Pregnancy #53

[jolly_parsley]

Husbands pissed off at her for even suggesting it. He says if she messages about it again closer to the time, he'll be telling her where to go, he's not like a lot of sons that wouldn't dare say boo to their mums, hell shout at her if needs be, he had to when I first had my son and she had me crying 2 days postpartum

Ugh she sounds absolutely awful! It’s good he’s on your side and isn’t afraid to stand up to her. Ignore her for now and definitely let him handle it if she starts kicking off again

 

[littlepup]

So my husband both live around 140 miles south from both our families, our parents live within a 30 minutes drive from one another.
We have one child already, and I'm due our second 4 days after his birthday, my birthday is also in-between.
I messaged said mother in law letting her know in advance we will be having our sons birthday party down south, because it makes no sense to travel 140 miles when very heavily pregnant. Not to mention the risk of going into labour Not near my hospital, midwives etc.
My mother in law to put it as bluntly as possible is very tight with money. She doesn't need to be at all. She pleades poverty all the time, whilst she's on a 50k a year, has no kids living at home, and a husband on 30k a year, tiny mortgage etc. She always makes it a money issue when coming to see us (we have a spare room they are always welcome to sleep in btw).
Anyway after messaging her about my sons birthday, she messaged back the most ridiculous that my husband and I should take 2 weeks off work and have the party and the baby where the family are all from.

Now I'm not daft, the real reason she's suggesting this is because she doesn't want to spend the money coming down, and because one of our spare rooms will now be a nursery, she would have to get a hotel if she wanted to stay over, but I can't believe she would suggest something so stupid.
To begin with my husband only gets 2 weeks paternity so we would have to live predict I was going into labour, because that's possible
I'd be away from the hospital I'm familiar with, my community midwives, my health visitors.
Not to mention transporting a toddler, everything we need for him, his birthday presents, and everything we need for a newborn, I.e. a bedside crib, bottles etc.
Plus we'd have to travel back after only a few days for a health visitor visit so imagine being in the car for 2.5/3 hours within days of being post partum.
And also after being in hospital, I was in hospital with my first for 2 nights and 3 days, I was so desperate to get home to my own bed and stuff. Why would I want to leave hospital and not be able to go to my own house.
It's just all so selfish to me, like am I wrong? Am I over reacting?

Not overreacting. Though she could just be being thick.
To keep the peace, I’d be like “I’m afraid I’m under the care of my NHS trust and local health services, I can’t just switch. Even if I could, my priority is baby 1 and I’m not prepared to uproot them at the most unsettling time of their life nor pack and trek everything I need for both children, my husband and myself all the way there then need to bring it all back again. Moving 4 people around in unpredictable circumstance is just not a sensible option. I can’t predict when I will go into labour, we would like time to settle as a family of four in the weeks after birth and it’s not advised to expose baby to too many people in the early days, so it’s an untenable plan all round.
Of course you can feel free to use your annual leave to join us both for the party and after baby’s arrival. Should you wish to avoid hotel costs, we will do our best to accommodate you in the Nursery. I know you won’t mind a bit of a squeeze in order the see the children.”

 

[Disneylifeonly]

Not overreacting. Though she could just be being thick.
To keep the peace, I’d be like “I’m afraid I’m under the care of my NHS trust and local health services, I can’t just switch. Even if I could, my priority is baby 1 and I’m not prepared to uproot them at the most unsettling time of their life nor pack and trek everything I need for both children, my husband and myself all the way there then need to bring it all back again. Moving 4 people around in unpredictable circumstance is just not a sensible option. I can’t predict when I will go into labour, we would like time to settle as a family of four in the weeks after birth and it’s not advised to expose baby to too many people in the early days, so it’s an untenable plan all round.
Of course you can feel free to use your annual leave to join us both for the party and after baby’s arrival. Should you wish to avoid hotel costs, we will do our best to accommodate you in the Nursery. I know you won’t mind a bit of a squeeze in order the see the children.”

