Pregnancy #33 Sponsored by fart whistles!

[calmyourritas]

A shiny new thread ready for all the babies due imminently!

Who is due in the next few weeks?!

 

[Chrisxo]

Hi guys so I don’t really feel like I have anywhere else to turn being so early on. Some of you know my backstory about my relationship not being the best… I’m 24 in my first year of uni I’m in a relationship with a much older guy.. we separated and got back together in November I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant. I have my own place it’s a small 2 bed council flat not in the best of areas my flat always stinks of grass because of next door. Anyway things are just getting worse with me and my bf and tonight he told me the best thing I could do is terminate the pregnancy…. Of course he comes back saying sorry etc but I’m so unhappy I just feel like I’ve failed all my friends are getting married or in good relationships and that’s what I wanted… I’m really emotional tonight and terrified of potentially doing this alone I’m just feeling so overwhelmed

 

[SnooperTrooper]

Hi guys so I don’t really feel like I have anywhere else to turn being so early on. Some of you know my backstory about my relationship not being the best… I’m 24 in my first year of uni I’m in a relationship with a much older guy.. we separated and got back together in November I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant. I have my own place it’s a small 2 bed council flat not in the best of areas my flat always stinks of grass because of next door. Anyway things are just getting worse with me and my bf and tonight he told me the best thing I could do is terminate the pregnancy…. Of course he comes back saying sorry etc but I’m so unhappy I just feel like I’ve failed all my friends are getting married or in good relationships and that’s what I wanted… I’m really emotional tonight and terrified of potentially doing this alone I’m just feeling so overwhelmed

Doing it alone is scary but very possible. Many people do it alone.
I am going to be honest here and probably harsh and say that you knew your relationship wasn't good but decided to try for a baby anyway after only a couple of months back together. It was always going to be a possibility you'd have to do it alone.
Which I would also argue with your partner that he chose to try for a baby too and can't just decide they don't want the baby at the flick of a switch.
You also chose to try for a baby when you're not happy where you're living or in a great area as you say.
I'm getting a lot of "I want a baby so I'm trying for one" regardless of the situation and in my opinion, you're going to have to stop thinking selfishly.
Your partner also sounds very controlling and seems to upset you a lot.
A baby doesn't need their parents together, they need happy parents.

Sorry its harsh.

 

[Jellybean093]

Hi guys so I don’t really feel like I have anywhere else to turn being so early on. Some of you know my backstory about my relationship not being the best… I’m 24 in my first year of uni I’m in a relationship with a much older guy.. we separated and got back together in November I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant. I have my own place it’s a small 2 bed council flat not in the best of areas my flat always stinks of grass because of next door. Anyway things are just getting worse with me and my bf and tonight he told me the best thing I could do is terminate the pregnancy…. Of course he comes back saying sorry etc but I’m so unhappy I just feel like I’ve failed all my friends are getting married or in good relationships and that’s what I wanted… I’m really emotional tonight and terrified of potentially doing this alone I’m just feeling so overwhelmed

Honestly, sounds like doing it alone is the better option for you
You are not the first, and you will not be the last. Surround yourself with people who love and support you. Speak to your midwives, don’t be afraid to ask for help
I have said to you before he does seem controlling and telling you what to eat and what to do when the baby eventually comes
Please talk to someone. Get some proper support x

 

[calmyourritas]

I agree with what has been written already @Chrisxo based on things you’ve said before, sounds like you need to kick him away and do it yourself mama!!! Definitely speak to your midwife, mine is always asking me if I’m happy and safe at home. They are there to help xx

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Hi guys so I don’t really feel like I have anywhere else to turn being so early on. Some of you know my backstory about my relationship not being the best… I’m 24 in my first year of uni I’m in a relationship with a much older guy.. we separated and got back together in November I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant. I have my own place it’s a small 2 bed council flat not in the best of areas my flat always stinks of grass because of next door. Anyway things are just getting worse with me and my bf and tonight he told me the best thing I could do is terminate the pregnancy…. Of course he comes back saying sorry etc but I’m so unhappy I just feel like I’ve failed all my friends are getting married or in good relationships and that’s what I wanted… I’m really emotional tonight and terrified of potentially doing this alone I’m just feeling so overwhelmed

I've mentioned it before, but please reach out to Women's Aid, they can help.

