Pregnancy #4

[moimoi]

I brought up my birth plan at my 28 week appointment last week as have no idea what it is but heard they’re a thing, the midwife just said ‘that’s something to look at later.’ Didn’t fill me with a load confidence.

 

[Rose18778]

I’m so sorry to read this. I had a MMC at my 12 week scan in a previous pregnancy. Baby stopped growing at 11+4, I’d had a scan at 7 weeks and saw the heartbeat, so it floored me. I had the medical management and I found it very tough, I was in hospital for 4 days whilst it happened and it truly felt like labour, something I wasn’t expecting just to warn you. I hope things go smoothly for you and you get your rainbow baby very soon. Take care of yourself in the coming weeks and months. Xx

So sorry to hear about your previous MMC I had a scan 10 days ago and saw a heartbeat but was measuring a week behind. I just had a feeling the last few days that something wasn’t right. That sounds awful about staying in hospital and it feeling like labour, thank you for the warning though. Hopefully it will be ok. Thank you for your kind words and best of luck with your pregnancy xxx

 

[Tui]

I honestly have no clue why anyone would wean early. Never mind the science behind it all, but you have to feed your kids every day, many times a day, for years. Give yourself a break and hold out on that as long as possible

Indeed, so messy!

 

[Definitelyme]

Random question for anyone that’s due around end of March - mid April time. I’m just packing my bags this weekend (well I’ve written the list so it’s a start) but in terms of actually bringing baby home... I’m thinking vest, sleepsuit, cardigan, hat and blanket on the car seat. Do you reckon will that be enough? I see a lot of babies at the moment being dressed up in those big fluffy all in ones, are they called pram suits?! I know it’s not gonna be boiling hot come April time but I don’t wanna overheat the poor thing

Please never put a snowsuit on a baby in the car. Layers are better, and if the car is warmed then a blanket may not even be needed. With a snowsuit they can overheat as you say, but also you shouldn’t ever have them in a car seat in anything thick (snowsuit, thick winter coat) as it means the straps aren’t as tight as they need to be. Some places sell thin, fleece all in ones which would be more suitable for car use as they can’t be compressed.

Child safety - RoSPA

Advice and information on vehicle safety and vehicle technology

www.rospa.com

Best Winter Gear that is Safe in the Car Seat - The Car Seat Lady

How to keep your child warm AND safe in the car seat - suggestions on coats, snowsuits, and products that are safe for car seats.

thecarseatlady.com

wow sickness still at 31 weeks, that’s really intense. Bless you. Does it feel like a constant stomach bug?

I suppose so, yeah. Just that constant feeling of nausea, accompanied by gagging and retching at times. I take tablets to try and keep it down, but they don’t always help

 

[Hellofromtheotherside]

How annoying are some women who’ve had babies a long while ago so aren’t in the know about current health recommendations? My mom is doing my head in.

I said I’m gonna get a pregnancy pillow cause i keep waking up on my back. My mom said ‘what’s wrong with that?’ I explained. She said ‘sorry but I must’ve slept on my back loads when pregnant.’ Ok good for you but I’m sure lots of women also did and weren’t so lucky.

I also explained about baby needing to lie flat when sleeping so needing a flat pushchair and she was snooty about that. I’m gonna have to be strict on her when baby is born to make sure she’s following what I say should be done not what she thinks she knows best. I’m just glad my husband doesn’t see his parents so I don’t have MIL putting her 2 cents in as well.

Haha it doesn't get no better as the babies get older either, they give you so much crap advice and they also fill your child with all the food they shouldn't be eating gave my MIL strict instructions I don't mind him having a treat but he's not having a milky bar yog, a whole packet of crisps and chocolate in one day at 16 months. Please give him fruit

 

[HoneyBee29]

Will everyone be sorting out their nursery room before baby is born? We moved recently and the spare room which will be the nursery needs to be completely gutted, replastered, redecorated etc. Part of me wants to get it all done before baby is here but part of me thinks they won’t be going in there straight away anyway?

