy to your child if/when they do (ironic, because it’ll be you that will have a load of bought them… but it can still get you feeling a type of way if you never had that) but also the deeper stuff such as lacking the love/attention/affection from your parents and how to not be like that. That’s why I even think people with “good” upbringings could still benefit from the book, as it’s not all doom and gloom examples being used

Lucyxxxx · Mar 4, 2024

I'm sooooo tired. Fellas at work but I could just do with a good long nap rn.

cat_follower · Mar 4, 2024

Just paid my pram off today and the women in the shop actually gasped when they saw how big I am

I’m a short arse and don’t have much of a torso so I’m basically all baby- I’m only 36 weeks, I don’t know how much bigger I can get!

PurplePie · Mar 4, 2024

Laughalong said:
Has anyone read any parenting books / pregnancy books? I’ve just bought this one - and finding it extremely insightful. I don’t have a good relationship with my mum, she’s a dick. My upbringing was bad and probably has left me traumatised and wanting to make sure I don’t project any of this onto my child - so an extremely good read. I’d probably even recommend it even if your childhood on the whole was decent, as it’s still thought provoking. It’s not a “traditional” parenting book full of cliches etc

Amazon product

Hi, the link isn't working for me. What's the name of the book? Had a similar experience growing up so interested in reading.

Laughalong · Mar 4, 2024

PurplePie said:
Hi, the link isn't working for me. What's the name of the book? Had a similar experience growing up so interested in reading.

It’s called The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (And Your Children Will Be Glad You Did) by Philippa Perry 🤍

Jellycat369 · Mar 4, 2024

Laughalong said:
Has anyone read any parenting books / pregnancy books? I’ve just bought this one - and finding it extremely insightful. I don’t have a good relationship with my mum, she’s a dick. My upbringing was bad and probably has left me traumatised and wanting to make sure I don’t project any of this onto my child - so an extremely good read. I’d probably even recommend it even if your childhood on the whole was decent, as it’s still thought provoking. It’s not a “traditional” parenting book full of cliches etc

Amazon product

I've not got any book recommendations but one of the things I realised after having my first was just how awful some of the things my mum did and said were. It was so upsetting and made me realise that I didn't want the same for my wee one.

littlepup · Mar 4, 2024

I’ve not bought it but I’m interested in Dr Martha Collado’s new book, think it’s it today so will wait a bit for some reviews.
I’d recommend following her instagram if you’re keen on a gentle but realistic parenting approach.

Hashtagnotspon · Mar 4, 2024

Laughalong said:
It’s called The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (And Your Children Will Be Glad You Did).

Basically about making sure your upbringing and experiences doesn’t affect your childs. Even small things that didn’t go your way as a child, such as not getting loads of presents. How to not end up feeling any resentment/jealousy to your child if/when they do (ironic, because it’ll be you that will have a load of bought them… but it can still get you feeling a type of way if you never had that) but also the deeper stuff such as lacking the love/attention/affection from your parents and how to not be like that. That’s why I even think people with “good” upbringings could still benefit from the book, as it’s not all doom and gloom examples being used

Yes I've read this book! It made me feel like not repeating the past is possible. Also showed me that so many things can be a trigger, you just need to be on the look out and question why you feel the way you do.

jolly_parsley · Mar 4, 2024

I’ve started reading Sarah Ockwell-Smith’s How to be a Calm Parent which is good, but some of it feels like a heavy therapy session so best to break it up with a light read!

For pregnancy related books I’ve found both books by the Modern Midwife, Marie Louise, really helpful and loved Milli Hill’s Positive Birth book. Her Give Birth Like a Feminist book was informative but also made me even more terrified of giving birth so would probably recommend giving that a miss if you’re squeamish and anxious like me.

KindnessWins · Mar 4, 2024

Laughalong said:
It’s called The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (And Your Children Will Be Glad You Did) by Philippa Perry 🤍

Love this book. Even if you had a stable childhood, it’s worth a read.

eppingforestbambi · Mar 4, 2024

Jellycat369 said:
I've not got any book recommendations but one of the things I realised after having my first was just how awful some of the things my mum did and said were. It was so upsetting and made me realise that I didn't want the same for my wee one.

Oh god tell me about it! Constant comments about weight and dieting and how thin so and so is. I will NEVER do that to my children.

