Paying off debt support

[Sailorontheseasea]

Your post is so incredibly honest and I will tell you, you are not alone in what you describe. When you say "fulfilling feeling", this is such an important thing.

I had a stage a while back, where I had been a full time carer for a family member who passed away. I began buying bits and pieces for my home (their room was bare, once all their things had gone) and it then carried on and on. Boxes would arrive and I'd feel elated, excited and happy from the purchase. The boxes would be stacked up, ready to open once I had decorated the room. Eventually................ the room was half filled with boxes there wasn't any room to decorate.

I realised I was simply attempting to fill a gap, a loneliness and to try and feel as you describe, more fulfilled. Once I had realised this, I understood that I wasn't really changing anything, I was purely filling my home with items that I almost certainly didn't actually need and while they sat gathering dust, fashions moved on and the items weren't that appealing anymore.

I also had a few months of buying clothing, also trying to feel better about myself (my uniform for almost 9 years had been joggers and t-shirts, because I never went anywhere due to caring). One of my family was having a cross moment one day and blurted out, I don't know why you bother, you never go anywhere - and again, I realised I was simply buying another item to fill that same gap.

It was helpful to find out what my "gap" was, in my case grieving and then to have some support. After that I began clearing away the unnecessary items and used the money from selling some of it (others I gifted away to charity) to clear the cards I had used to buy it all.

I've had one of my waffling on moments there but I thought I'd share as it might resonate with you a little

I totally, totally understand this and thank you for sharing your story.

My “manic” buying started when I gave birth to my eldest, I suffered PND and definitely some sort of post traumatic stress from his birth so kept buying him clothes to kind of plaster over that void I suppose? It’s kind of like some weird fulfilling punishment I.e when you buy things and feel great but also are getting yourself into loads of debt. So crazy how the brain works. Anyway, I’m better now but still have this manic buying problem! Both my mum and Nan have similar traits though and I always joke I get it from them but hope to god I never end up in as much debt! X

 

[jessie1235]

I thought I’d join this thread.

I have a small overdraft and small credit card (under £1000) but I stupidly took out a loan for a close family member and they never pay it so determined to get rid of it as it’s a proper struggle at times. It doesn’t help that I’m on maternity leave.

I have been selling on eBay and that’s been quite helpful. Any other tips are welcome xx

 

[didn't want to join]

I totally, totally understand this and thank you for sharing your story.

My “manic” buying started when I gave birth to my eldest, I suffered PND and definitely some sort of post traumatic stress from his birth so kept buying him clothes to kind of plaster over that void I suppose? It’s kind of like some weird fulfilling punishment I.e when you buy things and feel great but also are getting yourself into loads of debt. So crazy how the brain works. Anyway, I’m better now but still have this manic buying problem! Both my mum and Nan have similar traits though and I always joke I get it from them but hope to god I never end up in as much debt! X

Thank you for sharing yours too, sometimes it helps to pause and consider where the starting point is with things like debt or the actions we have that lead to the debt situation

If we can see a reason, an explanation (not an excuse) then we can also work on how to make a change there.

With the buying, sometimes the "weaning" method can be really helpful. Instead of simply going cold turkey and avoiding shops, don't go on websites looking... all you are doing is making yourself feel anxious, fed up and deflated. The problem is that you then seek that fix of happiness and uplift again and if anything, I found my buying went up a gear

With the weaning method, you can still look around a shop. What you do is leave your credit cards at home. Only take a fixed small amount on your debit card, or cash in a purse and that is your only amount. Set that budget for your week or month and stick to it. When you see a nice top, think ooh trousers, aha nice shoes, oh and that bag - but then remember you don't have extra with you that makes you stop, think and decide what do I actually need versus what do I actually want

Equally, if you are shopping online, set the budget, pop items into your basket (don't look at the total as you go along) then pause when you are finished and go back to the total. Read it and think. If it's way over your budget, then you can see you are simply buying everything and anything, instead of considering again, what is needed versus what is wanted.

Sometimes, if I'm down and deflated and I can feel that thought pattern happening. I put items in a virtual basket online. Then I walk away, go to bed, sleep. Oddly, my brain feels satisfied, happy and calm. The next day the basket often empties itself, if not, then again, I do the budget (if it's already been spent, I empty the basket and remind myself, it's fine, if I really want these things, then I need to keep within my budget or come in under, so I can have a little treat )

This isn't an overnight thing, it does take practice and a little bit of being firm with yourself but if you stick with it, after a while, you find yourself doing that as an automatic default thing, rather than simply buying and not thinking about that. x

 

[chapterthree]

Has anyone had a final reminder from Klarna and not paid? If so, what is the consequence? They said about passing onto debt collection agency but can’t find any information online.

 

[Bubbledoggyyeah]

Has anyone had a final reminder from Klarna and not paid? If so, what is the consequence? They said about passing onto debt collection agency but can’t find any information online.

From the 1st June Klarna will show on your credit report so be careful.

 

[Zulkraa]

Has anyone had a final reminder from Klarna and not paid? If so, what is the consequence? They said about passing onto debt collection agency but can’t find any information online.

