Niomi Smart #45 Fourchette la baguette and Donkey in the shed, are they engaged yet?

[cocochino]

Not petty and immature. For your mother to say negative things like that to and about you is not acceptable. Shove your ' normal' life in her face for all your worth!!Have a hug as well

You have friends, us <3 We love you!

Parents can be such trolls!

Aww I love you guys!! 🥹

 

[Callan]

^ Tell that to all the nations living in poverty, these people are fking offensive. Privileged spoiled pieces of poo.

 

[ava2014]

What surprises me about Niomi and her family is that she doesnt seem to care about her safety. She brought home a stranger that she knew for a couple of weeks to meet her family and younger sister. What if it was a creep. And now she is going back to him maybe to live with him.

and when she is back she will go vacationing with her family again. Her life is one big empty holiday.

what also surprises me is that Niomi is always the center of attention at every event. I almost never see her on other peoples birthday parties. And somehow everyone is idolizing her in her family and friend group.

 

[Thisisnotanad]

She annoys the hell out of me. I recently booked 2 weeks in Bali it’s only almost 4h away and I haven’t been on a holiday in 10 years! Anyway…since I have never been to Bali before I have already researched what to do there (and mind you we’re a family of 4 and our 2 kids are under 10).
There’s rice terraces, she could at least visit Tegalalang rice terrace, there’s 2 monkey forests, there’s so many temples and traditional dance shows, Balinese cooking classes, Balinese offering making, 7 swing park to take ig pics on the swings, so many waterfalls like Nung Nung or Kanto Lampo, mount Batur volcano hike, the gates of heaven in Lempuyang, Suluban beach in Uluwatu, the Campuhan ridge walk, Nusa Penida, Nusa Lembogan, Ubud, whitewater rafting…and so much more.
And Bali is so soooo cheap, she’ll be spending a small fraction of whatever she spends when she’s in London. She could hire an all day taxi driver and guide for £20-25 a day.
Truth is she’s lazy, dull, boring, massively uninspired and uninspiring.

 

[LolitaBlah]

Can we come back to the we're married shit? I mean...

 

[Dearreader]

Totally agree. Why does she need to justify herself for eating a piece of cake? No-bo-dy cares Niomi, you do you, so drop it and move on!

By the way, don’t talk about non-toxic and clean beauty when you keep burning the planet as fast as your relationship lasts.

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Not niomi talking about non toxic beauty when she gets the head bleached (fried) off herself every few weeks.

 

[whatsever you]

Am I the only one who would be embarrassed to put this kind of photo up knowing my mum, grandma etc are gonna see it? She’s got a boyfriend now, who is she trying to be sexy for? I’m cringing for her!

 

[curiouscat106]

2 days away, I come on for a quick check in on my lunch break and WOW!

WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CKING F*CK?!

Forky gave me the ick, but Lordon actually invokes a real sense of fear in me. If Nims was a friend of mine I’d be hiding her passport. What on earth is she thinking with this guy?!
After Joe I thought she’ll milk the break up for a year, then start up a yoga studio, run retreats and incorporate it all together in a “healthy wellbeing” vegan type brand. Maybe got Sarah Ann involved on the nutritional side of things… and date some “made in Chelsea” type rah guy who owns his own drinks company.

BUT THIS?! Chasing a guy to Bali and basically joining a cult. I’m not sure how much more of this I can watch. I don’t know Nims and I don’t particularly like her, but watching her go down this path is legit distressing viewing.

 

[Callan]

How much do you guys want to bet that in a month she's going to fly back with Lordon and take him on the boat with her.

 

[judgejohndeed]

I don't really see the point in sending influencers messages like that but...I love how when someone says something not positive about her she's 'someone on the internet you don't even know' but when Joe ditched her, reading the comments on her photos was 'like therapy'. Which is it Niomi, you can't have it both ways. People get the measure of her perfectly, we don't need to have met her in real life. It's taken some longer than others to see her true colours but that's not 'trolling'.

 

[curiouscat106]

I’m back on Vlogmas 2018 I started at the beginning and she’s like a different person compared to the day 12 disaster. I can’t remember who said but Nims definitely thought Joe was going to come back from India and propose. He’s given her the advent calendar counting down the days until he gets back and she’s getting waaaay too excited about socks and bath salts. But now she’s booking in for loads of beauty treatments; eyebrows, lash extensions… she’s all “gotta look my best for the engagement pics Christmas!”
Cringe!!! Her meltdown makes so much more sense now. It wasn’t just about him working. It was that he’d come back and didn’t immediately get down on one knee! Or really give a shit that they’d not seen each other for weeks.
Gotta watch the episodes in order, otherwise the boxset doesn’t make sense…

 

[cocochino]

For someone that travels so much, I’m shocked she didn’t take a carry on?! ALWAYS take a carry on with a spare change of clothes and underwear.

And didn’t she fly business? It’s not like she didn’t have a big luggage allowance.

And yes, her latest post is depressing. Why would you take photos of an empty restaurant? Seems sad.

 

[Grapefruits712]

Niomi thinks Bali life can fix everything, even down to her nails. I’m cackling

* Btw, off topic, but I just got my masters diploma today, I’m so happy 🥲 Frantically writing my grad paper and reading this thread at the same time was an experience lmao

Congratulations! So exciting to have successfully manifested your diploma

(Just kidding, enjoy the results of your actual hard work!)

 

[Callan]

Yeah its confusing! But she did say in the podcast that the first couple of months after the breakup she was in denial. When my ex cheated on me and I broke up with him, I actually asked for him back and even suggested an open relationship (I'm SO embarrassed about this!) I was such a mess and I just wanted to forget about it all and have my fantasy life back. So yeah, I get why she said she would've married him despite of issues or cheating... many women do it.

