I was born in 1981 and was smacked loads. In fact I was brought up in a toxic abusive household. I was screamed at by my mum and sometimes my dad. I was smacked by both of them. I was even slapped across the face by my dad once. They weren’t “bad people” they just didn’t have a clue. My mum has definitely got mental health problems and my dad just raised me the way he was. My mum used to say things to me like I’m a piece of tit, I’m a disgrace and I should be ashamed of myself. She was constantly throwing me and my sister out of the house. The mad thing is that I didn’t realise it was abusive. I thought most kids were brought up like this. I have smacked my own kids in the past, sometimes harder than i meant to and I’ve cried my eyes out over it and haven’t done it to them since. I’ve shouted at them loads but I’ve never said the things to them my mum said to me. I know I should have known it was abuse but I genuinely didn’t until I was around 30 and really started to question their parenting. I have arguments with my kids, they’re 18 and 16 now so I obviously don’t hit them or I’d expect to be hit back. I’ve had loads of arguments with them I won’t deny that, I guess I’m trying to say not everyone knows what abuse is, my husbands mother alienated him from his dad when he was a child and he still insists he made the decision himself and refuses to even acknowledge his mother was abusive to him. She also emotionally abused him too and made him do everything in the house, tidy up, her washing, shopping, decorating you name it he had to do it and even now that’s classed as abuse. When he showed emotion to his mother she would say “oh shut up you dick head, now he is emotionally bankrupt. I do try and break the abuse cycle but how can you when your husband won’t even accept he was abused? Like I say some people actually don’t have a clue what abuse is and I think everyone should be taught about it.