 

[miamae]

A shiny new thread ready for all the babies due imminently!

Who is due in the next few weeks?!

Due the 29th April but I'm pretty sure he'll be here in the next few weeks, he is sooo far down into my pelvis and I have been having all the same gross symptoms as I did with my second, and he arrived a week later!!

 

[calmyourritas]

I can’t quite believe I can click 30-36 weeks and the next option is ready to POP

 

[WhatABore]

I can’t quite believe I can click 30-36 weeks and the next option is ready to POP

I remember reading your posts on the TTC thread! Time goes so quick!

 

[miamae]

I can’t quite believe I can click 30-36 weeks and the next option is ready to POP

Me neither!! I still remember seeing the positive line and thinking ahhh what have I done and panicking!! Even though he was very much planned and wanted. Now I can't wait to have him here

 

[Daisydunn15]

It's so exciting to move up an option! I thought I'd never get out of the under 12wks, now I'm 24-30!

 

[Nipslips]

Hi guys so I don’t really feel like I have anywhere else to turn being so early on. Some of you know my backstory about my relationship not being the best… I’m 24 in my first year of uni I’m in a relationship with a much older guy.. we separated and got back together in November I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant. I have my own place it’s a small 2 bed council flat not in the best of areas my flat always stinks of grass because of next door. Anyway things are just getting worse with me and my bf and tonight he told me the best thing I could do is terminate the pregnancy…. Of course he comes back saying sorry etc but I’m so unhappy I just feel like I’ve failed all my friends are getting married or in good relationships and that’s what I wanted… I’m really emotional tonight and terrified of potentially doing this alone I’m just feeling so overwhelmed

Hey @Chrisxo, this isn’t about just you any more. You have to step up now and walk away. You don’t need this man. You have a 2 bed apt, who cares where it is once it’s full of love. I absolutely appreciate that this is going to be hard but let me tell you it won’t be any easier dealing with that sad excuse of a bf. Harsh I know but how can you trust a thing that comes out of his mouth when he’s so inconsistent. At your worst he wasn’t there for you. Reach out the friends and family and trust you will be absolutely fine by yourself

 

[Clickbait]

Have my dating scan next week and whilst I feel so fortunate to have reached this point (particularly after a massive scare), I’m starting to panic about the NT test. If you’re an older mother it just feels everything is stacked against you and your age is already a negative factor in how this is scored.

It’s terrifying that the tests that give you a definite result also come with a risk of miscarriage which feels quite high.

I’m really hoping that I have nothing to worry about and we get positive news and I can finally tell a few close friends.

I really envy so many posters in this group who have had such a lighthearted and easy route into pregnancy and during it. Perhaps it just gets less anxious once you pass this hurdle?

 

[Author123]

I really envy so many posters in this group who have had such a lighthearted and easy route into pregnancy and during it. Perhaps it just gets less anxious once you pass this hurdle?

Easier said than done, but try not to envy anyone on this thread- everyone has their own worries and anxieties before and during their own pregnancy journeys, even if it doesn’t necessarily seem like it from the outside. That’s why we are all here sharing our experiences, asking each other for advice and providing reassurance.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Have my dating scan next week and whilst I feel so fortunate to have reached this point (particularly after a massive scare), I’m starting to panic about the NT test. If you’re an older mother it just feels everything is stacked against you and your age is already a negative factor in how this is scored.

It’s terrifying that the tests that give you a definite result also come with a risk of miscarriage which feels quite high.

I’m really hoping that I have nothing to worry about and we get positive news and I can finally tell a few close friends.

I really envy so many posters in this group who have had such a lighthearted and easy route into pregnancy and during it. Perhaps it just gets less anxious once you pass this hurdle?

I know its easier said than done, but try not to worry too much.
I dont think anyone on here has had a lighthearted and easy route to be honest, every pregnancy is so different and everyone has their bassline of what they can cope with. Some have had a horrendous experience others haven't but have found some things harder than others. Like anything, it isn't linear, and what's easy for one isn't for the other.

