Niomi Smart #45 Fourchette la baguette and Donkey in the shed, are they engaged yet?

[Nitfey]

Check out bestie Charlotte’s comment!
Any news bomb dropping soon?!?!

What? No way! Can she be that dumb?? ....Yep probably...Geez this gonna end so bad !!!! Need to order a mega truck of popcorn . Tattlers we need to organize a mega event with projector and watch together that madness.

 

[Swipeupyouguys]

Okay I know we've all agreed his teeth are ridiculously big but I've only ever seen his photos + heard him speak in a podcast - I never actually saw these big boys in action. Watched a video of him speaking and MY. GOD. This is nightmare fuel!
Gosh Niomi, how can you kiss that?!

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She cannot feel safe allowing those chompers to worder south.

 

[Swipeupyouguys]

Update: just noticed she also deleted Forky's bday post there was for sure a post for his bday, when she took 'this one' to clay pigeon shooting or whatever it was, I remember scrolling through her posts few days ago & seeing his big ass head right there (I'll try to find original post in old threads); it was this day:
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Spoiler: More Forky wisdom

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Did... did Niomi get 'sacked'?

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So to him relationship = expensive, non-exciting settling down.

He looks like a sleep deprived late 40s Dad here with a stiff back, easing himself into a gentle sit down after driving the missus to the supermarket and back, before taking 5 minutes to check his texts to see what time the kids need collecting from the cinema.

Getitdone.

Niomi organised a big meal at a restaurant with his family for his birthday too didn't she? And she went to his enormous soho house meat feast friends meal where she met all his chums. There were about 12 guys all wearing the same Forky hat there.

 

[pointblankperiod]

I just realized that Niomi reminds me of Emily from Emily in Paris tv-series. I was annoyed with this character the whole time

"Niomi in Bali"... I'd watch that

 

[The Favourite]

I was expecting her to get caught up with weirdos trying to convince her to promote their mlm scams, not an actual cult. She is so naive! Her family must not understand what she's caught up in because they're even more stupid than she is, they just want her to be happy which means she needs to be married to a reasonably wealthy guy before her mid 30s. They probably have an overly polite relationship and never really talk about deep personal things, and she doesn't have any close friends so there is no one who can level with her.

Those pictures of a woman bound and the group of men looking at her... what the f*ck?!

I'm gping to DM her some info about what she's caught up in and how cults prey on people, she might read it and it could spark something. I'm not sure what else to do to help her

 

[Callan]

Lordon's sister has a strange habit of cutting up avocado, putting it in a bowl and calling it a "recipe".

 

[Callan]

Yep, she's trying to prove something to someone.

I never post stories, but my mum told me recently that no-one likes me and I have no friends. So now I purposely post stories doing things with my friends on the weekends just so she can see. Yes, I'm petty and immature.

She definitely wants someone to see she's "happy" and sleeping with a guy.

You have friends, us <3 We love you!

Parents can be such trolls!

 

[Callan]

"Good to be back & relax"... relaxing is all this girl does.

 

[anythinggoes]

I can't believe Niomi has sunk so low that I actually miss Bradley. It's honestly sad at this point how lost she is.

 

[Lilac Wine]

People are calling her out in the comments. It would be nice for once if she reacted with a response.

Anyone looking to dim Nims for thought leadership needs help.

 

[LaraQ]

Geez the more I dig into this guy the more creeped out I get. Yes he follows this Fit for service thing and it's creator Aubrey Marcus on instagram (found a podcast on Spotify which exposes their cultish behaviour but haven't listened to it yet) but I don't know if he's directly connected to them. No need though, he has his own cultish thingy going on!
He seems to be part of the team/organization called Awakened Dreamers & their work is umm.. quite interesting..?

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Proof he's part of the team:

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Funny how on their promotional posters they write "White attire required" but don't say anything about shrooms which I assume are also required.
Oh Nims, what have you gotten yourself into...

WTF?.That's legit creepy.

 

[Shutterbug99]

She seems so lonely. I thought she came to Bali because she had friends there?

Sophie seems to be her main contact there but I think somebody mentioned she is back in London or is soon leaving for London.

She was hanging out with a few randoms last time that she met on her first day in Bali - but they are nowhere to be seen this time around.

I get the impression with her 'romantic spa day for one' that she's pretending she's single again. She also did this when she was with Forky. Not sure why she does this.

 

[cocochino]

Bali is basically Cancun for Australians, every second dirtbag travels there for their bachelor party.

