Niomi Smart #43 A flamboyance of annoyance

[saywhat22]

I think she is posting all the material of them together now that it's a done deal. She might not have known where the relationship was going a couple of weeks ago but now she feels secure. It's so embarrassing how she wants to show they are intimate enough to share food and call each other baby. She will never keep a man private, ever, it's too much of a trophy in her eyes.

I'm thirty and can't imagine calling someone baby (especially publicly) within a few weeks of knowing them, let alone dating them. Heck I wouldn't even get into a committed (i.e. exclusive) relationship with someone after only a few weeks, at this age. I like to vet 'em for a while first... I know we all think Niomi is looking for a hubby, but to me she just seems on a destructive ego streak with these dudes who are conventionally attractive/active on SM

 

[Lionsden]

Toxic positivity to a tee. Imagine having a relative die of Covid and him saying "things happen for us, not to us." Bellend.

I know. I was just thinking about people in Ukraine having all kinds of things happening "for" them. The guy is an asshole.

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

They certainly seem

Toxic positivity to a tee. Imagine having a relative die of Covid and him saying "things happen for us, not to us." Bellend.

Love this comment and your avatar x

 

[Shutterbug99]

Guys! Time to get those thread titles coming! I have been tasked with making the next thread since @LolitaBlah is away and as you can see I intend to take my thread title duties very seriously! Haha!

 

[curiouscat106]

A quick look on this guys Insta shows that he’s been in Bali since January - I wonder if he’s the reason she went in the first place. Did they know each other, or of each other pre trip?
Also, this is not the image of someone who is happy/healthy/living their best life/in the throws of a new relationship. She looks ill, angry and depressed. It’s been called already but chances this Bali romance will not transition well to her London life. And I’m genuinely shocked she’s brought someone back to her home, like wtf?! I’ve tried to empathise with Niomi but the fact that she hasn’t gone straight to Sussex is legit disgusting.

I cannot wait for this latest tit show to hit the fan. Forky must be absolutely pissing himself laughing right now.

 

[cherryblossomlatte]

She's probably just hangry.

With how little she eats she is probably always hangry

 

[Pundertaker]

I been stupid busy recently, I can't keep up with Bali Barbie. For a woman who has a genuine bread phobia, she's doing an excellent job of dating her way through a load of sliced white.

A Jordan Peterson-loving life coach. Ffs. Do we think she actually goes looking for Jordan Peele movie villains?

 

[Jackie Daytona]

Is it just me or is this horsey/dental daddy probably the least attractive/most smarmy and greasy looking of all her ex flings?
Like I know it’s not all just about looks (he might have a nice personality I guess who knows) but even dettol daddy and *gasp* Bradley look more… refined?
Horsey’s grating accent and those t e e t h and idk something about the fact he’s posting her so early on really rubs me the wrong way.
Of course, he will never compare to Joe even if Niomi keeps trying to find tall dark and “handsome” men to replace him. Even if he ended it things pretty badly with Niomi, he also never exploited her for views and followers, held himself with more class, and was just overall more of a gentleman.
No guy is perfect, that’s true, but I expected her to be a bit pickier with her next fling.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder I guess!

Nah, Forky was straight up a greaseball and looked like he smelled his own farts.

 

[meowmeowmeow3030!!]

Why does she look so mad?

View attachment 1333288

Death stare

 

[Callan]

I'll reply since I was the one who brought it up first ahah. But I personally found Anna gorgeous and her demeanor fun and attractive so. Never understood the criticism she got here but internalized misogyny runs deep.
Bradley started getting very harsh comments once we figured out that he liked conservative disgusting people. Also most of us will never forgive him for eating sushi for a fork.
My post was also written before it was actually confirmed by his ig story. So to me now, it's fair play to say whatever. But until then we didn't really know if we guessed the right guy from all the generic white guys she follows.

On another note, I'm still trying to wrap my head around that girl who spotted first saying that Niomi is even smaller in real life. She's already worryingly thin on social media, couldn't imagine in real life.

