These steroid injections have kicked my a lol, not sure if anyone else has had these with bad side effects - jaw tightening, night sweats, trouble sleeping
Pregnancy #48
- Start date
-
- Tags
- Pregnancy Threads
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
You’re welcome. Hopefully you don’t have it but if you do it doesn’t mean you automatically have to be induced or have decisions made for you.
It does depend.Silly question, but I'm hoping for a water birth all being wellbut I was thinking how does the midwife check how far dilated you are etc? Because obviously out of water they do checks (this is my first time so excuse the ignorance) but if you are in water obviously they can't see
do you have to sort of get out every so often so they can check? I sound so stupid I know
They can do them in the water though
At my hospital however, it's their policy (or whatever it'd be called) to only check once every 4 hours. So they wouldn't be checking loads anyway to limit infection
Ladies, are we allowed to take anything for swelling? My dodgy knee has swollen up and I can barely walk on it.
Would like honest opinions on whether I’m being a bit ridiculous about my family situation…
I seem to have found myself reacting weirdly to both my Dad and mother in law’s comments. I’m not sure if it’s my instinct kicking in to protect or whether they’re just strange
Ever since we announced the twin pregnancy my MIL has been naturally, beyond excited. 12 hours after telling her the news she went shopping and ended up filling 3 suitcases worth of baby clothes, getting a bath and some other equipment for us. I’m very grateful for everything but we both told her in a nice way to calm down because a) we don’t want her spending too much of her own money and b) it would be nice to get our own stuff as well.
She then went and told me she’s been testing out prams “for herself” so she can take them on the train somewhere when we need a break. I realise this is what grandparents do but in that moment I felt like screaming “no way!” at her. She’s also made jokes about not ‘sharing’ them with other members of the family. I might be being unfair but also a few years ago she had problems with her eyesight and said she was nearly blind, quitting work and has claimed benefits for quite a while, yet can read stuff and get public transport to our house 40 mins away from where she lives. She could see the scan pics quite clearly too. I might be way out of line commenting on her ability to look after small babies by herself due to her disability but it all just doesn’t sit right with me! She’s also offered to give us £500 towards a pram which I’m very grateful for but told her we need to think about it, it’s all quite overwhelming.
My dad on the other hand has been excited but hasn’t bought anything for them. He has made comments that he nearly bought some clothes the other day but wasn’t quite sure what we’d like. My mum died when I was 18 (20 years ago) and I’ve silently been quite sad at points that she’s not here to celebrate. I’ve never missed her as much as I do now. My dad has a new wife who I haven’t had the best relationship with. She’s 3 years older than me and quite childish and controlling, which other family members agree with. My dad and her had 2 dogs and she used to scream at them constantly. I have reservations about them babysitting and feel like I’m going to have to set some strong boundaries. My dad said she’ll be ‘chief babysitter’ which made me a bit worried. There’s just no trust there. He also asked if they could be there at the birth which I was horrified to hear! All quite strange and I wonder if it’s because they couldn’t have children so he’s trying to show her through me what it might be like.
I am very aware I might be overreacting about everything, it’s my hormones etc and other people have much worse parental / in law situations.
I seem to have found myself reacting weirdly to both my Dad and mother in law’s comments. I’m not sure if it’s my instinct kicking in to protect or whether they’re just strange
Ever since we announced the twin pregnancy my MIL has been naturally, beyond excited. 12 hours after telling her the news she went shopping and ended up filling 3 suitcases worth of baby clothes, getting a bath and some other equipment for us. I’m very grateful for everything but we both told her in a nice way to calm down because a) we don’t want her spending too much of her own money and b) it would be nice to get our own stuff as well.
She then went and told me she’s been testing out prams “for herself” so she can take them on the train somewhere when we need a break. I realise this is what grandparents do but in that moment I felt like screaming “no way!” at her. She’s also made jokes about not ‘sharing’ them with other members of the family. I might be being unfair but also a few years ago she had problems with her eyesight and said she was nearly blind, quitting work and has claimed benefits for quite a while, yet can read stuff and get public transport to our house 40 mins away from where she lives. She could see the scan pics quite clearly too. I might be way out of line commenting on her ability to look after small babies by herself due to her disability but it all just doesn’t sit right with me! She’s also offered to give us £500 towards a pram which I’m very grateful for but told her we need to think about it, it’s all quite overwhelming.
