Niomi Smart #37 I'm NOT an Influencer...Get Me Out of Here!

[Nitfey]

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Ffs....she is so dumb.
You went without a common sense and brain it doesn't mean you need to go through life with the same approach.

Probably bought it in Bali with Joe, who left her, and then wore it on the day they got lost in the forest. Sounds like good luck to me!

I was thinking the same. The luck is nowhere to be seen it is the total opposite. You've been cursed bish...
Wondering if she wore it when buying the shoe box...
I called it as well karma but oh well

 

[AnnaMel]

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And the award goes to...

 

[It wasnt me]

Shes really milking it! Like will we ever hear the end of her getting lost in the jungle follow the guide you dim wit!

 

[Coldfeet]

Wonder if Forky was wearing his lucky pants.........oh wait

 

[squacksquack]

She has no core values, it's whatever sells better. I think Niomi has already proven that she's like a single grape rolling on a plate however you maneuver it. My old boss used that saying and I think here it fits.

God is she a teenager alluding to being in bed with this oaf constantly, please, back to your shed!

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what no Google descriptions of the fruit?

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Dragon fruit is rich in antioxidants like flavonoids, phenolic acid, and betacyanin. These natural substances protect your cells from damage by free radicals -- molecules that can lead to diseases like cancer and premature aging.

 

[coriander]

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A white witch?! I swear everyone in her family is strange. My great grandma was a housewife who liked sewing and eating biscuits.

 

[DarkSideofLurk]

Niomi has never been vegan for ethical reasons, it has always been weightloss

She has always said she is plant based not vegan and for her health I.e orthorexia. She has definitely said its not not ethical reasons and bradley probably spun her the right line for health

Both of these 2 people clearly have a massive issue with food. They went on a hike through the jungle and didn't bring a single proper emergency snack. They had a light breakfast and thought this would be enough to sustain them for their fairly intense trip through the bleeping jungle.

Anything could happen, they could break their leg or the weather could turn. Who doesn't bring food to hike through the jungle? Who thinks a light breakfast is enough? And Bradley seemed most excited by their tour guides calories. Poor guy must have been absolutely exhausted and panicking as he's searching the jungle for them and Bradley posts about his bleeping calorie count.

I completely agree, Forky even said in his stories that they had a light breakfast because they didn't want to feel 'bloated for the hike' i.e. they didn't want to be bloated for the semi-naked pics in the waterfall. They definitely deserve each other.

 

[Sasa44]

She’s actually lost her bleeping marbles. Somebody send her back to school.

 

[Nitfey]

A white witch?! I swear everyone in her family is strange. My great grandma was a housewife who liked sewing and eating biscuits.

The white witch...Gandalf? Galadriel?The witcher ? Oh Dumbledore?
Did she attend the school of witchcraft and wizardry named Hogwarts ?

 

[lilamay]

She's still going on

Who cares about proper clothes/supplies/safety measures - just wear your special rings, they'll protect you!

 

[Nitfey]

She’s actually lost her bleeping marbles. Somebody send her back to school.

Totally. I don't know what kind of mushroom powder she is taking but it is hitting her hard...big time. To add, and I thought she will be the crazy one running into the wild butt naked but here we are.

She's still going on

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Who cares about proper clothes/supplies/safety measures - just wear your special rings, they'll protect you!

Okay nimbecile

 

[oshare]

Off topic here but all bodies need at the very least .8-1g which is already on the low side of things. Ideally for maintenance/building 1.6-2.2g of protein per kg is better.

I don’t know what you weigh but 80g of protein a day is fine for someone who weighs 80-50kg (1-1.6g). To say that “that’s about double what I need per day” is dangerous statement since “uneducated” people may be taking notes. It’s not your responsibility to make sure other people don’t follow ill “advice” but it is everyone’s responsibility to not spread misinformation.

That's why I said "what I need per day" not what someone else needs per day! I am very short/small lol and I'm not growing/building/maint. muscle. I know very well how much I need and for me, between 80-110 grams is perfect Saying how much I need is not spreading misinformation, because it gives information about my own needs, not someone else's needs! So there was no need to try to correct me here
In my country it is recommended to eat 0.83 gram of protein per kg, but pregnant women, vegetarians and vegans are recommended a little higher (20-30% more). So once again, there was no misinformation here as I was simply writing down my own needs, not what you, niomi, bradley or anyone else needs.

 

[irvinelane]

what no Google descriptions of the fruit?

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He doesn’t even know what those fruits are, so Googling them would be a pretty tough task.

 

[Ms.Marble]

She's still going on

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Who cares about proper clothes/supplies/safety measures - just wear your special rings, they'll protect you!

A PR gift is what that ring is, by her friend Amelia Liana. Evil eye and moonstone rings protected her? What in the actual world is she on about?
These two did sweet duck all to get themselves out of the situation and her rings didn't do anything either. In fact every decision they made and every action they took (except for calling their guide and listening to him) made their situation worse.....
Had they not just 'forged ahead' their guide could have found them when he was returning to the waterfall. It's their arrogance of thinking that they will for sure just find their way because of their 'can do' attitude.
But still, the funniest tit to me is Bradley climbing on a tree to look for the random helicopter.

 

[irvinelane]

This moron cracks me up papaya and beetroot on the cover of the book become mango and broccoli in emojis no wonder he hasn’t researched some Google descriptions earlier, he can’t even recognize what he eats.
Yeah, give this a very good read Bradley, you definitely need it!

By the way, is it Niomi’s gifted book?

 

[Whowhowho2020]

I would say it’s quite unlucky to get lost in the jungle actually but ‘luck’ ‘fate’ ‘evil eye protection’ etc are no match for the level of stupidity required for them to actually get lost in the first place.

She really can’t see this situation was a result of their own actions,

 

[laplusheureuse96]

I can’t. Also, the Nazar eye (on her ring) is used in numerous middle eastern countries, including Iran, where I am originally from. She can wear it, whatever, but is she seriously attributing special powers to it? It just seems weird af to me. She has no connection whatsoever to the Middle East or its culture(s). Iranians take the evil eye very seriously and guard themselves against it with the Nazar eye. For Dimbobs, it’s more likely just a pretty accessory, no way does she actually believe in it. It’s truly just another PR gift by her annoying friend.

By the way, Forky seemingly deleted my comment (at least I can’t see it anywhere) but hasn’t blocked me yet? Lol

 

[spilltheteatime]

Did anyone notice on Bradley’s stories just after the waterfall (apparently the same time they got lost) he is filming away, filming him and Dimbobs talking about the waterfall and how great it was. Next story, they’re lost. They were probably too bleeping busy on their phones and weren’t paying attention to the guide

I haven’t caught up on the thread but they were 100% too bleeping busy having a sneaky shag somewhere.

 

[romansalad]

I currently have covid and Mr and Mrs Forkinson Crusoe holiday adventures have truly been a highlight of my recovery. You guys are too funny!!!

 

[kale-supremacist]

I'm very superstitious myself ( like @laplusheureuse96 we have been using the nazaar and the hamza culturally for centuries). But superstitious as I am, getting lost with Bradley would have been seen like a very bad sign. I would have dropped his ass asap. (Also look at the rescue team... bunch of gorgeous men )

I actually think a breakup might be on the horizon. I feel like they got lost because of one of his dumb ideas, and now she's embarrassed and can't stand him. Her odd language is quite cold and distant.