I’ve told him three times now to stop getting involved (he keeps asking me what will actually fit in the storage I’ve just ordered). I’m debating buying 24 different sized food storage boxes for £42 but I think that might push him over the edgeWe’ve already had Tupperware-gate in our house when I purged 6 year old Chinese takeaway boxes
They're our main source of food storage - free tupperware! We have a drawer full of them
Just do what you’ve planned. Can’t keep other people happy, I have a feeling my in laws think I’ll be traipsing half way around the country to bring my baby to see them. I will not!..How to deal with family
In my head my plan has always been:
- Not telling anyone when I go into labour, I only want that time between me and my husband and no one bothering us and no one asking for updates. Only letting people know when he’s born.
- No one visits us and baby until I/We feel ready, which is hard to know when that would be. First baby so our whole routine is going to change a lot and I don’t know what healing time in peace I’m going to want! But I doubt I’ll be ready after a few days..
My mum has had 2 people close to her pass away over the last month so she’s not been doing great and I’m being told by her and my dad that her being able to hold a newborn in the first few days would cheer her up.. and she’s also telling me she wants to know when I go into labour..
I feel awful for her losses but it shouldn’t be a thing made to make me feel like I’m going to upset her if she doesn’t get what she wants!! She also works at the hospital where we’re having baby so I’m dreading her wanting to come and visit right after he’s born too
She’s said she felt robbed of not being able to meet her other grandchildren a few days just after they were born (rightfully so though!!) and wants this one to be different..
I mean it is tough.. I’m pretty set on those things but I feel so awful that I’m going to probably upset her. Anyone have family that’s been like this and been able to make them understand?
ehh NO we won’t be allowing anyone!! Is it just me or is it not a given that you don’t kiss someone’s baby grandparent etc or not?!?! I broached the subject with my mum yesterday and she’s like “oh yeah it’s so tempting but obviously I’ll wait until he’s like a month or so old” and I got so angry because no I’d really rather you didn’t until he’s a bit older and less at risk of infections that can be potentially deadly to babies! I now don’t want to leave my baby with her or anyone else incase they go against what I’ve asked when I’m not around. I know I probably sound crazy but I know what she’s like and MIL is so old fashioned too so I feel like I’m not being taken seriously 
am I being too over the top?Definitely not being over the top, I’m the exact same & I’ll be telling people before they visit not to & if they do I’ll take him off them. I’ve never done it with any newborn & don’t see why people feel the need to!! If they’re not their kid they don’t have a say in my opinionI’m getting myself all wound up at the thought of anyone trying to kiss my baby when he’s born even when I specifically tell them not too. When I first spoke to my partner about it he was like yeah we will only allow close family
Also got two giant dogs who I only trust with certain people lol so I’ve got a few friends who will do shifts with them, and another couple of close friends who have been through labour who I want for moral (text) support and my parents. My in laws live 3000 miles away which is sometimes a blessingIn response to above I feel the same my husband and I have just been having this convo this week, he didn’t totally understand at first and was like surely they wouldn’t kiss him I can’t see them doing that I was like lol they definitely will. I saw something on Facebook which I might share to drop a hint to my mum.
I also want to have ‘boundaries’ about visiting etc but it’s all the unknown right now, how we will feel when he’s actually here etc. has anyone else done/ thought similar and how have you gone about this if so? As above it is also our first baby! I don’t think I’ll be able to keep Labour a secret as we have 2 dogs whcih I’ll be needing my mum to sort out
in the nicest possible way.
Yeah when I was talking with my parents I was telling them about one of the videos we'd watched (can't remember if it was an NHS one or baby academy) but it was about how other people shouldn't kiss your baby - and I don't want them too either! I would never kiss someone elses baby!I’m getting myself all wound up at the thought of anyone trying to kiss my baby when he’s born even when I specifically tell them not too. When I first spoke to my partner about it he was like yeah we will only allow close family
ETA I know her hearts in the right place and she’s just really excited about her first grandchild but I can’t help that I feel so strongly about this
I have the same boundaries as you & although it isn't a mother dealing with a loss, I have an overbearing mum & mother in law who want to be there for everything...How to deal with family
In my head my plan has always been:
- Not telling anyone when I go into labour, I only want that time between me and my husband and no one bothering us and no one asking for updates. Only letting people know when he’s born.
