Odd Neighbours / Neighbour Problems #2

[50sGirl]

Been a while since I’ve ranted on here..

I feel like I’m at breaking point now and am seriously considering asking family if I can move back home and sell my flat. I was sent home from work today due to laryngitis, I managed to get a few hours sleep but my downstairs neighbours have been having a party since around lunchtime. Music blasting in the living room with an extra speaker out the back so it’s echoing all throughout the building. Kids paddling pool full of beer cans and cigarettes. Doesn’t sound like it’s going to end any time soon and I can’t even call the non emergency police line as I literally have no voice at all.

It’s been almost 3 years of hell. I think it’s time to admit defeat. It’s time to acknowledge just how depressed I am living here. I can’t afford to sell and buy anywhere new as I stupidly took out loans to help with renovation costs and with the current cost of living going up I’m only just getting by. I’m due a little bit of a pay rise this year but not enough to make a difference. If I sell and move back home I’d be cutting my outgoings significantly and could pay off debts quicker and be able to save money to put towards somewhere new.

I don’t really want to be 30 and moving back home but it seems like my only option.

I am so sorry to hear this. If it is compromising your mental health you need to make the jump and sell IMO.

I agree.
There is no shame in moving back home.
Things aren’t going to improve there so cut your losses and sell up.
Life is too short to be unhappy, especially in your own home - your home should be your sanctuary not a place to be endured.
I do understand. At our last home we had a dreadful neighbour. I didn’t realise how much it had affected me mentally until we returned home from a holiday. The second we pulled onto our driveway I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. It shocked me. My safe place became a place I didn’t want to be.
We sold up. Once we moved several people told me that there was a huge change in me (I was unaware) and that they had got “me” back at last.
Never underestimate the impact bad neighbours have on your health.
Speak to your parents today and if they are willing, then please move in with them.
We have this perfect ideal in our heads about milestones - e.g. home at X age, married at 30, kids at 35 - but life isn’t like that. We are all different so shouldn’t compare to others.
Good luck and let us know how you get on.

Sorry for the long post - hope it doesn’t come across as a lecture but I know how it affected me mentally and it’s just not worth it.

 

[Tanne1999]

Self elected King of the street has been going round opening peoples wheelie bins up this morning. No logical reasoning. Just a nosey old twat who needs to know absolutely everything.


He was also looking in our car windows this morning. By the time my partner was dressed and got downstairs, neighbour had vanished presumably to the corner shop, but I will definitely be keeping my eyes on him, and our belongings.

 

[Norfolking Good]

I’m sure when I was a kid our neighbour asked me to stop kicking a ball against their fence and so I stopped and that was that - pretty sure if I’d have continued my mum would have bollocked me and given a grounding.
Are modern parents so scared of their kids and saying no that even common sense is gone? If a kid of mine did that I’d be mortified and get them to be aware of others certainly not turn around on the complainant.

 

[Rxt156]

You can get Alexa to play white noise if you have one

Mine went ARE YOU STILL LISTENING and spoiled the sleepy moment

 

[50sGirl]

We previously had the neighbour from hell.
I knew it had affected me mentally (ashamed to say I contemplated suicide) but it wasn’t until we sold up and moved that I realised a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Within a week of us moving my friends and family told me that they had finally got “me” back again. Never underestimate the toll bad neighbours take on you.

We had 5 wonderful years in our new home, fantastic neighbours - salt of the earth, would do anything for you. Then they had to move to a bungalow for health reasons. They sold to the most narcissistic woman you could ever meet.
We got on well with her for the first month until she found out we weren’t prepared to jump when she demanded it.
So we are now living next door to another neighbour from hell.
And I know you must all be thinking that we are the problem (I’d probably assume the same tbh) but within weeks she also fell out with the neighbour joining her. Our next door-but-one neighbour put her house on the market within 2 months of Hell neighbour moving in. She did well by getting out whilst she still could before things escalated.
This time though I’m older and stronger and wiser and I will not be driven out by a narcissistic bully. She will get her comeuppance eventually. Thankfully we are detached from her so we can close our back gate and ignore her most of the time.

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

Male neighbour in his late 60s always asking me if ive got a boyfriend yet when I see him. Just now, he offered to come on a night out with me and help me pull. I’m in my late 30s.

 

[Some People!]

I loathe screaming kids - I was bought up not to scream because yeah, it's obviously annoying and antisocial, but also because when you really scream it could lack impact. It goes right through me.

I'd love to understand how people who's household is the source of antisocial noises live with it themselves?
Like if my kid was the screamer I'd shut that down pretty fuckin quick because I myself don't want to hear that!
Ditto people who let their dogs bark for extended periods - surely it's annoying to them too?? Our neighbour's dog is set off by visitors to basically anyone, anyone's doorbells, postmen at any door, anything and nothing, and 90% of the time they do nothing at all and the other 10% they say "shaddaaap" in a soothing voice. The dog, naturally doesn't speak English and only knows that they make that sound once he's made his.

