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Oh how I miss the good old online dating days. Actually had more fun with my friends coming round for a drink and reading all the daft messages I got sent (foot pic requests etc)
One time I was chatting to a ānormalā guy I thought, very polite, seemed to have good banter and we were getting on well. Few days later he messaged me again and began to reveal his true self....asking about sex and kinks (they all go there eventually) He then went on to tell me his ultimate fantasy was putting on some latex gloves and poking about the old bum hole, of his chosen lady, before inviting her to take a tit on his bare chest. I had just randomly checked this message when I was out having a nice lunch with my mum and she thought I had just seen a ghost. I almost choked and then burst out laughing. Not one to judge peopleās kinks but that one is just down right disgusting
One time I was chatting to a ānormalā guy I thought, very polite, seemed to have good banter and we were getting on well. Few days later he messaged me again and began to reveal his true self....asking about sex and kinks (they all go there eventually) He then went on to tell me his ultimate fantasy was putting on some latex gloves and poking about the old bum hole, of his chosen lady, before inviting her to take a tit on his bare chest. I had just randomly checked this message when I was out having a nice lunch with my mum and she thought I had just seen a ghost. I almost choked and then burst out laughing. Not one to judge peopleās kinks but that one is just down right disgusting
he was full of 
Before I met my now fiancĆ©, I was chatting to someone on tinder who would send me abuse if I didnāt reply within 5-10 minutes. How I was a slag and I was speaking to every other boy but him, as you can probably guess, he met the block button not too long after. Imagine my surprise, when I seen his face pop up in the local newspaper the year after, a police mugshot accompanied with a headline of him being jailed for 10 years for rape!!!
OH MY GOD!!!! That's absolutely terrifying!! [emoji33][emoji33][emoji33][emoji33] You can never be too careful these days. Far too many sick f***s out there. I worked in lots of different clubs all across London and the amount of men trying to take advantage of drunk women made me sick to my stomach.
One guy I had been talking to for a while got in a huff with me when he asked if I liked him and I honestly said I didnāt know and I couldnāt know unless I met him in person. He seemed to think it unreasonable that I couldnāt declare my undying love for him without meeting. We didnāt end up meeting!
One guy I met on a number of occasions who refused to admit we were having any sort of relationship because he had a checklist of what he wanted in a girl and I didnāt tick all the boxes (I think he was still hung up on his ex who he dumped because she was larger and had a health scare but didnāt do anything to minimise it happening again which he didnāt like? from what he told me) He also decided I must still have feelings for my ex (projecting much?) when I told him minutes after my ex randomly turning up on my doorstep after work one night with some sweets for me obviously looking for some company, I turned him away obviously.
One guy I was talking to about gigs and I was saying I wanted to go see a band and he said yeah we should go together etc so I told him Iād bought a ticket so he should buy one and come with me. He got annoyed because I hadnāt thought to buy him a ticket when I bought mine (Ā£30, we hadnāt met yet, gig wasnāt sold out) so he refused to (still went on my own, had a great night)
Despite this I still went on a ādateā with him to watch deadpool at the cinema (I really wanted to see the film so thought duck it). I say ādateā because cinema trips donāt really allow for much conversation and he turned up late just before it started. Afterwards he offered to drive me home and took offence when I agreed as long as he understood that I wouldnāt be inviting him in.
Anyway, despite this we were talking about another band that would be good to go to but was sold out so I suggested that we go anyway and see if we could maybe get tickets from a tout out front and if not we could maybe do something else instead. He drove us there so Iām the car I was making suggestions of other things we could do instead and trying to have some banter but he just didnāt seem to be entertaining the idea. When we got there he found a tout who didnāt have any tickets but basically told us to go wait in a nearby pub and he would let us know if he got any. So we went and had some food but he wasnāt great chat tbh and once weād eaten I was trying to say it was pointless hanging around because the tout would likely charge more than I was willing to pay because we were waiting around so maybe we should do something else rather than hang around and be overcharged. We disagreed on this and he pretty much just stopped talking to me and went on his phone. So after about ten minutes of being ignored I googled the next train time home and left. In that time heād already blocked me on pof! He did however send me a picture later of him in the gig with a ticket but didnāt respond when I asked how much he paid for it. It was a quite liberating feeling because I was an hour away from home but rather than staying in an uncomfortable situation for a ride home I just left. First time Iād needed to do it but glad that I could!