- No one visits us and baby until I/We feel ready, which is hard to know when that would be. First baby so our whole routine is going to change a lot and I don’t know what healing time in peace I’m going to want! But I doubt I’ll be ready after a few days..
My mum has had 2 people close to her pass away over the last month so she’s not been doing great and I’m being told by her and my dad that her being able to hold a newborn in the first few days would cheer her up.. and she’s also telling me she wants to know when I go into labour..
I feel awful for her losses but it shouldn’t be a thing made to make me feel like I’m going to upset her if she doesn’t get what she wants!! She also works at the hospital where we’re having baby so I’m dreading her wanting to come and visit right after he’s born too
She’s said she felt robbed of not being able to meet her other grandchildren a few days just after they were born (rightfully so though!!) and wants this one to be different..
I mean it is tough.. I’m pretty set on those things but I feel so awful that I’m going to probably upset her. Anyone have family that’s been like this and been able to make them understand?
Yep I just feel like it shouldn’t even be a thing, you shouldn’t even have to ask that people don’t do it IMO so the fact that it’s brushed off winds me up. I could tell when I was speaking to my mum about it she was just humouring me by being like yeah I’ll wait a month and it’s been playing on my mind because I just knew she’d be like this!Yeah when I was talking with my parents I was telling them about one of the videos we'd watched (can't remember if it was an NHS one or baby academy) but it was about how other people shouldn't kiss your baby - and I don't want them too either! I would never kiss someone elses baby!
Also watched about how smokers should change their clothes right before holding baby - that one maybe extreme but I'd rather smokers visit wearing clean clothes then they can smoke away once they leave!
but my parents think all this sounds like nonsense and babies will never build up their immune system if you're keeping them that well protected from everything ...
got to go through the same discussion with in laws yet who will probably also call it nonsense
it's so stupid and I hope people will respect our wishes
otherwise may be falling out with some people
it def has wound me up today as well !
Stick to your guns! My family suffered a loss this year and a few times people have said “meeting the baby is keeping us going” which is a nice sentiment but it’s also a bit yeesh… pressure much? I don’t want anyone coming around the first few days and I certainly won’t be allowing unannounced guests. I have told my mum..How to deal with family
In my head my plan has always been:
- Not telling anyone when I go into labour, I only want that time between me and my husband and no one bothering us and no one asking for updates. Only letting people know when he’s born.
- No one visits us and baby until I/We feel ready, which is hard to know when that would be. First baby so our whole routine is going to change a lot and I don’t know what healing time in peace I’m going to want! But I doubt I’ll be ready after a few days..
My mum has had 2 people close to her pass away over the last month so she’s not been doing great and I’m being told by her and my dad that her being able to hold a newborn in the first few days would cheer her up.. and she’s also telling me she wants to know when I go into labour..
I feel awful for her losses but it shouldn’t be a thing made to make me feel like I’m going to upset her if she doesn’t get what she wants!! She also works at the hospital where we’re having baby so I’m dreading her wanting to come and visit right after he’s born too
She’s said she felt robbed of not being able to meet her other grandchildren a few days just after they were born (rightfully so though!!) and wants this one to be different..
I mean it is tough.. I’m pretty set on those things but I feel so awful that I’m going to probably upset her. Anyone have family that’s been like this and been able to make them understand?
typical timing I just took the snuzpod apart to wash the fabric bits so now he doesn't even have anywhere to sleep 
Hi lovely, I’m currently in the middle of my fourth pregnancy having suffered 2 previous losses. Bleeding is completely normal especially when early on in the pregnancy, however if you’re worried I would advise speaking to your early pregnancy unit at your local hospital. As you’re so early your early pregnancy unit may not be able to find a heartbeat on a scan (I think they normally suggest 6 weeks onwards) but it would definitely be worth speaking to them if it would help ease your worries - I would also make it clear to them about your history. Mine were very lovely and said I could go in when I was worried in this pregnancy.