Have you contacted them to say that you are struggling (apologies if this is incorrect I’m just assuming) You can discuss this with them and hopefully they will come up with a plan that won’t impact your credit scoring.

Please don’t struggle - talk to them, they will have advisors that will know how to deal with this.
Good luck

How to contact Klarna if you are struggling to pay. – Klarna UK

We recognise that circumstances change, and now more than ever lots of people are experiencing uncertain financial times ahead. Read what your options are if you are struggling, on our blog.

www.klarna.com

 

[Sw_isacult]

Really struggling with my debt. Total of £6500 on credit card & loans from family
I have a full time job take home around £1900-£2000 per month but after bills it doesn't leave me with much and I'm due to go on maternity end of year. I'm trying to hard to pay it off but just feel like there's no way out. I get that overwhelming feeling all the time

 

[havee]

not to give too much info but basically my parents are in debt, but are not dealing with it and have left it to me. my mum doesnt speak english and my dad doesnt handle the stuff. he for some reason does not pay the rent or tax etc as his friends do not pay it and have advised him to pay as well. he is rarley home but all the letters of home possessions and tax libality and courts come to me. most of the rent is payed by benefit due to low income but due to me not going into higher education benefits stopped paying for my share of rent and tax. due to covid being in peak and my social anxiety at it worst i wasnt able to find or look for a job. enforcement agents even had to come to get tax payments and extra pirce was added due to agent coming, my dad payed for it but blamed me for it. now the place that is supposed to be home is at stakes due to court hearing of repossesion, my mum blames me for not finding a job and paying it off and my dad is dismissing it. part of the rent is mine and partly is my dads as he earns a little bit more than recomended living wage so has to pay % of extra wage towards rent. but he is refusing to understand that and is saying all the rent is mine but i dont have anyhting to pay for it. i dont know what to do and incomes team arent really helping, how do i explain my situaton?
I am in need of serous help, enforcement agents came today, im scared what to do.

 

[Pinhead Larry]

Hey, glad to have found this thread! I am sooo drained by my debt but I feel like it is a bit taboo to bring up with friends and family.

Has anyone ever tried the 50/30/20 method? I try to do it every month but it fails before it has even began, because I play catch up on my overspend from the month before.

Mine works out as
Needs - £975 (actual cost of all bills inc petrol is usually around £850)
Wants - £585
Debt - £390 (I need to pay £300 off my credit card until October next year to avoid interest and £100 to a family member until March next year)

I technically have a spare £115 there but here I am on the first of the month with £280 to see me through all my wants, including food shopping for the entire month.
If I can stick within my budget for this month, which even means not buying any more petrol which is hard when it comes to getting to work etc. It should be possible to carry out the method next month. If anyone's tried it pls let me know, or if you have a better method I would love to hear it!

 

[rainbowlemon]

Hey, glad to have found this thread! I am sooo drained by my debt but I feel like it is a bit taboo to bring up with friends and family.

Has anyone ever tried the 50/30/20 method? I try to do it every month but it fails before it has even began, because I play catch up on my overspend from the month before.

Mine works out as
Needs - £975 (actual cost of all bills inc petrol is usually around £850)
Wants - £585
Debt - £390 (I need to pay £300 off my credit card until October next year to avoid interest and £100 to a family member until March next year)

I technically have a spare £115 there but here I am on the first of the month with £280 to see me through all my wants, including food shopping for the entire month.
If I can stick within my budget for this month, which even means not buying any more petrol which is hard when it comes to getting to work etc. It should be possible to carry out the method next month. If anyone's tried it pls let me know, or if you have a better method I would love to hear it!

I think you need to break down your budget and get more specific . food is a need not a want. How much have you allocated for it monthly? What else is in the want category £585- seems rather large to me.

 

[Pinhead Larry]

I think you need to break down your budget and get more specific . food is a need not a want. How much have you allocated for it monthly? What else is in the want category £585- seems rather large to me.

The food situation is a weird one for me! Me and my partner live apart, he is more conveniently located for going out at the weekends so I spend most of my week at his currently. I’ve spent about £2 this week on food to eat at home.
We have a stream of constant plans until probably next year which isn’t helpful. I’ve got better at suggesting cheaper alternatives when we’re out and about too.
I checked my bank and realised I subconsciously paid £670 off credit this month which explains the low amount I’ve been left with. I’ve contacted PayPal and asked them to shut down my PayPal credit because it’s too tempting

 

[PumpkinKing]

Fell off this thread as I lost motivation. I have less money and more things to pay for, just feels never ending. I was still buying things I didn’t need to try make me happy but I’ve given myself a kick up the arse and I’ve listed loads of stuff on Vinted and market place, made £58 in 2 weeks which I’m putting away for Christmas.
I’ve gone back to my spending/budgeting diary so hoping that will keep me in check, just dreading the higher energy prices

Will add up my debt in a bit, see where I’m at, not looking forward to it.