My piss is boiled away to a thick, angry urine syrup listening to it.

 

[SoulDestroyer]

I no longer know whether to laugh or cry ...

I was talking to a workman on my driveway today for a few minutes. I was gardening afterwards and a neighbour came past and told me that the nasty neighbour next door had been hiding behind my shrubs listening to my conversation with the workman! She's known to do this, has been caught out doing it before. Couldn't believe she's still doing it. I mean, what do people get out of doing something like that?! I was only talking about block paved driveways .... I'm not very interesting!!
This woman is obsessed with everything I do. If I've been gardening next to our boundary then she comes out of the house when I've gone in to have a look at what I've been doing. I really feel stalked now.

 

[flutternutter]

Someone on our street has family over, so has parked on the road outside their own house, and the other houses have two of the visiting families cars parked outside their homes also. Now I know you don’t own parking on the road but they’ve obviously pissed someone off because the cars have been keyed overnight

How pathetic! I hope someone has them on camera. Ppl who do things like that are the absolute pits of society!

 

[Hendrix]

I was hanging out my washing the other day minding my own business and my neighbour came out his back door and he was on the phone either on FaceTime or loud speaker to his daughter as I could hear her speaking and he said ‘I came home from work last night at 11 and found her lying on the kitchen floor’ and she responded ‘why was she on the floor?!’ And he said ‘she was steaming! I really don’t know what to do I couldn’t lift her up the stairs so left her on the couch, I’m not coming home every day to this’

Why would you have such a private conversation so public and loud?? they’re a lovely couple we’ve never had any issues but wow

 

[SoulDestroyer]

I finally had mediation with the neighbours (separately). What an absolute waste of time. The mediator asks us what's been going on (will not look at any proof - Photos etc, at all), then goes to the neighbour and says "do you do XYZ", neighbour says "no", and then that's it!!
What's the point of that?! Of course they're going to deny everything. The mediator just seems to accept it and then when we say we have proof, she won't look at anything because they're not allowed to.

 

[Jyhy1110]

Iv written on this thread previously about my neighbours, I actually hate them, I feel like I live in a fishbowl, we are in old terraced houses so walls are quite thin, my 4 year old will cry for literally 2 seconds and she texts me, I will have a day off work and she will text me, one of their cats was pooing blood in my garden so I let her know incase something was wrong with the cat she wasn’t that fussed, iv since put up trellis as I don’t want the cats in my garden as I have a child and two dogs, iv just been outside and noticed a really strong smell of cat poo but couldn’t see any on the floor, iv opened and looked out my upstairs bathroom window and their flat roof is covered in cat shit!! Like small mountains of shit! She previously in the summer got a ladder and scraped the poo off the roof, if she knows they shit up there why isn’t she either cleaning it regularly or training the cats not to do it! They have a litter tray outside but they haven’t used it as it’s bloody full! Iv since contacted environmental health, I’m sick of it and hate living next door to them, Iv owned my house 9 years and no issues, they’ve owned theirs now 1 year and I hate being their neighbour, they are nosey, interfering and bloody filthy!

 

[Captainmouse]

Cheer when they finish!

Set the horn off before the finish, really ruin their day

 

[HoGi]

Bathroom work started today.

Nosey Nora over the road nearly broke her neck craning it for a look earlier

 

[MrsFishandChips]

Someone on our street has family over, so has parked on the road outside their own house, and the other houses have two of the visiting families cars parked outside their homes also. Now I know you don’t own parking on the road but they’ve obviously pissed someone off because the cars have been keyed overnight

 

[Orphan_Black]

I can sympathise. I either get 70s disco or warbling women like Celine Dion from my neighbours. My neighbourhood is very quiet too, so they drown out all the birdsong. They put some awful crap on last night when I was sat in the garden and I gave up and went in.

I hate that the advice you get is to put on ear phones to block out noisy neighbours.

Erm no, how about they put the head phones on, or even better shut the hell up!

(Have very noisy neighbours a few doors down, turned a quiet cul-de-sac into a construction zone every time the sun shines, and gets aggressive when told to cut it out. I wish all the dickheads could go live together and make each other's lives hell, and leave us quiet people to relax and enjoy the peace!)

 

[ElegantOwl]

My neighbour and his GF have been bullying and harassing me for 4 months now. All because I asked him if he could start his motorbike around the side or front of his property instead of in his back garden so I didn’t have to listen to him revving it up to 12 times in one day every day. He’s obviously got an entitlement issue, because we’re both council tenants and he has to drive over footpaths to access his back garden which he was never allowed to do in the 1st place. I work from home, they both claim sick benefits. I can ignore the harassment and bullying during the day, but violently slamming the door during the early hours of the morning just to wake me up, pisses me right off. I’m exhausted. I haven’t been able to sleep in my bedroom for months. I’m on my own and they seem to love picking on me! The council hasn’t done much and it’s so frustrating.

