Niomi Smart #8 Joey bails, smart skin fail, pahhhfect life won't get you sales

[emm]

I swear to bleeping God if she talks about hOw LoNg iTs TaKeN hEr tO pUt hErSeLf FiRsT aNd sHe's FINALLY tAkiNg CaRe oF hErSeLf aFteR tAkiNg 28 yEARS I will motherfucking fly my ass to London, wait at the mushroom street cafe & mid matcha sip shove the cup into her face, then hankerchief slap her & steal her purse & throw a custom printed canvas bag with Joe's face on it filled to the brim with face masks at her feet.

and no doubt without any distancingat all, there will be pics of them all huggingetc e

 

[zizzly]

That's what I don't understand ...London chatter is going to have multiple baby showers. ..breaking rules ..spreading the germs to multiple people..where are these people's brains and also have the audacity to socialize in Covid. She is also pregnant. Brikliant

 

[lilamay]

The food at thar (vegan) babyshowet was depressing af. I assume no one attending eats much beyond nobbling on a part ring and small slither of banana bread with a feel new tea. Where was the real food?! The plant based mini sausage rolls, some fancy, sorry? artisan bread A selection of veg crudités, some thisisn't chunks and various dips, hippeas crisps, sandwiches or small squares of vegan pizza/quiches. All that is fairly easy to do yourself at a rush thanks to supermarkets but venita could have ordered in with her money and schedule. That cake was horrific. A barbie in a cake, is she legless or are the plastic legs dangling down in the sponge? I bet all niomi wanted was a smoothie bowl or a naked bunless bean burger, cold and shriveled to make sure she didn't enjoy it too much.

In answer to your question - click through to the second pic



Niomi won't have been able to eat of the cake any as it wasn't vegan.

 

[lucyflospeaks]

oooh who is teddy farrelly

Omg INTERESTING.... he was ALWAYS on hinge, tinder, raya, when I was single about a year ago!!!! He is like a much less good looking joe. And he isn’t that tall!!!! I have friends who know him from a few years ago. Don’t think they in contact now....

 

[EGuyUK]

Thank you for alerting us to this great word, using this all the time now!!

I just watched the Smart Skin video. As expected, she knows nothing about skincare. I don't know how to add an image but in one of the comments of the video someone asks why you can't review the products on the website as that would factor into their decision to buy. I thought that was a good point and I'm the same - I don't trust reviews from other influencers aka her friends, I want some from ordinary people.

She describes herself as having "problem skin" and I know we say she isn't a great advert for skincare and her skin looks dull etc but it's far from "problem skin". She's said herself years ago that she never used to get spots or anything like that. As someone who has acne and rosacea this really annoyed me. Someone who has problem skin would know a lot about skincare and ingredients but she's acting as if we're all as dumb as her. It's honestly like she's discovered what moisturiser is. I'd consider a "skincare junkie", as she describes herself, to be someone who is clued up on ingredients and is interested in new developments in the skincare world. Niomi only cares about those things if she's getting paid. I think the range will appeal to rich people like her who don't really pay much attention to what goes on their skin and can afford to splash out for self care reasons.

Side note: why do they ALWAYS have a Barbie cake at those gatherings? Multiple baby showers is stupid and what are the chances they aren't remotely careful when they hang out? Never liked buffets/sharing food but I especially don't like it during a pandemic - seems totally unnecessary. I'm a key worker and we weren't allowed to use the shared microwave at work.

Why did she not use the products on her actual face in the Smart Skin video, I don't understand?

Genius idea chaps, that will stop the spread of COVID

View attachment 274785

This is frankly insane, I am so annoyed by this

Edit: Have you seen her latest story as of 2 minutes ago about the Detox Kitchen. She gets one of those deliveries every single day!!! How wasteful is that? I thought Hello Fresh was bad enough on plastic/packaging when I trialed it for a week, but a daily delivery like that is mad

 

[MeLlamoMiami]

That sounds like an amazing (and easy to put together) feast, you're making me hungry I don't think a lot of those girls do really eat that much. Venetia has spoken about food problems in the past and seems very thin these days too.

I wonder exactly the same about the cake? How do you cut a Barbie cake? Having visions of a slice with a bit of Barbie foot in it or something And what happens to Barbie afterwards? Not very sustainable if she's binned!

I don't understand why a grown woman would want a cake like that. I had a barbie cake for my 8th birthday (about 18 years ago when it was still quite original) and I thought it was amazing! My mom made it herself and we used my favorite barbie (she made a bunt cake and put barbie in the middle with a marzipan skirt. Took her out before cutting the cake). It's a nice childhood memory, but I wouldn't be excited about it now I'm in my late twenties. But then again, these women come across as a bunch of spoiled little girls to begin with, so in that sense it's right up their alley.

 

[bookish]

I imagine the socialites she is rubbing shoulders with currently are rubbing off on her.

I don't think she cares about anyone or anything but herself atm. She can't be over being humiliated by dreamy joey yet. I would laugh if he ends up with another 28 year old, skinny blonde, vegan, yoga enthusiast who runs 20k for funsies.
Niomi would be livid - joeeey why NOT meee!

I would love it MORE if Joey ends up with an average looking, sweet-hearted brunette who's a size 10, isn't athletic at all but highly academic... and a lawyer

 

[Shutterbug99]

oooh who is teddy farrelly

Who is this? Another new Instagram follow? I wasn't online yesterday and seem to have missed out on an important development!