We haven’t bothered with a nursery, we just got the basic stuff we need to do us the first few months, haven’t bothered with baby furniture or anything. Just think it’s an extra expense when it won’t be used anytime soon and we’ve no room for it either. We are currently renting a 2 bed house but it’s tiny and our spare room we had to get extra chest of drawers etc for in there because the house has no storage space. We’re currently hoping to buying my grandparents house and hoping to get moved by the summer it’s 3 bedrooms and way more space that we need so will just be doing her bedroom up in that house

 

[Kitt]

Don't feel silly. It's what they're there for!
How far are you now?

that’s what I’m trying to tell myself. I’m 11+2 today

 

[Hellofromtheotherside]

Who knows what will happen I think we should be realistic that it could all change @Hellofromtheotherside my theory on things now is I will see what it’s like when it happens because otherwise I get my hopes up which is far worse than being pleasantly surprised x

I know youre right that's very true just really want my mum there bloody covid!!!! Xx

 

[Squiggle]

We did the signature course which was 7 sessions (4 evenings plus 3 back to back sessions all day Saturday). £205. It was all done over zoom and now we have a WhatsApp group, one for couples and one just for the mums. Hoping to meet in person once covid permits. It covers what most antenatal classes will so stuff like science of labour; spontaneous vaginal delivery/induction/C section, pain relief options, coping techniques, post partum period, baby care and a session on breastfeeding. In my area there are no NHS/free antenatal classes running right now. The good aspect of it is the social aspect which has been impaired by covid but hoping if people are motivated we can still salvage that as I have friends who are still mates with their NCT groups years later. It’s luck of the draw I think and is helped if people are all local to you (my group is but I have heard of some whose groups are from all over the city and haven’t kept in touch).

I went to Nct classes with my first. We met up for the first year and then most of the couples moved away and now it feels like a polite hello on SM every now and then. We all had such different births, mine being the most straight forward, and comments were made about it and how I didn't have to go on antidepressants afterwards. I felt like they pushed me out because I didn't have that in common with them. A few comments were made for me to feel this way which I won't say on here, it wasn't just me randomly feeling sensitive.

 

[Tui]

I’m the same I think I would have to book a private scan in the third trimester if I wasn’t getting growth scans, 20 weeks is a long wait! My last pregnancy I had a different midwife at every appointment which seems to be very common but Iv had the same one this time, she’s lovely too which makes things so much better, Iv heard of women having to request a new midwife because they didn’t like theirs

I’ve seen a different midwife every time due to staffing/leave and moving house. Unfortunately the one I met yesterday is going to be my regular midwife, I was unimpressed.

 

[orange club biscuit]

I'm really similar (although lucky that I have a few close mates having babies around the same time as me, but we don't meet up that much). I want to try and make new mum friends too, but have similar issues with making friends. I never make the first move like suggesting coffee as I always think people will make a face or think it's a ludicrous suggestion, and I somehow always miss out on new friendship groups forming, this has happened at gyms etc in the past. But once I have baby I will force myself to make more effort, not just for me but I also want to set a good example to my child.

I feel this way and have come to the conclusion that the majority of people are too! Covid hasn’t really helped either TBH. I’ve been trying to get better at it since we moved to a new city earlier this year but it still makes me a bit anxious - never been turned down yet which is good I downloaded the Peanut app to see if there was anyone in my area around a similar stage in pregnancy but it does feel a bit like an awkward dating app - especially since it’s a bit weird to meet up with a stranger for a walk at the moment. Hopefully it’ll be a little bit easier in the summer!

we also just signed up to NCT eventually - for some reason all the classes in my area were fully booked last week already?! But have managed to squeeze onto the nearest one as someone dropped out - wasn’t massively keen to do the one 5 miles away in a different suburb given the whole point of it is to make parent friends!

Also, have any of you had round ligament pain? what does it feel like? I’m 15 weeks today and getting kind of cramping down one side but it doesn’t actually hurt that much.

 

[Lulu Goss]

Just a little update for everyone who replied to my previous messages about my employers reluctance to treat me fairly regarding the guidelines about working from 28 weeks onwards. Today they have finally emailed me after I sent them quite a firmly worded letter (I found a template online) and have agreed I can stay safe at home and continue to be paid until my maternity leave starts 8 weeks today. 28 weeks tomorrow and I can now relax and not stress about money in my last trimester. I also had a growth scan today (I’m over 40 so have serial growth scans every 4 weeks from today onwards) baby girl is growing perfectly and has an estimated weight today of 2lb 7oz going to bed a very happy Mama tonight x

That’s excellent news! You shouldn’t have had to push so hard in the first place but glad they finally got it sorted out for you. You can relax now! X

Just found this thread. Currently 7 weeks after a miscarriage last august, have one little boy already and that pregnancy seemed like a breeze in comparison to this. I’m extremely bloated never hungry only eating small meals because I know I have to. Did anyone else have this? Did it continue straight through the pregnancy or did it ease up any bit? It’s so uncomfortable with the bloat and drinking loads of water, peppermint tea and had some prune juice as well

I’ve been very bloated too, I’m 8 weeks and I can look like I’ve got an actual bump some points/angles, but it’s all just bloat. I’m not eating much either. No advice really just sympathy as I know how uncomfortable it is! Sorry to hear about your miscarriage too x

 

[Definitelyme]

I can't help but feel somewhat guilty that my toddlers not gonna get all my attention when baby's here I feel more anxious as the weeks get closer and knowing our dynamic is all gonna change and its not gonna just be me, my fiance and our son? Does this go away because I feel like an awful mum

I think this is absolutely a normal way to feel. When you just have one child and then another comes along everything changes slightly (I don’t think hugely at first though!) and I think that guilt is natural. I feel guilty atm that my 2yo hasn’t gotten lots of time with me the way the other did, because I school closures, and a new baby will be here soon.