 

[ChubClubThug]

I'm sick of my neighbours smoking weed and it stinking my whole house out, pisses me off even more that my sons room reeks of it too

This would drive me insane. The house next door to me is being renovated and some builders they hired were smoking spliffs in the room they were meant to be plastering and it stunk my bathroom out! I think people who smoke it regularly don't realise just how bad it stinks and how disgusting the smell is. So rude and inconsiderate

 

[Rxt156]

I need some advice on my neighbour, they moved in December, we live in old Victorian terraces so I can hear them cough through the walls they initially did some work upstairs on the property but would stop work at 8pm every nighty so were very considerate as I have a 3.5 year old son, I introduced myself and they seem like a nice couple and also have a 3.5 year old son but he has delays so needs extra help, we have since met up with the mum and son and they play etc and I’m grateful to have nice neighbours

This is where the problem is and they are really nice but I don’t know how to approach them on their 4 cats, I have 2 small dogs, both chihuahua size, they built a cattery on the side of their house which is against my garden wall, my dogs are now constantly barking seeing the cats sitting on the wall, being in our garden etc they have the cats litter trays in this cattery (seem pointless to me as the cats can now roam outside freely) and they feed the cats in this cattery aswell it’s just off their back door, it’s wet food aswell, one of the cats sat on the wall and after eating it puked all on the top of the wall, down the wall, and all onto my patio, I text her next door and asked if she knew her cat was poorly as it was sick and she replied no sometimes it eats too quick and throws up, no mention of cleaning it up! She doesn’t clean the litter trays etc daily so now the hot weather is making our small gardens smell like hot cat shit the wet food is also outside in the heat and stinks, the garden which I have to pass through to get my bin out down the alley (I am the end terrace so no one passing through) has all these bin bags filled with the litter she has cleaned out but just dumped on the floor as they don’t fit in the bin, I had my bedroom window open the other evening and had to close it due to the smell of the litter trays

we were invited over on the bank holiday Thursday so the kids could play and the house is disgusting on the inside, Iv never known a family to order from just eat near enough everyday or every other, there were Burger King bags on the kitchen side, kfc bag on the floor, she told me she hadn’t washed up yet as the kids weren’t at nursery that afternoon and asked me to bring my own child his own drink from home as they didn’t have an extra cup, she told me they had to de flea the house as the cats now bringing in fleas and she had been confronted at nursery as they thought their little boy had chicken pox there was an outbreak at the time but it wasn’t chicken pox he had been so badly bitten by fleas they thought it was chicken pox!!
I understand a child with some delays is difficult but it shouldn’t make them dirty! She is a very lazy woman and the man goes out to work daily and she just festers in that house all day clearly not doing any housework! The little boy goes to bed every night perfectly fine so can’t understand why she only washes up twice a week in the afternoons when he goes to nursery, she could do it when he goes to bed!
The cats have now brought fleas into my own garden as for the first time in 7 years one of my dogs have caught them, I washed their beds and left them in the garden to dry and she text me a pic whilst I was at work of her cats in the dogs beds I had washed in the garden so they have been binned, I am very houseproud so don’t like the thought of fleas entering my home, I Caught the fleas early and my dogs are now fine
She posted a colouring book for my little boy the other day and I don’t think she has any friends or anything so expects me to see her every week on my days off, I work 3 days a week so then I feel bad that Iv kept cancelling on her as her house gives me anxiety being in there and I don’t like them coming to my home because she turns up at 10am and doesn’t leave until quarter to 5 and doesn’t get the hint I have things to do and my own life

so how would I approach her about her smelly cats and trays etc

sorry for the long post, I think everyone I work with and my family are sick of hearing about it

Oh fucking hell. You’re gonna have to move. Or fake your own death

 

[Crazy87]

I’ve had neighbour issues since lockdown. My next door neighbour decided to become bum chums with the people who live at the bottom of my garden. Both women are loud mouths and like to shout to on another no matter the time. The kid down the bottom is 10 and shouts and screams his head off all day long the parents don’t give a shit. I have 4 kids of my own and always had consideration of other people but my neighbours don’t care. I’ve been living in hell the last 2 years I have agoraphobia and my garden was the only place I felt safe outside but not anymore. my next door neighbour has 1 kid who’s 9, down the bottom 2 kids 10 & 4 they would constantly come into my garden (the back garden) without permission the noise is so bad but I can’t do anything about it as it’s considered “playing” I can’t even leave my windows open at night coz the noise starts at 7am but as far as the neighbours are concerned it’s me who has the problem and they aren’t doing anything wrong. They both got shitty when I put a cctv camera in my garden when it’s doesn’t even look into their properties but both invade my privacy by looking into my house all the time. I suffer with mental health issues and too much noise is unsettling for me.