Pregnancy #50

[LilyRose1234]

I'm tempted to just do the initial check so she can see we're not nutters and then decline in the future. I hate having anyone in my house, let alone a random woman

Are they definitely in your house? Our prenatal visit is at their clinic, and I think with my 1st they came to our house 2 weeks after I gave birth (midwives came a couple of times before then) and then every other visit was at their clinic - so basically they were only at our house once. I think it depends on your area etc, but mine were actually really helpful so worth keeping in touch with but I know it’s not always like that unfortunately!
The midwives do home visits just to make you aware (I think that’s normal everywhere?)

 

[kayefeluu20]

Are they definitely in your house? Our prenatal visit is at their clinic, and I think with my 1st they came to our house 2 weeks after I gave birth (midwives came a couple of times before then) and then every other visit was at their clinic - so basically they were only at our house once. I think it depends on your area etc, but mine were actually really helpful so worth keeping in touch with but I know it’s not always like that unfortunately!
The midwives do home visits just to make you aware (I think that’s normal everywhere?)

My midwives don't do home visits - the health visitor is definitely at home. I get why they do home visits but the thought makes me just incredibly anxious so I'd rather they just buggered off. My current plan is to just do the first one and then sack them off or see them in their clinic if I really can't sack them off.

The anxiety I'd feel from having them in my house will far outweigh anything they can offer me to be honest I really don't like my space invaded. The reviews of my local health visitors (from women I know who have had babies) are far, far from glowing or being remotely positive. Just apprehensive at the whole thing, especially an antenatal visit. Feels pointless.

 

[LilyRose1234]

My midwives don't do home visits - the health visitor is definitely at home. I get why they do home visits but the thought makes me just incredibly anxious so I'd rather they just buggered off. My current plan is to just do the first one and then sack them off or see them in their clinic if I really can't sack them off.

The anxiety I'd feel from having them in my house will far outweigh anything they can offer me to be honest I really don't like my space invaded. The reviews of my local health visitors (from women I know who have had babies) are far, far from glowing or being remotely positive. Just apprehensive at the whole thing, especially an antenatal visit. Feels pointless.

Oh that’s literally the complete opposite of here, it’s weird how different it is! I think it’s completely fair enough and I’m sure if you explain your reasoning they’ll be fine with it. Worst case offer to pop to their clinic once in a blue moon - literally, we had a 14 day appointment, a 7 month appointment, a 14 month appointment and a 27 month appointment. I did see them more but that’s because they w re quite helpful! Routinely there’s minimal appointments so you shouldn’t even have to go to the clinic that oftrn

 

[Sickofinstacrap]

I'm happy to supply pictures of my house to prove it's not a crack den but the thought of some random woman appearing before my baby is even born and then 14 days after just bothers me immensely. I've read it "raises alarm bells" if you refuse? Is this true?

As a children’s nurse I would unfortunately say it’s true. Not necessarily alarm bells, but bells. It would be documented especially for the 14 day check. You could potentially ask if you can just bring your baby to their baby clinic?

 

[AllTheBest2022]

Just got a letter about the first health visitor visit and am just wondering... can you refuse? Really hate having people in my house

You can but it doesn't look good apparently. Wish I bloody refused last week instead of being patronised by her, despite having a fit and healthy toddler sitting alongside me during the appointment. I allowed them to do the initial home visit and will allow them for the first couple of visits after birth but then going to opt out. They were sod all help with my toddler the last 3.5 years.

 

[kayefeluu20]

As a children’s nurse I would unfortunately say it’s true. Not necessarily alarm bells, but bells. It would be documented especially for the 14 day check. You could potentially ask if you can just bring your baby to their baby clinic?

I just hate the idea of being around anyone post birth - I am so introverted and anti social that it makes me want to shrivel up and hide. Feels like so much unnecessary stress ugh. This letter has really sapped the fun out of my Friday night 🥲 I guess I'll have to grin and bear it for the antenatal and 14 day visit and then bin them off

 

[penpitstop]

My midwives don't do home visits - the health visitor is definitely at home. I get why they do home visits but the thought makes me just incredibly anxious so I'd rather they just buggered off. My current plan is to just do the first one and then sack them off or see them in their clinic if I really can't sack them off.

The anxiety I'd feel from having them in my house will far outweigh anything they can offer me to be honest I really don't like my space invaded. The reviews of my local health visitors (from women I know who have had babies) are far, far from glowing or being remotely positive. Just apprehensive at the whole thing, especially an antenatal visit. Feels pointless.

Generally a midwife (not necessarily the midwife you see now) will visit you at home the day or 2 after you are discharged from hospital to make sure you are ok. I thought this was the norm everywhere? I think after 1 or 2 home visits you then go to them in the clinic and are discharged to the care of the HV. If you have a good relationship with your midwife maybe bring up your concerns and see what they advise?

 

[kayefeluu20]

The idea of post birth home visits feels so outdated and unnecessary and invasive. Ugh. Thanks for the info ladies, I'll just have to suck it up

 

[Kaybethkay]

With my first we had to go to the hospital to see the midwives there, wasn’t fun when I was 2 days pp and had to get the bus there

I’m in a different area now and the midwife comes to me, which I don’t like I preferred going to them

 

[JulesC]

The idea of post birth home visits feels so outdated and unnecessary and invasive. Ugh. Thanks for the info ladies, I'll just have to suck it up

It probably seems like a big thing now (I’m not a fan of having people I don’t know in my house) but you’ll be so busy focussing on baby and your recovery that it won’t seem so bad when they do come. Also I wouldn’t advise shunning all health professionals (not saying that you would) but they can spot things that might be wrong with you or baby that you might not pick up on.

