One Day of Winter #2 Slop for dinner, nips on tap, Dads not allowed to help with naps!

[FraggleRock]

Does anyone else think that she sounded really pissed off last night that Raven decided herself that she wanted a typical bedtime routine? I thought these crunchy parents let their child take the lead and they allowed them to do what they want, well Raven has done that and she’s blatantly annoyed . You can tell by the way she says Raven might have picked this up from talking to other children and TV

Wow Pea’s latest story, even Raven’s crying out for ‘routine’ poor kid has had to teach it herself. How can you be ‘too lazy’ to put your child to bed when you don’t even work 1 hour a week!? Just bath your child, stick her in some fresh PJ’s and put her to bed with a story? Its obviously what she wants!
Because its not pea’s way she doesn’t like it.

She’s ridiculous, all she does is sit on her grotty sofa all day in her dressing gown doing insta stories, she makes out doing anything else is just far too much effort. It genuinely makes me laugh that she’s spent so much time in the past trying to do fun,exciting educational activities with Raven, and boasting about how many activities kids have, when now Raven gets plonked in front of the TV watching Peppa all day, so Pea can sit on her arse. Then she has the nerve to complain about Dean working long hours - that’s because he’s at work, earning money so you can sit online all day and preach about what an amazing parent you are! Cannot bloody stand this woman

 

[Me&My]

Does anyone else think that she sounded really pissed off last night that Raven decided herself that she wanted a typical bedtime routine? I thought these crunchy parents let their child take the lead and they allowed them to do what they want, well Raven has done that and she’s blatantly annoyed . You can tell by the way she says Raven might have picked this up from talking to other children and TV



She’s ridiculous, all she does is sit on her grotty sofa all day in her dressing gown doing insta stories, she makes out doing anything else is just far too much effort. It genuinely makes me laugh that she’s spent so much time in the past trying to do fun,exciting educational activities with Raven, and boasting about how many activities kids have, when now Raven gets plonked in front of the TV watching Peppa all day, so Pea can sit on her arse. Then she has the nerve to complain about Dean working long hours - that’s because he’s at work, earning money so you can sit online all day and preach about what an amazing parent you are! Cannot bloody stand this woman

She definitely sounded pissed off that Raven wanted a ‘traditional bedtime’ no pea she wants some structure and routine in her life! God help the child who actually wants some sort of routine for once.
When I have a day off and I sit on my arse all day (which is VERY rare) I’m always tired and have no energy for anything because it is draining doing nothing! I find it more tiring than working a full shift at work collecting my child tea bath bed then cooking tea for me and my husband. I think Pea needs more in her life other than social media, she’s drained, negative, messy and un proactive. It’s almost like she’s living the role of a ‘traditional stay at home mum‘ but not actually doing any cooking or cleaning apart from slop? Maybe if her food had more substance she might have more energy?
I think her family tiptoe around her with Ray because what happened to Winter, if it hadn’t of tragically happened and Ray was her first would her family pull her up on her upbringing? I think in all honestly Pea needs constant help and counselling, its not healthy for any of them how lazy she is. I know she’ll never get over Winters death how ever could you, but Rays upbringing is now being sacrificed because of Pea’s constant negativity.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

I agree 100% about her being annoyed. She often comes across that way when Raven's behaviour veers away from what Pea expects. You'd think with another baby on the way she'd be glad Raven was showing a bit of independence. How does she expect to be able to play with Raven till midnight, then feed her to sleep on the sofa before transferring her to the "sleep space", all while trying to tend to a newborn, and all this on her own because Dean is working every hour God sends?

 

[maytoseptember]

Does anyone else think that she sounded really pissed off last night that Raven decided herself that she wanted a typical bedtime routine?

She sounded confused, like why would my child want to do something so traditional as go upstairs to bed and wear pyjamas? Isn’t that what boring, average people do? Who even told her that people DO that? Did she get the idea from nursery or TV?

It was pretty funny.

 

[justfortonight]

I think in regards to people saying Nicola is lazy - to me that is a huge red flag for depression.

Unless she’s really talking it up for the gram and putting the tv on to appear relatable, and in reality is a lot more motivated, I think she could be really struggling.

I have depression and before I took medication I would stay at home for days on end with my kids because the thought of leaving the house was just too much. Same goes for raven not wearing pyjamas etc, if Nicola is really that tired that she can’t manage dressing her child for bed, I think she needs to go to the doctors and ask for help.