 

[Libertine1975]

I would love it MORE if Joey ends up with an average looking, sweet-hearted brunette who's a size 10, isn't athletic at all but highly academic... and a lawyer

How about a fat, ginger lawyer like me

 

[eucalyptus]

I would love it MORE if Joey ends up with an average looking, sweet-hearted brunette who's a size 10, isn't athletic at all but highly academic... and a lawyer

how rude niomi CHOSE not to be a lawyer it was her choice and she could slum it at a top law firm any day of the week if she wanted to

Omg INTERESTING.... he was ALWAYS on hinge, tinder, raya, when I was single about a year ago!!!! He is like a much less good looking joe. And he isn’t that tall!!!! I have friends who know him from a few years ago. Don’t think they in contact now....

looks he's around 28 as well, works for a london based travel company, and is really outdoorsy has done heaps of mountain climbing in the himalayas and stuff - sounds like a possible contender for her i can imagine she really hams up what a worldly international traveler she is whenever she meets new people

and he also wouldn't accept my instagram request so presumably they know each other and he doesn't accept randoms

(it's clearly been a slow day for me)

 

[BigQueenEnergy]

Would anyone here date an influencer? I couldn’t think of anything worse.

 

[Lionsden]

I wonder if the breakup has made her so bitter and sad/mad that it's taken away whatever little empathy she had left for people less privileged than her...

She seems almost self-righteous.

 

[lemonlime]

Would anyone here date an influencer? I couldn’t think of anything worse.

Not if I was paid for it, imagine having a camera shoved into your face before you even wake up #keepingitreal. I'm a private person, I barely post on my own my instagram so having to endure some vain hole always begging for a freebie while waxing poetic about how much of a difference they make... Sounds like a nightmare.

 

[Lionsden]

Makes you wonder what she said to Joe when he had to get up and go to work really doesn’t it. Or if she looked down on him working a ‘proper’ job and it was really obvious

She was annoyed because Joey couldn't participate in her pampering-schedule and take her to lunches and dinners every day. She often stayed in bed for ages after he had left, then scheduled early morning exercise classes to give the impression of being busy. They seemed incompatible in that sense from the beginning.

 

[cosmicodone]

Not if I was paid for it, imagine having a camera shoved into your face before you even wake up #keepingitreal. I'm a private person, I barely post on my own my instagram so having to endure some vain hole always begging for a freebie while waxing poetic about how much of a difference they make... Sounds like a nightmare.

I agree with this on a spiritual level. you could not pay me enough money to date an influencer. imagine never being able to eat a single bite of hot food bc its always the subject of a god damn photoshoot. and even worse, the constant checking of followers/likes/comments in a neverending mental masturbation of spending every waking moment soaking in empty validation of how popular/pretty/wonderful you are from people who dont even know you personally.

 

[emm]

Would anyone here date an influencer? I couldn’t think of anything worse.

imagine constantly waiting till your food got cold as they took pics

 

[milanolo]

imagine constantly waiting till your food got cold as they took pics

Omg my ultimate pet peeve. I literally tell my friends that they have 2 seconds to take their picture then I’m digging in. I came here to eat, not for them to shove a camera in my food. I don’t know where they get the patience to wait until they’ve fully captured 2810 angles before taking a bite.

 

[emm]

Omg my ultimate pet peeve. I literally tell my friends that they have 2 seconds to take their picture then I’m digging in. I came here to eat, not for them to shove a camera in my food. I don’t know where they get their patience to wait until they’ve fully captured 2810 angles before taking a bite.

one of my hobbies when I'm incentral london at work is ruining photos of the millions of influencers who seem to be taking endless photos there.. I've literally seen people changingclothes inthe middle of a busy street for fotos. watching people pose forsupposed candid pics is also hilarious

 

[Quaffleandsnitch]

one of my hobbies when I'm incentral london at work is ruining photos of the millions of influencers who seem to be taking endless photos there.. I've literally seen people changingclothes inthe middle of a busy street for fotos. watching people pose forsupposed candid pics is also hilarious

OT but this reminded me of a time when I was once at dinner with a friend and two girls came in, sat at a table next to us, took pictures of each other posing at the table (the restaurant had quite beautiful decor and we were seated outdoors), had a glass of water and LEFT.
And I was like ???
They weren’t even “influencers”, maybe wannabe influencers at best, but more likely college girls who followed influencers digital creative content creators and wanted their feed to look similar to theirs. Pathetic that this is what some people aspire to

 

[emm]

OT but this reminded me of a time when I was once at dinner with a friend and two girls came in, sat at a table next to us, took pictures of each other posing at the table (the restaurant had quite beautiful decor and we were seated outdoors), had a glass of water and LEFT.
And I was like ???
They weren’t even “influencers”, maybe wannabe influencers at best, but more likely college girls who followed influencers digital creative content creators and wanted their feed to look similar to theirs. Pathetic that this is what some people aspire to

yes i have seen this! and arranging their expensive bag "casually" by whatever else is on the table to include in shot, I cannot believe people are not embarassed to do this in piblic tbh! I've also watched people take selfie after selfie on the tube (in rush hour no less), check it, re-take, check, re-take..