You're always going to come across hurdles, it's the joys of motherhood all you can do is take it one step at a time & try not to let the anxiety consume you. xx

 

[Clickbait]

I know its easier said than done, but try not to worry too much.
I dont think anyone on here has had a lighthearted and easy route to be honest, every pregnancy is so different and everyone has their bassline of what they can cope with. Some have had a horrendous experience others haven't but have found some things harder than others. Like anything, it isn't linear, and what's easy for one isn't for the other.

You're always going to come across hurdles, it's the joys of motherhood all you can do is take it one step at a time & try not to let the anxiety consume you. xx

They do say comparison is the thief of joy for a reason. Totally valid as you and @Author123 have said that everyone has their own struggles, although these are not always very obvious with some people. And we all experience things through our own lens of circumstances that means we can’t necessarily fathom someone else’s position because it’s so far removed from our own,

I’m sorry if I sounded judgemental about how people choose to post, that wasn’t my intention.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

They do say comparison is the thief of joy for a reason. Totally valid as you and @Author123 have said that everyone has their own struggles, although these are not always very obvious with some people. And we all experience things through our own lens of circumstances that means we can’t necessarily fathom someone else’s position because it’s so far removed from our own,

I’m sorry if I sounded judgemental about how people choose to post, that wasn’t my intention.

I dont think it was judgemental at all! But you can send yourself crazy thinking everyone has it easier than you & it can make your experience totally isolating! This thread is amazing for venting and getting other people's perspectives & experiences.
Pregnancy can be so tough on the body & mind it's so hard to not let it all consume you. Take each stage as it comes x

 

[Megatron1298]

Have my dating scan next week and whilst I feel so fortunate to have reached this point (particularly after a massive scare), I’m starting to panic about the NT test. If you’re an older mother it just feels everything is stacked against you and your age is already a negative factor in how this is scored.

It’s terrifying that the tests that give you a definite result also come with a risk of miscarriage which feels quite high.

I’m really hoping that I have nothing to worry about and we get positive news and I can finally tell a few close friends.

I really envy so many posters in this group who have had such a lighthearted and easy route into pregnancy and during it. Perhaps it just gets less anxious once you pass this hurdle?

And if you can afford it you can have a nipt test which has no risk to the baby and can give you more trusted results than the scan alone

 

[WhatABore]

Have my dating scan next week and whilst I feel so fortunate to have reached this point (particularly after a massive scare), I’m starting to panic about the NT test. If you’re an older mother it just feels everything is stacked against you and your age is already a negative factor in how this is scored.

It’s terrifying that the tests that give you a definite result also come with a risk of miscarriage which feels quite high.

I’m really hoping that I have nothing to worry about and we get positive news and I can finally tell a few close friends.

I really envy so many posters in this group who have had such a lighthearted and easy route into pregnancy and during it. Perhaps it just gets less anxious once you pass this hurdle?

I don't really know anyone who hasn't been anxious throughout pregnancy.
Even more so when scans ect approach.
It's completely natural. But you're only getting a snippet of what someone is saying, usually just in response to someone else or a query they have ect.

I would also say that not many people have an "easy route" into pregnancy.
Yes some people may be lucky if they manage to fall pregnant quickly but also with 1 in 4 pregnancies resulting in miscarriage, that's a lot of people who also have dealt with that too and unless they post about it, you don't know.
I know many on here who don't post about feelings ect, only post happy things, but I also know they've had several miscarriages previously.
I also know many people on here who have been trying for years. But again, as they don't post about it, because they're currently pregnant, you wouldn't know about it if you missed their one post ages ago.

Everyone has their own battles. There are many people who may think you have had an "easy" route compared to them. But as it was said previously, comparing things will do nothing but make you feel bad.

 

[Ss1471]

Brownish discharge in the first trimester, I’m not too worried but should I be? I don’t have any pains and it’s only been a little bit a few times I’ve wiped? Part of me is telling me it’s completely normal but another part is telling me it’s signs of a miscarriage coming.