This situation is similar to the one my family found ourselves in, many years ago. Despite extensive police investigations, we have devastatingly never got any answers about what happened and have had to learn to live with that. We got closure of sorts by a body being found and a cause of death (drowning) but it is still a mystery as to what happened.
The period in which my close family member (a parent) was missing was extremely traumatic. We were watched very closely by the police, hounded by the local media and it was the closest thing to hell on earth that I could imagine. I am remain traumatised by the experience over two decades on. To go through this experience with the intensity of the online conspiracy theories and scrutiny of the family members doesn't bare thinking about.
I couldn't think straight, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, could barely string a sentence together let alone a coherent one. I remember nervous laughter, my external emotional reactions not matching my internal ones (smiling when dying inside to try and project an image as 'ok' when I was anything but). I remember a police officer staring at me when my sister said something that made me smile, it felt like I shouldn't possibly be able to smile in that situation.
I am glad that most of you have no idea how you would react, but I can tell you it might not be exactly as you think it would be. If Nicola's partner said something you believe you wouldn't have said, or did something you think you wouldn't have done, you may judge him but you probably shouldn't. We react in different ways when we are under intense stress. I have some insight but it wasn't the media storm that this is.
My heart goes out to Nicola's family and friends. They may read the online comments and theories. They will undoubtedly be affected by them, especially her partner and children. It WILL add another layer of trauma. It's already an extremely traumatic thing to live through.