Hope everyone else is doing the best they can and chipping away

 

[PumpkinKing]

Debts are now £6,185 so by the end of this month I will have paid off just over £2000 since I started the thread.
I mean that’s a lot of money but at the same time I just keep thinking how long it’s going to take to clear the rest. Didn’t help that I had to put vet fees and a new phone on my card but what’s done is done.

I have 2 cards and the total minimum payment is £154, I want to try make it £200 so I best get some more stuff sold!

 

[Pinhead Larry]

Debts are now £6,185 so by the end of this month I will have paid off just over £2000 since I started the thread.
I mean that’s a lot of money but at the same time I just keep thinking how long it’s going to take to clear the rest. Didn’t help that I had to put vet fees and a new phone on my card but what’s done is done.

I have 2 cards and the total minimum payment is £154, I want to try make it £200 so I best get some more stuff sold!

You've done basically a quarter in 8 months, congrats that's brilliant! You'll get there!
If you pay it, does the interest add on to that per month or is that the final amount? Hope you don't mind me asking

 

[littlepup]

not to give too much info but basically my parents are in debt, but are not dealing with it and have left it to me. my mum doesnt speak english and my dad doesnt handle the stuff. he for some reason does not pay the rent or tax etc as his friends do not pay it and have advised him to pay as well. he is rarley home but all the letters of home possessions and tax libality and courts come to me. most of the rent is payed by benefit due to low income but due to me not going into higher education benefits stopped paying for my share of rent and tax. due to covid being in peak and my social anxiety at it worst i wasnt able to find or look for a job. enforcement agents even had to come to get tax payments and extra pirce was added due to agent coming, my dad payed for it but blamed me for it. now the place that is supposed to be home is at stakes due to court hearing of repossesion, my mum blames me for not finding a job and paying it off and my dad is dismissing it. part of the rent is mine and partly is my dads as he earns a little bit more than recomended living wage so has to pay % of extra wage towards rent. but he is refusing to understand that and is saying all the rent is mine but i dont have anyhting to pay for it. i dont know what to do and incomes team arent really helping, how do i explain my situaton?
I am in need of serous help, enforcement agents came today, im scared what to do.

This is financial abuse. Did you seek help anywhere?

 

[CrazyGiraffeLady]

Debts are now £6,185 so by the end of this month I will have paid off just over £2000 since I started the thread.
I mean that’s a lot of money but at the same time I just keep thinking how long it’s going to take to clear the rest. Didn’t help that I had to put vet fees and a new phone on my card but what’s done is done.

I have 2 cards and the total minimum payment is £154, I want to try make it £200 so I best get some more stuff sold!

You’ve done so well!

 

[PumpkinKing]

You've done basically a quarter in 8 months, congrats that's brilliant! You'll get there!
If you pay it, does the interest add on to that per month or is that the final amount? Hope you don't mind me asking

Thank you, once energy bills go up even more I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep up with it. At the minute they’re both interest free but one runs out in November

 

[Beansbeans]

I just wanted to dip in and say I had a lot of debt at one point(bills from divorcing abusive ex).

One thing that helped me was flinging "loose change" the debt ... So if my account was at £103.97 (say) I would pay the £0.97 off my debt. Then as I got more confident with my budget I would actually pay the £3.97 in. This just helped chip away and give me a new buzz from seeing the debt amount go down.

I also worked overtime when I could and would fling half of that at the debt (other half generally went on doing something fun with the children).

Good luck. If you're at the point when it is hard to believe you will ever be debt free then just focus on smaller goals (eg. £100 paid off) for now

 

[Thank(space)you]

So I was a bit stupid with my credit card, buying things like takeaways on there because it didn't feel like 'real money'. Some things were necessary, ie my car insurance. I'd been chucking £100ish on my credit card monthly but felt like I could never get it below £2200. I also noticed I was relying on my overdraft a lot.

I've got a budgeting app on my phone (fudget) and I track everything on there. I now put £200-£300 on my credit card a month. Yes every month I am skint, and it can be frustrating when I want to buy things or do things and can't afford it, but my credit card is currently at £1350 and mentally it has given me such a boost to see it go down so much.

I've also got the plum app, which I've saved £45 in 2 months with. I know it's not loads but it is money I can afford to put away as its just a few pounds each week that they take, so although I track it on my budget app, I don't notice it so much because it's not a substantial amount of money.

I've already decided we are having a cheaper Christmas this year. My focus is entirely on getting myself debt free. I know if I carry on as I am, this can be achieved by March next year. At the beginning of this year, I'd aimed to have paid my credit card off by January but if it's 2 months later I'm okay with that.

Junk food, takeaways and alcohol are my downfalls 100%.

One thing that keeps me going is thinking about the extra £200-£300 a month I'm going to have once my credit card is paid off and how much that's going to help with the cost of living crisis

 

[Beansbeans]

If you can do it by March then it is definitely worth throwing everything at it, that's not far off at all!!

Do you have any bits you can sell? I used to sell stuff on local Facebook sites etc and then keep the money from that in a jar (I used it to buy clothes for children - also from the Facebook sites! But it could also be your money for little treats etc )