However, when the baby gets here you will see that your worries are totally unfounded. I was in bits before my second came along, thinking I’d ruined my daughter’s life! But actually babies sleep so much at the start you can still spend lots of time with an older one and it makes the transition more gradual I think. Plus all my older ones have ADORED a new baby, and the love and joy they feel outweighs everything else. And they get a great playmate for the future too

Currently on antenatal ward, worst nights sleep going thanks to lady next to me snoring all night long.
35 week and waters went yesterday, due to be induced today. Hope baby will be ok, that’s my major concern.

Ugh sorry about the lack of sleep. Hope all goes well today, let us know how you get on x

 

[Lulu Goss]

So glad my mum will just let accept whatever I do as she told me my nan was very overbearing when I was born and it really upset her. Although my mum thinks 4d scans were really weird and look like aliens and my dad thinks finding out the gender is ruining the surprise! He also told me not to buy loads of shit I don’t need... which is hilarious because he is king of buying pointless things giant magnet anyone?

Had to reply to this because my dad also bought a giant magnet in lockdown is that just a dad thing to do??

 

[StrawberryCream]

here’s my baby! Anyone good on skull or nub theory?

View attachment 441596

I’d guess a girl

 

[orange club biscuit]

Good tip on H&M! Have just had a scan of their website and they look like they have some nice maternity clothes too. I also looked at ASOS earlier but found all the models and poses a bit weird, like they’re all normal models wearing fake bumps, it’s slightly off putting!

 

[Nursty]

Oooh I just realised, those of you who said you like the Mama Mio stuff, my little sample has a code for 25% off your first order. It's 25BOUNTY if anyone wants it.

 

[Definitelyme]

If my midwife appointments were over the telephone there would literally be no point. All they care about is urine, BP and ask me about movements. I'm 37 weeks on Friday and they haven't discussed labour/birth with me yet, never mind feeding and postnatal care. Their consultation style is dire.

I have never once had anyone discuss labour and birth or anything like that with me, over 4 pregnancies. No chat at all about it.

 

[Tui]

Hey all, been having on off brown bleeding last few days but been feeling, or been trying to feel, okay about it as I had it last week then baby was fine on scan. Just went to the toilet and had red blood instead of brown. It’s knocked me again. EPU told me to call if brown turned to red and so I did and they’re going to try to get me a scan tomorrow.

Feel so stupid with needing these constant scans. This is so stressful

Absolutely not a reason to feel stupid, this is a very good reason for a scan. Especially given your history of this starting out as a twin pregnancy (I wonder whether there is any link there between that and the bleeding?). Hope it all goes ok and sorry you’re still having to deal with this, bleeding in pregnancy is just awful for anyone, always worrying for mum no matter how many scans!

All this chat about incorrect sex on scan is making me paranoid told boy at 20 week scan and never been told anything else about the sex at my 2 growth scans, but also think asking at 38 weeks may be tempting fate and better to just leave it lol! I DEFINITELY saw a penis though. I knew it at the start of the scan and she didn’t address sex until the end

 

[PineappleTopper]

@Kitt my partner was getting on my nerves recently. I went out with a friend, had a bit of a rant on our walk (but explained he is absolutely lovely and trying his best), hes just pissing me off and felt a lot better after

@CrimeJunkie what a horrible experience for you to go through. So happy you were able to have the private scan for reassurance and to have the experience you should have had. A 20 week scan is one that we all look forward to. Awful that the sonographer was so off with you both. There will be other women who won't be able tl book a private scan and will only have your first experience to go home with. Glad you complained.

@Chickenandgravy i dont know why, but i have a feeling im having a boy. I think i might be a 16 or 17 week scan (to find out) ans then see what is said at the 20 week scan like @Kitt. Ill keep you updated. Im so excited to find out

Also, baby was clearly busy last night. I was ravenous at 5pm for food, had a big bowl of pasta at 6, then felt instantly knackered and went to bed at 8.30. Think i slept over 9 hours (according to my fitbit)!!

I slept with my the big bit of my pregnancy pillow last night and absolutely loved it. Supportive at the back and by the knees.