Pregnancy #49

[JulesC]

Anyone else doing the bare minimum at work at the moment? I’m 28 weeks, also have a 3 year old - genuinely finding concentrating for a full day at work very difficult and by the evenings I’m shattered so never find the motivation/energy to catch up on work then. I’m lucky as my company is flexible and I basically manage my own workload but I know I’m slacking a bit at the moment but just don’t have the energy not to!

 

[WhatABore]

Just looking to see the majority re baby showers for a first pregnancy. Did someone else arrange on your behalf? If so, how far along were you?

I'm 26 weeks pregnant with my first. No one has mentioned me having a baby shower, not even to ask if I am having one. Is it expected that I will arrange it if I want one? I always thought it was for a friend/family member to arrange, and I mainly don't want to for fear that people will think I'm only having one for gifts.

I don't have a lot of friends, my best friend doesn't have kids so it maybe isn't on her radar. My mum, MIL & SIL are super excited about the pregnancy but even still, none of them have mentioned if I am having one. I'm scared to ask or mention it incase they don't care to have one. I'd like a small one, even if people just came to the house for lunch etc. I'm not usually one for parties etc especially hosting but I don't really feel like this would be about me. It'd be about the excitement of the new addition.

I am feeling a bit disheartened and if I'm honest, a bit hurt after seeing baby shower posts on Instagram and know that no one really seems interested in this for me. Maybe too emotional today but has anyone else felt like this? What did you do? I don't want to speak to my OH about it as he will just say to his mum/my mum and it will feel forced if they throw one because they are asked.

I don't know many people that have had a baby shower tbh.
I've never had one, nor have I ever been asked of I'm having one.
I've had quite a few pregnant friends and they've never had one nor asked me if I was having one.

I don't think that many people have them tbh.
I think if you want one, you either ask someone to arrange one, but then I wouldn't expect anyone to spend money out on a party for myself or arrange it yourself?

 

[AllTheBest2022]

I walked an hour round trip to the local shops today and it nearly killed me. Also 26 weeks. My first two pregnancies I swear I was more energetic and active than this!

Everyone always says "oh you'll be even more tired when the baby is here". They seem to forget I've already had a child so I'm not completely unexperienced, and also, pregnancy tiredness/fatigue is completely different for me and harder than waking up to do night feeds. I just feel so sluggish, heavy, and exhausted when I'm pregnant

 

[ScoutFinch]

I’m actually excited to give birth, although I have been watching one born every minute and have traumatised myself how does it stretch that much!!!

Same here I think I’ve been quite lucky that friends/family have only shared positive birth stories with me. After doing my NCT classes and starting hypnobirthing I feel a lot more informed and relaxed about it. I am just so excited to meet my baby and as long as they arrive safely I don’t really mind how they get here.

 

[justonemorepage]

It was pretty loud… which is why I’m panicking. Poor kid being deafened by crowded house… I’m 18 weeks. I’ve been to a lot of gigs since getting preggo, but I’ve not been worried about those, but this was direct noise.

I'm 25 weeks and only now my app is saying that the baby can be startled by noises so I think you'll be okay at 18 weeks. My other half went right up to my bump and loudly spoke to the baby and the baby booted him so I think you will definitely know if it's affected them in any way.

 

[kayefeluu20]

Maybe I'm extra hormonal but is anyone else really emotional at the thought of their partner becoming a parent too? This is our first child (both of us) and I'm so happy when I think about him as a dad, I just think he's going to be brilliant and the thought of him all cuddled up with our daughter makes me so excited. I'm yet to experience the "anger at partner" hormones, I'm so obsessed with him all the time

 

[CallMeHollywood]

Sorry to go a bit off topic…
We’re currently trying for our second and I’m about 90% sure id want my mom in the delivery room (1st child was during covid so not an option). However my partner is dead against this. They have a good relationship but he worries it’ll take away from his experience of the birth and fears my mom would ‘get in the way a bit’. I can see it from his side, but how the hell can we resolve this?!

Are you the one on BabyCentre who posted this a few weeks ago? you stirred up an interesting debate, if so. I didn’t reply, however, I can’t think of anything worse than having my mother present. He’s right, she’ll get in the way as there won’t be clearly defined roles.
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4am club came back. Held out as long as I could but it’s no use. Another tired day
My parents are arriving tomorrow and my mother has already said she’ll only be talking directly to my stomach as she wants her grandchild to know her voice best anyone else have a narc parent?

 

[Hinchhater1442]

There is a bit more to what happened but I wasn't offered a section as first option as had a trial of forceps first, which failed due to the surgeon tearing the side of my womb/cervix when he tried to manually turn my daughters head
But yeah I can 100% understand how you feel and I've got my fingers crossed for you that you get the support you need to come to terms with everything

Sorry yes of course every circumstance is different, and I get trusts may do things differently. I just can’t process/understand why they waited for so long. Once I was given the spinal they did offer forceps or c section. By that point I just went with the c section which I am very glad about! I just want to stop crying about it every day, it’s too much!!!

 

[Burrito88]

Spoiler: TW: anxiety around birth

I've spent most of the day reading positive birth stories but they've had the opposite effect on me. It's now dawned on me that in a few months I have to get this baby out and I am terrified. I can't stop crying. The thought of having to have a c section is making me so scared but equally the other option also doesn't sound appealing I want to be empowered by it and practice hypnobirthing but at the moment I can't see the wood for the trees. So overwhelmed today in other news my OH pulled through for me earlier which did help and I do think it's hard for them to understand the hormonal changes. For some reason it's hitting me hard today.

