Niomi Smart #49 the Lordon, the witch and the boob probe

[pinkmug]

Speaking of Holly, I just noticed she truly is the perfect future sister-in-law.

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Aw these Mauritius memories are priceless 🥹


On another note:

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Again Niomi, taking selfies is not work! And wearing glasses won’t help you to pretend you’re working (that smug face though ).

what the hell, she looks 50 years old here.

 

[CallItAsItIs]

off topic, but her follower count dropped to 1.3m from 1.4 earlier today on insta

Again? She dropped down to 1.3mil maybe a week ago? Who knows.

Oh yea, that comment is long gone…
I would like to express appreciation for another potential thread title curtesy of @CallItAsItIs
‘woe is me, but let’s manifest it out, OH MOON’
Sooooo many good ones, it’s impossible to choose!

Lol…you’re too kind.
But I agree, there are a lot of great ones to choose from. GROUP EFFORT YEAH!

Check out the tags on those photoshoot pics including #elopementphotographer #bridetobe #engaged. I think she's primarily a wedding photographer and maybe uses these tags on all her photos BUT...

I wouldn’t think too much about those tags, since she uses these ones too…

#hoorayweddingy! Which is *exactly* what this ‘relationship’ and photoshoot scream to me: wedding-y

 

[irvinelane]

So natural, not forced at all, you know, the usual.

Ibiza..n?

Alright, let’s say it’s actually a word. What do you mean by feel like visiting a local Ibizan family? Like.. your imaginary Bali family?

 

[Shutterbug99]

I think she's probably been in Ibiza with them all along while posting old photos so it looks like she's been in London. They'll be off to Bali after this. It's safe to go back now that Forky's back in London!

Anyone know who Joe is dating right now?.

Nope. He keeps things very private these days. We thought he had revealed a new girlfriend last week, but it was a false alarm!

 

[Callan]

Niomi might be royalty after all, the Queen of Cringe.

 

[dodo789]

Just casually browsing when I saw this…we might see new people here! Honestly, Niomi doesn’t even do anything remotely interesting but it’s still exhausting to keep up with her, the secondhand embarrassment gets worse every day with her

 

[cocochino]

Just casually browsing when I saw this…we might see new people here! Honestly, Niomi doesn’t even do anything remotely interesting but it’s still exhausting to keep up with her, the secondhand embarrassment gets worse every day with her View attachment 1618531

Lol what subreddit is this??

 

[Coldfeet]

So natural, not forced at all, you know, the usual.

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Ibiza..n?

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Alright, let’s say it’s actually a word. What do you mean by feel like visiting a local Ibizan family? Like.. your imaginary Bali family?

Her shoulders are clearly stuck

 

[ECH]

Lol what subreddit is this??

I think it was Deuxmoi, I saw it too

 

[Jackie Daytona]

I see this...


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I feel like if Niomi did this exercise, sitting slightly hunched, mouth stretched, she would feel so much less clenched and constipated.

 

[pinkmug]

Niomi might be royalty after all, the Queen of Cringe.

next thread title please

 

[RMN]

Omg I'm going to Ibiza tomorrow. What if I see them

 

[Nitfey]

Omg I'm going to Ibiza tomorrow. What if I see them

You are on a special mission my dear chanel your secret services persona ..
and watch out for flamingos and piranhas!
Ps: wear a t-shirt with frida and a necklace with crystals, she will find you

 

[bluestone]

Agreed with everyone saying this blurry photoshoot is very cringe. I noticed Lordon didn't share the photos they have a distance between them, only the ones where he shows how he possesses his girlfriend (the finger in the "poop hole" made me laugh so hard ). Wouldn't surprise me if Lordon was feeling unsafe in this relationship. If my girlfriend had this look, I wouldn't feel safe either tbh.

Niomi might be royalty after all, the Queen of Cringe.

OMG

 

[Coldfeet]

Omg I'm going to Ibiza tomorrow. What if I see them

Let your bum cheeks hang out, twist those shoulders, wear naff gigantic sun glasses, haunt smoothie bowl outlets and chant 'vegan vegan vegan'- sure to work

 

[irvinelane]

Is it me or his upper lip disappears when he smiles?

Spoiler: 😬

 

[earlgrey]

I almost miss the old days when the weirdest thing about Niomi was that she called half a slice of wholegrain bread “cheeky”. Now she may or may not be engaged to the leader of a sex cult she met a few months ago and it’s not even a shock

 

[QueenBW]

Part of me is scared of Niomi and Lordon breaking up because what exactly comes after bottom-of-the-barrel? Like, she broke up with Joe and had the fling with Dettol Daddy. Tattle consensus was that it was a downgrade since he looked leathery and like a less handsome Joe. THEN she went for Forky, and we were like, God, he's an Iberic ham leg, how can she do worse? But she actually managed that feat and somehow found what I think is honest-to-God the most repelling man on influencer-dom. Like, I'd rather be stuck with Alfie Deyes than this man.

So what would come next?

 

[Swipeupyouguys]

Part of me is scared of Niomi and Lordon breaking up because what exactly comes after bottom-of-the-barrel? Like, she broke up with Joe and had the fling with Dettol Daddy. Tattle consensus was that it was a downgrade since he looked leathery and like a less handsome Joe. THEN she went for Forky, and we were like, God, he's an Iberic ham leg, how can she do worse? But she actually managed that feat and somehow found what I think is honest-to-God the most repealing man on influencer-dom. Like, I'd rather be stuck with Alfie Deyes than this man.

So what would come next?

She'll be Boris Johnson's next wife?

 

[curiouscat106]

Trump? His and hers’ hair do