Laughalong · Mar 4, 2024

What is the lowest result you can actually get for the Patau/Downs results does anyone know? Just got mine back at 1:5000. Some post on mumsnet says last year they moved to a system where that is now the lowest result you can actually get but who knows how reliable that is. Either way I feel quite happy and reassured.

Bumblebee2019 · Mar 4, 2024

Laughalong said:
What is the lowest result you can actually get for the Patau/Downs results does anyone know? Just got mine back at 1:5000. Some post on mumsnet says last year they moved to a system where that is now the lowest result you can actually get but who knows how reliable that is. Either way I feel quite happy and reassured.

Mine was the same and I was expecting a much larger number like people used to get. My midwife said that 1 in 5000 is the lowest statistic they use know so it’s definitely good news!

Lucyxxxx · Mar 4, 2024

Thats mad cause with my eldest I got a 1 in 100,000 chance of DS but that was 10 yrs ago.

Laughalong · Mar 5, 2024

This is just me being super irrational now with my overthinking fears. Holidaying during pregnancy. This scares me. Can’t really change it now as I booked before I found out, I’ll be 21 weeks when I’m away. What if I needed to go to hospital or something was wrong? I do already have medical insurance for the trip, just makes me a bit scared I supposed. It’s Portugal so it’s not like I’m going to the ghetto with underdeveloped hospitals but ahhhhhh.

cwymmie · Mar 5, 2024

Laughalong said:
This is just me being super irrational now with my overthinking fears. Holidaying during pregnancy. This scares me. Can’t really change it now as I booked before I found out, I’ll be 21 weeks when I’m away. What if I needed to go to hospital or something was wrong? I do already have medical insurance for the trip, just makes me a bit scared I supposed. It’s Portugal so it’s not like I’m going to the ghetto with underdeveloped hospitals but ahhhhhh.

Try and just go and enjoy yourself. The second trimester is definitely the time to go, it’s by far the easiest going trimester, I sometimes forget I’m even pregnant when in that stage

Like you say, you have insurance should anything happen but try to just relax and go with it!
It’s the perfect opportunity to enjoy time without baby tagging along, no holiday will be the same for a good few years!

Seeemm · Mar 5, 2024

Have my booking appointment this afternoon. Still doesn’t feel real that I’m pregnant 🥹

I’m a size 18 with a belly so I don’t think it will until I have a proper bump or feel the baby kicking.

eppingforestbambi · Mar 5, 2024

Seeemm said:
Have my booking appointment this afternoon. Still doesn’t feel real that I’m pregnant 🥹

I’m a size 18 with a belly so I don’t think it will until I have a proper bump or feel the baby kicking.

Exciting!!! Congratulations
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Laughalong said:
This is just me being super irrational now with my overthinking fears. Holidaying during pregnancy. This scares me. Can’t really change it now as I booked before I found out, I’ll be 21 weeks when I’m away. What if I needed to go to hospital or something was wrong? I do already have medical insurance for the trip, just makes me a bit scared I supposed. It’s Portugal so it’s not like I’m going to the ghetto with underdeveloped hospitals but ahhhhhh.

With my last baby I travelled at that stage (I had to work from LA and San Francisco for a month, and then my husband came out to join me for a mini baby moon) - and it was fine. Portugal will be even better as it’s a short flight.

Honestly 21 weeks is great - you’ll have more energy than now, but you won’t yet be at that massive stage where everything is difficult. Sounds like a great time to get away and get some sunshine. Just do your pre-research on local hospitals and where to go if you need help.

I would argue that Portuguese hospitals are probably operating much more efficiently than UK hospitals right now…..

Bumblebee2019 · Mar 5, 2024

Laughalong said:
This is just me being super irrational now with my overthinking fears. Holidaying during pregnancy. This scares me. Can’t really change it now as I booked before I found out, I’ll be 21 weeks when I’m away. What if I needed to go to hospital or something was wrong? I do already have medical insurance for the trip, just makes me a bit scared I supposed. It’s Portugal so it’s not like I’m going to the ghetto with underdeveloped hospitals but ahhhhhh.

I’m currently 21 weeks and would love a trip to Portugal right now

(she says while sat in her office stuffing her face with chocolate). This is definitely the best I’ve felt all pregnancy so far! As others have said with insurance the hospital systems are pretty good and it’ll be so nice to get some sunshine!