One Day of Winter #3 Queen Raven still ruling the roost.... even the Pea has reproduced.

[Cat_scratches]

I've got an infection in my womb at the moment, I'm on quite strong antibiotics, exhausted and feel shite tbh.
My daughter has basically been fending for herself today whilst I tried to rest and husband worked.
TV, play dough, cuddles and a long bath for her to play in, cheese strings and biscuits
It drives me insane that she acts like you're a bad parent if you dare to look after yourself.

 

[Hollyxx]

Im so tired and been up since 4am.... continues to teach 3 year old gcse work . I can guarantee most people watch her stories and think the same... just chill pea, relax, you don’t need to show everyone your child doing school work and water play etc.

 

[Theplantmum]

I've got an infection in my womb at the moment, I'm on quite strong antibiotics, exhausted and feel shite tbh.
My daughter has basically been fending for herself today whilst I tried to rest and husband worked.
TV, play dough, cuddles and a long bath for her to play in, cheese strings and biscuits
It drives me insane that she acts like you're a bad parent if you dare to look after yourself.

Hope you get better soon xxxxxxxxx

 

[Bex1504]

I noticed she shared the Sarah Oakwell link too about older siblings so presume Raven isn't coping well with new baby. Massive surprise!

 

[SilverSpoonNotIncluded]

Im so tired and been up since 4am.... continues to teach 3 year old gcse work . I can guarantee most people watch her stories and think the same... just chill pea, relax, you don’t need to show everyone your child doing school work and water play etc.

Precisely. Put her in nursery an extra day, or send her and Dean out for a massive walk!

 

[rosalierae]

Oh my GOD I’ve wanted this thread for SO SO LONG - going straight to number 1 to catch up

So my main beef with this account is like what most others have said- I arrive really hard to be a ‘gentle parent’ myself, still breastfeed a child over 1, bed share etc etc. The thing is a) I don’t need to tell the world I do these things on a public Instagram, because the way I parent isn’t the concern of anyone else and also, it’s BORING for others to read and b) a MASSIVE part of gentle parenting is BOUNDARIES and finding alternative ways to prepare your child for the world in ways that take their development, mental health and emotional wellbeing into account, while also teaching them about autonomy and being a well rounded and helpful person. It is NOT about letting them do what the duck they want with no regard for anyone else or anyone’s possessions. It makes me laugh that on her public insta she portrays herself as some wise parenting guru but privately on a closed gentle parenting fb group and extended bf she is there asking the most basic of questions. Then she will present to the world that she has all the answers. She’s been so smug because she works duck all hours and had one single child who was practically a baby. Can’t wait to see how having 2 is going to smash her tranquil perfect parenting world

 

[Hollyxx]

her parenting comes from a massive place of privilege. She often comes across as judgey to....for example mothers who send their kids to nursery full time early on etc. But lots of mothers don't have this choice, my friend had to go back to work when her child was 6 weeks old because her partner left her with 2 kids and a mortgage to pay, she couldn't survive on maternity pay so back to work she went. She is a fantastic and gentle mother. Pea's life speaks volumes in privilege, she seems to even when she was working hardly work at all, barely part time. When she was working her family took care of R. Not many mothers have extended family to pass on childcare to. i certainly don't as they all work 9-5 themselves to bring in money to pay bills.

It seems she often refers to 'how she was bought up and the trauma' but her family is lovely, i know her family!! Her mum is the sweetest kindest person, she doesn't really know how easy she has it and how hard she has placed these made up values on herself and never references her privilege.

all these posts about R not wanting to go in the carseat and her taking an hour and the boob and gently getting in the car seat etc...privilage. If you have a job to pay bills to buy clothes for your child, you can't take an hour gently talking to your child about getting in the car seat, you say, you have to get in the car seat because we will be late. a natural consequence of me being an hour late to work every day because i can't tell my kid they have to do something is i lose my job and we go on benefits and can't make our mortgage payments and lose the cars. Privilege ha ha

 

[Just.being.nosey]

Oh my GOD I’ve wanted this thread for SO SO LONG - going straight to number 1 to catch up

So my main beef with this account is like what most others have said- I arrive really hard to be a ‘gentle parent’ myself, still breastfeed a child over 1, bed share etc etc. The thing is a) I don’t need to tell the world I do these things on a public Instagram, because the way I parent isn’t the concern of anyone else and also, it’s BORING for others to read and b) a MASSIVE part of gentle parenting is BOUNDARIES and finding alternative ways to prepare your child for the world in ways that take their development, mental health and emotional wellbeing into account, while also teaching them about autonomy and being a well rounded and helpful person. It is NOT about letting them do what the duck they want with no regard for anyone else or anyone’s possessions. It makes me laugh that on her public insta she portrays herself as some wise parenting guru but privately on a closed gentle parenting fb group and extended bf she is there asking the most basic of questions. Then she will present to the world that she has all the answers. She’s been so smug because she works duck all hours and had one single child who was practically a baby. Can’t wait to see how having 2 is going to smash her tranquil perfect parenting world