 

[kayefeluu20]

It probably seems like a big thing now (I’m not a fan of having people I don’t know in my house) but you’ll be so busy focussing on baby and your recovery that it won’t seem so bad when they do come. Also I wouldn’t advise shunning all health professionals (not saying that you would) but they can spot things that might be wrong with you or baby that you might not pick up on.

I think I am thinking about my recovery when I say it'll be absolutely terrible for me I'm not shunning any health professionals, just don't see why they need to come to my house more than once but whatevs I've resigned myself to it happening, I'll just mention to my midwife that it makes me ridiculously anxious

 

[JulesC]

I think I am thinking about my recovery when I say it'll be absolutely terrible for me I'm not shunning any health professionals, just don't see why they need to come to my house more than once but whatevs I've resigned myself to it happening, I'll just mention to my midwife that it makes my anxiety skyrocket

To be fair, I had no choice as I had a section so couldn’t have gone to see them just after the birth. It really wasn’t that bad though I promise!

 

[LilyRose1234]

The idea of post birth home visits feels so outdated and unnecessary and invasive. Ugh. Thanks for the info ladies, I'll just have to suck it up

I know, but the visits are quick, they’re looking out for you and the baby and hopefully if you explain to them (maybe even now so they know in advance) that you’re really not comfortable with it and it triggers your anxiety they’ll let you go to them instead so they don’t even have to come to you once. In my experience they stayed in the lounge so not like they even wanted to see where the baby slept etc

 

[stardust1]

It probably seems like a big thing now (I’m not a fan of having people I don’t know in my house) but you’ll be so busy focussing on baby and your recovery that it won’t seem so bad when they do come. Also I wouldn’t advise shunning all health professionals (not saying that you would) but they can spot things that might be wrong with you or baby that you might not pick up on.

yes i agree with this, i know a girl who’s baby ended up being rushed to hospital after their visit. The baby ended up extremely ill and likely would not have recovered if they left it much longer x

 

[kayefeluu20]

I know, but the visits are quick, they’re looking out for you and the baby and hopefully if you explain to them (maybe even now so they know in advance) that you’re really not comfortable with it and it triggers your anxiety they’ll let you go to them instead so they don’t even have to come to you once. In my experience they stayed in the lounge so not like they even wanted to see where the baby slept etc

Hmm. I think I've done the subject to death now haha its not until October so I'm just going to try to put it out of my mind. I don't want to seem like I'm shunning medical professionals, I realise they can spot things I can't, I'm not a lunatic. It's just such a shock to the system and feels outdated and invasive. The more I talk about it the more I'll get myself in a state

 

[Sickofinstacrap]

yes i agree with this, i know a girl who’s baby ended up being rushed to hospital after their visit. The baby ended up extremely ill and likely would not have recovered if they left it much longer x

Yea not to be scaremongering but I’ve had this happen a few times in work so it’s always useful to have fresh medical eyes coming to cast a quick helpful eye

 

[LilyRose1234]

Hmm. I think I've done the subject to death now haha its not until October so I'm just going to try to put it out of my mind. I don't want to seem like I'm shunning medical professionals, I realise they can spot things I can't, I'm not a lunatic. It's just such a shock to the system and feels outdated and invasive. The more I talk about it the more I'll get myself in a state

Oh not at all, I don’t think you’re a lunatic or shunning medical professionals, you just don’t want strangers in your house when you’ve just given birth which is fair enough! I would really hope they can work with you to find a solution that means you can still engage with them but without the extra stress of it being at home! X

 

[Hinchhater1442]

I don’t want to wind you up further, but generally the first few weeks feel like they’re packed full of appointments despite everyone telling you that you should be resting! It shocked me to be honest. Midwife check on day 3, 5, 7, 10 and then maybe more.. they usually discharge you on day 10ish but mine didn’t discharge me until day 24 due to some issues so I saw her day 18 and day 24. In between that we saw the health visitor too around day 14. And then we had an appointment to have him registered and we also booked a photoshoot (of course optional). They actually really helped me as it was a ‘reason’ to get myself up and about, but yes whilst trying to recover it can feel quite full on.

 

[kayefeluu20]

I don’t want to wind you up further, but generally the first few weeks feel like they’re packed full of appointments despite everyone telling you that you should be resting! It shocked me to be honest. Midwife check on day 3, 5, 7, 10 and then maybe more.. they usually discharge you on day 10ish but mine didn’t discharge me until day 24 due to some issues so I saw her day 18 and day 24. In between that we saw the health visitor too around day 14. And then we had an appointment to have him registered and we also booked a photoshoot (of course optional). They actually really helped me as it was a ‘reason’ to get myself up and about, but yes whilst trying to recover it can feel quite full on.

I don't mind leaving the house for appointments at all! I'm happy to see them in their clinics or whatever. It's purely home invaders that I don't like. As said previously, I'll be able to put up with it for the sake of the baby, I just think it's archaic in this day and age.

 

[CallMeHollywood]

See, I like the idea of not having to go out for an appointment.