Niomi Smart #45 Fourchette la baguette and Donkey in the shed, are they engaged yet?

[irvinelane]

Speaking of sex parties, she’s getting ready.. and so are we

 

[sydneybarrett]

Okay I know we've all agreed his teeth are ridiculously big but I've only ever seen his photos + heard him speak in a podcast - I never actually saw these big boys in action. Watched a video of him speaking and MY. GOD. This is nightmare fuel!
Gosh Niomi, how can you kiss that?!

 

[QueenBW]

She looks haggard. I hate that word and its connotations but there's no way around it. She doesn't look freshly turned 30. There's something bitter in her expression that didn't use to be there. She's always been smug and acutely unaware of her privilege, sure, but she didn't use to have that bitterness in her face.

Not surprised she's depressed/bitter/etc. if she takes everything that happens as a "why me?" situation. Like, the universe surely did not conspire to make you lose your stupid luggage, Nims. And surely in her many pseudo-enlightened yoga courses and reads she must have found that the correct answer to "why me?" is "why not me?" I'd understand if she'd had a string of really bad health/family situations. One of my closest friends has recently had five deaths in her nuclear family. In such a case, I'd find a "why me/us?" quite understandable. But for luggage? How self-centered can one be? And how shallow, if the biggest concern of her life right now is the stuff she had in there. Wth.

 

[Clover123]

I don't believe it tbh! I think she is too passive aggressive not to tell everyone, she would have mentioned it to gain the sympathy vote. Even if it came out later, it certainly would have come up in one of her thousands of podcast interviews about Joe!

 

[bluestone]

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In this case I think she *should* take this as a sign Bali is not welcoming her back actually lol

Also gotta love the not so subtle Smart Skin plug. How unnecessary.

ETA - Maybe this is karma for bragging about her bougie flight Not that she keeps up with news and current events but literally everyone could’ve predicted this happening given the current state of airports around the world

I thought she had the best time flying with emirates I hope this gives her a little taste of what's waiting for her, because the more you travel, the more you can get this situation, and it's not karma, these are the statistics.

"I felt like Bali wasn't welcoming me back in the same way before" wait is she actually blaming on Bali ? who can tell her Bali doesn't care about her?

"but now I'm just seeing it as a little test" yeah, right, guys at the airport saw your luggage and said, hey why don't we test her a little bit...

 

[L0vestory]

Sorry for the new account.Couple things - I broke my phone and don't know my password so I just made a new account so I can post this quickly before I forget I was 'marktheshark'. {Peep show reference, I am not called Mark}

Anyway I have an Instagram account for my two British shorthair cats. It's just for fun and I only have like 400 followers. But today I managed to check the account after a week without a phone, and bali donkeys sister Holly liked a few of the photos. I see she has the blue tick so I assume she's looking at the common hashtags I use and liking random photos just to gain attention and get more followers. How is she verified?! Just thought that was very weird. And I wouldn't have thought much if it if I didn't read this thread but I was like wtf

 

[mg95]

The case showed up just after Lordon did. She’ll take that as a sign that he is a positive energy that brings good things with him Notice how quiet she was before he arrived? Now she’s posting her post-coital legs and selfies with her ribs sticking out and smiling manically. She absolutely loses it in the presence of a man.

 

[LolitaBlah]

I will stop watching her if he becomes constantly present in her videos... wait what videos? who am I kidding the woman does 4 videos per year so we're good!

 

[Callan]

Anyone can make an account on here, they can google Nimbobs, come over and say something to get us going. they might be sitting back having a laugh reading all of this... I'm not saying Joe is an angel but this bury him in pits of hell today is a bit much, we do not have actual proof. Nobody deserves to be cheated on, ever, it's absolutely disgusting... But still, it's only a comment that was posted on here. A "friend of a friend" assumed and said so and so.. eh..

 

[sydneybarrett]

She cannot feel safe allowing those chompers to worder south.

but yeah...

 

[LolitaBlah]

I wanna make a joke to loosen up the mood but I just can't find anything to joke about shit I can't use this emoji anymore cause it reminds me of OrgyLordy!!

 

[pointblankperiod]

I also find weird blasting your flings on your BUSINESS account, deceiving your audience with cryptic pics and stories. I wonder what goes on in her "close friends" stories
Oh wait, she doesn't have any

 

[oniongarlictomato]

Remember when we collectively thought she couldn't possibly go any lower than dating a Trump fanboy who eats sushi with a fork?

Idk what the fuck is going on with first gen influencers - there are rumors of Michelle Phan being in a cult, Tati Westbrook is sliding deeper and deeper into evangelicalism (@me all you can but that branch of Christianity is a sex/death cult idcidc), it's WILD

 

[bishbabybo]

Never posted here before but I've been an avid reader for a while! I inadvertently found out some gossip regarding Niomi and Joe this week.. A good friend of Niomi's is also good friends with one of my friends and apparently Dreamy Joe did actually cheat on Niomi (I believe it was with Anna) Obviously gossip is just that so there's no guarantee, however based on how the story came about (Niomi & Joe weren't mentioned, my friend put 2 and 2 together when the friend said that the girl had moved to India with her fiancé for work before she found out about the cheating) I'd say it is a possibility that there's some truth to it!

Little bit gutted if it is true cause I've always had a little crush on DJ

 

[pointblankperiod]

When your fellow cult members left the commune to do their daily human sacrifice, but you decided to stay & workout

Wholesome

 

[Callan]

I also find weird blasting your flings on your BUSINESS account, deceiving your audience with cryptic pics and stories. I wonder what goes on in her "close friends" stories
Oh wait, she doesn't have any

So true!! Estee Lalonde does the same thing, one story is with her boob hanging out of her dress with some emjoi over it, then some drunken rant, next story is some business meeting for Mirror Water and talking with a founder of some random company. These chicks have their wires crossed.

 

[cocochino]

It did cross my mind years ago that he was cheating on her because he was always working such odd hours. He would come back from a work trip and not even go home to shower or change clothes, but go back to work again.

Work was my ex's excuse. He was always so busy "working", so that's why he was home late... but nope, he was out fucking other women.

I wonder if it all came undone during lockdown because he couldn't sneak out to see his side chicks... maybe one of them got angry and sent Niomi a message. I swear she said somewhere that she got a shocking text while she was visiting her mum that ended their relationship.

 

[getawaywithit]

“Thank you for helping me manifest this”.

Wow she has fully lost it lol.

 

[blurstoftimes]

wow what a catch up - when we were all excited over the smoothie bowl weather video back in 2020 i would have NEVER predicted either forky or niomi ending up in a rich white person's cult sleeping with an actual human-horse hybrid person

 

[Coldfeet]

Maybe she does stuff with Lordy that is too personal to share.

Probably busy brushing his teeth for him !!