I used to really like this account but I agree with everything you've just said!!
My daughter was breastfed until 3.5, we didn’t co sleep but I like to think my parenting was of the gentle approach.... but she knows there are rules. Unless you were close to me you wouldn’t know she was breastfed for that long .. there isn’t a need for people to know. I’m not ashamed of it but at the same time I wouldn’t share everytime she drinks from a cup to social media so why share the breastfeeding ??

 

[Cubalibra]

What im confused about is how do they afford R’s nursery? Im pretty sure its private?

 

[SilverSpoonNotIncluded]

What im confused about is how do they afford R’s nursery? Im pretty sure its private?

She’s over 3 so they’ll get some funded hours. She isn’t in loads so if they have to pay on top I doubt it’s much?

 

[BethanyGilbert]

Private nurserys have spaces for 30 free hours for 3 year olds. A private nursery isn't the same as a private school. It just means it is a business and not maintained by an attached school.

 

[Hollyxx]

i know which school it is, my friends kid goes there and she sees Nicola, if they stay on for the private schooling after preschool funded hours its £45/£50 a day for the kids who do it flexi and homeschool. My friend pays £45 a day for 3 days a week and homeschools the other days.

but it has funded hours for the preschool

 

[rosalierae]

Pea makes me really dislike Raven. I know how ridiculous that sounds, I do. But I look at Raven and am just repulsed by this brat of a child. She even looks spiteful. And it isn't just Peas fault, it's everyone who doesn't say a word about it - Dean, friends, family...
She's so eager to detach from Ember but can't even comprehend the idea of being away from Raven. The night she had Ember, grandma had to sleep in their rancid sleep space. A normal set up would be for Raven to have slept at grandma's - or is that just me? She's made such a show of breastfeeding Raven for all this time but already wants to wean Ember at what, a week old? She just doesn't seem to love the new baby even half as much as Raven, she's presenting Ember like an inconvenience. Urgh she was crying downstairs. How dare she be hungry for Raven's milk? Oh FFS, she woke Raven, let's foist her off on Dean. She should be bleeping ashamed. And I don't think it's all about grief at all, she was joined at the hip with Raven from day one and I would've thought the first baby after loss would be the hardest to bond with?

Correct me on anything I'm ignorant to because I've not experienced loss, I have one child, I'm not crunchy etc. Just saying what I see. And that is that Nicola is a prick and Dean is the biggest wet wipe there is, Raven is a little tit and Ember is all but neglected right now.

I do get some of the Emperor Raven obsession because she’s obv trying to soften the blow to Raven at having such a massive adjustment such as a new baby in the family. But did she do absolutely fuckall to get raven prepared before the baby was born? Like anticipate that Raven would have to stay overnight when she went to hospital, raven would have to get used to being without Nicola and have to share her because Raven isn’t the only person in the world, or their household. She doesn’t want raven to resent the new baby esp with the breastfeeding etc but she could have prepared her so much better. Also I totally get what you mean about raven, if it’s wrong to judge a strangers child on the Internet based on the level of twattery of its parent, I don’t want to be right
(I feel the same way about mrs hinch’s brat as well with his mullet)

 

[Me&My]

What im confused about is how do they afford R’s nursery? Im pretty sure its private?

If one of you works full time you get 15 hours free a week if both work full time you get 30 hours free. I presume Pea would get 15 hours and maybe pay the rest? Although this is only term time if she goes through the holidays she’d have to pay.

 

[Just.being.nosey]

If one of you works full time you get 15 hours free a week if both work full time you get 30 hours free. I presume Pea would get 15 hours and maybe pay the rest? Although this is only term time if she goes through the holidays she’d have to pay.

Everyone gets the 15 hours the term after the child is 3 whether you work or not x

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

her parenting comes from a massive place of privilege. She often comes across as judgey to....for example mothers who send their kids to nursery full time early on etc. But lots of mothers don't have this choice, my friend had to go back to work when her child was 6 weeks old because her partner left her with 2 kids and a mortgage to pay, she couldn't survive on maternity pay so back to work she went. She is a fantastic and gentle mother. Pea's life speaks volumes in privilege, she seems to even when she was working hardly work at all, barely part time. When she was working her family took care of R. Not many mothers have extended family to pass on childcare to. i certainly don't as they all work 9-5 themselves to bring in money to pay bills.

