Niomi Smart #79 'Money, money, money' Substack honey- trap!

[ohnana]

I wonder..
She is really not making justice to her name. She's a twit, tries all these drawings, teas, ceremonies, yoga, blablaa but she can't commit to any of them. She has no substance. She is void. Her brain is a mumbo jumbo.
if she hasn't been able to keep lordon as a fiancee/husband/creep whatever she wants to name him.. he is the same mambo jumbo as she is...how on earth will she keep a man who is actually Smart?! I seriously doubt she will be able to catch a banker/investor/ someone in that rich area to make her his wife. God imagine she wants someone like Harvey Specter type - successfull, good looking, smart, with connections and money..and there's Niomi drawing hearts..

 

[Yel]

...how on earth will she keep a man who is actually Smart?! I seriously doubt she will be able to catch a banker/investor/ someone in that rich area to make her his wife.

I can't see her getting with someone that actually works. Too much of a cultural difference for her.

Maybe a particularly dim aristocrat is her best shot? Like her they'd have stunted development from many years of never having to try hard at anything.

 

[kittenseer]

I can't see her getting with someone that actually works. Too much of a cultural difference for her.

Maybe a particularly dim aristocrat is her best shot? Like her they'd have stunted development from many years of never having to try hard at anything.

Howling at ”particularly dim aristocrat”. Agreed, one of those would be perfect for Nims!

 

[kale-supremacist]

And only if her future in laws can't use a google search....

I'm sure the one thing that really is bothering her must be the cock worship/sex parties in Bali

 

[lurkerxx]

OH DEARRRRRR! This caption is SO TELLING. "I forgive her for sometimes finding herself in questionable situations and locations!" THE COCKWORSHIPPING RETREAT!!!! This is actually the most direct she's been about the whole situation.

 

[Shutterbug99]

Wow is that photo her?
I would not have recognised her at all. She looks about 40 there.

That is a really bad photo of her. I'm surprised she used it!

 

[curiouscat106]

OH DEARRRRRR! This caption is SO TELLING. "I forgive her for sometimes finding herself in questionable situations and locations!" THE COCKWORSHIPPING RETREAT!!!! This is actually the most direct she's been about the whole situation.

I just came on to say the exact same thing
Also: “for all the choices and decisions I have made, even if at the time they made no sense to me or anyone around me.” = AGREEING TO MARRY A DONKEY, WHO SHE NEVER REALLY LOVED.

 

[Shutterbug99]

She is constantly thanking her younger self for the mistakes she made, because they led to where she is now, and she loves who she's becoming etc. etc.*

She said this after the Joey split when she declared she had been on the wrong path and was now on the right path.

She also said this during the Barley era. She loved who she was becoming then too (her true, authentic self) when she was heading off to sex parties and cock worship retreats and hanging out with cult members.

She always loves who she's becoming - but never quite gets there.

---

*She can say 'no regrets' all she wants, but we all know she's dying of embarrasment because the cock worshipping receipts are posted here for everyone to see. She 100% regrets a whole lot of what she got up to when she was with Lordon. She speaks of the mistakes her 'younger self' made like this all happened years ago, when she was still with the guy two months back!

 

[Ciri]

The moon and the bleeds can't save you from what you trully are, Niomi, a terrible woman who spit nonsense 24/7.

Wait i didn't notice that she likes her own post, at least she is consistent with one thing. 14 likes - 1 comment in 1 day. You are a nobody in the influencer's world, Niomi. Time to retire.

 

[Lionsden]

She is constantly thanking her younger self for the mistakes she made, because they led to where she is now, and she loves who she's becoming etc. etc.*

She said this after the Joey split when she declared she had been on the wrong path and was now on the right path.

She also said this during the Barley era. She loved who she was becoming then too (her true, authentic self) when she was heading off to sex parties and cock worship retreats and hanging out with cult members.

She always loves who she's becoming - but never quite gets there.

---

*She can say 'no regrets' all she wants, but we all know she's dying of embarrasment because the cock worshipping receipts are posted here for everyone to see. She 100% regrets a whole lot of what she got up to when she was with Lordon. She speaks of the mistakes her 'younger self' made like this all happened years ago, when she was still with the guy two months back!