Not too long ago a fellow Tattler said she was behind her on a line in a coffee shop and that Niomi's legs looked like the poster's arms, so super tiny for legs. It's a weird thing I see with wealthy people, being feather thin when you can afford the best food is something they feel super proud and smug about.

 

[Nitfey]

Nah, Forky was straight up a greaseball and looked like he smelled his own farts.

So accurate I can't

Niomi smart: another male, desperate for (tooth)fairytale

Niomi smart: thirty and still desperate

And ...I like the suggestion from someone.
Niomi smart and lordon of the teeth.

 

[mindlessness]

Niomi Smart #44 Soft launching teeth in Lordon

 

[coriander]

Loving this new development!
He has a weird voice, reminds me of Borat. Also I wonder if they’re just shagging rather than anything serious. He flew to London with her because he’s the type to be ‘spontaneous’ , I don’t think she’d share a serious relationship this soon.
Also ‘Gnasher’ made me lol and I think we should call him that. Or Culty. Or dental daddy!!

 

[The Favourite]

So, there is a Bali Daddy after all! I think she wants to have the upper hand with her partners as a safeguard to getting hurt. She wants a guy who is a bit beneath her and shallow enough to be super into her, and with toxic masculine traits to compliment her internalised misogyny. She's very aware the dreamy Joeys are out of her league, someone genuine and disinterested in the collective narcissism and consumer bs of the influencer world would not want to be in a relationship with a person who sells their life online to sycophantic, mindless followers, let alone with Niomi Smart the consumerist wellness princess. After Joe she knows she's not in any league interesting enough to hold down a decent guy and she can't rely on her wealth, fame and cute looks, so she's resorting to fame chasing dimwits who are impressed by her. I think she is sincerely tying to find someone she thinks she's compatible with and but she's so effing dumb and awful she doesn't catch how utterly repulsive these men are.
Like, leave it to neo-colonialist Nimbobs to date the worst guys imaginable; Forky, then a Jordan Peterson inspired Bali-resort-dwelling life coach. Truly the dregs. I doubt Dims has any clue who Jordan Peterson is lol but dating these scammy as f*ck dudes who are high-key uber conservative speaks volumes about her.

 

[lilamay]

The selfies this new guy uses just makes his big teeth/gums even more obvious and in your face! I wonder if Dimbobs will try and teach him how to pose and his better angles.

 

[EGuyUK]

Oh look, how lovely...

 

[Nitfey]

Oh look, how lovely...

View attachment 1334622

Oh FFs....another mooning prick?! How surprising...how the F she attracts the most annoying and off putting guys in a instant, is just mind-blowing. Karma is getting her big time and will not stop any time soon. Bravo nimbecile for finding the most obnoxious people as you are.
After "Getting it done", THIS ?? YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS tit UP!
Girl, just cancel yourself already...

 

[Clover123]

Oh look, how lovely...

View attachment 1334622

Wtf is the caption! A four line long sentence without a single piece of punctuation?! This guy is truly insane to think any of this drivel is interesting, why would anyone be proud of themselves for mooning?!

 

[Lady_whistledown2022]

Oh my goodness. She’s brought home her holiday romance She’s letting everything and everyone stable in her life take a back seat for some guy she has known for 3 seconds. It’s like what a selfish teenager would do. Bali romance was fine in Bali but she’s landed home with him hasn’t even washed her hair and she’s out and about with him already. That’s intense!!! I am cringing for when she wakes up and realises she’s got carried away with herself and is now stuck with this guy.

 

[Shutterbug99]

New guy is 35 for anyone wondering. Maybe he is ready for marriage and kids and told Nims as much. It would make sense as to why this all seems so intense so quickly - she extended her trip to be with him, brought him home with her and won't leave him out of her sight. He could be meeting Verity & Co this weekend (that's if she ever decides to go pay a visit to her family).