But I also met my partner on pof. He messaged me and his was the only profile picture I ever saw that made me actually go āoh! He looks nice!ā Every other one was sort of a ātheyāre alright, have to see what they actually look like in personā. He just looked really nice and genuine and in person he still made my heart skip and I was grinning for days after. Heās just wonderful
One guy I met on a number of occasions who refused to admit we were having any sort of relationship because he had a checklist of what he wanted in a girl and I didnāt tick all the boxes (I think he was still hung up on his ex who he dumped because she was larger and had a health scare but didnāt do anything to minimise it happening again which he didnāt like? from what he told me) He also decided I must still have feelings for my ex (projecting much?) when I told him minutes after my ex randomly turning up on my doorstep after work one night with some sweets for me obviously looking for some company, I turned him away obviously.
One guy I was talking to about gigs and I was saying I wanted to go see a band and he said yeah we should go together etc so I told him Iād bought a ticket so he should buy one and come with me. He got annoyed because I hadnāt thought to buy him a ticket when I bought mine (Ā£30, we hadnāt met yet, gig wasnāt sold out) so he refused to (still went on my own, had a great night)
Despite this I still went on a ādateā with him to watch deadpool at the cinema (I really wanted to see the film so thought duck it). I say ādateā because cinema trips donāt really allow for much conversation and he turned up late just before it started. Afterwards he offered to drive me home and took offence when I agreed as long as he understood that I wouldnāt be inviting him in.
Anyway, despite this we were talking about another band that would be good to go to but was sold out so I suggested that we go anyway and see if we could maybe get tickets from a tout out front and if not we could maybe do something else instead. He drove us there so Iām the car I was making suggestions of other things we could do instead and trying to have some banter but he just didnāt seem to be entertaining the idea. When we got there he found a tout who didnāt have any tickets but basically told us to go wait in a nearby pub and he would let us know if he got any. So we went and had some food but he wasnāt great chat tbh and once weād eaten I was trying to say it was pointless hanging around because the tout would likely charge more than I was willing to pay because we were waiting around so maybe we should do something else rather than hang around and be overcharged. We disagreed on this and he pretty much just stopped talking to me and went on his phone. So after about ten minutes of being ignored I googled the next train time home and left. In that time heād already blocked me on pof! He did however send me a picture later of him in the gig with a ticket but didnāt respond when I asked how much he paid for it. It was a quite liberating feeling because I was an hour away from home but rather than staying in an uncomfortable situation for a ride home I just left. First time Iād needed to do it but glad that I could!
But I also met my partner on pof. He messaged me and his was the only profile picture I ever saw that made me actually go āoh! He looks nice!ā Every other one was sort of a ātheyāre alright, have to see what they actually look like in personā. He just looked really nice and genuine and in person he still made my heart skip and I was grinning for days after. Heās just wonderful
point him in the direction of a few instagrammers we know of ...they'd love thatThis is a new one for me...
When all seems normal then he announces all he wants to do is make you fat
No bleeping chance pal it took me a year to get back into topshop jeans, I ain't giving it all up to so you can jack off to my muffin top.
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He said you had a fat head???One blokes teeth kept falling out as he spoke and just spent the whole time slagging his ex off. When I got up to leave, he did actually say to me there wonāt be a second date will there?
One bloke after two dates ranted at me that I was incredibly selfish for not wanting more children and when I said I didnāt want to see him again told me I had a fat head and his ex thought so too.
Wow thanks.... putting a licking emoji just makes the compliment extra special 
[emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787] Small talk is so 2010! [emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787]Wow thanks.... putting a licking emoji just makes the compliment extra special
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What does he expect back? Oh thanks hereās a Pic of my nipple?! twitWow thanks.... putting a licking emoji just makes the compliment extra special
View attachment 37219
This is a wonderful thread! And there are so many familiar sounding men and situations!
I went on a date with a guy who had constantly messaged me wanting to meet. My instincts said no but he had worn me down and I agreed to meet him for coffee one afternoon. Being safety conscious, I told my best friend what I was doing and promised to let her know how the meet up went.