It's terrible how we often feel guilt and embarrassment for someone else's grave mistakes. I'm so sorry you were hurt, its hard when someone wrongs you, it's not like you decided to walk away on your own, happiness was taken away from you. Thank you for sharing <3 you're a very strong person and have a great sense of humor, a total catch!

 

[therlieann]

Ahaha I think they held a manifestation session for her !

She really does not seem herself at all.If you look at her old videosits such a different vibe. I think she really needed therapy after Joe broke it off. I think she will now get into some mistakes that will hopefully open her eyes.

I’ve been thinking along the same lines. In the early weeks after the break up, despite being devastated she could cling on the the hope/fantasy of meeting someone new. She met Joe within a year of breaking up with Marcus and took great pleasure in showing him off. She thought “ok, that was a shit thing to go through, but hey what an upgrade!”
So I would bet that following the Joey break up she thought, “it’s ok next year the universe will send me someone even better!”
Sadly for Nims the universe missed the memo second time around and instead she spiralled into oblivion and a Balinese commune/weird orgy cult.

And don’t feel embarrassed about using her recipes and cook book. Her cooking content was one of the things that started my interest in her. I used to really admire her and think, wow this woman is a natural, she makes healthy eating and cooking look so effortless and easy, she’s so pulled together and I aspire to that!!
I still aspire to have a better diet and be better in the kitchen, but not so much to be like Niomi.

Yea I think she built het new version on a flawed foundation because she never fully healed. I think she will make big mistakes and falls flat on her face. To then finally seek therapy and realise she has to heal all over again and now for real.

I also think the Bali lifestyle in general is sooo cringe. Why are these people taking over another country’s island with all this shit. Its disrespectful and another form of white priviledge and colonialism. Like completely neglecting the local culture and overtaking it with your own culture … thats not adventure.. adventure is exploring a new culture and country not moving yours to a better climate.I haven’t seen her showing her the “real” Bali once, doesn’t even eat Balinese food. This lifestyle is also sooo unsustainable, flying around, eating non local foods. Also,as many backpackers, forget they are in a foreign country like wearing no helmet acting yolo. Most people realise they are in a foreign country when they end up in the hospital or get arrested.

 

[Shutterbug99]

Niomi doesn't have any true friends - that's why they're all encouraging this Lordon shit show. I'm sure it's entertaining for them. All her friendships are shallow and superficial, just like her. She doesn't have any friends who will ask her the difficult questions or tell her some home truths. Nims might see Charlotte as her best friend, but Charlotte doesn't feel the same. Kat is a shallow poser. Then you have hypocrite Venetia who loves to call out big brands for not being sustainable but won't say a word when it comes to her friend Niomi who has announced she'll be taking multiple long-haul flights a year as she flits between London and Bali.

More concerning is the fact that her own mother doesn't seem to call her out on her BS. Instead, Verity seems to pander to her every whim. Why is that? It's pretty clear that Niomi is one spoiled princess but has she really been so damaged by the Joey break-up that Verity is just going to sit back and watch her blow up her life?

I have honestly never seen someone so long-term messed up by the ending of a relationship as Niomi. Most people just have to pick themselves up after a time and get on with life. At this point, she needs professional help. However, I'm not sure she has anyone in her life to tell her that. Maybe they have tried and she just won't listen. She is deep in denial. However, she has proven herself to be such a shallow, vapid, all-round unpleasant person, that I have zero sympathy left for her now - and I had a lot when she was dumped two days after she'd been trying on wedding dresses.

 

[pointblankperiod]

I can't believe she is going back for this.

View attachment 1387950View attachment 1387951View attachment 1387952

It's giving annoying screaming 2 y.o. in diapers

 

[pointblankperiod]

Check out bestie Charlotte’s comment!
Any news bomb dropping soon?!?!

I will lose my shit if that girl gets engaged to this random ass man! I just refuse to believe she's THAT desperate
Also, "living a life of balance and harmony".... Girl where??? Your whole life is in SHAMBLES!!!

 

[irvinelane]

"Good to be back & relax"... relaxing is all this girl does.

She doesn’t look relaxed to me, more constipated actually.. and so angry.

All these selfies have been taken this year, but she doesn’t even look the same than a few months ago.

 

[emcc86]

Hello! Long time lurker here, I must admit I love this thread. All your posts have made me laugh so much and kept me so entertained.
I don’t usually comment but I just saw that she is going back to Bahhhliii already and I can’t believe it. She is UNHINGED!
Who travels that much within a month for absolutely no good reason?!! Other than to chase after some random dude she barely knows. It’s just so cringe!
She thinks it makes her seem so “free spirited & grounded” blah blah but nobody with any sort of real life or career would be just be flailing all over the world like that. She can’t even know this Lordon guy (great name btw) more than a month? And wasn’t she just saying how all the guys in Bali were “on a mission and she wasn’t interested in dating” a few weeks back? Ummm tell us you’re absolutely desperate without telling us you’re desperate!

There is no way her friends and family can seriously think this behaviour is normal. And her poor mum is obviously still grieving and she clearly isn’t interested in spending any time with her. Funny thing too that Verity still doesn’t seem to follow this guy on Instagram yet. He is a walking red flag…. Mr sex party life coach himself.

I honestly think she is just on a serious mission to settle down with anyone as long as it’s before Joe does! He dodged a serious bullet! Can’t wait to see how this one plays out!