It seems she often refers to 'how she was bought up and the trauma' but her family is lovely, i know her family!! Her mum is the sweetest kindest person, she doesn't really know how easy she has it and how hard she has placed these made up values on herself and never references her privilege.

all these posts about R not wanting to go in the carseat and her taking an hour and the boob and gently getting in the car seat etc...privilage. If you have a job to pay bills to buy clothes for your child, you can't take an hour gently talking to your child about getting in the car seat, you say, you have to get in the car seat because we will be late. a natural consequence of me being an hour late to work every day because i can't tell my kid they have to do something is i lose my job and we go on benefits and can't make our mortgage payments and lose the cars. Privilege ha ha

You've hit the nail on the head here. She has access to a lot of things other parents don't, and if she took her head out of her arse for 5 minutes she might actually realise that her attitude towards other people's parenting methods is out of order, because she doesn't have to live their life.

I'm sure a lot of us would love to work half an hour a week and spend the rest of the time chilling round the house with our kids, but like you say, bills, mortgage, life, etc.

Personally, I'm very lucky that my parents are now both retired, and if they had the chance would probably move my kid into their house. However, I don't judge others who don't have this option, because I'm aware that I'm in the very lucky minority, and that other people's situations are different.

I do judge the silly arse who thinks her kid being "hitty" is because of the nursery she sends her to, rather than the lack of boundaries the poor kid has been set at home.

 

[Hollyxx]

There is raising your child gently and then there’s just raising them to not be able to deal with the world around them. If Pea wanted to live on a hippy commune like she previously mentioned it would actually go against how she parents now. As other mothers would actually look after R and E while she rested. The whole point of a commune is that it takes a village to raise a child. She can’t even hand hers over to her own husband and family for a night with grandma. On communes other mums feed your kid and co sleep while you get some much needed rest. I really think she doesn’t really understand what her parenting choice is.
I don’t know her personally but I’ve seen her around, I live in the same city, my mum kind of knows her mum, I used to see her working in topshop years ago etc. I think she just wants to be different from everyone else

 

[TheLastLolo]

There is raising your child gently and then there’s just raising them to not be able to deal with the world around them. If Pea wanted to live on a hippy commune like she previously mentioned it would actually go against how she parents now. As other mothers would actually look after R and E while she rested. The whole point of a commune is that it takes a village to raise a child. She can’t even hand hers over to her own husband and family for a night with grandma. On communes other mums feed your kid and co sleep while you get some much needed rest. I really think she doesn’t really understand what her parenting choice is.
I don’t know her personally but I’ve seen her around, I live in the same city, my mum kind of knows her mum, I used to see her working in topshop years ago etc. I think she just wants to be different from everyone else

Why does her version of being different translate as 'must be a humongous twit that no one can relate to'?
I think I'm different to a lot of parents. Do I pride myself on that? Not really, it's just how it's gone for us and we're happy. It's not an active, daily choice to be soooo outside the box so I can lord it over others. We're all just finding our way, aren't we? Parenting is hard. Even on the easy, smooth days it's hard. I don't know why she destroys herself daily, because Raven seems no 'smarter' than my son and I don't do the parts of a flower with him whilst nursing a newborn and suffering from mastitis. And Raven definitely isn't as polite or well rounded but I can't take all the credit for that either because he's well socialized, spends time with family, goes to nursery and is told no/taught to be independent. I don't understand her. Sometimes I feel sorry for her but mostly she just annoys me. She is killing herself and for what? Her husband is nowhere to be seen because he's seemingly being pushed out by her rude, spoilt brat of a 3.5 year old who's never heard a 'negative' word and she's absolutely exhausted to the point she looks 10 years older than she is, easily, and is crying out for help almost against her own will because we all know she won't take it when it's offered.
I do wonder what her relationships with her/dean's family are like because I'd like to think if my family saw me in the state she's often in, they'd step in whether I agreed or not.

 

[Hollyxx]

she probably sees the instagram following as her achievement in life, as mush as she wouldn't admit it she does love the adoration. Whereas most influencers own it she tries to be 'different' again. I feel so sorry for her i really do about winter and what happened, i was reading a magazine in hospital in derby and they had an article in it about him and i felt for her so badly. I am not taking that away from her.

 

[EmilyChambers]

What im confused about is how do they afford R’s nursery? Im pretty sure its private?

She will get 15 hours funded so probably only goes for those 15 hours. That will be term time only though