Pregnancy #4

[Definitelyme]

I am 8 weeks with my first pregnancy. The constant sick feeling and intense sense of smell is really getting me down. I never realised how bad pretty much everything smells. Just thinking about the bin in the morning can start sickness.

Oh lovely, I’m sorry to hear you are feeling miserable. I know exactly how you feel - the sense of smell for me is always really horrendous. Any smell in the kitchen is too much for me, my husband has to do EVERYTHING in there when I’m pregnant. The dishwasher this time (when it’s clean and needs empty) is the absolute worst. But hopefully it eases for you soon.

 

[StrawberryCream]

Seems to be so many of us have had spotting in the first trimester and turns out to be nothing concerning, must be more common than you’d think it is. Still worth getting checked if it happens though

 

[Definitelyme]

Right I need someone to talk me down

I'm 18+5 and I just don't feel pregnant. I thought I could feel her move last week but I've not had much this week. On top of that my RHR on fit bit has dropped slightly, it was sitting up at 77 and gone down to 74 the last 3 days. Which I know isn't massive but when I had a loss ( albeit much earlier....like 5 weeks) my RHR was the first thing I noticed dropping before it happened.

Am I just being stupid? I still have symptoms sore head/sickness/sore nipples.

I'm probably just majorly over reacting but I'm just so worried somethings gone wrong. On top of that I don't have a designated midwife (as mine left) yet so I don't don't know who to call/what would I even say?!

You aren’t being stupid. It’s absolutely normal to worry yourself sick, and it’s not stupid at all. It’s a hard time before you feel a lot of movement, but hopefully you will feel more soon and have your 20 weeks scan coming up to reassure you

 

[Icbaaaa]

You are not an awful mum! I have been feeling the same way about my daughter too it’s been just us for 4 years and I do feel slightly guilty that a new baby is coming and she won’t be my centre of attention anymore, I actually had a cry the other night in bed thinking about it I’m sure it’s probably common feeling going from mum of 1 to a mum of 2 though, I am planning on getting her a present from the baby when she arrives, Iv heard of a few people doing this, x

Thank you so much! I'm glad it's not just me who's felt this way. My sons only 2 so still too young to know what's going on but I think getting him a gift from baby will be a good idea. We're gonna set up the moses basket and next2me next month to give him time to get used to it and hopefully that will go well hahaha! X

 

[Kitt]

Has anybody gone private for their maternity care / birth? I have really good cover through work so it won’t cost anything to access but unsure how it works (ive only ever used office services before) - do the NHS just sign you off to them or do they want you still to attend your NHS scans etc so they are aware of your baby and any issues? I’m in London so there are a couple of options for hospitals but I don’t really know where to start.

I’m not super knowledgable about this. The only thing I know from Adam Kay’s book (he was a gynaecologist in NHS who did extra work in private hospitals). He said that if you were in labour at night in a private hospital and there was no consultant there in an emergency, you’d just be shipped to an NHS hospital for treatment so in that situation it defeats the object of going private. From what I gathered from his book, he thinks women should just do NHS for birth because there’s always people there. Private hospitals can’t guarantee the same. Obviously look into this yourself and make your own decision!

 

[Definitelyme]

Hi everyone,
Been following along since thread 2 but haven't said anything because we hadn't announced to an IRL friend on here
I'm 9+6 today, already seen baby once to date the pregnancy.
I hope this isn't triggering for anyone but I have a really big fear with covid at the mo and going into hospital. I was so anxious at my scan.
I've had the letter for our 12 week scan and it says to turn up 30 minutes before the appointment and it's making me freak because I just don't want to be sitting around in a covid hotspot for that long
Is this a thing everywhere? Its not entirely clear to me why I have to turn up that early.

Hi and congratulations!

I noticed a big difference this time round in hospital appointments. Previously, the waiting room has been packed with women and partners, to the point at times I’ve had to stand.

This time round with covid there are many fewer people in the waiting area (maybe 4 others) and they have someone stop you on the way in to the department for a covid questionnaire, hand sanitising etc. Apart from the midwife I didn’t get close to anyone at all, I would have had to have gone out of my way to do so. Hopefully your hospital is the same

 

[Squiggle]

Just to let you know, ergobabyuk have a giveaway on their insta! Worth a shot hey xx

 

[orange club biscuit]

How do you guys all feel about socialising and going back to ‘normal’ whilst you’re pregnant and haven’t had the vaccine? Assuming the advice stays the same re the vaccine...

i know it’s a bit theoretical but I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid at a wedding at the end of June and will be 7 months pregnant. Am really dreading potentially having to make a decision about whether to go or not!