I’ve been trying not to think too much about that part but also reminding myself that women have done this for hundreds of thousands of years - mostly without any pain relief or even clean facilities or medical assistance.
I think we are a lot stronger than we realise!

 

[Woody2832]

I didn't want to bond before the 'safe point' (sounds harsh I know but we conceived so quickly I had a feeling something was going to go wrong) so I went without a private scan. We're going to go for one around 28 weeks.

I would second this. We had a private scan at 7 weeks with our first pregnancy and were told everything was normal, heard the heartbeat etc. then miscarried at 11 weeks. If you have an early scan it only tells you everything is OK at the moment you are scanned. I wished we hadn’t had the early scan when the worst happened as it was hard to comprehend that we had seen the baby and everything was OK and then suddenly it wasn’t.

 

[justonemorepage]

I can't stop buying baby clothes need to rein it in now lol. Also on the subject of baby clothes (I'm completely new to this) I understand that all baby clothes need to be washed before putting them on the baby. What temperature is best for this and do you need to use a special or particular brand of washing up powder or can I just use my existing one? Some of the stuff I've bought seems quite delicate - material wise and colour wise so I'm hoping I don't ruin any of it in the wash

 

[ScoutFinch]

Just waiting for my 32 week midwife appointment so catching up. It’s getting harder and harder to carefully pee in a pot the bigger my belly gets

 

[AllTheBest2022]

26 weeks and the fatigue and back pain is back in full force. Honestly struggling to keep my eyes open and even walking up the stairs to the toilet feels like an absolute mission

 

[nefariousnellie]

Spoiler: Induction

My induction is taking a long time, well it feels long to me and I'm struggling mentally with it all tbh.

Had the 24 hour pessary taken out earlier, cervix was looking better but she couldn't quite break my waters so I had the 6 hour gel. I am so sore from the pessary so it was a really awful examination and I felt so upset afterwards because things just aren't going as I'd hoped.

I now seem to have been forgotten about as was due to checked a while ago but no one has been in (I dozed off).

I just can't shake this feeling that I am going to end up having a traumatic assisted birth or emergency section after labouring fails. Labour hasn't even started yet and I'm exhausted and really struggling to be positive. Why can't my body just go into labour?

 

[rosieposie94]

I’ve found that most forums are almost primarily full of bad stories. I’ve stopped reading most stuff online because it’s so bad for my mental health. easier said than done but try and relax a bit.

This! People go on forums for advice or to unload. Not many will go on just to chat about how their pregnancy went by completely normally, nothing to report. So then it looks like every pregnancy is drama filled because it’s all you see online.

If it makes you feel better @kayefeluu20 my pregnancy with my daughter was textbook. Scans perfect, head down and engaged early on, no issues whatsoever. Easy peasy!

Hope the scan went well xx

 

[CallMeHollywood]

Does anyone else get pressure or what feels like bruising down there whenever they’ve had an active day? One of my babies are head down so wonder if it’s putting pressure on my nether regions every time I’ve been walking around and stood up a lot

Yes! I thought it was because I was poking him to move but maybe it’s actually him. I feel like I’ve had rough sex very bizarre.
we’re almost on a new thread ladies! That’s flown by, some great convos in here.
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In other news, my bump has popped today, and I’m just about in maternity jeans now. I finally have something to wear!

 

[CallMeHollywood]

yep, and the thought of ripping my hoohah to smithereens.... so many horror stories

This is why I’m having an elective

 

[kayefeluu20]

I am once again coming on here to complain about pregnancy hunger. I've whinged to my husband but he just doesn't get it. It's so different and visceral. If I have breakfast 30 mins later than usual it's like I've starved myself for a day, it's so extreme. I've never experienced hunger like it tbh. I feel like it's only going to be worse when I'm breastfeeding

 

[sazzles88]

We have a changing table in the bathroom, such a great place to have it if you can! Everything is wipe down for any accidents after baths we put them on the table wrapped in their towel, just been really helpful for us.

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

I stand corrected! Good to know.

Sorry I’m very passionate about it. It seems to be standard maternity care practice with GD to treat all cases the same and see the condition rather than the overall picture. My sugars were well managed and baby was measuring average on growth scans but I had to really fight my corner with the consultant to not be induced earlier than necessary. Obviously guidelines are there for a reason but they weren’t looking at me as an individual, they saw the condition and followed that.
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Update: I went to triage and they were lovely. Did loads of checks and I got to hear baby's heartbeat. All fine and basically the bleeding is unexplained but hopefully it's just one of those things. She also said that at this stage the baby can still tuck itself away in the uterus so it may be why I sometimes don't feel movement so that also makes sense.

@fudgebox I'm also hoping for a water birth. I have a few stages to "pass" before I find out if I can though. I need to check my placenta has moved up and I also need to be checked for strep b as I've had it in the past so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that both of those things come back clear so that I can have a water birth. My biggest fear is tearing so I'm hoping the water will help with that but who knows.

I did have a second degree tear with my water birth but I didn’t actually feel it. The water was such a help for me as I had no time for other pain relief just two sucks if gas and air then needed my breath to push. I had a very quick labour, two hours from first pain to holding him in the pool, so didn’t have much time to stretch.