It’s hardly surprising if she is suffering with depression given all she’s been through, but I do remember years ago (god knows how!) her posting that a family member had suggested anti-depressants and she was dead against it, so

I don’t know if that’s to do with Buddhism/crunchy parenting that they kind of steer away from western medicine.

But yeah, just my opinion!

 

[tippingpoint]

I actually came here to say I’m worried she’s suffering with depression and hope she gets the help she needs pre and post baby if that’s the case.

Poor Raven though. She’s crying out for a routine so much she had to bloody ask for it! I’m on maternity leave and yeah there’s technically “nothing to get up for” but I get her up 8am every day (sorrrrrrry parents of poor sleepers I’m really sorry it just happened and I know the next one will be an absolute BASTARD) so we aren’t out of sync for the rest of the day. I’m still a person too, I need my own routine! While I’m not strict with it I feel it’s a good thing to do.

Actually really bugged me how she was all “yeah traditional bedtime”. Some things are just bleeping NORMAL AND HEALTHY AND EXPECTED, NICOLA. Honestly Raven could have spent her toddlerhood doing forward rolls to get everywhere and she would be like “Yeah so it’s not traditional walking but it doesn’t have to be”

 

[Cat_scratches]

I just don't get what's wrong with a 'bedtime' what's wrong with fresh pj's, a story and bed?
Kids need sleep, they need some structure and predictability.
It doesn't make her look good, it just makes her look like a twit.
Literally putting your kid to bed dirty, in dirty clothes? As someone mentioned above, if it wasn't a crunchy middle class parent it would be labelled as borderline neglect.

 

[Me&My]

I think in regards to people saying Nicola is lazy - to me that is a huge red flag for depression.

Unless she’s really talking it up for the gram and putting the tv on to appear relatable, and in reality is a lot more motivated, I think she could be really struggling.

I have depression and before I took medication I would stay at home for days on end with my kids because the thought of leaving the house was just too much. Same goes for raven not wearing pyjamas etc, if Nicola is really that tired that she can’t manage dressing her child for bed, I think she needs to go to the doctors and ask for help.

It’s hardly surprising if she is suffering with depression given all she’s been through, but I do remember years ago (god knows how!) her posting that a family member had suggested anti-depressants and she was dead against it, so

I don’t know if that’s to do with Buddhism/crunchy parenting that they kind of steer away from western medicine.

But yeah, just my opinion!

I totally agree I think she’s depressed but oblivious to the fact she is. She really does need some form of help, for her own sake, Ravens and her relationship with Dean. Yet along bringing another baby into the mix her hormones are going to be all over the place! She won’t get the help though.

 

[justfortonight]

I totally agree I think she’s depressed but oblivious to the fact she is. She really does need some form of help, for her own sake, Ravens and her relationship with Dean. Yet along bringing another baby into the mix her hormones are going to be all over the place! She won’t get the help though.

What stops her getting help, do you think? I can’t put my finger on why she wouldn’t but I do agree with you.

 

[Me&My]

What stops her getting help, do you think? I can’t put my finger on why she wouldn’t but I do agree with you.

Because its the ‘normal’ way to get help see your doctor, she won’t do that she won’t havd anybody tell her how to ‘live her life’ in her eyes. Her family are clearly scared to say anything against her in fear of her pushing them away. The only person who could probably try is Dean however he’s probably depressed too living a mundane life working all hours godsend to provide for his family. It’ll of rubbed off onto him. Notice how neither of them have many ‘friends’ like neither go out on their own with their friends?

 

[maytoseptember]

I agree she could be depressed. I certainly spent years with a young child, a SAHM, very little structure to my days and it was bloody lonely.

What stops her getting help, do you think? I can’t put my finger on why she wouldn’t but I do agree with you.

I think it’s because her crunchiness feeds her misery. The thing about crunchies is they love being martyrs. They compete with each other to be the most exhausted, to have breastfed the longest, to give up everything of themselves because that means they really love their kid.

If she admitted that she was depressed then she would have to admit that being attached to her child (literally) 24/7 for 3 years has sapped all her energy, vitality and zest for life.

 

[justfortonight]

I agree she could be depressed. I certainly spent years with a young child, a SAHM, very little structure to my days and it was bloody lonely.



I think it’s because her crunchiness feeds her misery. The thing about crunchies is they love being martyrs. They compete with each other to be the most exhausted, to have breastfed the longest, to give up everything of themselves because that means they really love their kid.