 

[Tui]

when I had my last baby it was just me and one other girl in the ward, and so I got a pretty good handle on the fact she’d been told she was having a girl, and had bought all bright pink, and then when the baby emerged he brought his pesky penis out too she spent the whole day on the phone frantically trying to get her mum and partner to buy a new car seat and Moses basket, as apparently they were both bright pink.

I did feel bad for her, but it did provide me some light relief in an otherwise dull stay!

Oh god bonkers to buy a pink car seat unless you aren’t planning on any other children?! I don’t have all blue clothes, think the pink/blue thing is a bit naff and I love dinosaurs so would want any little girl of mine to like them too but there was defo a penis there!

 

[Tui]

I wonder do they cover it in antenatal classes? Maybe someone who has done some recently can let me know.

I hate seeing pictures on Facebook or wherever of people using car seats incorrectly. But as you say, you don’t want to be seen as mum shaming, or being a know it all, or sticking your nose in, so I say nothing.

They don’t! I did NCT and they didn’t talk about car seats at all!

I have car seat adapters but my car seat is a Cybex Cloud Z which reclines when out of the car so is safe for extended use. Otherwise I agree wouldn’t have bothered with the adapters as they just make it tempting to keep the baby in it too long

 

[Hbirdette]

Yes I am bloody exhausted today, I could actually go to bed right now. where is this second trimester energy at?
Have you guys bought any new clothes or baby stuff yet? I just spent £100 on new bras as I could barely breathe in the one I was wearing yesterday!

depends how big your boobs are I suppose but for anyone that is on the smaller scale.... I was a B/C cup before getting pregnant and I’ve not gone huge, I’m quite small framed but I’ve been wearing these bras from ASOS. They are really comfy.

in terms of clothes, I’m living in mainly loungewear cause I’m not working but on the rare occasion I venture out I’m just wearing stretchy fitted dresses. I HATE jeans with a passion. I was a size 8 before getting pregnant and I bought a few pairs in a size 10 maternity and they are so uncomfortable on my bump, biggest waste of money ever lol.

Anyone else close to maternity leave and wish they’d finished work sooner?!

First baby, I was very cocky that I’d be able to work up to 40 weeks (I’m working from home so it’s not physically taxing)

due to some pregnancy complications baby will now be coming from 37-39 weeks so I opted to start Mat leave at 37 weeks.

I’m 35 weeks now and I’m knackered! I wish I had finished earlier. It’s the mental stuff more than anything - mentally juggling work and work handover with baby stuff. And I’m shattered. Think it doesn’t help that I’ve mentally already checked out of my work because I’m having a year off woooo.

this!! I was planning on working until 38/39 weeks but had to stop at 26 cause of being furloughed... best thing ever! I genuinely take my hate off to women working late on in their pregnancy. I’m struggling and on week 36

 

[StrawberryCream]

23 weeks and just wondered if anyone else’s bump gets really big at night?!! It feels so bloated around 10pm and is uncomfortable. Is there anything I can do to relieve it?

I’m 31 weeks and bump is always bigger at night I also find it harder to walk in the evenings, when I wake up my bump is soft and much smaller I think it’s mabye the way the baby is lying?

 

[Easilyannoyed]

So glad my mum will just let accept whatever I do as she told me my nan was very overbearing when I was born and it really upset her. Although my mum thinks 4d scans were really weird and look like aliens and my dad thinks finding out the gender is ruining the surprise! He also told me not to buy loads of shit I don’t need... which is hilarious because he is king of buying pointless things giant magnet anyone?

Ooh I assumed when it asked if your periods were irregular it somehow mattered when you ovulated, some calculators ask for conception date which I figured was the day we had sex closest to when I knew I ovulated. I track my periods so I know my dates and I think going by that makes me a week further along than the other way! So confusing!

Massive congratulations my cycles were so all over the place I had no idea how pregnant I actually was. I am 14 weeks now however my last period was 11th November and it was a very odd one at that. I had an early scan because I thought something may be wrong because literally years of no contraception and bam surprise! Really helped my worrying seeing the baby on the screen even if it did look like a tadpole x

 

[WhatABore]

I had an epidural with my second. And I was so against having one.
It still gets to me a bit now that I gave in.
And think people will see me as a failure.
The main reason I actually gave in wasn't even the pain, but the guy offering the epidural came in every 20 minutes to ask if I was sure I didn't want one.
In the end, I got that fed up of him coming and asking me, mid contraction that I just said yes.