She's going to thank herself in two weeks / months / years for the mistakes she is making today. She'll always have something to be grateful for!

 

[supercalifragilis]

Wow is that photo her?
I would not have recognised her at all. She looks about 40 there.

It is truly a terrible photo and she just thinks that any picture where she shows a flat tummy and a mane of blond hair is a good one. Clearly delulu.
---

Howling at ”particularly dim aristocrat”. Agreed, one of those would be perfect for Nims!

The Pride and Prejudice reboot that I won't want to read.

 

[Jelly Bean]

What I still find so amusing about the cock and p*ssy retreat is Niomi thinking nobody would ever find out about it
There is no way she would mention 'questionable situations and locations' if the receipts weren't here, but it must always be hanging over her head.
I know Jamie White was a terrible influence on her but I hope she doesn't blame it all on him. She was her usual smug self after the retreat (before she read here probably ) talking about how important it had been for her upcoming marriage, and wafting around sitting on his lap.
She made poor decisions but they were her decisions.

 

[bluestone]

That feminine divine "article"/newsletter thing was very stupid. Also, who the duck wants to see 5 pictures of her in various contorted poses for International Women's Day (not the correct name, it's about our rights, thanks very much fuckwit)? Will yoga give us back our abortion rights?? This one is my favorite: does she think she looks "natural" in this? She takes pictures like Tanya Burr acts, which is very self-consciously while 100% convinced she's super good at it.

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Agreeing with everyone saying this photo is terrible. She wants to be a model but all she gets is having to PAY for her photos to be taken lol

I truly hate when people want to appear mysterious and say things like "I made mistakes blablabla" without saying exactly what this is about. Not to mention the retreat was like, what, 4 months ago ? How the duck can you talk about your "younger self" from 4 months ago

She should be grateful her cock worship retreat is on Tattle and not on a newspaper or on TV.

 

[Nitfey]

Agreeing with everyone saying this photo is terrible. She wants to be a model but all she gets is having to PAY for her photos to be taken lol

I truly hate when people want to appear mysterious and say things like "I made mistakes blablabla" without saying exactly what this is about. Not to mention the retreat was like, what, 4 months ago ? How the duck can you talk about your "younger self" from 4 months ago

She should be grateful her cock worship retreat is on Tattle and not on a newspaper or on TV.

I think daily mail got the hint from tattle that they broke up but even for them it was too much with the genitals worshipping...I think you don't want to advertise something like this just for all the worst world weirdest creep and pervert to gather in Bali. Bali is suffering enough with those other lunatics already...
---
...BUT perhaps someone will do a documentary exposing the bullshit happening there with a mention of those weird influencers coming there and some of her photos from that "couples retreat"

 

[lurkerxx]

What I still find so amusing about the cock and p*ssy retreat is Niomi thinking nobody would ever find out about it
There is no way she would mention 'questionable situations and locations' if the receipts weren't here, but it must always be hanging over her head.
I know Jamie White was a terrible influence on her but I hope she doesn't blame it all on him. She was her usual smug self after the retreat (before she read here probably ) talking about how important it had been for her upcoming marriage, and wafting around sitting on his lap.
She made poor decisions but they were her decisions.

THIS. YES.
She was INCREDIBLY smug about it, selling it as it were a spiritual and loving retreat. It's her DISHONESTY that gets on my nerves. Just be honest. Their whole relationship was about showing how happy they were, how they were perfect at everything, how they were on a pedestal, teaching other people how to be like them. Of course people who saw right through it and called her out were immediately named "haters" and "shadows". In her mind, we're all jealous of her. Niomi, darling, the joke is on you twice: 1) Sane and mature people saw right away how fake your whole happiness and light was; 2) No one was jealous of you.
Everyone makes mistakes. It's how we deal with them that distinguish us. Jamie was an awful influence on her, I have no doubt about it. She was an easy prey to him. But all the smugness wasn't only on his side. If details about the retreat hadn't come out, there's no way she'd talk like this now. She'd still have broken up with him, but I don't think she'd allude to "questionable locations". Deep down, she's always known it was an embarrassing thing, but she didn't admit it because her ego is too big and the most important thing for her is portray PERFECTION at everything.