My dad on the other hand has been excited but hasn’t bought anything for them. He has made comments that he nearly bought some clothes the other day but wasn’t quite sure what we’d like. My mum died when I was 18 (20 years ago) and I’ve silently been quite sad at points that she’s not here to celebrate. I’ve never missed her as much as I do now. My dad has a new wife who I haven’t had the best relationship with. She’s 3 years older than me and quite childish and controlling, which other family members agree with. My dad and her had 2 dogs and she used to scream at them constantly. I have reservations about them babysitting and feel like I’m going to have to set some strong boundaries. My dad said she’ll be ‘chief babysitter’ which made me a bit worried. There’s just no trust there. He also asked if they could be there at the birth which I was horrified to hear! All quite strange and I wonder if it’s because they couldn’t have children so he’s trying to show her through me what it might be like.
I am very aware I might be overreacting about everything, it’s my hormones etc and other people have much worse parental / in law situations.
Last edited:
Firstly, you don’t have to share your children with anyone you don’t want to. If your mother in law is beginning to get territorial, tell her that you need to bond with them first before you start handing them off to other people. If she decides she still wants to buy things, let her spend her money, she can always sell it. My mother is doing the same thing despite me telling her not to buy things - she’s just wasting her money because mine will never be left alone with her. Make the rules and the draw the lines, it will be easier before they’re here.Would like honest opinions on whether I’m being a bit ridiculous about my family situation…
I seem to have found myself reacting weirdly to both my Dad and mother in law’s comments. I’m not sure if it’s my instinct kicking in to protect or whether they’re just strange
Ever since we announced the twin pregnancy my MIL has been naturally, beyond excited. 12 hours after telling her the news she went shopping and ended up filling 3 suitcases worth of baby clothes, getting a bath and some other equipment for us. I’m very grateful for everything but we both told her in a nice way to calm down because a) we don’t want her spending too much of her own money and b) it would be nice to get our own stuff as well.
She then went and told me she’s been testing out prams “for herself” so she can take them on the train somewhere when we need a break. I realise this is what grandparents do but in that moment I felt like screaming “no way!” at her. She’s also made jokes about not ‘sharing’ them with other members of the family. I might be being unfair but also a few years ago she had problems with her eyesight and said she was nearly blind, quitting work and has claimed benefits for quite a while, yet can read stuff and get public transport to our house 40 mins away from where she lives. She could see the scan pics quite clearly too. I might be way out of line commenting on her ability to look after small babies by herself due to her disability but it all just doesn’t sit right with me! She’s also offered to give us £500 towards a pram which I’m very grateful for but told her we need to think about it, it’s all quite overwhelming.
My dad on the other hand has been excited but hasn’t bought anything for them. He has made comments that he nearly bought some clothes the other day but wasn’t quite sure what we’d like. My mum died when I was 18 (20 years ago) and I’ve silently been quite sad at points that she’s not here to celebrate. I’ve never missed her as much as I do now. My dad has a new wife who I haven’t had the best relationship with. She’s 3 years older than me and quite childish and controlling, which other family members agree with. My dad and her had 2 dogs and she used to scream at them constantly. I have reservations about them babysitting and feel like I’m going to have to set some strong boundaries. My dad said she’ll be ‘chief babysitter’ which made me a bit worried. There’s just no trust there. He also asked if they could be there at the birth which I was horrified to hear! All quite strange and I wonder if it’s because they couldn’t have children so he’s trying to show her through me what it might be like.
I am very aware I might be overreacting about everything, it’s my hormones etc and other people have much worse parental / in law situations.
Second this - better to have one uncomfortable conversation now but have some boundaries in place.