I hope she is just being a bit momentarily stupid. I'm crossing my fingers that it doesn't get brought up again

 

[Jellycat369]

That’s really frustrating! First baby was in Covid so mostly video calls which at the time I was annoyed about but I think it helped them get through more people as things seem a lot slower this time here too.
I’ve a screen shot what they sent me about setting up my desk at work and the relevant bits of exercises sheets they sent. From what I remember and re-reading the emails they said the pelvic tilt stuff are the best rib ones. Of course this info was what they advised to me but it’s also on generic exercise sheets so I expect it’s safe for all, but obviously use your own judgment if you want to try them x
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Thank you so much
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So my husband both live around 140 miles south from both our families, our parents live within a 30 minutes drive from one another.
We have one child already, and I'm due our second 4 days after his birthday, my birthday is also in-between.
I messaged said mother in law letting her know in advance we will be having our sons birthday party down south, because it makes no sense to travel 140 miles when very heavily pregnant. Not to mention the risk of going into labour Not near my hospital, midwives etc.
My mother in law to put it as bluntly as possible is very tight with money. She doesn't need to be at all. She pleades poverty all the time, whilst she's on a 50k a year, has no kids living at home, and a husband on 30k a year, tiny mortgage etc. She always makes it a money issue when coming to see us (we have a spare room they are always welcome to sleep in btw).
Anyway after messaging her about my sons birthday, she messaged back the most ridiculous that my husband and I should take 2 weeks off work and have the party and the baby where the family are all from.

Now I'm not daft, the real reason she's suggesting this is because she doesn't want to spend the money coming down, and because one of our spare rooms will now be a nursery, she would have to get a hotel if she wanted to stay over, but I can't believe she would suggest something so stupid.
To begin with my husband only gets 2 weeks paternity so we would have to live predict I was going into labour, because that's possible
I'd be away from the hospital I'm familiar with, my community midwives, my health visitors.
Not to mention transporting a toddler, everything we need for him, his birthday presents, and everything we need for a newborn, I.e. a bedside crib, bottles etc.
Plus we'd have to travel back after only a few days for a health visitor visit so imagine being in the car for 2.5/3 hours within days of being post partum.
And also after being in hospital, I was in hospital with my first for 2 nights and 3 days, I was so desperate to get home to my own bed and stuff. Why would I want to leave hospital and not be able to go to my own house.
It's just all so selfish to me, like am I wrong? Am I over reacting?

You're not being selfish or overreacting. I've just done a 900 mile round trip visiting various family before Christmas with my toddler and I'm 30odd weeks pregnant. I do not recommend! I'd be tempted to tell her where to go but, as others have said, probably best that you let your husband deal with her!

 

[watermelon sugar]

I’m at my maternity assessment unit getting an iron infusion! I’m currently hooked up to a drip and my arm feels weird but I’m looking forward to eventually getting a bit more energy when I’ve done a few courses of it. Got to hear babies heartbeat too and heard her moving about lots too! I’m 19+3 and currently in that limbo waiting for the next scan so was nice & reassuring hearing her heartbeat and her move

 

[LavaFlake]

Finally brought a pram! At 32+3 I feel I was starting to cut it fine but I really wanted to make sure I was getting the right one for us as I want it to last til they’re a toddler. Between that an reserving a place at the nursery it’s starting to feel so real 🥹

 

[opintionatedperson]

Finally brought a pram! At 32+3 I feel I was starting to cut it fine but I really wanted to make sure I was getting the right one for us as I want it to last til they’re a toddler. Between that an reserving a place at the nursery it’s starting to feel so real 🥹

How exciting, which one did you go for

 

[wishiniwasskinny]

Our travel system gets delivered today to my mother in laws.
2 weeks to go - eek.
On my final week of work as well, finishing this Friday. Feels strange thinking about finishing for a year!

 

[Elle Woods]

Does anyone have any recommendations for a travel system? My partner and I have been looking but it's all a bit of a mine field to be honest! There's so many different ones I feel a bit lost I'm sure I even saw a FB ad the other day for a pram which you can connect to an app!?!? I was thinking wtf would I need an app for

 

[wishiniwasskinny]

We have the Silvercross Reef in Stone ultimate bundle.
It has large wheels for all terrain as we live in a suburban area but have a dog and like to go to the countryside and walk him a lot. The carrycot is also safe sleep and you can use it for overnights with a stand you can get too.
it’s also aesthetically pleasing

I think you might be talking about the Cybex e-Priam that rocks ? I looked at that but thought why would in need to have an automatic rocker? If the baby needs rocking a lot to settle we can always get a rockit or whatever.