 

[melfish]

Another hidden gem? Why must the world conceal itself from Niomi?

 

[Jelly Bean]

THIS. YES.
She was INCREDIBLY smug about it, selling it as it were a spiritual and loving retreat. It's her DISHONESTY that gets on my nerves. Just be honest. Their whole relationship was about showing how happy they were, how they were perfect at everything, how they were in a pedestal, teaching other people how to be like them. Of course people who saw right through it and called her out were immediately named "haters" and "shadows". In her mind, we're all jealous of her. Niomi, darling, the joke is on you twice: 1) Sane and mature people saw right away how fake your whole happiness and light was; 2) No one was jealous of you.
Everyone makes mistakes. It's how we deal with them that distinguish us. Jamie was an awful influence on her, I have no doubt about it. She was an easy prey to him. But all the smugness wasn't only on his side. If details about the retreat hadn't come out, there's no way she'd talk like this now. She'd still have broken up with him, but I don't think she'd allude to "questionable locations". Deep down, she's always known it was an embarrassing thing, but she didn't admit it because her ego is too big and the most important thing for her is portray PERFECTION at everything.

Exactly. And remember how arsey she got with people after the fondling in the cafe with Lordon saying 'I'm getting horny'
People on IG said it was revolting and inappropriate and we got pious lectures about how sad it was people resented seeing others in love or some such twaddle. Is that now a 'questionable situation and location' when she was much younger ie a few months ago?
I presume she also means the naked mud festival and the horrid sex party where Lordon wore his mesh vest and pleather shorts Goodness knows what actually went on at those things as we only got the sanitised versions, like they tried to present the retreat.
Quite a few things to look back on with embarassment for poor Dim. But still they've made her the goddess she is today

 

[curiouscat106]

That retreat was litcherally 3months and 5 short days ago.

Edit: how could I have forgotten about the naked mud festival?!

Tbh I had massive meltdown this week, life just feels so overwhelming at times and the thought of Nims raking in cash on Substack was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’m so glad to see it’s failing already (I mean, 15 likes - 1 of which is her ).

Why is she so incapable of doing something successful when she’s had everything handed to her on a plate?! HEY, NIMS! Do you know what would’ve been a better idea than your crappy newsletter - another cook book. Simple. You know the process. Open with a chapter about how you’re no longer vegan and your reasoning for the transition, be it for your health, or that you recognised it was enabling disordered eating habits. You’ve talked about how you now eat intuitively. So put together recipes that match how your body is feeling/your moods. And you can title it so it follows on from your first book, Eat Smart - call it Eat Intuitively. It’s a start. Then maybe you’ll be able to salvage your career.

Or better still, contact some streaming services and pitch the idea of a documentary about the seedy underbelly of Bali and how you got caught up in cultish sex retreats. Now THAT is something we would all pay to see!!!!

 

[Coldfeet]

That retreat was litcherally 3months and 5 short days ago.

Edit: how could I have forgotten about the naked mud festival?!

Tbh I had massive meltdown this week, life just feels so overwhelming at times and the thought of Nims raking in cash on Substack was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’m so glad to see it’s failing already (I mean, 15 likes - 1 of which is her ).

Why is she so incapable of doing something successful when she’s had everything handed to her on a plate?! HEY, NIMS! Do you know what would’ve been a better idea than your crappy newsletter - another cook book. Simple. You know the process. Open with a chapter about how you’re no longer vegan and your reasoning for the transition, be it for your health, or that you recognised it was enabling disordered eating habits. You’ve talked about how you now eat intuitively. So put together recipes that match how your body is feeling/your moods. And you can title it so it follows on from your first book, Eat Smart - call it Eat Intuitively. It’s a start. Then maybe you’ll be able to salvage your career.

Or better still, contact some streaming services and pitch the idea of a documentary about the seedy underbelly of Bali and how you got caught up in cultish sex retreats. Now THAT is something we would all pay to see!!!!

NOT another plagiarised cook book. She is NOT a cook. Maybe a volume called SLUSH SMART- the truth at least!

 

[LaraQ]

It's been over 2 months since the break up and I am genuinely shocked that there isn't a new man on the scene yet.Particularly considering how quickly she started dating again after Joe dumped her.