100%. I'm Australian and I would never step foot in Bali! All the feral Aussie bogans go there. I used to think she was so classy and mature, but now she's embarrassing.

If I was her friend, I'd be shocked and concerned that she brought Jamie home. He's so slimy and gross. He's not on the same level as Joe, not even on the same planet. I don't know what the hell she finds attractive about him?

 

[judgejohndeed]

Lol! Convinced he's asking himself these questions!

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Maybe just my interpretation here but sounds like he's saying Niomi held him back with work because she...doesn't do any. Like she's just left to go on holiday yet again. I don't like Forky but I do think he has a decent work ethic, not compatible with Niomi in the long run. He can't run his businesses if he's with someone who just casually goes on a two month break.

Seems kinda weird that horse guy has disappeared (sorry I dunno what we're calling him these days) kinda feels like Niomi maybe just wanted to be able to show off a guy in her 30th photos? Same with Forky I guess, showing off that she had someone to go on holiday with? And he went to her parents' house over Christmas, perhaps she's just collecting guys to use for big occasions so she's not on her own

 

[bluestone]

so after 3 weeks in London she goes back to Bali and seriously thinks she has found her purpose in life...

"I’ve realised it’s possible to live a life where the two work in balance and harmony" this is not what I call balance and harmony, this I call living like a child forever and avoiding responsabilities

 

[Clover123]

Do you think if Niomi could talk with Joe about the break up, she would have a clousure?

Honestly, no. She cannot take criticism, she never has been able to, and years of being a YouTuber have just cemented her opinion than any kind of constructive criticism or negative comment= hate from a hater.

She went hard down the route of "some people can't handle your thunder" and other cheesy quotes which absolve her of all responsibility for the end of the relationship. Her friends and family seem scared to do anything but placate her. She needs yes men around her.

I think any chat with Joe would have fallen on deaf ears. This girl is completely spoiled, selfish and narcissistic- incapable of thinking she can do any wrong. We've seen it time and time again- her true colours have really come out with her grandfather's death and her attitude to everything during the pandemic, including Joe's suffering losing his dream job. I think she wouldn't have allowed herself to get closure because she cannot accept she had ever been anything but perfect.

 

[oshare]

The dogs are obviously living there, just wandering around the house a bit like pets do.

Niomi: "Hashtag Bali "

 

[Clover123]

Niomi has really shown her true colours lately, not flying back for her grandfather's funeral and posting about how happy she is and how blissfully content she feels while her mother grieves.

Now she has the absolute tone deaf idiocy to moan about losing her luggage on yet another trip abroad when most of the UK can't afford a holiday even once this year. The fact she even thought "why me" let alone stood by it enough to post that online is yet further proof that she really is a horrible person, selfish and privileged to the core

 

[Shutterbug99]

I find it very strange that eco warrior Venetia, who once supposedly considered quitting air travel altogether, liked Niomi's latest post which states she'll be spending her time between London and Bali and will be taking a lot of very long-haul flights!

Anyway, Nims can talk about balance and harmony all she likes, but we all know this is about nothing more than locking down Lordon.

 

[QueenBW]

Exactly! She acted oh-so dignified, classy and at peace in that video, she should have just left it at that and moved on with her life. Instead she went on a Joe-bashing podcast tour and lost any chance of him ever returning to her.

I have to say though, I’m not the biggest Joe fan because of the way he handled things. It took him 3+ years to realize that him and Niomi were not a good match, after proposing to her and moving across the planet together? He could’ve been “man enough“ to end it before all of that. I know some say he only saw the true Niomi once the two had to spend lockdown together, but you’d think he would know her character better after that many years. I’m sure she was hiding food from him and acting super controlling way before lockdown/India.

edit: of course, if she was actually emotionally abusive in any way towards him, I’m not victim blaming and am glad he got away!

I've always thought Joe is as shallow as Niomi. I mean, he dated her, and then Anna. Neither seem like good people. He liked how Niomi looked, their whole relationship for like the first two years was about that. It seemed very obvious they didn't have any real conversations, yeah we only saw snippets in vlogs but it was all very superficial, always. He then probably felt pressured from family/friends/everyone to propose before India, and because he was past 30, and because they'd been dating for years, and the rest is history. He's never seemed like such a DREAMY boyfriend to me, kind of absent due to his job and bland and boring when present, but well, he seemed like a decent human at least. Much more than can be said about her new fella. Or Forky.