Niomi Smart #59 She wants settle down with babies and a cat, between Dublin and Bali with Lordon the rat

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Part of what made the place so dreary was just her state of mind. She was constantly gloomy and the place came across as a coffin fridge.
Another person might have hygge'd the hell out of it.
 
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Ah, you guys are amazing! I’ve bookmarked all your recommendations! Okay, now back to our regular scheduled programming… 😂
 
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So many interesting answers on the shed. 🤗 It's true the space didn't have the best layout for a long tem use, it's also true that Niomi's attitude didn't help. That attitude is the reason she can't seem to find happiness or comfort anywhere right now. She needs to work on the space within first.
 
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She paid way too much money for that place, even tho the way she makes money is a joke, but anyways... I mentioned before that it would be a great space for someone who also owned the big house and needed a living space if let's say they were writing a book etc, and really needed peace and quiet with amenities.
 
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The shed could have worked for someone with an actual job. Someone who has to wake up, go to work, grab a bite with friends and then just going back to the shed to sleep. No one could actually live in that living room, like a real life aquarium.
 
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@Lionsden I don’t like that part either. I would have read up on entryway feng shui principles to deal with it though lol
Yes. Even a curved curtain to partition off the entrance could have worked. Instead of having a huge sofa and that weird dining area, people could have sat on cute little upholstered chairs that could be moved around depending on the occasion. Use a small poof to stretch your legs on while watching TV, pull up a small, low table to put your food on. Tall plants along the glass panes instead of opaque foil could have made the space more friendly while obscuring the view from outside. The kitchen could have been streamlined, the terraces sculpted with potted shrubs. I could go on. There are so many things someone who cherished that place could do to improve it. The place isn't ideal, but it's not half as bad as uncreative, unmotivated Niomi made it seem. The design and decor it was sold with was loveless and didn't really make use of the small, awkwardly proportioned space.
 
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She dropped the shed the moment she broke up with Forky.

She moved on from her previous neighborhood and moved to Clapham after she broke up with Joey.

She clearly associates where she lived with failed eras of her life, so she moves on when it’s over.

If she breaks up with Jamie, she probably won’t set foot in Bali again.

So she may be is a chameleon lol.
 
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Thanks, @aefterglow, I now have a new sleep paralysis demon! It's weird it isn't Lordon, though. Maybe he's too ugly even for that. 🤣
 
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The shed is great for anyone who is able to appreciate it and make the most of it! It definitely has its advantages in my opinion, and some undeveloped potential. The biggest negative for me was the fact that the entrance landed you directly in the tiny living room.
if I was single and in my early 30s I’d be *chuffed* to own that place, in a good location in London and it’s a fairly decent standard.

it’s not amazing or the prettiest but having her own place aged 30 in central London essentially? That would make me have a lot more love towards that little tin shed than Niomi seems to have.

my partner and I bought a house in the outskirts of London, it’s not an amazing location, it’s a fixer upper but because we own it I adore the tit out of it, even if the kitchen is an early 00s cheap monstrosity and the bathroom is falling apart. It’s her mindset towards the shed I don’t understand.
 
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I presume a lot of Niomi's motivation is being envied and admired. Like a lot of influencers. I don't mind the shed, seems warm (when the boiler is fixed 😂) and cosy. But it probably only took a couple of people who visited to be less than impressed for Niomi to turn against it.
She seems so utterly suggestionable and has no clear idea of herself.
 
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I would kindly ask all of the haters to put some respect on the shed. It was the place where this unhinged masterpiece was created.
aw Niomi. We all stalk our exes new gf and hell, maybe even copy her a lil.

but this is next level, I think this is Niomi’s equivalent of crying into a tub of ice cream and bottle of wine.
 
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She always writes the same type of comment ..and a year after that she says how much she hated it/was miserable/unhappy etc.. blah blah

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This was on Estee Lalonde's thread, guess this chic is sending her books and candles to everyone now lol.. so predictable! Let's see how long till it's in Niomi's stories.

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The price is absolutely bonkers...

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Niomi is transparent to us. But if someone could analyze me and explain why I actually consider the shed quite a nice place?😭 Not as a forver home, just overall. I've moved a lot, I've seen true housing horrors, I really didn't think it was that bad, but everyone on here was "OMG! Hideous!" and I don't know what to say. 😂

@formerly_sitkx I liked DJ's guest shed, too. 🤣 And I don't like tiny cramped spaces in general. But the guest house was kinda cute.
It's very short and narrow, the photos make it seem much wider and longer than it actually is.

Seems quite roomy in the wide lens professional pics
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These are from her instagram, and you can see the actual width of the place.
That glass door next to the tv is the front door.
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For some insane reason, the kitchen island takes up half the place
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The bathtub faces some kind of strange window. I can't understand where it leads, but that seems absolutely insane to me.
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And here you can see that the "house" is actually just a garage-type add-on onto someone's actual house.
Also, whoever owns the big house has a window that leads into her backyard.
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Personally, I think it's pretty great as an Airbnb where people can stay for a few days, but as a permanent residence it seems strange and impractical. There is just wayyy too many glass doors and floor-to-ceiling windows, etc. It's kind of spooky.

I also feel like she was at her most depressed stage when she moved in and lived there. She was doing much better at her friend's flat with the brick wall and green bookcases.
 
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We love any and all food! Big Indian food fans as well!
If you’re feeling a little spenny, Benares in Mayfair is an amazing Michelin starred Indian restaurant. They do great value set lunch menus too.
 
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Wow, @formerly_sitkx, thanks to your detailed post, I've finally seen the light! It IS a fucken shed! 😁 I've seen these pics before, but all together is a different story.
I still maintain the place has a certain claustrophobic charm. 😂 I would still have probably given it a go for a while.
 
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