 

[opintionatedperson]

Does anyone have any recommendations for a travel system? My partner and I have been looking but it's all a bit of a mine field to be honest! There's so many different ones I feel a bit lost I'm sure I even saw a FB ad the other day for a pram which you can connect to an app!?!? I was thinking wtf would I need an app for

I feel you need to go into the shops and talk to the sales assistants because travel systems are unique to your needs and what terrains you will be walking on. I went with the uppa baby vista as it was so simple to open and close and j liked the big wheels

 

[LavaFlake]

We got the Egg2 as part of a bundle with carrycot and car seat and other bits and bobs at a discount pram shop. A lot cheaper than what John Lewis want lol. We chose it because I found it very easy to steer, fold up and down, and also thought it looked well made. And also loved the look of it. I want to use this pram til he’s a toddler so wanted to invest in something totally right for us. You can use adaptors to make it into a travel system. It came with with a Joie iSnug car seat which I’m giving to my parents to use for shorter journeys. It’s also compatible with a variety of car seats like Maxi Cosi and Cybex which is what well get for our car as we wanted something a bit sturdier for longer journeys. But because of how good the discount was it was cheaper to buy it with a car seat that we won’t use

Have you gone to a pram shop to try them out?we went to a few and seeing them really helped me make a decision:

 

[Elle Woods]

Thanks guys! I literally don't have any pram shops in close proximity to me, I think the closest is over an hour and a half away so I might have to make a trip out to test some out

 

[amyy]

I'm 23+1 and I feel like baby girl might have hiccups in my tummy today!! Feeling a very regular rythmic movement, different to the swooshing/tapping I've been feeling. Isn't pregnancy amazing!! I'm so in awe of our bodies. Hopefully this positivity continues so I can be strong in labour lol.

 

[LavaFlake]

Thanks guys! I literally don't have any pram shops in close proximity to me, I think the closest is over an hour and a half away so I might have to make a trip out to test some out

Omg that’s crazy! But will definitely be worth it. I was so overwhelmed before seeing them in person. There’s almost too much information on the internet it can be hard to make a decision.

 

[wishiniwasskinny]

I feel you need to go into the shops and talk to the sales assistants because travel systems are unique to your needs and what terrains you will be walking on. I went with the uppa baby vista as it was so simple to open and close and j liked the big wheels

I second this. We visited a Pramworld that luckily were local to and they were so helpful showing us around and have so many brands. Even if you’re a distance from one it would be much better to travel and get good advice.
they even offered us a good deal on the bundle with an upgrade from the Silvercross car seat to the Maxi Cosi 360 pebble. We’ve also bought other products from them including our next to me crib etc.
if you have Instagram it might be helpful to follow a store such as Pramworld on there as they do lots of videos showing you different prams / car seats etc and talking through the features.

 

[fudgebox]

We got the Egg2 as part of a bundle with carrycot and car seat and other bits and bobs at a discount pram shop. A lot cheaper than what John Lewis want lol. We chose it because I found it very easy to steer, fold up and down, and also thought it looked well made. And also loved the look of it. I want to use this pram til he’s a toddler so wanted to invest in something totally right for us. You can use adaptors to make it into a travel system. It came with with a Joie iSnug car seat which I’m giving to my parents to use for shorter journeys. It’s also compatible with a variety of car seats like Maxi Cosi and Cybex which is what well get for our car as we wanted something a bit sturdier for longer journeys. But because of how good the discount was it was cheaper to buy it with a car seat that we won’t use

Have you gone to a pram shop to try them out?we went to a few and seeing them really helped me make a decision:

We’ve got the egg2 aswell and I really love it, although the one thing I wish it did was fold down with the carry cot still attached I find it such a ball ache taking apart even though it takes 2 seconds

 

[LavaFlake]

We’ve got the egg2 aswell and I really love it, although the one thing I wish it did was fold down with the carry cot still attached I find it such a ball ache taking apart even though it takes 2 seconds

This was the one negative for me too! But I thought everything else outweighed it. Hope so anyway

 

[opintionatedperson]

And when your in the shop do close it up and down a few times, walk around with it.. Make sure your both comfortable and you can lift it too

 

[littlepup]

We’ve got the egg2 aswell and I really love it, although the one thing I wish it did was fold down with the carry cot still attached I find it such a ball ache taking apart even though it takes 2 seconds

Yes that’s why I don’t recommend the bugaboo cameleon. You have to take the cot off to fold it down, unless you have a massive boot space (assuming a car is involved) you’re fannying about for ages while baby is in the car putting cot/seat in, folding frame, taking cot out to put frame it etc and if it’s wet it’s a bloody nightmare. It’s awesome being so large for moving around all terrain but we never did take it to the beach or the woods much like we thought (Covid played a part) so for popping to the city where we didn’t need that versatility, it’s a pain in the arse. We swapped to a one hand fold stroller as soon as we could.
I thank the stars everyday I got it second hand and didn’t spend the grand on it in John Lewis.
If I do get another it’ll be cybex second hand or Joie new I think. People seem to love the Icandys too.
That said, we’re rural, can’t really leave the house without a car so if you are based where you’re putting it up and down all the time, mostly pavements so don’t need big wheels etc your needs will be different.