I’m not usually one to start on about overbearing in laws etc, I think a lot of MILs start on the wrong foot because they overcompensate as they’re worried they’ll see less of the baby than maternal grandparents, but then it escalates from there! Plus you’ll never know when you do actually need people around to help, so good to keep them on side haha. That said, nothing wrong with setting boundaries and making sure you are comfortable (which is the main thing imo!). You’ve asked her not o buy anything further as you’d like to do it, just because she buys it and disregards that, you’re not obligated to use it. A standard “oh that’s so kind but we said we wanted to buy x y z ourselves so you can return it” does the trick. Also, no one is entitled to a sleepover, my toddler is 2 next week and hasn’t had a sleepover with family yet (haven’t needed to to be fair rather than don’t want to). They’re family but they’re not entitled to her, she’s not a possession
Anybody else essentially doing this alone? I have never been so jealous of women with loving partners in my life.
Baby was definitely an oops (but now very much wanted!) and dad does want involvement and will support BUT i am living alone, and working full time.
feel like I am drowning in it most of the time, I'm so exhausted and emotional!
Baby was definitely an oops (but now very much wanted!) and dad does want involvement and will support BUT i am living alone, and working full time.
feel like I am drowning in it most of the time, I'm so exhausted and emotional!
Ah jeez, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through, it must be like grieving all over again for your mum xxWould like honest opinions on whether I’m being a bit ridiculous about my family situation…
I seem to have found myself reacting weirdly to both my Dad and mother in law’s comments. I’m not sure if it’s my instinct kicking in to protect or whether they’re just strange
Ever since we announced the twin pregnancy my MIL has been naturally, beyond excited. 12 hours after telling her the news she went shopping and ended up filling 3 suitcases worth of baby clothes, getting a bath and some other equipment for us. I’m very grateful for everything but we both told her in a nice way to calm down because a) we don’t want her spending too much of her own money and b) it would be nice to get our own stuff as well.
She then went and told me she’s been testing out prams “for herself” so she can take them on the train somewhere when we need a break. I realise this is what grandparents do but in that moment I felt like screaming “no way!” at her. She’s also made jokes about not ‘sharing’ them with other members of the family. I might be being unfair but also a few years ago she had problems with her eyesight and said she was nearly blind, quitting work and has claimed benefits for quite a while, yet can read stuff and get public transport to our house 40 mins away from where she lives. She could see the scan pics quite clearly too. I might be way out of line commenting on her ability to look after small babies by herself due to her disability but it all just doesn’t sit right with me! She’s also offered to give us £500 towards a pram which I’m very grateful for but told her we need to think about it, it’s all quite overwhelming.
My dad on the other hand has been excited but hasn’t bought anything for them. He has made comments that he nearly bought some clothes the other day but wasn’t quite sure what we’d like. My mum died when I was 18 (20 years ago) and I’ve silently been quite sad at points that she’s not here to celebrate. I’ve never missed her as much as I do now. My dad has a new wife who I haven’t had the best relationship with. She’s 3 years older than me and quite childish and controlling, which other family members agree with. My dad and her had 2 dogs and she used to scream at them constantly. I have reservations about them babysitting and feel like I’m going to have to set some strong boundaries. My dad said she’ll be ‘chief babysitter’ which made me a bit worried. There’s just no trust there. He also asked if they could be there at the birth which I was horrified to hear! All quite strange and I wonder if it’s because they couldn’t have children so he’s trying to show her through me what it might be like.
I am very aware I might be overreacting about everything, it’s my hormones etc and other people have much worse parental / in law situations.
reigning your MIL in a bit will be a delicate operation but think she’s obviously so excited so really hard to temper that energy with allowing you guys to set boundaries too. She’s probably so excited she’s thinking way into the future about the train rides and things and all her ideas have come tumbling out at once.I have a mum whose love language is buying stuff too and it’s frustrating sometimes, sometimes she comes up absolute trumps but other times she’s got me wringing my hands. Be as sweet as you can but ultimately you can accept stuff and give it away or faceBay it if you want - use the money on the kids and she’s still helping you guys out and you’ve not had to fall out over it.