My partner counted at the time and he came in 14 times to ask altogether. Every 15-20 minutes.

 

[Definitelyme]

I’m 35 weeks on Sunday only been off on maternity leave for a week and so bored literally everything for the baby is bought and organised there’s not much left to do round the house odds and ends but trying to keep some stuff for next week so I’ve something to do. Our lockdown here has just been extended till the 1st of April as well i try to get out for a walk most days even if it’s only to the shop and back but can barely walk the length of myself now. I’ve a 2nd growth scan next Thursday I’ll be nearly 36 weeks. 1st one was at 30 weeks and they told me she was already weighing over 4lb so I don’t really know what’s gonna happen next week if they think she’s still growing quite rapidly whether they’ll bring me in early for a sweep or what not

I’m in NI as well, I’m only 30+4 atm but am seriously wondering if my kids are actually going to be back at school by the time my section comes round just after Easter. Try and binge some box sets maybe to take your mind off the boredom? Things just suck at the minute, but hopefully come 8th you can meet up outside with a few friends.

@Tui good luck for the house move!

 

[Nursty]

What bottle steriliser do people have? Ive not got a very big microwave so think I'll need an electric one but there's so many to choose from and going by the amazon reviews they're all terrible

We went for a Milton cold steriliser too.
So easy to do and you can use the same fluid all day.

 

[Hbirdette]

Yes it’s one of those things people only seem to find out when they have kids, I don’t know why it isn’t out out there more. In fact, I think the info given out around car seat safety in general is awful. I certainly have never received any information from midwives/health visitors about car safety, and it’s so bloody important!

Don’t worry I definitely won’t be doing that! I still am totally shocked when people put cot bumpers on babies cribs, the fact that they are even for sale even though there is so much research as to how dangerous they are petrifies me.

 

[Easilyannoyed]

I started another thread for this a few days ago but actually it’s probably better to ask on here!

I mentioned before that my job was at risk of redundancy - I applied for an internal secondment in another department, and then was told my current job is secure (yay!). I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do about the new job, but I’ve now passed the first stage and have been invited to an interview next week.

I really don’t know what to do... if I wasn’t pregnant I’d 100% want to do it. But part of me is wondering if it’s a bit much to take on a new job at the moment - the past few weeks have been tough with sickness/tiredness and I’m wondering how I’ll feel as the months pass. The new job is a higher workload than my current job and so I don’t know if I’ll regret it when I could just stay in my current job and chill out! But I’m also looking at it from a career progression side, in that this might be more of a long term role for when I’m back from mat leave.

I know ultimately I have to make the decision but just wondering if anyone has any advice? I haven’t told family/friends yet so I’ve just been mulling it over myself for the past week!

Sorry it’s me who responds first but I am wide awake tonight my advice is do you actually want the job yes or no? Will it fulfil you in the way you want satisfaction money enjoyment etc? I think if they are considering you they think you can do it which says to me you are ready for a step up also what do you have to lose if you don’t get it your job is safe and you can chill. If you do get it think how good it will feel. I am comfy in my job I cba to try and climb at the moment I know I am going to have to side step to go up. The only thing I would think is that if it’s a secondment depending how long for they will then also need to replace you once you go on may leave end your old job will be taken by someone else potentially x

 

[Shoegal17]

Just curious for those of you working...when did you get your risk assement done?
Work have known I've been pregnant since I was 7 weeks (was subsequently signed off for 8 weeks) been back since then and I'm now 20 weeks. I work in a fairly manual job where I'm expected to lift and also get on the back of tankers to sample.
I work in a lab and have identified chemicals not safe to touch myself. I pointed out I would no longer be doing these things and asked when I could be risk assessed. They seem to really be dragging their feet with doing one
Does anyone know if it has to be completed by a certain week? Can't find much online!

Employers have a duty of care to risk assess as soon as you make them aware of the pregnancy and review this assessment on a regular set out timeframe under the Health & Safely at Work Act. You have to legally tell your employer 15 weeks before your due but most people would make them aware at least after 12 weeks or as soon as they need to depending on what kind of work you do.

 

[Squiggle]

I have it really bad I have spd and found this out last night from the doctors I really sympathise as it’s so painful xx

I have it too. Also had it with my last child. The pain is so so bad. I found physio last time did nothing but seeing an osteopath has really helped this time round.