If she admitted that she was depressed then she would have to admit that being attached to her child (literally) 24/7 for 3 years has sapped all her energy, vitality and zest for life.

Yeah I get what you mean. It would be like turning her back on everything she’s preached for years.

I just feel like it’s bound to happen if you’re living like that though, that type of life would make a nun miserable!

 

[erin182]

Imagine if the new baby sleeps through the night from 3 months. Pea would tit herself

 

[TheLastLolo]

I think she daren't be depressed because she feels like she has to be happy that she now almost has two healthy children. I think she feels like it would be disrespectful almost to be depressed now that she has what she's always wanted. Am I making sense? As if she couldn't possibly be more depressed than when Winter died because that would sully his memory so everything else had to be manageable. I know what I mean.

 

[justfortonight]

I think she daren't be depressed because she feels like she has to be happy that she now almost has two healthy children. I think she feels like it would be disrespectful almost to be depressed now that she has what she's always wanted. Am I making sense? As if she couldn't possibly be more depressed than when Winter died because that would sully his memory so everything else had to be manageable. I know what I mean.

Yes I totally get what you mean. I do really feel for her, it’s hard enough having depression in normal circumstances, let alone with all that to contend with.

Being nosy but does anyone know if she’s had grief counselling?

 

[BethanyGilbert]

I think she daren't be depressed because she feels like she has to be happy that she now almost has two healthy children. I think she feels like it would be disrespectful almost to be depressed now that she has what she's always wanted. Am I making sense? As if she couldn't possibly be more depressed than when Winter died because that would sully his memory so everything else had to be manageable. I know what I mean.

I understand what you mean and agree.
I wonder if she also feels like she can’t be depressed (or admit it) because she has R and in her mind that should be “enough” and she feels like she can’t not be happy. As if having R should cancel out the pain and how can she be depressed when she finally has R and another baby on the way.

 

[SarcasticEllis]

Isn’t it funny: if a working class single mum, living in poverty, deprived background etc parented like that, it would be seen as borderline neglectful. But when it gets co-opted by more educated, more middle class women, it’s a sign of how you’re totally child-led and completely devoted to their needs

There are honestly two villages up the road from me where they say ‘in xx, if a kid is barefoot Child Protection get called, in yy it’s a lifestyle choice”

I understand what you mean and agree.
I wonder if she also feels like she can’t be depressed (or admit it) because she has R and in her mind that should be “enough” and she feels like she can’t not be happy. As if having R should cancel out the pain and how can she be depressed when she finally has R and another baby on the way.

Yes sadly, it’s the need to feel gratitude regardless of its cost.
With her experience with Winter (where of course her writing was cathartic and helpful to her mental health in the short term, but the ongoing need to feed the Instagram account with long, carefully chosen words about her loss means it’s mentally and physically exhausting to keep this up) plus the ‘gentle’ yet quite combative and defensive parenting style she’s adopted, it’s like she’s built a wall around herself. I do feel for her but she has to accept help - maybe with the new baby to look after she’ll need to scale back.

 

[Me&My]

There are honestly two villages up the road from me where they say ‘in xx, if a kid is barefoot Child Protection get called, in yy it’s a lifestyle choice”



Yes sadly, it’s the need to feel gratitude regardless of its cost.
With her experience with Winter (where of course her writing was cathartic and helpful to her mental health in the short term, but the ongoing need to feed the Instagram account with long, carefully chosen words about her loss means it’s mentally and physically exhausting to keep this up) plus the ‘gentle’ yet quite combative and defensive parenting style she’s adopted, it’s like she’s built a wall around herself. I do feel for her but she has to accept help - maybe with the new baby to look after she’ll need to scale back.

Yes I agree!
The thing is with Instagram its making a lot of people lonely and depressed because their followers are their only ‘friends’ so they feel they have to keep up this image of posting mundane stories just for a conversation with someone, because it’s probably the only conversation they will have all day apart from with a child.

 

[TheLastLolo]

I understand what you mean and agree.
I wonder if she also feels like she can’t be depressed (or admit it) because she has R and in her mind that should be “enough” and she feels like she can’t not be happy. As if having R should cancel out the pain and how can she be depressed when she finally has R and another baby on the way.

You said it better than me! This is what I meant!

 

[TheLastLolo]

Gotta post those pics with hand firmly on the top of her bump in case anyone forgets she's pregnant!!