on the stepmom issue… well… your dad might be saying she’s chief babysitter as a way of showing excitement or involving her and you know, she might not be as into the idea anyway so you might not have to worry about it! Cross these bridges when you have to, but don’t let it dampen your excitement right now. People say all sorts of things when there’s a concept of a baby but often in reality they don’t want to put in the effort so you might have a lucky escape
also not to point out the obvious but dogs and kids are different so even if she shouted at her dogs she might be much nicer to your babies.Difficult to navigate everyone’s enthusiasm for your bundles but remember ultimately you will always have the final say. That said, I have a giant teddy bear that I hate that has sat In my daughter’s bedroom for the last 5 years that we can’t get rid of because we sadly lost my lovely MIL (who bought it for her) in 2020 and giant bear now for some reason holds some weird symbolism
so maybe don’t take my advice 
36 weeks pregnant and very hot and swollen. Also I’m at the stage where everyone who sees me insists on saying “oh your so big now” yeah no tit Sherlock, there’s a whole baby in there!
Thanks for all your kind and helpful comments as always. This thread is a real sanity saver for me and I think it will continue to be. I’ve just had a bit of a wobbler because I’ve realised I am actually grieving for my mum again and feel like part of my reaction to other family member’s behaviours is because it feels like there’s a big gap. I also lost my grandad earlier this year who helped to bring me up when my mum was ill for many years, while my dad was around sporadically when he wasn’t chasing 20 something year olds in other countries. A lot to unpack and I’m just a bag of emotions at the moment.
On a more positive note, it’s so empowering to read advice that says I can actually make these decisions about MY children and it makes me feel a lot stronger.
On a more positive note, it’s so empowering to read advice that says I can actually make these decisions about MY children and it makes me feel a lot stronger.
Yep I’ve been getting this as well! I was 36 weeks on Monday and even strangers are commenting the size of me when they’ve asked how long I’ve got left
No, BUT you CAN do this! A friend went through it alone (well she split from the dad after baby was about 3 months) and tbh she just said she was doing it all anyway (her mum was her birthing partner). You will absolutely find your rhythm with baby and it’ll never be easy peasy but that’s not what parenting is, but you will surprise yourself. Do you have any support from parents or tight friends or family?
Thank you for this, I am having a major wobble today because the baby will never have the family unit it deserves and maybe I'm horrible and selfish for keeping it even though I always wanted a child.
I do have support from friends, haven't even told the parents yet as the baby was not planned and I hate to disappoint them.
A bad day probably, hoping for a better one tomorrow.
I think you might be doing your future a disservice to say it will never have the family unit it deserves - you don’t know what’s to come in life. The most important thing a baby can have is love, and as long as you can give the baby that I wouldn’t be too hard on yourself. As for your parents, I’ve no idea of your set up/background etc but even if they’re a bit shocked at first I hope they get over that and are very supportive after that shock subsides. Try and look on the bright side now, you’ve got so much to look forward to.
39 weeks this weekend and I’ve been on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor and cleaning skirting boards in the hope I can get started
I was single Mum from the start with my 6 year old. I focused on the two of us and had great support from family and friends. She is my proudest achievement and although there’s been plenty of tough times, I genuinely feel lucky to have done it solo.
I never thought I’d have another baby or meet anyone else, and then 3 years ago I met my partner, our families blended and we are expecting a baby together in September. You really never know what the future holds
The baby deserves happy, engaged parents, and that looks different in every case! Maybe that’s two happy parents together or two happy parents living separately or one happy parent doing it on their own because the other parent isn’t interested or happy (and no baby deserves a parent who isn’t interested!). You should like you’ll be a wonderful parent, the fact you’re already worrying about your baby’s needs means you’re far from horrible and selfish. I’m sure they won’t be disappointed but if they are, and they can’t swallow that enough to support you, then it says more about then than you.
Can anyone recommend any good reasonable places to get maternity bras from. My boobs seem to have doubled in size in this pregnancy and my current bras are extremely uncomfortable 
Same. Also feet! I’m already a size 7-8!Can anyone recommend any good reasonable places to get maternity bras from. My boobs seem to have doubled in size in this pregnancy and my current bras are extremely uncomfortable
- Status