We met and my instinct had been right. He was a tool and his shoes were just horrible. (Me, shallow? Hell, yeah!) He chuntered on for ages about his charity work, how he took care of his parents while his brother ignored them, how his ex wife had swindled him out of his house, yawn yawn. Anyhow, he went off to have a pee and I texted my friend telling her how awful he was and I was making my escape ASAP.
We left the cafĆ©, I made my excuses and high-tailed it to my car. Hours later I checked my phone to see if my friend had texted me back. Iād only sent the derogatory text to him, ffs!
I went on a date with a guy who had constantly messaged me wanting to meet. My instincts said no but he had worn me down and I agreed to meet him for coffee one afternoon. Being safety conscious, I told my best friend what I was doing and promised to let her know how the meet up went.
We met and my instinct had been right. He was a tool and his shoes were just horrible. (Me, shallow? Hell, yeah!) He chuntered on for ages about his charity work, how he took care of his parents while his brother ignored them, how his ex wife had swindled him out of his house, yawn yawn. Anyhow, he went off to have a pee and I texted my friend telling her how awful he was and I was making my escape ASAP.
We left the cafĆ©, I made my excuses and high-tailed it to my car. Hours later I checked my phone to see if my friend had texted me back. Iād only sent the derogatory text to him, ffs!
OH MY GOD!!!!! I hate when that happens, it's the worst!!! Good thing you didn't want to see him again anyways ! [emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787]
Well it works for Jeremy MeeksWhen your a model and also ex-con
I signed up to online dating just the once, and not because I was looking for anyone. I was working with a vulnerable patient who had arranged to meet a couple of men she'd met online (separately, not together). I created a fake account so I could take a look at their profiles just to reassure myself they weren't mad axe murderers.
As it was a fake account just for nosing purposes I put basic info about 'myself', made myself sound as boring and unattractive as possible and didn't upload a picture. Within 15 minutes of signing up I'd received 9 messages; 2 of those messages were from the men she was supposed to be meeting! How bleeping desperate do these blokes have to be to message someone with virtually no info and no profile pic. <-- rhetorical question.
I'm on a few local Facebook groups and posted in a thread about recycling. Shortly afterwards I got a DM from some bloke in the group asking if I wanted to go dogging with him. WTF? That escalated quickly
When I was 22 I had a (very) rich older man ask me to be his mistress. I would get my own flat in London, all bills paid and Ā£2,000 a month to spend on myself. When I politely refused he started crying
Damn, you should've accepted the offer!!! I've always had a thing for older men, so if that happened to me, I would've totally accepted it! Unless he was repulsive! [emoji1787][emoji1787] The crying was a bit much though. [emoji51][emoji51]Well it works for Jeremy Meeks [emoji2368]
I signed up to online dating just the once, and not because I was looking for anyone. I was working with a vulnerable patient who had arranged to meet a couple of men she'd met online (separately, not together). I created a fake account so I could take a look at their profiles just to reassure myself they weren't mad axe murderers.
As it was a fake account just for nosing purposes I put basic info about 'myself', made myself sound as boring and unattractive as possible and didn't upload a picture. Within 15 minutes of signing up I'd received 9 messages; 2 of those messages were from the men she was supposed to be meeting! How bleeping desperate do these blokes have to be to message someone with virtually no info and no profile pic.
I'm on a few local Facebook groups and posted in a thread about recycling. Shortly afterwards I got a DM from some bloke in the group asking if I wanted to go dogging with him. WTF? That escalated quickly
When I was 22 I had a (very) rich older man ask me to be his mistress. I would get my own flat in London, all bills paid and Ā£2,000 a month to spend on myself. When I politely refused he started crying [emoji51]
I think someone needs to look a dictionary at the meaning of location and profession...
Unless there is a town called peter and he is the local professional gigolo....
Unless there is a town called peter and he is the local professional gigolo....
He was about 5'3 (I'm 5'9) and quite flabby, he also had a strangely squeaky voice and I'm pretty sure he wore a wig. I'd have had to be comatose to sleep with him.
I suspect it was the first time the rich little hobbit had been turned down, hence the tears.
OH MY GOD. What an idiot!! [emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787] And who said romance is dead?? [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Oh dear, then you definitely made the right decision!! [emoji51][emoji51][emoji51]
This is more what I had in mind when thinking of a sugar daddy. [emoji23][emoji23]
